Ep 47 How to Develop Charisma Feb 16 16

What is charisma and how can you get some.

Speaking the show about effective speaking in public, to the media, at work and in life. Speaking with TJ Walker.

So I'm often asked, how can you learn how to be more charismatic? I've been asked in the last year to appear on panels on how to develop charisma. I have an online course on how to be a charismatic speaker. Here's the thing. I'm going to upset some of you, and I differ with some of my colleagues in the industry. I don't think there is such a thing as charisma. Now, I know that sounds a little bit bizarre, but hear me out. I believe that when someone describes someone as charismatic, what they really mean is simply that person is a persuasive speaker, a good public speaker. Now take this test for me. Try to imagine a political leader, someone you respect, someone you think of is highly charismatic. Doesn't that person also have great public speaking skills? Now try to imagine the opposite. Try to imagine someone with horrible public speaking skills but is viewed as charismatic. It's pretty hard to do. If you ask people, let's say in the United States, if you ask Democrats and moderates and liberals, who do you think of as a charismatic speaker or a charismatic leader? They would say Bill Clinton. They would say John F. Kennedy. Well, what do the two of them have in common? Known as great public speakers. If you ask Republicans and conservatives, who do you think of as charismatic leaders? They would say Ronald Reagan, also a great public speaker. So I think there's a lot of nonsense surrounding this whole issue. We're going to delve into that a little more deeply here in the program today. But I do want you to chew on that. Now, there is such a thing in smaller circles. I mean, I certainly remember high school, junior high school people. There were just some people who were a lot more popular than others who were seen as charismatic and they didn't do any public speaking. They may have been awful standing up in front of the classroom speaking, but still, for whatever reason, they weren't necessarily better looking than everyone else. But for some reason they were just considered the cool kids. Well, I don't know about that, but you and I can't go back to junior high school or middle school, so I'm not going to worry about that. Well, what I'm far more interested in is helping you come across as more charismatic. And I think there are specific techniques to do it. But it won't happen until you buy into a fundamental mindset change. Because here's the problem when you say charisma is just something intangible, something ethereal, well, then you're left with you either get it or you don't. If you feel like you don't got it, what are you left doing? You've got no option other than to have a pity party, folks. I don't think that's particularly helpful. I do believe that if you focus on charisma, you paralyze yourself, you trap yourself because it seems too intangible. If you just tell yourself, okay, it's public speaking, and that's a skill I can learn. Now it gets to be something you can break down, something you can focus on, you can improve on. Because here's the thing. Now, I'm not that old, folks. I'm 53 years old. But I do know people old enough here in New York City who knew John F. Kennedy as a young congressman back in the 1950s. And they said he would come around to their political groups, read a speech, his head would be down, blah, blah. He'd read a speech, all you would see is a thick shock of hair. And they said he was horrible. Wasn't anything charismatic about him. He was a scared, nervous, boring speaker. Well, he transformed that. And as president, he became seen as a charismatic leader. Now, did he get some injection of some mysterious charisma serum or did he simply learn how to speak more effectively and with more confidence? I would argue that it was clearly the latter and not the former. We're going to go into this in a lot more detail.

To hire TJ Walker as a keynote speaker or workshop leader for your next conference. Call 212-7644-4955.

Barack Obama again. For those of you who don't like his politics, I'm going to need you just to tune out for a moment. But certainly among Democrats, liberals, and not a few conservatives, they consider Barack Obama to be a charismatic leader and a charismatic speaker. Was he born this way? Again? No. If you talk to people and you look at news reports of how Obama came across just a few years before his electrifying speech at the 2004 Democratic convention, as a state legislator, he was considered somewhat boring, somewhat ordinary. As someone who just sort of lectured in a boring professorial style, which he was, he was a law professor at the University of Chicago. He wasn't seen as charismatic. He was seen as sort of an ordinary professor, boring lecture type. And yet he was seen as such a charismatic figure. After the 2004 election and his speech at the Democratic convention that when he ran for president without having the advantage of family connections, wealth, a long track record in public light, he catapulted over Hillary Clinton to gain the Democratic nomination because in part, he was seen as charismatic. So again, I get back to this word. What does it really mean? I happen to think it actually is just a shorthand way of saying someone's a good public speaker. Now, I know some of you are going to get upset with me about that, think it is this interesting, mysterious amalgam of 27 different characteristics, and I'm telling you it's not. Again, if you doubt me, if you think I'm seriously wrong name for someone that is widely seen as a charismatic individual who isn't also a good public speaker, we can forget the realm of politics. Look at religion. Joel Osteen is the most popular and by many accounts the most charismatic speaker as a TV preacher in the world today. Why is he seen as charismatic? Is it because he's the most brilliant theologian? Well, no, he doesn't have any theology degree. Is it because he is the wisest and he's written the most influential books of learned scholarship? No, he's a good speaker. Folks, Billy Graham, who rose to prominence mid century in the United States from my hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina, if you ever saw him in his heyday, and I actually went to one of his rallies in 1968, he was a powerful, powerful speaker, a great public speaker. Emotion, conviction, power. So it doesn't matter what field or what industry you're in now, sometimes people want to break it down to body language. Here's what you need to know about the body language. Well, we'll talk about that in specific detail right here.

