TJ Walker presents a short talk on emotional intelligence at work, emphasizing cultural sensitivity (different greeting norms across countries) and interpersonal attentiveness (listening, knowing colleagues' family details, offering sympathy). He frames these behaviors as part of professional duties and ends with a concrete homework: note the birthday or anniversary of three colleagues and acknowledge them.
Chapters
If you don't know everything about everyone you work with, you need to avoid things like cursing. There are other things you just need to be highly sensitive to. Every organization is a little different. Every culture is different, every city can be different, every country can be different. I work in a lot of countries all over the world. My day job is teaching people how to communicate, how to give speeches and how to speak to the media. And so I have to be keenly aware every, every country I go to, in some countries it would be rude for me to shake a woman's hand. You kiss on the cheek. Other countries you kiss on two cheeks. Other countries, believe it or not, it's three cheeks. I've got to look carefully where I am now. In certain countries, people of the opposite sex do not touch or they don't kiss, they don't shake hands. You've got to be aware of what the cultural norms are so you don't violate them and you don't upset people. Part of emotional intelligence is simply not being selfish. It's not thinking about yourself all the time. Let's face it, the easy thing, the default position for any human being is to just think about me, me, me. If you want to show emotional intelligence, you have to think about others in your office, in your organization and in your industry. And a lot of times that's just about asking them how their day was, how their weekend was, how their vacation was, and actually listening. A lot of so called smart people with advanced degrees will say, well I don't have time for that, I got my work to do. Guess what? This is your work. Getting along with people. Showing emotional intelligence is a part of your work. If you want to have a career and if you don't want to be seen as someone who's easily dispense it, you need to find out what are the names of the spouses and the children of the people you work with, what's going on in their life. You may be someone 27 and the idea of having a family and kids may seem bizarre to you. Well, you may have a co worker or a boss who is 47 and has a kid trying to get into college and that's the number one thing they're thinking about in life. You need to find out what are their concerns. I don't mean be a busybody and try to find out everything going on with their life. But certainly if you have a co worker who's on pins and needles waiting to find out if their son or daughter gets into the college of their dreams, try to find out. Congratulate them if there's good news. Express sympathy if something bad happens, whether it's on the college front or an illness or a death of a close family member. A sympathy card goes a long way when someone has just lost a loved one and maybe no one in the office seem to even care. So you've got to be emotionally in sync. You don't have to be the office shrink. You don't have to be the inner Oprah for everyone. But listening to other people, finding out about what's making them happy, sad, going on in their life, being connected with them is going to help you in your career immensely. It's also going to make life more interesting and make you enjoy your experiences with your fellow colleagues in the office and in your organization. So here's your homework. Now I want you to find out either the birthday or the anniversary of three colleagues. Make a note. And you don't have to go out and get them a big cake, but just a simple email Facebook post recognizing them on a special day. That's your homework. Leadership is a topic that gets a tremendous amount of discussion.
