Season 3 Episode 14 Part 1: Dr. Jeeyoon Kim -- "Force of Nature," Award-winning Concert Pianist, Art Activist, & Author

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Welcome back to another episode of The Piano Pod with Yukimi Song. For this episode, I invited Dr. Ji Eun Kim, who is described as a force of nature who lives for that special connection with a live audience. I just finished interviewing her, and this quote is such a perfect description of Ji-eun as an artist. I've wanted to interview her since the get-go, and I knew of her even before I started The Piano Pod with Yukimi Song through her YouTube channel, which we will discuss in detail during the show. Anyway, I got an email from her publicist during the lockdown of 2020 to see if Ji-eun can be on The Piano Pod with Yukimi Song because she just finished writing her book at the time. The book is called "Whenever You're Ready" Oh, by the way, this book is really awesome, and I have read it a few times, and I highly recommend it. The book tells you about a real life as a pianist, and it also gets quite philosophical, like what does success look like to you? What do you want to bring to the world as a pianist? Anyway, finally, after over 2 years, I was able to invite her to interview, and I am excited to share this episode with you today. Now, I wanted to start a podcast show because for the longest time I felt a huge gap between the classical music world and the general public, and I wanted to start this show to fill the gap. Ji-Yoon seemed to have the similar question or curiosity as mine, and she dedicated her career not only in her concert performances but also in audience engagement by creating innovative concert programs, recordings, writing a book, creating a fan base on digital platforms, and more. So today I want to focus on how we as classical musicians should be in touch with the rest of the world and connect with our audience in this modern and complicated world in a creative and meaningful way. So before inviting the guest of this episode, I want to welcome everyone who is listening to or watching The Piano Pod with Yukimi Song with Yukimi Song for the first time. I'm a classical pianist and educator from New York City, passionate about creating a thriving and meaningful community of the classical music industry through this podcast. Please visit yukimisongstudio.com to find more about my work. In each episode of The Piano Pod with Yukimi Song, I interview a guest speaker who has been breaking exciting new ground in the music industry. Before getting started, I want to thank everyone for tuning in today. Please rate the show and review it on Apple Podcasts because Every rating or review will help people find my show. So everyone, are we ready for Episode 14? All right, here we go. Dear friends, please enjoy the show. You are listening to The Piano Pod with Yukimi Song, where we talk to the brightest minds in the industry about how they are bringing the piano into the 21st century.

I am honored to welcome Ms. JuYoon Kim. Described as a force of nature, who is an award-winning classical pianist, recording artist, art activist, author, and educator. She has delighted audiences globally with her sensitive artistry, impeccable technique, and engaging and innovative concert experiences. Her dedication to pushing the boundaries of traditional classical music to connect with a new audience has inspired a dedicated and passionate fan base both at concert venues and on digital platforms. So Jiyeon, welcome and thanks for being here. I'm so excited to get to hear your stories today and then learn from you, especially having me. Of course, thank you. And especially on the topic of audience engagement and how you are creatively engaging your fans. And I think that's one of the hottest topics right now in the industry, in our industry, especially with the rise of social media and digital platforms. But it's not just about our digital footprint or presence. It's more to do with how we as classical musicians can relate to and reach out to the new contemporary audience. Yeah, so, and I consider you as like a front-runner or the model in our industry in that way, because you've been really dedicating your career and life to audience engagement in many, many innovative ways. And so Chi-Yun, I want to start by reading this quote from you, your book, whenever you're ready. I totally enjoy the book, by the way. And so let me quote: "Having a mission beyond just fulfilling my own life's need or self-satisfaction was one of the key incentives for me to keep going despite difficulties." End quote. So it is clear to me, and I'm sure to many readers and fans, that you're such a messenger. And so what is your mission statement in 2023 after we've been through this pandemic, as a pianist in person. So where are you right now?

I'm actually very grateful that you mentioned that our mission changes over time, and I think it should. It's always— we have to be nimble and be able to change with the time. But I think it didn't change much for me. I would say I'm a classical pianist who strives for a unique connection That word is very important to me, whether that is public speaking or private conversation or teaching piano, recording, or piano performance on stage. I believe that I can make a difference in the world to spread the beauty of classical music one person at a time.

Wow, thank you. That's very well said. By the way, I love the background. Are you tuning in from your home? Home studio?

