🌙 Toddler Sleep Training Free Preview | Taking Cara Babies 🌙

In order to help your child become a great little sleeper, we need to make sure their body, their mind and their heart are prepared for sleep. Their body, their mind and their heart. All three must be ready or sleep will be a struggle. So how do we do this? Well, we fill their three tanks, their tired tank, their control tank and their attention tanks. If you've taken a previous class from me, you may remember the tired tank. But at this age, it's so much bigger. We must fill all three in order to get good sleep. They are vital. Let's dive in and talk about each one. The tired tank is how we make sure your child's body is prepared for sleep. If you've heard this before, hang with me. It's still so important. This. Yes. A red solo cup represents their tired tank. When they wake up in the morning, it's completely empty. The goal for great sleep is to fill it up when it's completely full. When that sleep drive is high, it dumps out, washes over them and helps them sleep well. Now, some children at this age will fill it by noon or 1pm and will need a nap. Others can go all day before it's full. We'll talk specifics later, but for now, here's what you need to know. It starts empty when they wake in the morning. And everything they do, every activity, is helping to fill it. For example, your child wakes up, has breakfast, that tank begins to fill. Then they play with their toys, that tank fills some more. They go to the park to meet up with some friends, still filling. You all come home, eat lunch, that tank fills even more. Basically, what I'm saying is this. As your child's day progresses, their tired tank fills and fills. So their body is tired enough to fall asleep and stay asleep. We want to fill this tank to right here. So when they lay their head down, it dumps out over them and helps them fall asleep and stay asleep. Now think about this with me. What if their tired tank only gets filled to here? It won't be full enough to dump out and wash over them. This means it will be so tough to fall asleep and stay asleep. Now on the flip side, if it's overfull, that's like trying to drink from a fire hydrant. It's coming at them so quickly that it's flooding their little bodies. This represents an overtired child who is being flooded with stress hormones. Yes, cortisol and adrenaline flood their little bodies and they get overtired and overtired. Children also struggle with falling asleep and staying Asleep. Bottom line, we need that body to be awake and active for an age appropriate amount of time to get great sleep. We are aiming to fill that tired tank to the brim without it overflowing. Next, we need to prepare their mind for sleep. Their control tank must be full, too. Perhaps you've heard this? No, Daddy, I do it myself. Remember? They are exerting their newfound independence. Our little ones are really craving the feeling of control, and we want to honor that while still holding firm boundaries. Think about it from their perspective. Most days, I don't get to decide where I go, how long I'll be there, what I do, what I eat, or what I'll wear. Those choices are made for me. So they seize every opportunity for control when they can. If by the end of the day they haven't had opportunities to make decisions for themselves, they are likely going to try to fill this control tank before going to sleep. And this leads to big bedtime battles. So how do we fill this little mind tank, their control tank? By giving controlled choices. Here's an example. When it's time to head upstairs for the bedtime routine, instead of time to head upstairs, which could be met with defiance and tantrums, try this instead. Hey, Jase, it's time to head to your room. Would you like to walk or ride on my back? He thinks for a moment and then responds, on your back. Oh, good job. You built a tower.

Okay.

You did a great job.

All right. Hey, all done, buddy. We gotta go to bed. Okay?

Okay.

Hey, do you want to walk to bed or do you want dad to carry you to bed?

Okay, do you want to carry. Okay, let's go. Come here, Mommy. Walk. Oh, you want to walk?

You want to walk? All right, let's hold. Hey, hold mom and Dad's hand, okay?

