Igniting Sacred Connections: A Journey of Spiritual Renewal with Yoel Halpern #37

And we are live. Fantastic. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another captivating Influencer Mindset podcast. Today we have a true gem in our midst, Yoel Halperin, the visionary behind Mishmar. For those who are unfamiliar, Mishmar is an extraordinary group that gather every Thursday night attracting men from diverse backgrounds and communities who come together to experience the divine and embrace their Jewish heritage through the timeless wisdom of the Torah. Now let's dive deep into Yoel's extraordinary journey and the remarkable growth of Mishmar that has taken the world by storm. Yoel could Yoel, could you please take us back to the pivotal moment that ignited your passion and made you come to establish Mishmor? What was that moment that really kind of make that happen? First of all, how are you, Yoel?

Baruch Hashem.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me on. I feel honored. So you're asking me about a pivotal moment. It's interesting that the pivotal moment for me came when I completely gave up actually trying to make a moment. And to give you a little bit of a history, you know, so I'd been, I moved here. I mean, there's so much, it goes back to my youth. It goes back to how I grew up. I grew up in a place. I mean, this is getting into my whole story, but—

That's what we want to hear. We want to hear your story.

So I grew up in a place called Shariashiv, in Far Rockaway. There's a yeshiva there called Shariashiv, which my grandfather started. His name was Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld. And it was a yeshiva for people, for balay tshuva. And it was in the '60s that he started. So it was a lot of hippies. And that's how I grew up. And it started a whole neighborhood. Farakwe was the small neighborhood. And my father ran the yeshiva. And our whole lives was around the yeshiva. And it was a very cool place. A lot of, I'm sure, people that we mutually know went to Shari Yeshiv. And it was just, it was a place where it was more about the connection than anything else. It was more about connection than, yes, Torah, but Everything, tefillah, but the main attraction was Yiddish connecting. And it was a lot of fun. I had an amazing, amazing childhood. And being, you know, first of all, my father is a rabbi, so there's challenges that come with that. And, you know, but overall I had an amazing, amazing childhood. It was filled with Yiddishkeit and just really positive vibes, really, really positive vibes around Yiddishkeit. So moving to LA where my my lovely wife Sarah is from, it was a challenge for me because it was a really big culture shock. I grew up in a, I guess you can call it a more right-wing neighborhood. And 13 years ago, LA is a lot different than the just amazing electrifying community we have right now. It was a big culture shock for me. As a matter of fact, I even bounced back to New York, um, after I've been living here for a year and a half. I bounced, and I— 2 or 3 weeks into moving to New York, I'm like, wait, I just moved from LA to New York back? I'm like, what did I do? So we came right back, literally. We were living in New York for 6 weeks, and we came right back. Um, but one of the big challenges always in LA was there wasn't a really strong sense of community. There wasn't a big group of growing people that really feed off each other. And it was very, very difficult for a long time. I bounced around to a lot of different shuls, and I thought that was a factor of, you know, just not finding my place. But it turns out I still bounce around to different shuls. But it just felt there was a tremendous, tremendous void. So we're getting to the moment, or a lack of the moment. I went 2 years ago and I had been doing this mishmar with Rabbi Shaff and Rabbi Rose. And we would really gather, let's say, once every 6 weeks or once every, something like that in my house usually. And we would mishmar, we would do what we do today. And it was kind of COVID put an end to that and we eventually started it up again a little bit. Anyways, 2 years ago I went to Ukraine with Rabbi Zach Katinsky, who is from Kehillas Mevakshi Hashem in New York, which is like the whole Thank You Hashem movement. And it was the first time by Rabbeinu. And it was the first time by the— I've never been to Kvarim before, actually. I've never like really gotten into it like that. And but just—

So you went to Rabbi Nachman?