Yes, yes. This is my place that I practice every single day. You know, as you— I don't know, you can see there's nothing but piano. That even the couch, it doesn't even serve as a couch. So for me, it's that empty space that simplify my environment, um, just, just emphasizing the important thing, which is the piano. Only thing in this space really helps me to focusing on my life.

Wow. And with the beautiful paintings and photos in the background, what an inspiring space. Now, what's the secret to finding out your own mission in life?

I think, you know, first we all have to believe that we all have our own unique reason why we exist in this universe. I think we all have to start from that belief. It may or may not have anything to do with your jobs. So from that belief, I think it's important to know ourselves. What do I like? What are the things that make my heart pumping? What is my tendencies, preferences, personalities? What is important to me? What are the things that I do gain energy by doing, not draining? What makes me in the status of flow, feel like I lose time and time doesn't even exist? Then I will turn that into what I enjoy the most, into what I can do well, collecting necessary skills and training and perspectives that I think we devote ourselves to improve ourselves in anything, we are more invested in that. Not only we get better but also our enjoyment grows. So the next step would be then ask, "How can you help one person in this world?" Not thousands but that one person with that very thing that you love and You're trying to be better. And I think that is your mission, that finding who you are, then in connection with others, then to contribute to the world in the way who you are.

Wow, thank you. Because I think at one point, you know, you practice so much as a pianist and you get stuck, right? And you feel like, what are all these hours of practice? And where am I going to from where I am?

I think we have to remember there's a reason why you love playing piano. And I often— we're so bombarded with the environment of a competitiveness of other things that you forget that, and then focusing on other things. But if you really listen to yourself, the very thing is music. If that very thing is piano, then you can uncover the layering out and then try to be in tune with yourself.

I think discovering that secret at such an early, you know, stage in your life, especially your career, I think that's a big plus. I mean, it's a lot of journaling and a lot of— maybe for some it's a lot of therapy to do. Probably. Yeah. So also you mentioned in the book that you feel deeply connected with your listeners in the very moment of sharing music, and at one point you realize that you want want a concert to be a shared experience, not a passive participation, you know, traditional, you know, you'll come out and bow and then go backstage. So, but when did you start realizing the love of how creatively you want to engage with your audience?

I think when you mentioned, and people actually even don't know me, what I do, would think that I go do such a crazy thing, but I think at the end, I'm just trying to get to core of what I do. It may be just talking about the music, but not about in the historian perspective, but actually what it means to me emotionally, and I might say, you know, I feel like I'm swimming in a pond. There's nobody, but I hear this nature. It's peaceful and quiet, and that might set one piece that I'm about. To play. I'm not talking about when Schumann born in the 18-something-something. And I think what I realized is that I grew up in a, in a very unrealistic setting, which is surrounded by pianists, surrounded by classical musicians. My audience were professors and students who memorized all the Beethoven sonatas by opus number, and they know. But then when I went into the real real actual audience, they don't even care. They don't know anything about it. And then when I play certain pieces and in my head I was thinking like, oh, I made that mistake, or I made a memory mistake there, oh, I could have done that technically better— doesn't make any sense to them. More important that I realize is they want to connect with me. And I often thought about my grandma who has no interest in classical music. She was actually really into this classical Korean song that is called trotto. If I was thinking if I were playing a piece of music for Grandma, I would not start, Grandma, Beethoven, born in 18-something, and then we're talking about, Grandma, I play this piece like, oh my gosh, I love it. Because you know, you know that I will really come into a compassionate and kind but loving way that I want to share this piece of music with my grandma that may not care, but then she also, I believe, wants to connect with me. So then in that place of loving and friendly gesture made a huge difference to the real audience. And I taste that in the outside of academia. You know, of course, when we prepare for the degree recitals, we go out to the retirement center or some other settings to play. And every time I play some other settings, I feel like the audience are different. Like, is this real? Or is this that get a good grade in academia is real? You know, I got really confused because at the end I have to come out of this unrealistic laboratory setting to real world. But then that transition was so huge for me in my mind that I have to change. My world, unfortunately, the world I live in, you know, peer pianists or musicians or even my teachers would not change. But I have to come down from this pedestal of classical music, but come down to the real people and not from the person who knows, but from the person that who enjoyed this so much and can't wait to share in a meaningful way. And then when I tried to do that little by little, then I saw the connection amplify in the, in the degree that I can't even measure in any way. And I think, uh, at the end, they help me to be a better pianist, better messenger, and people actually get it. I mean, it's not like I'm not selling something that is not sellable. I am selling the most sellable content. Chopin, Rachmaninoff, they will die, they will love it, but they just don't know how to get to it. But we know, so I have to find a way to connect it, the dots for them, right?

