Ep 165 What if You are Speaking and Absolutely Have to Go to The Bathroom June 13, 2016

What do you do if you're in the process of giving a presentation and nature calls.

Speaking the show about effective speaking in public to the media, at work and in Life. Speaking with T.J. walker.

This is perhaps an indelicate issue, but it's an important issue. And it is in fact, an issue that speakers, presenters, newscasters face from time to time. Now this question comes from Dale Johns, one of our regular viewers and listeners. He writes in D.J. love your show. I thought I'd ask a question that's been on my mind related to current events. For one thing, you mentioned on episode 94 of your show that you should drink lots of water when speaking to avoid losing your voice. True. Glad you're listening and watching the show regularly. And then Dale points out, I then saw this story he's linking to a story about a poor guy who might lose his job as a reporter because he was doing a story in a neighborhood, had been apparently in the van reporting all day. And the individual's name was Jonathan Lowe. He's a reporter for kpho. He was arrested for defecating in someone's front lawn. Now, his defense was that he had been out there for a long, long time. He was in a van, didn't know what to do, went into some bushes, and apparently a neighbor saw him, called the police. This has some serious implications. He was fined 2004 or he faces a fine of $2,500 or six months in jail. Could lose his job because he was about to make a presentation on air and didn't know what else to do. So this is a very serious situation, Dale continues to write. Undoubtedly, many of us will end up in situations where we have to speak outside and there will be no bathrooms available if we're following your advice and drinking lots of water, or have an urgent need to discharge fecal matter due to uncontrollable circumstances. Do you feel it's better to just duck behind a tree or building to defecate and risk the humiliation and firing that this young man may face? Or is it better to have an accident in your pants and keep your job but face utter humiliation and lose face with your audience? I'm still young, dale writes, obviously not referring to me, and I don't, by the way, Quick public speaking tip, folks. I just violated one of my cardinal rules. I had my cell phone on and I didn't have the sound off. Therefore a little beep just occurred, thus annoying you. But I'm going to use it as a learning moment. I've now turned my cell phone off so that if I have other reminders or the phone calls, it doesn't disturb this podcast. So Dale continues to write. I'm still young and don't have too many problems with things like this, but as we age, this becomes a more significant problem. Men like Larry King, for example, probably have weaker enlarged prostates that demand release at more frequent intervals, although someone as distinguished as him would likely not face such inhospitable conditions. Please advise on this unpopular but probably not uncommon dilemma. So, Dale, I do want to thank you. Most people just figure out, let's not talk about this. Well, this is the one place in the entire world on the Internet, online, YouTube, elsewhere, where we can go into minute detail on issues like this that do affect public speaking. I'll give you my response in just a moment.