I went to Rabbi Nachman, I went to everywhere. I went to Rabbi Yitzchak from Barditshev, I went to the Baal Shem Tov, I went to Pinchas of Koritz. I mean, the list— we went for 5 days just nonstop and it was amazing. And I came back and I really just said, okay, I got to move back to New York. Because I got to be close to this Rabbi Zak Katinsky. I have to be just like, it's enough is enough. I have to like take care spiritually. I have to feel like I have an Achevra. I have to like, I feed off that. I grew up with it and I need it. Like I just feed off it. But I said, you know, as long as I'm here, you know, it's going to take me time to figure this out. As long as I'm here, you know, let's febrenge and let's just, you know, we'll do it every week. So if one person comes, two people come, three people come, You know, so we started doing it every week after that. And, you know, every fire, every good fire needs a good combustible, like a good fuel. And the fuel came with really Yitzhak Katz. And, you know, meeting Yitzhak Katz, I knew who Yitzhak Katz was for a long time, but meeting Yitzhak and He was on his own journey and he got hooked on this mishmer and it's really just, again, it's a chevra, it's a group of people connecting to each other and singing, which is huge. The ego is gone when you sing, or it should be gone, but for most people, just when you sing and you get into it, it's just you're singing, you're focused on your breath and you're And just the Torah and everything. So Yitzi was really, you know, from really a tremendous, tremendous force in this whole thing, continues of course. And, you know, I kind of, you know, him and I kind of run the logistics, but it really has nothing to do with us. Really, it's the Chavurah. At this point, I don't come to Mishmar to run Mishmar. I come to Mishmar because that's what I needed. I need to do once a week to check in and feel that. So that's the story.

That's quite amazing because, you know, like, especially when people are on a spiritual path, you know, you're looking for something to keep you on this path. And it's not an easy thing because there is certain restrictions you need to do, especially if you're about teshuvah. There is things that you're not used to. And I think that the one thing that could really keep somebody on that path is having something like Mishma where you go and like you said, we feed off each other. And, that energy, you give energy and you get a lot more energy by just hugging. And, I remember like on Mishma, I had few moments that I literally felt goosebumps all over my body. I felt something that I never felt before, the togetherness, the oneness, the— and, And, I thought that this is probably something that needs to be more brought into light and more acknowledged about not only the beauty but the power of that thing to increase spirituality and also empower one another as a group of people. And, one of the most beautiful things was that When I came, I saw people from different shuls. I saw people from the Happy Minyan. I saw people from Sephardic shuls. I saw people from Chabad, people, a Breslev. And to me, that was incredible because to see the colors of all those people coming together was really, really fascinating and incredible. And And I can tell you what, like, you know, when you started it, you know, how do you, what do you think made the thing Mishmar grow so vastly pretty much? And it really became a force in the community. And I mean, what do you think the factors that contributed to this popularity of that thing?

So I think honestly, I mean, what does it say? Ain davar b'fnei haratzon or something. You know, when people have ratzon. Ain davar omed b'fnei haratzon. Right, nothing stands in the way of will. And it's not that nothing because we could make it happen. It's that when you show the Rebbeinu Shalom enough will, that Hashem makes things happen. So I think it was something that, you know, a lot of people really, really wanted. They wanted, and why I think if you want to put it into words, why I think COVID, I think COVID really did a remarkable thing for Klal Yisroel. I think people saw a lot of the institutions that we had faith in Whether it's the government, the scientists, education, everybody was bilbo. It was like, what does everybody like? We were faced with so much of just like, this is so vain, it's so silly. Everything I believe in is being broken down. Like even the Florida thing, you know, Mehran also, these things broke. I, for me at least, you know, it's like, what do you think is the safest place in the world? It's like, American engineering. Are you kidding? And like, that's like architecture, American zoning laws. And it's like, I'm talking about the Surfside disaster in Florida that happened. And you know, and boom, a building. It's like everything we believe in is being broken down. And that's what happens before Mashiach. So now when we're coming through on the other end of COVID and people just want to attach themselves to something real and break down the barriers of ego. You mentioned that, you know, a lot of different people show up and I think people appreciate, you know, there's certain little things that kind of little rules that I have almost for myself that like that I do it with intention. Like first of all, like the alcohol, it was never about fancy bottles and it's never about that, you know, like it never was about fancy food. It was never in a way about the rabbis. It wasn't about, you know, it was about the guys, like, guys, we're coming to eat some challant, make a lasayim, and just connect and like forget the work, the life, all the form that we attach ourselves to throughout the day, you know. And that's really, and I think that is very, in today's world, especially in Los Angeles, you know, Zelu umadze, right? LA is crazy. You walk around the streets here, it's crazy in so many different ways from what you're hit with. So we have crazy kedusha too.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, can you share any of the challenges you were facing while building Mishmor? I mean, and how did you overcome those challenges? You know what I'm talking about? Like, because you're starting something and, and, and first it's just, you know, it's just an idea, and, and, and I'm sure there's challenges.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I, I, challenges— I think the biggest challenge is for me, I very much accepted whatever it is, and I still accept whatever it is. I'm not trying to make it. I don't look at it as me. I just look at me as, you know, I'm a facilitator. I shop at Smart Final for it, and I start the nigunim because you need to keep the nigunim flowing. Yeah, so like, you want to talk about challenges? A lot of times I just want to be at Mishmar. I don't want to lead Mishmar. I don't want to be the guy who's figuring, trying to think about the next nigun and who the next person who's going to speak. And I love to do it. I shouldn't say that, but I'm saying sometimes that to me is, at first it was shalay l'shma. In other words, it was like, okay, you're getting covered. You're sitting up at the head of the table. You're a guy, but now we're ready. It's like, okay, now I could do it for real. And then because after so many times in sitting in the front, it doesn't do it for you anymore. So now it's just like, okay, now it's the avoda of there's a call here. And, you know, you're— so when I'm shopping, when I'm shopping and, you know, I'm doing things that are annoying, that are definitely a lot of things that are annoying, I remind myself that, you know, doing it for the— we're all here for a mission, and, you know, this is my little part. But challenges, it was more personal challenges, you know, dealing with Dealing with people telling you compliments, it's not easy to take compliments. People are telling you things that their experiences they had and even till today it's like a little uncomfortable sometimes because I'm trying to be humble but somebody's telling me something that really has nothing to do with me. I'm just a little bit the face of it but it's directed towards me. It's not so easy.

