Cara's Sleep Training Journey: Let's Talk About Crying, Research, and Attachment

Can I share my story with you today? Perhaps some of you have heard it, but I just feel like somebody's out there who needs to know it. My entire life, more than anything else in this world, I wanted to be a mom. That's what I wanted. My heart's desire was to be a mom. And then I was pregnant with Ella. And here I am, a baby nurse, He's a pediatrician. Like, wouldn't you assume, like, we'd be incredible. We kind of thought, well, how hard can it be? We're good at taking care of babies now. Sleep was where it got hard. As a doctor, as a nurse, we knew the importance of baby sleep. We knew how vital baby sleep is for their development. But the sleep department is where it got really hard for us. By the time Ella was eight months old, she was up every hour in the night. She was nursing literally every hour. And bedtime was always a battle and it was always hard. And I had anxiety starting around 4:30 or 5 every night because I just knew what laid ahead for us. And, guys, I wasn't the mom I wanted to be. I wasn't the mom I knew I could be. I was. I don't think I could have admitted it then, but I was just full of resentment. Like, I gave this baby girl who I loved with all of my heart, every part of me, all day and all night, I just wanted to sleep and couldn't. And it was really, really hard. And my relationship with Ludwig was suffering and I was cranky and Ella was cranky, and she wasn't eating well during the day because she would eat all night long. And it was just really hard. So hard that one time, one day, Ludwig and I, we were really going at it and he said, you need to put her in a room, shut the door and come back in the morning. She's gonna figure it out. And I was like, oh, my gosh, that's mortifying. And you guys, he's a pediatrician. He loves babies. He loves that baby. He is. His heart is so pure when it comes to kids and babies. And I just felt like I couldn't do that. And that set me on a mission to research sleep and show him that babies should never cry in association with sleep. I set out on my journey to show him that, and his one request was, okay, Kara, but use evidence based research. He was saying, kara, you look at medical studies, I'll look at anything you want me to see, but you look at the medical research and we're going to get this baby to sleep. So I did, and here's what I found. Sleep is so important for our babies that even if there's crying involved, the benefits of sleep are so important. And sleep training works. And it doesn't have to be that. That way where you shut them in a room and come back the next day. It doesn't have to be like that. But sleep training works for our babies. That was all good in my head, like, the nurse part of me was like, okay, it works. But in my heart, the mama heart of me was like, you don't understand. I love this baby girl more than anything else in the world. I don't want to do anything to harm our connection, our attachment. And that was like, a big hurdle for me. And research shows that it doesn't. It won't harm that attachment. And those, you know, cortisol level, the stress, that. That was a big part of it. And here's what I found. Like, okay, the cortisol levels are actually lower afterwards because sleep deprivation and interrupted sleep is stressful on our bodies and our brains and our emotions. And cortisol is higher when we're not sleeping. So I'm gonna tell you, we got Ella sleeping, and it was life changing. It was life changing. It was the answer for Ella. It was the answer for me to help me be the mom. And it was the answer for our relationship, like him and I could. We were bonded again and on the same page, and it's just so important. And so I do this. That's why taking care of babies exists, you guys. Ella was like a different baby. She was happier. She was eating well during the day. She was developing, like, rapidly. It was such a change. But it wasn't just a change for her. It was a change in me. Like, my anxiety was, like, down, and I didn't dread our evenings and our bedtime and our nights, and I was the mom. I was finally the mom I was wanting to be. And. And it was life changing. And that's what I want for other babies and for other moms and for other families. So if you are in a place like I was, where you're like, I don't know if it's okay. I don't know if it's the best thing. I want you to know that the medical studies tell us it works, and it is okay. And I get it that people can throw this study and this study and that study at you. But evidence based research has three components. First is that evidence, that scientific medical study that I showed you. And the second part of evidence based Research is about the experience of the clinician, the clinical experience. I am that person. I am the nurse and my clinical experience. Guys, I've been doing this for many, many years and I've worked with hundreds of thousands of families and I can tell you it is the best thing for these families. It works and they're well connected and bonded afterwards. And My class, the ABCs of Sleep, has a 98% success rate. I want to acknowledge this. Sleep training isn't for every family. That's the third component of evidence based research, guys. The third component is to put the patient's best values and, and interest and circumstances at the center. And I'm going to tell you, sleep training isn't for every family. And that's okay if it's not for your family. I believe with all my heart you hear me say this, there's no better mama on the planet for that baby than you. And you know I believe that. I also know this, that I created the first five month bundle, the newborn class, and navigating months three and four in hopes that you might not have to sleep train. That you can lay that healthy sleep foundation in those first five months without ever needing to sleep train. That's why I have those classes. If you have a sleeping baby and you're doing well, then you don't have to sleep train. I need you to hear this. I never set out to have a business. I never set out, I never had a business course. I've never had a business plan. And people will ask me like, Kara, oh, what's the secret sauce to this business? And I'm like, you guys, big magazines want to like feature me in, in business magazines. And I'm like, no, I turned them down. Because guys, it's not about a business. This was never about a business. It's not about selling. It's about I care. I care about the mom in front of me. You who I'm talking to right now, that's my heart. I care about you. And if you don't need to sleep train your baby, I don't want you to. But if you do, if you are like me, I'm here and I have a class. And that's what this has always been about. It's always been the mom right in front of me. Not about selling anything. And so if you need help, I'm here. The way I can do that best is through my class. And if it doesn't work for you, there's a 30 day money back guarantee. Because if I can't change your life, you get your money back. That's how I feel. And so, yes, of course, like, over the years, I've had to develop a business. But the secret sauce. The secret sauce, you guys, is loving the mom right in front of you and praying a whole lot for her. And that's it? That's it. And so if I can help you, I'm here. And I want you to know sleep training is not going to harm your baby. It's not. I'm well attached to mine. And I know you will be well attached to yours. Maybe even more so after you're all sleeping. Well, I'm sending you love today. Thank you for sticking around to the very end. Sa.