Two speakers use breath and oxygen as metaphors to explore escape from oppression toward self-empowerment. Speaker A describes feeling trapped by controlling figures until sensing a crack that lets in pure air, while Speaker B grapples with mistrust and guilt. Together they move from fear toward claiming a breath that belongs only to them.
Chapters
Made of schemes, shattered dreams, never a life made of his broken parts. When he demands that we stay, he looks at me this way. I can't manage or place, there's a new edge to his face, and I'm afraid. No, I can't. Can't run now I don't know how. Gail, hold your breath a bit longer. Not much more. Get out the door and go. Go, go, go, go, go, go.
What have I done? Do I go back? I always go back. This could be no different, no. Now's my chance, 'cause I can't trust Todd, I can't trust Pete.
Walls were closing in, they won't understand.
But do they have to?
Suddenly I feel room inside me, a crack of the ribs.
Is this oxygen?
Pure and true, what do I do with it? Am I coming up for air? Taking a breath that belongs to me, one I couldn't spare before.
But this real breath feels like I'm cheating death, so am I done being sorry?
Being scared? Am I coming up for air?
Still I feel guilt about the girls. Does their killer walk because I stole the show? My face on screen, still Could I take all the space, leave none for them?
Maybe I'll be brave one day, tell the truth, but on my own terms. Suddenly I feel warmth inside me, a heart pumping blood. This is oxygen, pure and strong. Can't think I'm wrong right now. Coming up for air, taking a breath that belongs to me, what I couldn't spread before. Since this real breath feels like I'm cheating death, I think I'm done being sorry, being scared. Think I'm coming up for air when I get there. Where's there? A great big field? A few tall towers? Will I cut my hair? Drive for hours? Be where I choose to go? And be who I choose to know. Oh, is this what it feels like to breathe with no chill down my spine in a moment that's mine, not owned by some man, master of my plan? Am I breathing? I am, I am, I am coming up forever. Taking a breath that belongs to me, one I couldn't spare before. Yes, this real breath feels like I'm cheating death, so I am done being sorry, being scared. I'm coming up, coming up, coming up forever. Soon I won't need a mirror. Soon I won't look back. I'll just know where I'm going.