Can you share like a story of somebody that came to you and told you that the effect that Mishmar had on their life that was significant or something like that?

So I know I don't have a specific story in mind because I think that a lot of times people send me things or send Yitzi things and we will And a lot of them, the beginning of it, you know, well, this, you know, this guy told me, you know, that guy told me, like, at this point, Baruch Hashem, it's like, yeah, if you come to Mishmor and you tune in, yeah, you're gonna have a great time and you're gonna have a great experience. Because what is it about? It's about connection, vulnerability, and Torah, and singing. Like, well, it's like, I feel like we're creating our little Baal Shem Tov shtetl. On Thursday night, you know.

It's incredible, Yoel. So this is what I'm thinking, you know, you are on to something. You're definitely on to something. I think that this is something that it's really not only good for, you know, the individuals who actually participate, it's actually good for their families. It's good for their communities, it's good for the overall connecting to something that is higher than yourself, which is in our case, Godliness and Torah. So, the benefits of just being a part of this and contributing in some level because I see your flyers, it's like, it's The flyer says, "Bring something to share." So it's, you give people opportunity to become a part of something. And that's the beautiful thing. So how do you see the future of Mishmor? I mean, where are you taking it from here?

I don't know. If I think about it in that way, then I'll probably get in trouble with myself because You know, I'm like everybody at this stage, you know, at this stage of life, it's busy. It's not what I do 100%. So it would be hard to think of, you know, how do I think the future of Mishmer or whatever? I don't think I'm done doing. I want to continue doing and like growing. So we have so many we have so many, so many things that we're missing in LA. And, you know, I think even just like, there's like Muncie has this place, this amazing shul where people just are musicians are hanging out and Hasidim. And, you know, I don't know. I have like, it's funny because, you know, I keep on I'll send Yitzi an idea. I'm like, we gotta do this. We gotta— he's like, we're gonna take a pop-up in Century City and have Mishmor in the mall. And like, you know, we're gonna get Amazon to sponsor, you know, like literally, like it's one of the ideas is so, um, but it's— I think that if I— when, when any— at any moment that we started trying to make it official, that's when it became a lot to handle. Like, there were moments where, you know, we were looking at a space and, you know, okay, and we can do programming. And I'm sure we could. We could do a lot of programming. We could do a lot of amazing things if we put our minds to it. Maybe one day we will. But if I— it's definitely not now. And I just— I'm trying to focus on bringing spirituality Or not bringing spirituality, I try to focus on what I can do is I can help create a space where people are being spiritual and people are connecting. And that's what I could contribute at this point in my life. But there's ideas, you know, I'm a dreamer. I'm a big dreamer, I can tell you that.

