A comedian pitches Eternalize, a fictional eyewear brand supposedly 591 years in the making from an underground Hackney studio. The joke: ultra-dark lenses, a dramatic backstory about living in shadows, and direct-to-consumer shipping that promises to stop you dead.
For centuries, I lived life in the shadows. Unable to have my time in the sun. Radical? Nah. Immortal? Eugh. Yeah. Then I saw the light. Literal light. I created Eternalize, a modern eyewear brand 591 years in the making. Handcrafted in an underground studio in Hackney, these killer shades provide extra dark lenses. We sell and ship right to your neck of the woods and guarantee a look that will stop you dead.
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