Is Your Toddler Fighting Bedtime? Try this!

Okay.

If you're expecting or you have a 10 year old or you have a child anywhere in between, today's stories are for you specifically. I'm talking about the 18 to 26 month range. But I'm telling you it doesn't matter where you are on that parenting spectrum. I think you'll find something to take away here. I want a first before, before I show you these next few videos. I want you to understand what's happening at 18 to 24, 26 months. Little ones are learning my voice makes a difference in this world. Does that excite you? That excites me. Our little ones are learning my voice matters. I can use my voice to impact change. That makes me so happy. Okay, but watch this.

I just put my 22 month old daughter down. She's sleep trained, but she cries and she sells.

Mommy, mommy.

So I go in.

Okay, Stella, you're okay.

Okay, it's time for night night now.

I love you.

And you leave. And then this happens again. It breaks my heart. I can bear it for just a few minutes. I usually go back in.

It's okay, baby. You're okay. Can you lay down?

Lay down, sweet girl.

You're okay.

You're okay, Stella, you're okay. I love. Here comes daddy. She's still crying.

Time.

It's been about four or five minutes. She usually starts calling her daddy about now. So Dave's going in, daddy to the room. Daddy goes in and rocks her. And I'll report back in a few. Okay, so Dave just got out of the room. Are you rocking her, babe?

So I rock her for about a minute or two and then I ask her if she's ready to go to the crib, which she always says yes. And then I give her a kiss and I tell her I love her and good night. And she says, I love you, daddy. Sweet dreams. And I leave and we never hear another sound.

So Kara, what do you think about that? Because we keep going through this. Michael, help.

That's hard to watch, isn't it?

Okay.

Stella is learning that her voice matters. That she can use her voice to impact her little world. And boy, she's impacting it, isn't it? Here's the challenge. Her parents know what she wants, she wants out of the crib. But they also know what she needs. She needs sleep. And so our job as parents is to take our little ones, understand their wants, know their needs and do what's best, right? And so our job is to provide very consistent, very firm, very loving boundaries around their little voice. Because that provides security, that helps them feel safe when we do that. But we need to give her a chance to use her voice to impact her little world while still getting what she needs. Watch this.

Hi.

Hi. Okay, Stella, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna read a book, then I'm gonna rock you. And then you tell me when you're ready to go in your crib. Okay. And when I put you in your crib, you're gonna do night.

Oh, yeah. No. Yeah.

And your mama will rub your back and say, I love you.

I love you.

I love you too. And then you're gonna do night night. Okay. And mama's not gonna come back in. You're gonna tell me when you're ready. Okay? Okay. We just finished reading our book, and now it's time to do rock a Rock and then go in our crib. Are you gonna say I'm ready?

I'm ready.

Okay. Here's your choice. Do you want mommy to rock you?

Yeah.

Or do you want daddy to rock you? Rock you Mama or Daddy?

Daddy.

Okay. Should we go get Daddy? Can you call him Daddy? Okay. So we took a little bit of a different approach tonight, so we'll see how this goes. I explained to Stella what was going to happen, what she could expect during the bedtime routine. And then we gave her a choice. Whether I was gonna put her down or daddy was gonna put her down and rock her, and she chose Daddy. My heart's broken, but I just want her to go down without any issues. So we'll see how it went. Dave just came out. She's not crying. Nope. So those choices worked. I'm just telling her what was gonna happen.

Always does.

We did it. She did it. Are you crying?

Wasn't that beautiful? Okay, Moment of truth. Moment of honesty. I didn't know how it would go. I didn't. Stella could have just as easily have screamed when Dave put her down. She could have. She could have protested. And in that case, here's what I would recommend. Bridget. Dave, for the next three, four, five, six, seven nights, you go back to the ABCs, your class that you took when she was young, and you follow it consistently. You keep giving her the same message. You provide those clear boundaries. You let her use her voice, but you are very consistent, and she'll get it. But in this case, Stella just needed an opportunity to use her voice, and she did it with you. When Ella was a baby, I had this neighbor, and she gave me parenting. Parenting advice that I'll never forget. Here it is. She said, kara, anytime you talk to Ella, starting now, make your word as good as gold. Make your word as good as gold. So if you say ella, it's time for a nap, that means it's time for a nap. If I say Ella, I'll be back to get you at 3:30. Be there at 3:30. When you say yes, follow through on your yes. When you say no, follow through on your no. And she went on to explain to me that when littles have this loving and consistent boundary, it helps them feel very safe and very secure. And that's when we have well attached little ones. Now let me be honest with you. I failed a lot over the years. Sometimes I said no and then I gave in. Or I said I'd be there in time to tuck you in for bedtime. And my patient was delivering and daddy did it. That's life, right? And we have to have flexible little ones too. But overall, I tried so hard to remember Kara, make your word as good as gold. So today I'm telling you, make your word as good as gold. Those loving boundaries lead to secure little ones. And to those of you in that 18 to 24 month period, those of you facing the 24 month sleep regression, I know it's hard. They're figuring out how to use their voice. It's a good thing. It's a really good thing. Again, clear boundaries make your word as good as gold. You got this.