2016 Campaign - Lessons on Communication

Speaking with TJ Walker, the show where we dissect how and what world class leaders communicate. So it turns out I've been wrong. For the last 32 years, I've been wrong about how to communicate successfully in the media. The 2016 presidential campaign has taught us all a few new lessons. So let's examine what those lessons are. For starters, if you want to be a successful candidate and do extremely well with voters and communicate your message, here are the rules I believe now apply to candidates. Number one, lie. Lie about everything. Especially lie about big things. Lie about everything from your career, your net worth, to what your opponents do. Just lie. Lie. The bigger the better. Now, when you are caught lying, especially if someone shows you a videotape directly contradicting yourself, proving that you've lied, simply ignore it and double down and say that your opponent is the biggest liar of all time. If you keep saying your opponent is a liar, then you're going to fool at least half the people. So whatever it is, you do tell bigger lies than other politicians, certainly than your opponent. And spend twice as much time telling people that your opponent is a bigger liar. Next big rule. Try to use as much profanity as possible. Be as coarse and as obnoxious as possible. Next big rule for communicating successfully, at least in American politics. Try to be as offensive as possible. Ask yourself, what would a mature, responsible person do and say who actually cared about other people, cared about other people's feelings, had empathy, and then do and say the exact opposite. Do that repeatedly. There was the old episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza found that whenever he did the opposite of his natural instinct, he. He actually did much better in social situations and when dealing with women. Well, the same is now in effect with American politics. If you think that saying something would be seen as so obnoxious, such a gaffe, so ridiculous, so disqualifying, then whatever you do, say that thing, because we now know voters will reward you. Now, if you're going to say something positive, be upbeat, optimistic about something. Make sure it's only about yourself, maybe a family member. Whatever you do, don't say anything good about the country or your policies. Just say it about yourself. Spend 95% of your time saying how everybody else you're running against, everyone in the political system, anyone you've ever dealt with, is corrupt, a moron, a stupid, an idiot, a fool, a jerk. And make sure that anytime you describe an opponent or a policy of the opponent, you use tremendous hyperbole and say that this is the worst person in the history of the world, the worst person to ever hold public office, the worst person to ever run for office. Whatever you do, don't use nuance, don't use shades of gray. Everyone is either for you or against you. If someone's running against you, they are the enemy. They are evil. They are not an actual legitimate opponent. They're not an actual adversary. They are a corrupt, evil, monstrous criminal. And the only thing they deserve is prison. Now, when you're talking with various elements of the electorate, make sure several things happen. For starters, identify who who your base is. If your base happens to be white, straight, Christians, then whatever you do, make sure you say things that are incredibly nasty, vindictive, vicious and disparaging about anybody who isn't, for example, a white, Christian, conservative, heterosexual. Make so if, for example, the topic comes up of Muslims, say that you want to ban them from the country. Don't worry about legal niceties or due process. That's silly baby stuff, that's for sissies. That's not going to get you elected. So by all means, feel free to demagogue about people based on their religion, their color. If, for example, your group is the white group, then act in horror if somebody, black or brown, supports you or even shows up your rail. In fact, assume that person is a criminal or disruptor or someone there who is illegitimate, who shouldn't be there. Now if somebody is in any way physically or mentally impaired, for goodness sake, don't use namby pampy terms like impaired, call them retarded, act out, make fun of them, mock them, ridicule them. And perhaps the number one principle for success in the media with voters in America today, whatever you do, make sure that every single discussion you have about women is about their looks, their sexual appeal, their sexual attractiveness, their ability to satisfy you sexually or not. So if somebody's a dog, make sure to call her a dog. Please, please rate a woman On a 1 to 10 scale. That would be extremely helpful to voters because they need to know that. And if somebody's only a 5, no inflation here, no extra points making them a 7 or 8, they're 5. And goodness knows you don't want someone who's a 5 in a position where you have to see them a lot. You know, a high profile position, a public office, and let people know who's boss. They like a strong, confident figure. So let them know that if you're around and you, you see a woman who's attract, I mean purely women who are 8 or above. If you find a woman attractive, well, by all means, grab her anywhere you want, preferably some region of the genitals. Because, hey, you're a macho, authoritative figure. You get to do what you want. And hey, people respect that. They love that. Now, when it comes to personal grooming, again, make sure you don't follow any of the old rules. Don't do anything that would seem distinguished, conservative, traditional. Instead, paint your face orange or some other color, some color that isn't found in nature. Also, if your hair is less than perfect, just grow one or two or three or five hairs about 10 or 20ft long and put about three cans of hairspray on it every day and shellac it back in a bizarre comb over. Because of course it used to be that that would make you an object of ridicule, but today the rules are all different. And that's what you're supposed to do. That's what voters want. That's what resonates in the media. That makes you really cool. To have an elaborate, bizarre comb over that takes you maybe three hours a day and you're getting up at four in the morning to start the whole process of blow drying it and spraying it and sculpting it. But hey, if you're probably up at 4am Anyway, because you're a hard worker and that hard work consists of sending tweets, calling beauty pageants fat, Miss Piggy stupid, calling people, calling lots of people stupid, calling lots of people idiots. So you've got to constantly tweet, and they better be wildly, wildly insulting, preferably if you're dealing with any sort of religious, ethnic minority or women. You need to make the tweets wildly degrading and conform to some type of stereotype. So folks, these are the new rules. I apologize for giving you rules in the past that are in some ways counter to that, but these are the new rules that work for politicians in America. This is what the media. If you do these things, believe me, the media will give you a lot of attention, a lot of airtime, bigly, they'll give you 10 times as much attention as an opponent who actually talks about policy. By the way, we haven't talked about policy. Whatever you do, don't try to learn a policy. Don't put out policy papers, position papers, that is for losers. Just say whatever's on the top of your mind, whatever comes into your head. If it's not a coherent policy, too bad. Only loser media types and dweebs and nerds will criticize you for that. And those people are losers. And they're probably uglies. They're probably not more than a 5 on a 1 to 10 scale. So don't worry about having a sustained policy. In fact, if every single day you come up with a policy that is completely contradictory with the policies you advocated yesterday, doesn't matter. Nobody pays attention. Nobody will remember it. That's the beauty of the new media world in 2016 and beyond. You don't have to be coherent. You certainly don't need to know more than about 20 seconds worth of any policy schmolicy. It's about putting on a good show. It's about attacking your opponent so forcefully that people just chuckle and say, well, that guy will say anything. Isn't that amusing, boy? Isn't he? Isn't he great tv? So forget the policy. Forget such. Whatever you do, don't read a book about public policy. That would be an absurd waste of your time. Instead, think of new Burns. Think of new ways of ridiculing your opponents. And by all means, make sure you have a snappy catchphrase and a nickname for everyone you deal with. Every political opponent, anyone in the media. Alliteration is nice. Hi, Larry the Loser. Hi Doggy Dorothy. Make sure it's personal, it's vindictive, and it's something that any second grader who's ever been on a playground, on the giving or the receiving end of a bully would instantly recognize. That's where you need to spend your time is coming up with new nicknames, new slams, New Burns. I'm TJ Walker. I hope you found these tips helpful should you decide to run for public office and communicate your message to the media. Thanks for listening to speaking with T.J. walker.