I totally understand the part of they don't know how to get there because I live in a big city, New York City, and I teach students who are not really the musical connoisseur, right? They're just, you know, doing this. Most of them are doing it for hobby, seriously, but hobby. And then, but they live so close to Carnegie Hall, for example, but they hardly go there because they don't know what to listen to. They don't know where to start. What's the story behind it?

And I think our generation, it, you know, sometimes find the classical, not sometimes, all the time, classical music boring or for that something for grandmas, not for me. And but then when I bring my friends who's not musician come to my living room and like sit and ask them to sit down, like I'm working on this piece, you know, I want to play for you and this means something, this heartache, you know, I don't know what was Brahms was thinking, but this I feel and then I play it and they were like, what is this? Like, I never heard anything like that. I mean, they're the one who listen to pop music, you know, everywhere they go, but then they get it immediately, you know. So I believe that just they need a better context, and we need to give that context as a musician. And I think that context is not that, like, fancy thing. It doesn't have to be, but it's really talking about the core message that we feel as a musician and just talking, but then actually practicing the delivery of it so that you don't really get into the boring lecture recital, but more really like coming from the empathetic mind to share. And I think if you do that, people genuinely connect with that music and then they become a fan of classical classical music. And once they become a fan, then they can go explore chamber music, other whatever, the avant-garde of classical music. But first of most, we need to get them into this corner first. And by doing it, it's more about really nothing fancy but openly talking about why you love this.

Now, your way sounds like a two-way, so it's not just you giving them this performance, but also sounds like you're also receiving something from them. So by engaging with your audiences, how did they change your life or perspectives?

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I think every performance is actually changed my life in a small or big way like that I cannot measure, but I know every performance tremendously difficult, and after every performance I gain something. I'm stronger. And you know, we all the students will say, I practice so much and I did never make that mistake, but in front of someone, so-and-so, I made this mistake and that mistake, and you know what? That imperfection, but yet alive, feeling alive, also all of your senses are like heightened. That's why we do this music live. Music's supposed to be connected through souls to souls and in that space. And I believe that music completes the circle when we play and share life. And I think that's why every time whenever I perform, it's difficult, but that's the function of the music that I give, but then I receive. And, you know, the most beautiful concert or the most— I would not say perfect, but the most rewarding concerts, it's not last mistake concerts, but then the concerts that I felt the most engaged with the music, with myself and the music, and inevitably with audience receive as well. And I think always I feel that I do something completely unimaginable in the concert if I'm open to it, if I'm open for the color to be more might differ in, or in this way, if I try even harder for certain section to be closed differently, if I experiment on stage, then because I am different on stage, the music responds differently. And in that very moment, I gained something that I can't measure in words. So I remember the very first concert in in undergraduate study that I play Chopin fantasy or certain parts of that Chopin, Schumann fantasy, sorry. And that part moved me and I felt like, oh my gosh, so beautiful. Wow. So beautiful, you know, like it's me but not me. That environment, that piano, that people, that hall, everything gave me that another layer layer of life, another dimension of life, which I become a fuel for my life. So I think that it's complete circle. But people thank me all the time, like, I really, you know, appreciate what you do, I loved your concert, that, you know, all of those compliments are wonderful, and I'm— I believe truly appreciate their feedback. But at the end of the day, I gain the most.

Wow, that's very beautiful. So you are an award-winning pianist, recording artist, author, educator, YouTuber, public speaker, and podcaster. And did I miss anything? I mean, we're gonna talk more about your career later, but, you know, honestly, I'm curious to know about your YouTube channel because, you know, I have my YouTube channel with this podcast too, so Your YouTube channel, like, it's like a lifestyle channel as a concert pianist and very entertaining too. And you have over 3,000 subscribers. And so when did you decide to start engaging with your audience on YouTube, and what motivated you to do this?

