Steven Barnes presents three questions to filter what you say and write: Is it true? Is it useful? Is it kind? He calls their opposites the Three Pits—lying, incompetence, cruelty—and argues these gates matter in relationships, work, and how we talk about politics.
Greetings. Steve Barnes here with Life Writing Live. As you can probably tell, I'm experimenting, trying something a little bit new. Today we're talking about the three gates. And I like the three gates because it's such a good moral structure that I thought that we'd dip into that just a little bit more today. Once again, my name is Stephen Barnes. I've created the Life Writing system of Personal Improvement and the approach to writing, as well as a professional writer and New York Times best selling writer and all that good stuff. But most importantly, I just love teaching and sharing. Now, I wrote a paragraph earlier and I just wanted to read you that paragraph. So once you see the value of the three gates governing language. And the three gates are three questions. Is it true? Is it useful, Is it kind? You can use them to see the implications of the opposite of these three. Call these the three pits. You know, just for comparison and simplicity's sake. The three, you know, if you know, is it true, Is it useful, Is it kind? The opposite would be lying, incompetence and cruelty. Right? Okay. So if you understand, if you try to adhere to these three and you begin to understand what it costs you to even admit that, that you want the results, that you admit, that you want your words to be honest, that you want the things that you say to be as true as you can make them, that you want the things that you say to be useful, they're of benefit to people. You're trying to give them something from your heart and to be kind, that you feel empathy. You understand that you're talking to other human beings with hopes and dreams and needs. And you try very hard to be certain that, that what you're saying does not hurt them, you know, Therefore somebody who says, you know, well, it's true that the baby was ugly, you know, I just spoke the truth. Yeah, but was it useful and was it kind? No, it wasn't. So if you find out what it costs you, and it does, to pay attention to all three of these things, you can start asking yourself, what kind of person cares about these? And what kind of person would you need to be in order to do this? Okay. And that allows you to turn it around and look at the opposite, to ask the question, what kind of person is dishonest, incompetent and cruel? Because those are the polarities. That's what you're dealing with. We are either heading towards the light or we're heading towards the darkness. That sense. So the three gates in the one hand are a gate to paradise. You know, everything you say should. You should try to make sure that they adhere to these three. And the other way around, the three pits lead you to hell. I mean, if you're not concerned with being honest, if you're not concerned with being useful in the world, and if you're not concerned with being kind, then what kind of human being are you? So I would suggest that you look not just at yourself and ask these questions, but apply these to the people who you work with, the people who are in your relationship with, the people who you elect to lead our country. These are important questions. If you think that it is important to be honest and useful and kind, then stand for that and be certain that you're prepared to take a stand there and that you're not willing to settle for anything less than that. Thank you very much for listening to me. This is a brief one. Today. I just kind of wanted to put that out there, talk to you. If you find that this conversation has been useful, please be sure to share it. That's the only way that we know which conversations are useful to you and which ones are not. And if you enjoy this way of thinking, please visit the program, the wonderful program we have at www.fiveminutelifehacks.com. you take care and I'll talk to you later.
