TJ Walker argues the biggest professional mistake is using the same tone and formality for every message. Before sending anything, ask: who is this for? A casual Slack to a peer works; the same message to your boss's boss doesn't. Autopilot communication can damage your reputation.
Ultimize. Here's something you can test today. Before you send your next message, ask yourself one question: Who is this for? Not what am I trying to say, not how fast can I send it, just who is this for? Because the biggest etiquette mistake I see today is people acting the same way in every situation— same tone, same length, Same level of formality, same behavior. And that's what creates etiquette problems. Let me give you a very specific example. You send a quick Slack message to a colleague you work with every day. Hey, can you send me that file? That's totally fine. Now you send that exact same message to your boss's boss. Same words, same tone, same lack of context. Hey, can you send me that file? Now, hmm, it lands very differently. It can feel abrupt. It can feel careless. It can feel like you don't understand the relationship. Nothing you said was particularly offensive, but it didn't make the other person comfortable. Here's another example. You're following up after a meeting. You send an email that says, "Just circling back on this." That's it. You think you're being efficient, but the person receiving it now has to go back and figure out what this is, remember the context, and decide what you want. You've just made their job harder. Now compare that to, following up on yesterday's pricing discussion, do you want me to move forward with Option A or wait for more data? It's clear, it's easy, respectful of their time. That's etiquette, not politeness for the sake of politeness. Clarity that reduces friction. Let me give you one more scenario that happens all the time. You're at a conference, you're standing at a booth with your team. A potential client walks up. One person immediately launches into a long explanation of everything the company does. Another person says, "What brings you here today?" Short. Simple, focused on the other person. Who makes the interaction more comfortable? Who makes the other person feel like they're in control? That's the difference. And this is where people quietly damage their reputation. They don't read the situation, they don't adjust, they don't think about what the other person needs in that moment. They just operate on autopilot, and autopilot is dangerous in professional settings because different situations require different behavior. A quick internal message is not the same as a message to a senior executive. A casual team meeting is not the same as a client presentation. A networking event is not the same as a one-on-one conversation. And when you blur those lines, you create discomfort. Now, in the recent past, there have been multiple cases of executives losing their roles after sending messages, sometimes emails, sometimes internal chats that were written casually, emotionally, or without thinking about how they would be perceived if shared more widely. Messages that might have felt informal in the moment suddenly looked unprofessional, insensitive, or inappropriate when seen in a broader context. And once that perception shifts, it's very hard to recover. That's the reality of modern work. Nothing is truly private. Everything can be forwarded, screenshotted, or repeated. So etiquette today is not just about being polite in that one moment. It's about being intentional, understanding the situation, understanding the audience, and adjusting in a way that makes the interaction smooth, clear, and comfortable for the other person, even if they don't see how you reacted until months later. If you can do that consistently, you'll stand out immediately because most people don't. They just communicate the way that feels easiest to them, and they never realize the subtle damage it causes.
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