I think, you know, at some point, I think 2019 or '18, everybody started talking about you should do the YouTube. I don't know, they still I don't talk about it because I'm already in YouTube world. I don't hear it anymore, but everybody was talking about, you got to start YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, you know, but in back in my mind, like maybe, but not for me, you know, in front of camera. Like I've, I definitely had that fear of conflicts within me that I didn't want to be in front of a camera. Definitely there's a challenge that it's against my personality. Actually, podcast fits me better. It's just like talking about, you know, intimate conversation, or writing fits me better. But then camera, oh, something about it was very challenging. But then I was thinking in my head, because it's so challenging, because I felt the conflicts, I had to face it, at least at first. So I tried to I think right before pandemic, 4 or 5 months prior to like quarantine started, I was actually in New York and thought maybe I record something on my camera, I mean my phone, and see how it feels like. So I did it and then surprisingly I found out that I can just talk to the camera like a friend. So then I realized, okay, that's better than I thought. I will try a little bit more. But then pandemic hit. And by the time that pandemic hit, I already produced maybe 10 or 15 videos that I already have cameras and kind of knew how to edit and everything. And by that point, everybody had to transition into digital world. And by that time, I, I was already doing it. And, um, so for me, it was not transition, but something like, oh my gosh, I'm already in it. And I was like a step ahead of others. And then that's where I felt that the power of digital world, that I could connect with people that I can never connect in Peru, Malaysia, the people actually unrealistic to come to my concert in person. But then there were real connection that I could make in online world. The world in a meaningful way. So then I started to look at the world differently, like, okay, the pandemic happens and the world gonna end. What am I gonna do as a performing artist or a pianist? What does that mean? But then I found hope in a digital world that I could still connect through music, through, you know, in the just different platform. And it required me to be resilient a lot more. And I did like weekly live streaming concerts. I think I was the most active during pandemic in the digital world than any, you know, right now I'm a little more struggling because of the time and everything. But I think at that moment, I really felt the power of digital world that I think is in at this point, point for everyone, but especially for musicians existing in a digital world. It's not an option anymore, but a must.

I agree with you. Yes, totally. So to my listeners, I want to officially introduce Ji Eun Kim by— let me just read a little brief bio. So Ji Eun began studying the piano when she was 4, and her love of music propelled her through her undergraduate studies and piano performance in her native Korea. After moving to the United States, she received her Master of Music and Doctor of Music Arts in piano performance with distinction from one of the most prestigious music schools in the United States, the Indiana University Jacobs School of Music. Ji-Yoon has shared her fresh perspective on classical piano performance with audiences at venues such as Carnegie Hall in New York City, Chamber Music Society in San Francisco, and the Stradivari Society in Chicago. During the pandemic lockdown in 2020, she wrote and published her first book, Whenever You're Ready, offering readers a personal glimpse into her life as a concert pianist. This self-help book in a concert-style structure shares wisdom and insights gained from JiYoon's musical experience. JiYoon currently resides in San Diego, where she happily practices her piano daily and maintains a studio full of dedicated piano students and surfs each morning at sunrise. Wow! You are also a surfer among many other things. Is there anything you cannot do? Tell me a little bit about being a surfer. I'm curious.

Well, I don't think there's not many classical musician surfers, to be honest.

Yeah, I've never heard. Yes.

Because that's so against our disciplined mind in many ways because in surfing you have to let go so much. I want to drill so much in surfing. I want to get the trainer and get the perfect form and how to do surf, but then in surfing you just have to wait for nature to give you waves and you have to ride that wave when nature gives you and respond to— it's almost like jazz. You have to always improvise and you have to play like a child But in my mind, I want to practice surfing to be better. So there's a really conflict within me, which is helpful for me to be doing so totally different thing, you know, with the piano, what I do. And in piano, easily I can stay home for days, days without even foot outside. I'll be happily being indoor. But surfing, you have to be in nature. You have to, you know, then you realize that life is about connecting with nature, really brings you to certain place that nothing else can take you. It's like walking nature or hiking. Surfing is the same thing. When you're in the middle of ocean at 5, 6 o'clock in the morning, you see pelicans catching catching fish for the breakfast, or dolphins swim by, and you kind of feel like, you know, everything is fine.

Wow, you're living the life!

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Well, you mentioned that you, uh, in the bio, you know, you started your musical journey at 4, so How do you discover a love for piano?

