TJ Walker explains why saying "Can I share an observation with you?" instead of "Can I give you some feedback?" lowers defensiveness in tough conversations. The small shift helps break the cycle of passive-aggression and anxiety that happens when people fear conflict at work.
Here's a simple communication trick that can instantly reduce defensiveness at work. Instead of saying, "Can I give you some feedback?" try this: "Can I share an observation with you?" That one small change feels dramatically less threatening to most people. And that matters because modern workplaces are filled with people walking on eggshells. People are afraid of sounding rude, afraid of offending coworkers, afraid of creating conflict. Afraid of saying the wrong thing. So instead of communicating clearly, people become vague, passive-aggressive, anxious, and emotionally exhausted. Ultimize.
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