Tom FerrariVP - GTM & Technology Search, UltraTalent · Placing elite sellers & builders at startups

Sales Secrets: Likability vs. Influence - Closing the Deal!

12 Jul 2025 · 2 min

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1:50

In this concise talk, the speaker argues that likability is merely a baseline requirement for salespeople—it opens the door but does not close the deal. While building a relationship and demonstrating understanding of the prospect’s business are essential, the real driver of sales success is influence, which is earned through trust, thoughtful questioning, challenging the buyer when needed, pushing timelines, and shaping decision criteria. The speaker emphasizes that the first third of a sales cycle may rely on rapport, but the remaining two‑thirds depend on moving beyond friendliness to become a trusted advisor who can guide the buyer’s choices and ultimately win the contract. The message is blunt and direct: salespeople are not there to make friends; they are there to make a difference for the buyer’s organization and hit their own targets.

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I think my answer might be a little bit frank or direct at times, but I think this is a really important topic. Being likable is table stakes. I can't think of an example where someone bought a piece of software from a vendor, but they did it with angst because they hated the sales rep, but they just had to do it. Maybe that's happened. I don't know. I'm sure it has, but you got to be likable. That's— but like I said, that's a table stake, but the relationship alone isn't going to get you the deal. You have to use it to earn influence. And I think it starts obviously with building relationship, showing you understand their business, asking thoughtful questions. But again, back to the point of challenging, being willing to challenge them when it matters most. You know, you can, you can run the first third of your sales cycle off relationship, but the two-thirds is not relationship. The two-thirds is taking it to the next level. You know, I share with my team all the time, being liked opens the door, being trusted keeps it open, but the influence that you have, the influence is what really moves the deal forward. And, you know, to the point of being blunt, like, we're not here to make friends. And I share that with my team as well too. I mean, you can make friends with your employee, with your coworkers, but we're really not here to make friends with buyers. Sometimes we do, and that's fantastic, but that's not the core part of the job. We're here to make a difference in their organization and we're here to hit targets. And, you know, a strong relationship can give you access and can give you honesty, but it's not just about building rapport. You gotta ask those questions, you gotta push for timelines, you gotta shape the decision criteria. And then again, you do truly become a trusted advisor, not just another vendor. Again, setting you apart from the competition. And this requires trust as well as likability, but not just likability. Thank you. That's really well articulated.