Um, you know, I think I'm very thankful for my parents to put me in this piano institute when I was 4 years old.

But my—

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My parents, uh, was not a tiger mom or never really pushed me to do anything. They were actually very busy to their business and it was my responsibility to go to institute every single day. They never really told me to do anything, but I remember my first lesson, which was like Five Finger Pattern, whatever. I don't know, I remember what was it, but I can just assume what that was, would be C major or something, up and down. But then my teacher play accompaniment part. You know, but at that moment, I feel like I'm a concert pianist already. I was so in love with the rush of sound coming out of these black and white keys, although I was simply moving my key, you know, up and down. But I felt that the power of the instrument that gave me, and I fell in love with it instantly. And I think my parents not pushing me, but I was I was really drawn into music and I was happy, musical kid, always want to sing. I think I knew right there and then I would be musician. Sometimes I feel like I chose piano, but I often believe the instrument chooses you. So piano chose me, flute choose someone else, trumpet chooses someone else. So piano suits me. And I, you know, I am very biased, but I still believe piano is the queen of the instrument. You know, it can be independent, interdependent, solo, chamber, concerto, intimate yet powerful. There's no other instrument can imitate orchestra, yet most intimate sound that you can create. So I mean, it's a chameleon of the instrument, and I'm so grateful that piano happened to choose me.

So what was your training like since then? You had intensive training, I'm sure, in South Korea. I think you're from Busan? Yeah, yeah. Tell me just briefly about your training. What was it like? Was it really intense?

I think any Asian country, especially Korea, very competitive. No matter what you do, it's competitive. So But I was actually competitiveness-free until I think it's second grade of middle school because I was just going to institute, doing my thing, la-di-la-di-da, and practiced it. But I was not aware of it. But then one day, I think my teacher or my mom told me, "You need to go to art high school in order to major in piano." So like, okay. But in order to do that, you have to audition to art high school. Then you have to change teacher to more serious. Then you really have to commit. And like, okay, I guess I commit. And then I did not realize what that commitment meant, but that commitment meant that I have to survive in the— if I make just simple, like, wrong notes in the Chopin Etude, you are going to place lower ranking in every piano exam in our art high school. Everyone plays similar pieces and then you can direct comparison of, oh, so-and-so plays faster, so-and-so plays more cleanly, you know? So like, that was my environment, art high school, that was very competitive and perfection is required, polished performance. And I guess in that setting, I try really not to be bombarded with the comparison to each other because at that time I was really having a difficult time, personal life, and my parents divorcing. So I could not afford myself to be in that mindset but really survive on my own personal life, which was blessing in disguise at the end because I just— piano was oasis for me, not a place that I have to win. So then afterwards I went in Korea National University is also much cheaper. So I only had two choices: either going to Busan or going to Seoul University, which is the best school in Korea. But I failed to getting into Seoul University, and I thought my career as a pianist is crashed. Definitely, that's a failure, you know. There's no other way around it. I didn't get in. But later I realized that staying in Busan, which is my hometown, it's not that exciting. I went to university from my home, my own home, you know, nothing exciting. But then I was in the full scholarship, so I did not pay any money on undergrad studies. And I feel like I gained that perspective. I hibernated, hibernate and prepare myself for the bigger world, extended studies afterwards. And I could pace myself in non-competitive environment. Again, I think if I went to Seoul University, then to any piano major, whoever there were, they're very competitive. Again, I would really maybe burn out. Who knows? But, you know, as you know, the study in classical music goes for a long time. By the time you go undergraduate, you're already playing piano of 16 years already of your life, right? In 20s, you already been playing 16 years, but then beyond that is life just starting. Even education barely started, but then everybody quit after undergrad even because I'm done with this, you know what I mean? Yeah, I feel like I gained that energy. I actually regenerated during my undergrad just to rethink what I love and do I want this. And at the same time, I was just taking my time, which is not— it's a luxurious thing that I thought it was not fun, you know. At that time, I did not like it. Why I'm in Busan still, you know. I've been here for my life, but I'm still here, you know. But I'm very thankful now.

Then that probably, I don't know, staying there led you to maybe have the energy to think about coming to the United States, no?