Oh, okay. All right. You can run to bed. See how this works? Your child gets to choose how he gets to his room, but you are still accomplishing the ultimate goal of getting him to his room. Some other examples are, do you want to wear these pajamas or those. Do you want to read books in the chair or on the floor? Do you want to read two books or three books tonight? Do you want your pillow on this side of the crib or this side? Do you see? Your child gets to feel like they are in control when. While you are still holding firm boundaries and accomplishing the needed goal. Now can I give you some tips about offering choices? Don't make it complicated. Offer a choice between two different things that are within their control. Offering more than two Choices can often be overwhelming. Also, be mindful about the questions you ask. Sometimes we unintentionally ask our children, are you ready for bed? When. When what we really mean is, it's time for bed. We want to avoid offering a choice about something that really isn't a choice. Instead, you could frame it. It's time for bed. Do you want to put the toothpaste on your toothbrush or do you want me to do it? Time for bed isn't an option. But who applies the toothpaste? Can be. Now, I do want you to know that there will be times when your little one refuses to pick one of your options. It could go like this. Okay, Jace, you get a pick. Walk to your room, or I carry you. If he protests or refuses to make the choice, then you say, if you don't want to choose, then I'm going to choose for you. And I will choose to carry you. Now, which choice is it? None. Okay, I choose to carry you to your room. Parents, once you make that choice, stick to it. Remember, your word is as good as gold. Okay, so that's the control tank. Before we move on, I need to tell you not everything needs to be a choice in your child's life, but rather, be intentional with it throughout your child's day. Start by offering three to four choices each day as it feels appropriate. Add in more. If your child goes to daycare or preschool, that's okay. No matter what your day looks like. Just aim to offer controlled choices when you can. This can help prevent all those choices from bubbling up at bedtime. Controlled choices are the key to filling the control tank and preparing that little mind for sleep. Just as it's important to fill your little one's tired tank and control tank to help them fall asleep and stay asleep, it's also important to fill their attention tank. This is how we prepare their little hearts. Firstly, remember, your child at this age wants to make you happy. They want you to celebrate their accomplishments and they love your attention. Perhaps you've heard mommy, watch. Or daddy, look. Or the constant and never ending Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mom, Mom. All day long. Does this sound familiar? Your child wants to know, am I valuable? Am I loved? Am I important? Do I make you proud? The answer is yes, yes, yes and yes. So let's talk about how to fill that little attention tank throughout the day. Each time you give your child attention, play with them. Give them uninterrupted time. You make a little deposit into their attention tank. By the end of the day, when we want that Tank to be full. We want their heart connected to ours. When we increase connection, we increase cooperation. Did you catch that? When we increase connection, we increase cooperation. This is so helpful, especially when it comes to sleep. That little heart is prepared. It's well connected and that attention tank is full goal. One reason for bedtime battles can be that your little one's attention tank is lacking a bit. Please hear me. I know this can be hard, especially if you work outside of the home and only get evenings with your child. But never underestimate the power of just 10 to 15 minutes of your undivided attention. We are surrounded by so many distractions vying for our attention. Phones, screens, work, responsibilities, and maybe even a baby sibling. Sometimes our children can go a whole day without true one on one connection. We tend to do so much to and for our kids that often with our kids get pushed aside. Let that sink in. We do so much to and for our kids that with our kids get missed. Don't beat yourself up. Those same words feel like a dagger to my own heart with my own kids. Let's talk about how to move on from this. One strategy is to implement special time. This is intentional, focused, one on one time for 10 to 15 minutes each day. First you're going to name it and claim it. Maybe it's Mommy and Ella's special time. Maybe you call it Mommy minute, Daddy and Daisy's date, Penny's party, Lily and Mommy's time. It doesn't matter what you call it, but name it and claim it every single day for 10 to 15 minutes. If you're in a two parent household, this can work with both parents together or you can alternate parents every other day. If you are a single parent, you got this just 10 to 15 minutes. But what do you do during this 10 to 15 minute special time? First turn your phone off or put it in another room. We want all distractions minimized to the best of your ability. For that whole time, allow your child to lead. Let him pick the activity. If you need to give a few choices, that's fine. But let your child lead. Maybe you spend the 10 to 15 minutes working on a puzzle, playing with dolls, racing cars, or coloring a picture. Whatever it is, make sure your little one has your full attention. Now, I would not recommend using screens during this time because we want you to be actively engaged as your child leads. Maybe at first you try this special time 10 minutes prior to starting the bedtime routine. We don't want it to be a part of the bedtime routine. We want it separate, but it can come in the 10 minutes prior. If that works best for your family over time. Because of this special time, you will find your little one much more cooperative as her connection is strong and that attention tank is full to the brim. That little heart is ready for sleep. So parents, those are your three body, mind and heart. Tired Tank. Control tank. Attention tank. Each morning they start off empty and our goal by the end of the day is to make sure they are completely filled. It really does impact sleep.