Cara Dumaplin talks about why babies prefer one parent over the other and what to do about it. She shares her own experience and offers practical tips for parents navigating this common phase.
So I gotta know, are you the favorite parent or the non favorite parent? You're probably one or the other. Either you're the one that your child always wants, the one that they want to do everything with, the one that they want to do everything for, or you're feeling like chopped liver. I want you to know parental favoritism is an absolutely normal part of childhood development. It is not an indicator of your love or ability with a child. But I know it can be hard. So let's talk about it. I'd like to share a story with you about my own child. When Jace was 12 months old, I was the favorite parent. He wanted me always. In fact, Daddy wasn't allowed to do anything. In fact, I can remember looking at my husband and he was like. And I looked at him like, are you kidding me? It must be so nice. I have to feed him dinner. I have to give him the bath. I have to do the bedtime routine. It's all on me, me. And then about six months later, it all changed. My husband would walk in from work and Jace would see him, his face would light up, he would run to him. Daddy. And I became the forgotten one. And I was like, are you kidding me? I've been here with him all day and suddenly he wants nothing to do with me. My poor husband just couldn't win.
Can I share some advice with you that took me years to learn? First, remember what I said at the beginning. This is a part of normal childhood development. One parent isn't better and one is worse. It's not about one parent doing everything and the other parent doing nothing. It's just about your child and what they're going through developmentally at that time.
Time.
The other thing. Remember, you two are a team. It's the two of you against the problem, not the two of you against one another. I wish I could have gone back to my husband and been like, babe, it's you and I against parental favoritism. We got this. Some things that I wish we could have done differently was like, instead of me feeling like it was all on me to do the bedtime routine, I wish I would have said, okay, Jace, you sit on my lap. I'll hold you, but daddy's going to read your bedtime story so that we could work together against the problem.
I wish at that time I would have had practical tips to help me through it. So here are some to help you and your family.