You know, I always knew that I have to go outside of Korea. Obviously, classical music is Western music and I need to learn something from outside of Korea. So I always thought of it, but in my head I thought either going to Germany or USA, but I wasn't sure in my undergrad, but I just knew that I would go somewhere outside. And so before making that decision, I lived in Germany for 2 months, and I lived in about a month in America, actually exchange students in undergrad and South Carolina and all places. So I tasted before I make decision. And from that taste of life in Germany and USA, I've learned that in Germany I could tell that, oh, well, Schubert must be walking on this street, or, you know, Beethoven was living, you know, all of that was such— so close to the tradition, yet I was foreigner. For the first time, I felt that I am Asian. What is Asian? I was always, "Yoon, what is Asian?" But I felt that I'm Asian every single day, which I realized that I can't get over that. Hopefully this is better now in, in, you know, Europe and in Germany, but at the time, I really felt that for first time ever in my life that I am not Ji-young, but I'm Asian. And some— that I decided also German was so difficult. I cannot even fake German. And I decided, okay, USA is the way to go. And then I Yahoo, you know, search at that time what is the best university in, in America. And there's Juilliard and Indiana University University in Midwest, and then USC in West Coast. So I auditioned all three, and I actually got in all, but I chose to go to Indiana.

Indiana is a wonderful school. Everybody wants to go there. Yeah. And how was the experience at Indiana University? It was like a really straightforward, all glorious?

Well, yes.

Wow, that's great.

Very fantasy way. It is a fantasy world. That because of that reason, it has pros and cons because you are detached from the real world again. It was really special place. Bloomington is special place in the middle of nowhere, Indiana. This is the one of the best school in the field. Then there's best music, you know, library and the teachers all over the world, you know, Pressler, Stocker, George Scheppach, and all the great pedagogues there. And then everybody is, you know, talking about classical music. The 4 different concert halls has at least 2 or 3 different concert grand Steinways to choose from. I can nerd out about Beethoven sonatas with the friends for all night long and doesn't feel anything different about it. And all about classical music, classical music environment, even for the, you know, people who live locally, very into opera and whatever. So I didn't want to wake up from that dream. I did not realize that was a dream and fantasy. And well, I did it for a while, but I'm glad that I sensed that world even for a time period.

Yeah, yeah, that's, that's great.

Hey friends and listeners, The Piano Pod is in its third season. Thanks to all of you for watching or listening to every episode since the launch in 2020. I started this show with a simple question I have had in mind for quite some time, which is: how can we as classical pianists and music educators present the beautiful tradition of classical music to the 21st century audience in a fun, contemporary, and engaging way. It's been an incredible journey for the last 3 years, and I love what I do through this podcast, providing a platform for pianists and educators to think and discuss freely without any judgment about how we can keep the classical music industry thriving and relevant in this constantly and rapidly changing world. Now more than ever, I need your financial support so that I can continue my work by bringing you highly valuable content biweekly by interviewing groundbreakers in the industry. Your support will go directly to all the costs of The Piano Pod with Yukimi Song, such as yearly subscription to the podcasting platform, software I use for high-quality recording sessions, and tech gears, as well as all the hours I spend researching and audio/video editing. You can make one-time donation or monthly pledge by clicking the PayPal link in the show notes or go to The Piano Pod's website at thepianopod.com. As a thank you, you will receive The Piano Pod's fun logo sticker in the mail. So please support my show today and don't forget to subscribe to my channel, continue listening, and tell your friends and colleagues about The Piano Pod. Let's continue with this episode.

Tell us about what you experienced after you graduated from, you know, Indiana University. Was it all glorious, like All the job lined up and gigs lined up, and then with the red carpet. Is that what it is? I wish.

I thought— I never actually thought about it, which is, which is a very nice—

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Naive thinking. But I didn't even think that is naive because my teacher even didn't mention it. My teacher was all about about how to make this Chopin better, how to phrase Bach better, all of those things. And we never talked about the world beyond my study. And I'm thankful for that, to live in the fantasy world so that I can really be my own artist in that time and dive deep into the music. But yet I was so detached and I thought maybe at some point that something will work out. I am doctor. But then when I get the certificate of Dr. Kim, only thing different was that people can call me doctor. But then same morning, there's some same sun goes up, and yesterday, today, it's the same. Nothing changed. Knock on my door, do you want this tour to the world? You know, the job application for, you know, after they become a doctor, I, I think I thought maybe professor is very secure track, you know, and I really thought that that's what I wanted or that's what I should pursue and that's safe and maybe that was a dream of my mom, I don't know. So I pursued without thinking much, but then rejection after rejection, I was like, I felt so small that just with my resume, Like, I studied so much, but then that's become just one line. She got a doctorate degree in Yale University.

