TJ Walker mocks Pete Hegseth's military recruitment speech that bans beards, fatties, and weirdos. Walker points out that Trump Jr. and Eric both have beards, then asks why the military is focused on facial hair while facing potential war with Iran and depleted missile stockpiles.
America is fighting a war with Iran. Gas is up, missile stockpiles are down. So yesterday, the Secretary of Defense gathered 600 troops at Quantico to finally name the real enemy: chins. Pete Hegseth gave his annual State of the Force speech, and he boiled his entire military philosophy down to one line. Quote, no fatties, no— well, a slur I won't repeat. No beardos, no weirdos, no wimps, no radicals, just warriors. Pete, that's not a military doctrine. That's the bouncer's list at a frat party. Pete Hegseth has the gravitas of a 20-year-old fraternity president, the kind of frat with a lawyer on retainer and its own reserved parking space at the Title IX office. And the beards— Pete cannot let go of the beards. The vice president has a beard. Don Jr. has a beard. Eric has a beard. Thanksgiving at Mar-a-Lago looks like a ZZ Top reunion.
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