Ep 206 Use Wit to Trump Bullies July 24, 2016

So what's the best way to respond to a bully attacking you?

Speaking the show about effective speaking in public, to the media, at work and in life. Speaking with TJ Walker.

So what is the best way to respond to a bully? One way, and it's often underutilized, is wit use, sophisticated humor, humor that's going to make people think. Now, folks, I try not to make this a political show because that instantly polarizes people. And if I say something against one person's politician, they'll assume everything I ever say is wrong. But I had to bring this up. And this is coming directly from the news, the headlines of June 2016. But I think it's applicable whether you're watching this or listening to this 5, 10, 20 years from now. So here's the backstory. George Will, the longtime conservative columnist, someone who's been a Republican and a conservative since 1964, announced that he was leaving the Republican Party. He's hardly alone. Many conservatives are doing that this year because they do not think that the party's nominee is a conservative. So when that came out, the party's nominee, and in order to try to be fair and a little more or a little less polarized, I'm not even going to mention his name. But the party's nominee, the presumptive nominee, then put out a series of tweets saying, basically, George Will is a big dummy. George Will. People think he's smart because of his little glasses. George Will's best days are behind him. Essentially sort of schoolyard taunts that a sixth grader would use to pick on a weaker, smaller, fourth grader. That level stuff. George Will, who is a commentator for Fox News, was asked about this by Chris Wallace this past Sunday. And folks, I'm not a huge George Will fan, but I have to give him credit. Here's what he said regarding the Republican nominee who had attacked him. He said, he has an advantage on me because he can say everything he knows about any subject in 140 characters and I can't. So I heard that and I thought for a second, like, oh, yeah, okay, that is a good burn, George Will. That is a good snarl. And folks, that is witness. Regardless of whether you're a conservative, a liberal, left wing, right wing, it's a great way of diffusing things because I think anyone who saw the exchange, who saw the sort of blunt, your little glasses don't make you look smart from the Republican nominee and heard this response, this retort from George Will, regardless of your politics, regardless of your ideology, again, liberals don't particularly like George Will. Regardless of your persuasion, we think you know what, George Will won that round. More in a moment.

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So, folks, those of you listening can't see me. Those of you watching this program see I have a glass of water right here. This is an underused tool for a lot of speakers because there's nothing worse than getting up to speak all of a sudden, finding your throat dry and sort of choking it out, or looking around for water. There's nothing wrong with drinking water when you are presenting. Now, if you're going on a short TV interview, five minutes or less, you shouldn't have to be grabbing it. You don't want to look like Marco Rubio did back in about 2013 or so when he was giving the response to the State of the Union address and he awkwardly lunged across the screen to get a bottle of water. But if you are thirsty, just stop, pause, have a little drink, put it down. I do not recommend taking the top off of a bottle of water and putting it back on each time. It causes way too much attention. It's distracting, and it's just too much work. If you're going to need to drink it again, you got to do all that twisting. The other thing is, while it doesn't bother me, some people are offended. It offends their sensibilities to see a grown man or woman drinking out of a bottle. So you're always better off with a glass. Now, those of you watching can see that I have lots and lots of big ice cubes in this. The reason for that is it's a very warm day. It's summer in Long island, and I have to turn the air conditioning off in the studio while I'm recording because I don't want the sound to be messed up. So it's rather warm in here. So to cool myself off, I'm drinking from this. Now, I'm able to drink this when the opening credits are playing or during an ad or during closing credits. So you're typically not seeing this, but if you're up on stage and you are thirsty, you're talking for 20 minutes, maybe even an hour. Nothing wrong with it. You'll often see many skilled comedians at comedy clubs stopping to take a drink. Nothing wrong with that. Here's the other thing they're doing that split second when they put the glass down or their bottle of water down, they're often looking at their notes to see where do they want to go next. Now, I've seen even Broadway performers use this trick. I've seen Bill Maher, the famed comedian and HBO star on Broadway in a packed house with a thousand plus people there drinking water during one of his shows and putting it down. Now, it is true you're not going to see somebody during Les Mis or Phantom of the Opera drinking water, but they're also not talking. Typically for any one long stretch, there's different scenes. They go back, their costume change is involved. There's time for them to drink backstage. Even if you don't normally drink a lot of water all day long, when you're speaking in front of people, you're going to get thirstier because you're speaking a little louder. You're projecting. When you speak louder, you're pushing more air over your vocal cords, your mouth, your tongue, your lips. When you push more air out, you're drying them out and that's going to make you thirstier. So you need to keep your vocal cords well lubricated. Now, one other issue with the ice. I do not recommend all things being equal using ice because it can cause contraction. It can tighten up your vocal cords. I make the decision today that it's a warm room. I'd rather get the benefit of of cooling myself down. And frankly, I'm just not worried about this causing constriction with my throat if it did happen. I'm recording these so I could always hit delete and just start over if for some reason it choked up. The thing about water is don't act embarrassed. Don't meekly drink it and act like no one's watching it. Don't be too quick. Try not to spill it. People will remember that. But just occasionally, every so often, you're thirsty, have a little sip, put it down and keep on talking. Remember those tips and you will be in good shape. More in a moment.

To hire TJ Walker as a keynote speaker or workshop leader for your next conference call 212-764-4955.

Folks, a bit of a milestone this week. We've now done more than 200 episodes of this show. The audience continues to grow. I have to contest. I'm enjoying this, having a lot of fun. I hope you are too. I want to thank those of you who are regular listeners and viewers. Some of you have told me that you just start your day by listening to this podcast because it's an easy thing to do. You've got a 30 minute drive to work. You're looking for something that isn't just the mindless chatter of the Z100 zoo crew, and you find information tips from here useful. I want to thank you, but I also want to ask you to do something you're hearing Most of the content from this show comes from listeners and viewers like you. Now, don't worry, this isn't a pledge drive. I'm not going to ask you to pull out your credit card or your checkbook and send me money. What I do want you to do is to send me your questions. Anything to do with speaking with communication, PowerPoint presentations, speaking during a time of crisis. I want you to send me your questions because that's what this show is all about. I've been very happy with the interesting, intriguing questions, some of them earlier this week regarding the bodily noises that can come out during his speech. So nothing is off limits here, folks. If I think you're asking a question that is sincere, that other people could benefit from that, deal with real life issues, I'll answer them, even if it's an unpleasant subject. And I will give you my honest opinion. So please don't just be a lurker. Listening and Viewing Although I'm happy for you to do lot of listening and viewing, think of any questions you want because this is your show. This is not me giving my political opinions on the world or trying to brainwash you into my particular political ideology or sell you my T shirts. It's a show that's just about answering your questions on spoken communication. So please send me your questions. I'm TJ Walker. As always, may all of your presentations in life be a huge success.

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