Ep 213 How to Dodge Tough Questions from the Audience July 31, 2016

How do you avoid the awkward or tough question from an audience member.

Speaking the show about effective speaking in public to the media at work and in life? Speaking with TJ Walker.

Joe writes in with the following comments and question. He's a regular viewer of the program on YouTube. Hi TJ I've received more value than expected from you. My humble appreciation. Well, thanks for watching. Joe. I have a question. What is or are the ways to dodge or evade an awkward and unknown question from audience or people you're talking to and steer them back to your own topic? Thanks in advance, Joe. This does concern people, worry people because they're worried about, oh, I want to control things. What if someone asks me a tough question I don't like? What am I going to do? For starters, I'd recommend just calm down. Because questions at some level are easy. You either know the answer or you don't. If you don't know, don't be afraid to say I don't know. If you do know, answer the question. Now. Let's say it's an awkward question involving a lawsuit that could be highly damaging to your organization. Rather than say something, oh, I'm not allowed to comment? No comment. Or as you know, it's in the legal process, I can't comment. That seems very defensive and negative. A lot of the skill in handling tough questions isn't so much what you say, but you're just your demeanor and how you come across. If you act defensive, I believe you're already making mistakes. You don't ever want to act defensive. You want to come across as open and as positive as you can be. So in the case of something being tied up in litigation and you're legally not allowed to talk about it, you could say something like, as some of you know and others might not, that's currently in litigation in front of the courts. Once it's concluded and we get the okay, I'd be more than happy to talk to you about that at length and just seem positive, seem upbeat. Let people know you're happy to talk about it when you can talk about it, as opposed to saying, I can't talk about it. Now. General rule of thumb is focus on what you can do rather than what you can't do. Focus on what you can say rather than what you can't say. So that's one particular example. Another example is when someone asks you something, there's no legal reason why you can't talk about it. It's just a very unpleasant subject, or it's harshly negative and you do want to evade it. Here's the thing about evading questions from people when others are watching is they are trying to size you up and think, is TJ can answer this question, Is he going to do a little dance and evade it and avoid it? What you want to do is to answer the question at some level so that it doesn't seem like an evasion to everyone else in the audience. Now, there may be someone who just doesn't like you, has a particular axe to grind, isn't really asking a question. They're just trying to put you on the spot to humiliate. Let's say I'm a candidate for political office and someone says, tj, don't you feel guilty and ashamed about taking money from campaign contributors who obviously want special breaks? And you're going to have to stiff the taxpayers to give these people what they want, otherwise they wouldn't give money to you, right? Anyone who's ever run for public office has probably heard a question like that. You do want to answer the question. You don't want to tell the person they have to leave. It's a perfectly legitimate question, although worded in a way that's harshly confrontational and negative. But you've got to answer it on your own terms. So so much of getting good at this is in real time listening to the question carefully and then rewriting the question. This applies to questions from reporters as well as people at a public forum. You need to rewrite the question to neutralize it, to make it an easy question. You can't completely ignore the question and say what you want to say you've got, because then that's going to strike people as innovation. You have to rewrite it. So if someone basically says, aren't you this horrible prostitute for taking money from big companies to fund your campaign? Because you're going to have to really harm voters once you're in office. Just rewrite the question to tell me about how you're funding your campaign. Now, it's an easy question. Now it is a neutral question. Now you can answer it with, and I'm not running for office, nor am I planning on it. But you could say something like, I am proud of the fact that my campaign has generated contributions from a lot of individuals, friends I've known my whole life, who trust me, also new people who are attracted to campaign. And I think the reason you're seeing individuals, small companies, large companies, and people associated with all of those support my campaign and give checks could be as little as a dollar, could be $2700 is they share my vision of blank whatever jurisdiction I'm running for and they want to see me succeed in and then lay out my specific platform. And of course you could always say, would I love to be able to run and not have to spend any time raising money? Sure. But I work in the political system that we're in right now. There is no public financing. I have to do this on my own. And by the way, I very much appreciate the contribution from you. And I assure you what you'd get back in return is good government. Something like that might even create a chuckle. Is that a perfect answer? No. But the point is, what I'm trying to do is show a process whereby you listen carefully. You don't listen until you hear something negative and sort of grit your teeth and tell the person they're biased. You listen carefully in a somewhat detached manner, and then you rewrite the question in your own mind to neutralize it. And the hard part is some people go too far and they start talking in a way where people don't see any connection to the question coming in the answer. And then people have a negative view of you. That's a typical politician who dodged questions More tips in just a moment.

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Here's a question that came from Eric, one of our Regular viewers on YouTube platform Eric writes in TJ what's the best thing to eat for breakfast before a media interview or a speech? I have to confess, that's something. That's not something I've given a lot of thought to because I eat breakfast every day. In fact, I can't think of a single time in my 53 years that I've ever not had breakfast. I like breakfast. If I don't eat breakfast, my stomach goes into horrible knots and pain. I wouldn't be able to do much of anything. So I don't eat any differently. I eat breakfast. Sometimes I eat a big bowl of fruit with yogurt and granola. Sometimes I eat an egg on top of whole wheat. Sometimes I eat pancakes. It really just depends. But here's why I think it is important to think about it. There are some people in the world who are so nervous before an interview or a speech that having anything on their stomach could give them indigestion. It might make them more likely to throw up. It could just give them a stomach ache. So I think you're on the right track of Thinking about everybody is different. There are some people, I believe it was Ronald Reagan who said he never liked to eat before speaking. He liked to do it on an empty stomach. There are some athletes like that. I believe it's Pancho Segura, very famous tennis player from the 60s, famously just didn't eat before a match and would rather play hungry. He'd eat later, afterwards. Everyone is different people. And I'm certainly not a professional tennis player, but I play every Thursday night at my home with a group of guys who come over at 6:30. I'm always 6:20. I'm gulping down a big dinner because I don't want to be hungry. Other people are looking at me like, how can you do, how can you play on a full stomach? That's crazy. Everybody is different. So you need to know yourself and you need to give some real thought to what puts you in an optimum physical state. Because when you are giving a speech, when you are giving an interview, there are going to be other tensions. There's going to be things that will make you nervous. The last thing you want to think about is are you too hungry, too full? Is your stomach rumbling? I mean, that's frankly my concern. If my stomach is rumbling, I wouldn't be able to focus on my audience or the reporter. Other people, complete opposite. So know what helps you come across your most comfortable and eat accordingly. Don't try anything new or fancy. So if you are at a banquet and you're speaking afterwards and there's something you've never seen before, for all you know, you might have an allergic reaction, that is not the time. I would try something brand new. I'm T.J. walker. Thanks for joining me. As always, may all of your presentations in life be a huge success.

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