Body language.

The body language of charismatic individuals is confidence. And by that, they simply move their hands, their face, their body in a natural way. Folks, it's not that mysterious. It's not a matter of holding your hands arched together, steepled, or nonsense like that. It's not a matter of having your feet firmly planted if you're speaking or doing an interview. It means coming across naturally. If you're giving a speech and you're not the president behind a lectern with a teleprompter, then it means walking around. Many of you who follow politics closely certainly remember how naturally and easily Bill Clinton walked around the stage in 1992, making his competitor at the time look somewhat stiff and uncomfortable. It's about moving your face. Ronald Reagan was a skilled, skilled communicator, but when he gave an interview or gave a speech, he used A conversational tone of voice. He didn't yell, he didn't scream. Now he may show passion and speak more forcefully, but he didn't yell. His body language was comfortable for himself, also comfortable for anyone watching him on tv. So folks, if you want to build your charisma quotient, my advice to you, simply become a great public speaker. It's not hard. And you know what? I'm giving you the free tools right here. If you haven't done so yet, sign up for our free online course. And it's very similar to the course on how to be more charismatic, to be brutally honest. So take advantage of that right here.

For a free, no obligation online public speaking or media training course, go to mediatrainingworldwide.com and start learning today.

And folks, we do have a two way street. I'm going to get to the viewer mail and listener mail in just a moment. But also it goes two ways, which means I get to ask you questions.

A question for you.

And here's my question for you. Can you name a single person who you think of as highly charismatic, who's also a bad public speaker, someone that the rest of the world knows, not just a family friend or someone in your neighborhood, but someone who is a public figure? Can you name someone like that? And can you name someone who's seen as a wildly fantastic public speaker and someone whose ideas you like, who isn't seen as charismatic? Those are my questions to you. Send them to me. You can post them on Twitter jwalker, you can write to me infoediatrainingworldwide.com or you could post your comments wherever you're watching this or listening to this, whether it's on LinkedIn, Facebook, my blog or any of those places. Now let me clarify in that last question. Can you think of someone who is seen as a great speaker and you like their politics or their vision and is not seen as charismatic? So the reason I say that is most fair minded people I think would say, well, Bill Clinton is a great public speaker and he's a very charismatic individual. If you hate Bill Clinton's politics, then you might say, well, he's not charismatic, he's a fraud, he's a con man. Similarly with Ronald Reagan, fair minded people would say he's a great speaker and a charismatic leader. But if you are a die hard liberal or leftist, you might say, well, he's not charismatic, he's a con man. So I want to remove that from the equation because here's my thesis. If you legitimately think that Charisma is something completely separate divorce from public speaking. You should be able to give up me examples of both of those. An example of someone who is a fantastic speaker and you like their politics and ideas but is not seen as charismatic. And you should be able to give me an example of someone who's a horrible public speaker but that you and many, many others feel is wildly charismatic. That's what I'd like to hear from you. That's my question of the day to you. Now it's time for questions and comments from you. So here's a question. This comes in from Kristin Johnson. She says, how do I know it was a great talk? She's talking about a talk, a presentation she gave recently to an organization and in this case, Kristen gave it this question rhetorically. She says, I've had four emails from key people who were in attendance and they remembered my takeaways. Also specific things I did to involve the group. Also, the only fiddling they did with phones and such was to take pictures or get my slides. That's fantastic news, Kristen. Kristen, as she writes later, is a regular podcast listener and viewer. She writes your podcast info. Gems about eye contact, questions, harnessing nervousness and what to do if people lose interest were particularly valuable. So thank you. I also videotaped myself, practiced and rehearsed and that's what made the difference. So Kristen, thanks so much. Keep up the good work. Thank you for the feedback and as always, we like your comments, your questions, any feedback you have. All you have to do is send it to us right here at the program and we're happy to hear from you. Thanks to Kristen. Thanks for all of you regular listeners, viewers and subscribers. Thanks for all the comments. See you next time.

Speaking with TJ Walker is the number one rated daily streaming TV and radio show devoted to all aspects of speaking and communication. If you received value from this show then please subscribe to it@mediatrainingworldwide.com Please review the show, leave comments and share it with your friends and colleagues. Today.