TJ Walker explains how to deliver a eulogy without falling apart. Skip the full script and use bullet notes instead. Pick one or two positive traits, tell a specific story about them, and practice on video beforehand to find where emotion might interrupt your words.
One of the greatest communications challenges is delivering a eulogy. And it's difficult because typically you're very sad. It's an emotional time. Someone you love, someone you've cared about has died. And now here's your chance to talk about. I want to give you a few tips to help you through this. For starters, realize that this is not unless it's a head of state. This is not something that's going to go into every newspaper and people picking over the transcript word for word. It's not important that you get something word for word just right. Therefore, I don't recommend that you try to read the eulogy. That can remove the emotional element from it, removes your eye contact, makes it sound more like a financial report at a board of directors meeting. So I would not recommend that you read eulogy, although it's perfectly fine to use notes if you limit it to a single sheet of paper with a few bullet points in large font. What you want to do when you're delivering a eulogy is to put a spotlight on one or two traits, accomplishments of the person who's died to help celebrate that person's life. It's not your job to be the journalist, being objective, covering the whole life. You're not the biographer of the person. You're not there to give the pluses and minuses. You're there to commemorate the person's life. Put a spotlight to accentuate the positive. The best way to do that is to speak from the heart about personal experiences you had with the deceased. Talk about one particular experience, recount it, tell the story. Where were you? What happened? What was the problem? What did the other person say to you? What did you say back? How did this person either comfort you, solve your problem, do something selfless, show something of true character and let people experience it with you. The easiest thing to do is just to tell a story, reliving a real experience with the deceased that is heartwarming, that showcases that person in a positive light, and then say a few other words about what this person meant to you and that's it. It's a sad time, but try not to start blubbering. I mean, everyone else is sad. They need you there to give some direction and focus. This is why I would recommend. I know it sounds almost too corporate, but I actually recommend that you practice the eulogy on video. Look at it, listen to it, figure out if it's coming across the way you like. Like any other presentation, this will help you do a better job, but it also can make it easier for you to get through it because you're not saying the words for the first time, so it's less likely to trigger emotional reaction. With you now, it's fine to be emotional. It's fine to have tears come down your cheek. But if you are choking and blubbering and crying loudly, then you can't talk and you're not actually delivering a eulogy. Practice those tips and you can honor the deceased in the best possible way.
You're Not Being Judged on Your Work Yet: What New Hires Are Really Evaluated On