That's it. That's it.

Like, what?

I did so much. I'm more diverse person than just one line. But how could I share that, you know? But then I pursue and pursue. I don't know how long. I think it was after that I actually went back to school to study piano pedagogy in master's degree. By that time, people thought I was crazy to go back to school, but it was a genuine curiosity of how I could teach better because I wanted to teach 4-year-olds as well as the most advanced Chopin pieces. But I could do that advanced pieces, but I had no idea how to— yes, we'll start the 4-year-old, right? That gap was so much, and I— it bothered me so much. So in the meantime, when I'm figuring out my life, let me get to learn about this gap because I wanted to be a better teacher. So in the meantime, I was applying, you know, everywhere. I'm hoping that maybe this degree will help me to get to another job. Like, what else do you need? I get, you know, doctorate and then another degree in pedagogy. I'm like, I'm a dynamo in terms of degree can go. But then still no, you know. And then the final rejection that I got was so close. I was final 3. And that by that point, I was thinking like, I got this, I've got this. They should want me, like, I am the one for you, you know. But then I still didn't get it. And that was a hard no, that was hard to take at that time. It was in San Diego, you know, one of the university. And that time though, because the no was so close, but yet still no was no. At the end, and I started to think, wait a second, do I even want to be a professor? I don't want to be in some foreign land, start from that letter up. For what?

You know?

And I started to really question my motivation of becoming a professor. And then more I searched for it, then I actually like the financial security comes with it, not the job itself. I really like the idea of it. But I really would hate to teach Piano 101 for every year. I would hate to write emails after emails, you know, committee members and all of those job follows that like I was suffocating. It's not actually academia, although I was there academia all my life, but I hate it. I hate the structure. So then I like, you know, I am gonna close the door completely. Completely, not just adjunct to hoping that I get into some lecture position. None of that. I'm just gonna— no. Would that be okay? And I, I thought, you know, it sounds fairly miserable for me, for my, my personality, to stuck in the somewhere just for what, you know? Um, so for then, then I was started to think, okay, now Still jobless, still like nothing. And from there I started my own business of teaching studio from the knowledge that I gained from pedagogy classes and all things. And I took it as a very serious business. And I opened Dr. Kim Piano Academy in the thinking that I'm only going to take 5 students because I want to do something else too. But I started very legit. This business model and policies and everything. And that was one channel. But then in my mind, I want to now devote myself as a pianist. How can I do that? And that's one of the way I thought as a first step. One of first step is that I want to create an album. I wanted to, always wanted to have an album. But how one starts album? Is it the Deutsche Grammophon is have to contact me? How you supposed to contact me? But they didn't, you know? So then, like, I want to start, I want to make album. I have idea. I wanted to create an album, that collection of all my dear friends, that one of the dearest to my heart, so that I could play every concert as encore, always. Like, among all of my studies, those pieces always come weaving into my life, come and go. So I have maybe 12 pieces of those and I want to collect it and I called it as a 10 More Minutes because it's— it represents for me the longing, longing for not 10 years, 10 days, but 10 more minutes. And with this pieces that I always wanted to long for more. And so I wanted to present this idea to the world and that was also mind-boggling idea. Idea, like, you know, I'm not starving to death, but why I'm asking for money for others to, you know. So it was very uncomfortable. I was really uncomfortable place to ask for money for my album. But I decided I am an artist, that I'm contributing with what I can do to create this. It's not for me, but to create a beauty into the world. And people donate to the art they can donate to the symphony or this organization, they can contribute to my project too. So I was kind of like started to like mentally train myself and started to talk about it, talk to the world that I have this idea. It would be wonderful if you can be part of it. Join me, you know, join me to experience this process. And I did that through Kickstarter. That was $30,000 pledge. And that felt like, you know, a lot of money, you know, and who could do that? And even talking to my friends was difficult. Like, it's like, oh, you know, I have some project, but I don't know if you can do it. You know, I was very shy about it. But the more and more I talk about it and I feel like it's okay, you know, you don't have to even just give me like a go for it. You're doing great. That is enough too. Then it became successful. It's miracle itself. I mean, there's many miracles, but one of those are that kind of miracle that because I do my best, but I'm not in control over that outcome, but the outcome was successful. So I'm thankful, but I made that move. I was vulnerably in front of people that wanted, and the interesting thing was that people donate even a dollar for this album felt like it's their project. Project became everybody's project, and it felt like this is becoming a playground with so many people together. I shared that, oh, now I'm in New York recording this project, wish me luck. Oh, I just, you know, now I'm doing, you know, cover the photography, you know, they were there every step of this album and They become like faithful lifelong fans. And then, you know, in the similar time frame, about that time, one of my friends came to Carnegie Hall and went to Michiko Uchida's concert and gave me this postcard and asked Michiko Uchida and say, can you write it, "Why not?" on top of the postcard? And she said, "Why not?" And then it's like, yes, yes, please, why not for my friend who's pianist? And so she So she gave me that postcard signed by Mitsuko Chida and saying, "Why not?" And until that time, Carnegie Hall is something like so far away. When, you know, like everybody's like, "Oh, when are you gonna play Carnegie Hall? Hahaha." Like, you know, it's more like a joke. It's, it'll be nice, but then it's so far, you know, why, how, or do I even need it? You know, I justify myself. And then when I look at that postcard, postcard, I felt like, why not? Yeah, why not? I mean, it's not like I've done worse, you know, it's just another concert.