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Okay, so Dale, you're absolutely correct. I do advise drinking water regularly when you're giving speeches, presentations, talks, so your voice doesn't dry out. But certainly if you're going to be outside or in a situation where you are not going to be around a bathroom or a toilet for a long time, it can present thorny issues. You certainly do not want to get arrested, as this poor reporter did at some point. Part of being an adult and a grown up is making plans for things like this and also not being afraid to do varying embarrassing situations. The least embarrassing. Now, the neighbor who called in to the police, this reporter said, if the reporter had just rung my doorbell and asked to use my bathroom, I would have let him. I think that would be, in hindsight, the obvious solution for this person. Just ring the doorbell, tell people, may I use I'm here on the story, may I use your restroom? And maybe you have to go to two or three doors, two or three homes, but that's better than being arrested and being the source of an international news story where people are kind of either making fun of you or feeling sorry for you. Part of what I believe to be any proper checklist for any speaker is five minutes or so before you're about to speak, present, talk, go on a talk show, give a lecture, go to the bathroom whether you feel like you really need to or not, just to make sure. Because certainly if you're presenting for a long time, 60 minute speech, 30 minute Q& A session, that can be a long time. And you don't want to put yourself in a place where you're uncomfortable and think back to the days of Lincoln Douglas debates where Lincoln would give a two hour speech. You don't want to have to be thinking about issues like this when you're speaking for two hours. Now a little bit of trivia here for some senators who are giving a Filibuster speaking for 24 hours, they have been known to put a catheter on so that they can effectively relieve themselves while still standing and giving presentation. I certainly don't recommend that on a regular basis because few of us really have to speak for 24 straight hours. There's like a lot of things in life, there is a balancing line where you've got to keep yourself properly lubricated, your vocal cords and that means drinking plenty of water. I do recommend water, basically room temperature water is best, not the end of the world if you want to use ice. But that is better for you than soft drinks, carbonated beverages or beverages with milk in it, for example. But you've got to strike a fine line and a balance and you have to think, you have to plan in advance. Now television reporters are in a difficult situation sometimes because if they're at, let's say they're at a stakeout and they're hounding some politician getting caught in some scandal, it's a little bit awkward to knock on someone's door and say, hello, Governor Spitzer, I'm here to destroy your life and ruin you and get you run out of office and impeached. Oh, may I come in and use your bathroom? I certainly understand that is an uncomfortable situation and a reporter would not feel very good doing that. Knock on someone else's door, ask the camera person or some other reporter to fill into you and run down the street to a Starbucks. If you're truly way, way out in the woods somewhere, maybe it won't matter and you're a lot less likely to be arrested. But you've got to think of all of these things an issue because here's the problem for this, this port young man. He's a 33 year old reporter named Mr. Lowe, Jonathan Lowe. And unfortunately he's now known for publicly defecating, more so than any story he's ever covered in his 10 year career. And it's a bit sad. He may be an excellent reporter, he may be a first rate citizen, but number one, perhaps made the wrong decision at a moment of weakness and number two, just got unlucky enough to get caught. The problem these days is I think you have to assume anything you do outside your own Home. And even then with nanny cams and things like that, that can be not 100%, but anything you do outside your house, you have to assume that there's a video camera, a surveillance camera on you. And you have to ask yourself, would you be completely happy if the entire world saw what you're doing? And if the answer is not yes, you've got to do something else. Now, Dale asked the very, very awkward question, but I'm glad he brought it up. This is exactly the forum for it. What's better? To defecate in public if you find yourself in emergency, or to essentially soil yourself, have that visible? That's a very, very tough situation because that too will be discussed and picked apart. Most famously, I believe this was a couple of years ago and I did a commentary on it at the time on another YouTube channel. The President of Colombia was giving a speech. Apparently he had recently recovered from prostate cancer and surgery and he visibly wet himself while giving the speech. And even though he's a good speech maker and gave a very powerful speech, the only thing anyone talked about around the world was what happened to him and the visible display. So I can't in good conscience recommend that either. The worst of all possible situations would be if you are in the middle of a presentation, a speech, especially it's in front of a large group. Let's say you're booked to speak for 60 minutes and 10 minutes in, you realize that you have an absolute emergency. Thankfully, that has not happened to me yet, but it's come close. What I would recommend is, without a lot of apology and calling attention to it, I would say to the audience, we are now going to take a brief 60 second, let's say 120 second respite, a two minute intermission. I want to give everyone an opportunity to stand up and stretch. I see you've been sitting here for quite some time. I will be right back. In two minutes, run to the restroom, come back and continue going as if nothing happened. I believe that is the best possible way to do that. Don't spend a lot of time, don't apologize. Famously, during the 2016 campaign, Hillary Clinton was on a debate, they had a commercial break and she did not get back from the restroom in time before they started again and she was seen walking out. A lot of people had to talk about that. Donald Trump ridiculed her for it, but she just kept on going, didn't apologize and talk about it excessively. And for most people it was a non issue. So that would be my advice. Dale thanks so much for your question and particularly not being too embarrassed. It's not the most pleasant topics. I realize this folks, but if you're going to know about every aspect of presenting and to plan and think about it and be prepared, we got to think about this stuff too. So thanks again Dale. I do appreciate it as always any of your questions, no matter how esoteric or seemingly unpleasant. If it relates to presenting, speaking to the media, speaking during time of crisis, I will deal with the issue right here. As always, may all of your presentations in life be a huge success. I'm TJ Walker. Hope to spend time with you tomorrow.

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