But how?

I was genuinely curious. So I called the next morning at Carnegie Hall booking office and I called 9 o'clock when they just opened the office and I called and then someone get up, get the phone like immediately, just like a New Yorker, you know? And they, "Hello, Carnegie Hall booking office." And I said, "You know, you don't know me, but I am classical pianist. I'm just wondering how can one play in Carnegie Hall?" And when I said that word, I felt like how ridiculous it might sound. At the same time, how many calls this person gets a day? You know, all of those above. And then he was talking about a long list of things. That what you need. You need a presenter, you need the credentials, so you need to like, you know, like whatever that was. It was like a long 10 minutes of she told me what I might need it. And then I hang up, and when I hang up and looking at the wall and thinking, like at that very moment I felt that there's some light turn on. Oh, this is not fantasy, there's steps. "If I follow the steps, I play Carnegie Hall." Just like that, right? It's not just like in La La Land. So then I was thinking like, what was the steps that she mentioned? Like, what do I need? And I made phone calls, whatever that I needed. And, you know, to make a long story short, I was in the Carnegie Hall debut concert with the people who donated so much. In 10 More Minutes Kickstarter project from Indiana, from San Diego, from San Francisco. They wanted to fly.

Oh my goodness.

Trying to get home. I have no connection in New York. I don't know anybody, but it was sold out. People wanted to be there. And then in the backstage, I could hear the chatter noise, and I knew that became sold out on the day. I knew, and I felt like Who am I to deserve this love? Who deserves this? And it felt like it's not my life. It's for them. It's for them. I need to give 1000% to give back what they gave me. And when I went on onto the stage, as always, there's a microphone, no program. People are very confused. What is she gonna play? And then I get onto the stage and on the microphone and said, "Welcome to my dream." And that moment was dreamlike, but it was reality, but it felt like a dream. And that's how I feel like my life has been. Yes, I made a phone call. Yes, I put the idea into the world about Kickstarter, my album, But then when I did that, there's another force carried me. Then I go and I go, but the first step was always me. The first vulnerable, courageous move was always me. But then when I did vulnerably open myself, expose myself, there are people that carried me. And that's, that's a magic. That's the, the part that I can't do it on my own.

Beautiful. What a beautiful story. And you're coming to New York again in June, right? Yes.

Yes.

We're going to talk. Yeah, that's great. We're going to talk more about it later, but that's so amazing. Yes. Maybe I need to get a ticket and come and see you.

Thanks for listening to part 1 of this episode with Dr. Ji Eun Kim. As briefly mentioned during the show, Ji Eun is performing at Carnegie Hall in June June 2023. The tickets are available and selling quickly, so grab your seats now on Carnegie Hall's website, which I listed in the show notes. Tune in next Tuesday, March 21st, at 8 PM Eastern for the second half of this fun episode with JiYoon. Please don't forget to rate and review my show wherever you listen to your podcast.

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