Definitely, you know, people are, you know, I North, I mean, my friends personally, a lot of my friends are leaving California, some of them going back to Israel, some of them going back to going to different states where it's more affordable to live. And having Mishmar, for example, in Israel or having Mishmar in Nevada, Las Vegas right now, a lot of people are going there. Just like franchising this thing, really like making it— there is a group of men in Israel, it's called— they're not religious, it's not Orthodox religious or spiritual, but it's just a group of men coming together, it's called Shomrei Ha'esh, and they're just coming together and They bring a case of beer and people are just like you say, being vulnerable and just like holding each other. And in Israel, that thing, the guy started it in his house and now there is pretty much in every city in Israel, there is Shomreh Ha'esh. And what he does, he takes individuals and he gives them a little training how to start their own groups, how to start their own groups of men and bringing them together. So, again, the benefits are huge and it's not only the benefits for the people who participate, it's the benefits of their family, their children, their wives, their communities, the overall country is benefiting from that because you have more people that are literally elevating their being and they're living more. This is what life is all about. It's about living more. And I think that Mishmor has the potential to really become something that it's not just, yeah, I mean, here locally, you know, we got it, we can still work on it. Like you said, it's so much room to grow and there is tons of ideas. But how do we create like, I mean, some kind of like a template almost that people could take and make that in cities like other cities, other countries, Las Vegas, New York, Miami, Israel. And Israel has many cities and New York has many cities and it could really be something that could uplift the whole nation, so to say, at least the Israelite nation.

Right. Yeah, first of all, there have been quite a few mishmars that have taken place throughout the world, I would say. My cousin kind of started, they get together every Matzei Shabbos, Matzei Shabbat in Israel, and they do Malava Malka. And that's kind of in the spirit of the Mishmer. There's a guy who came to a Mishmer from Australia, and he's like, "I'm going to go back to Australia and I'm going to do this." And he just sent me a few weeks ago. It was beautiful. There was like 25 people there in Sydney, Australia. And it was amazing. I saw the picture. There was way too much light in the room. They had way too many lights on. We like it dark. But I told him, "Turn down the lights a little. Bring up the..." Ganzel. Yeah, exactly. But, you know, I don't— I'll be honest with you, I don't know. I don't know personally, like, for my life where it is. Like, I don't know what I can do to take this on the road, on the road, so to speak. I think there's like, if you want to break it down on a practical level, like almost like, you know, if maybe there's somebody listening to this and, and to break it down as like what it what it takes. I think one of the most important things is the nigunim, and that's a hard thing. So first of all, if you don't have a musician, it makes it a lot harder because people like to talk. It's just, it's a challenge. So having somebody, a musician, is really, really, really a key, probably one of the biggest challenges. I think that one of, I think it should be very, very much not about, and I say this with all the love in my heart to all the rabbis, I couldn't have done it without them, but I think it's the guy, I think a lot of the guys like it because we have, we're surrounded by We're taking all day from rabbis. We're listening. We're in the shul, in the shiur. We're taking, taking, taking all day. And I think that a lot of people, when they have this ability to speak and be like, hey, this happened in the week and I learned this and I learned that, it almost gives them time to process everything you're doing. And it's really cathartic. And I think people really enjoy it. So vulnerability is a key, key, a key, key component that, you know, I think that if it was a chefer that was very much about alcohol, like, you know, the fancy alcohol and having the fancy meats, I don't think it would have longevity. When it becomes about, yeah, when it becomes about other stuff, when it becomes about stuff, in general. It doesn't, you know, so it's a, as Reb Leibish, I don't know if you've ever met Reb Leibish that comes to the Mishnah about once a year, but he calls, what does he call us, is the holy hippies. You know, we're a chevra of holy hippies, like yeah, a little candy, some challah, a little mashka, and that's it, you know. And I'll tell you one more thing. So it may sound so simple, but after a week of being in Ukraine with this Rabbi Zakatinsky, I asked Rabbi Zakatinsky, like, okay, I've done a week here. I'm going back to LA. Like, what do I take from, like, I want to do something. Like, I want to like get the chevra into it, you know? So he's like, so just do it. And like he said those lines, just do it. And I was like, he's like, and leave the rest. He said like, just do it. And then he was like, leave the rest up to Hashem. So one person comes, two people come, three, a hundred, who cares? Like you do it because you think it's your avoda and that's it. Like you don't have to worry about anything else. And it just clicked for me that like, okay, so okay, if I'm here and I would prepare like the first couple weeks when you go weekly, and I was preparing and I was nervous if people are going to come or not, but I'm like, who cares? If it's just me, I know Yitzhak Katz is coming, so like it'll just be us two, we'll learn, whatever. So that's also, it's like giving up. This whole thing of the mishmar is like giving up. It doesn't make a difference. Just have the mishmar. If you have it every week, people will come, they'll check in. It may not be the best mishmar ever, whatever. If you have like the A Talmud, carbon Talmud, you know, it's just like you talk about this other organization in Israel. It's like, okay, it's dependable. It's like I can go, I can check in, I can plug in, you know.

That's amazing, man. I really wish that Mishmor will continue to grow. And I know that there is a lot of people that are contributing and, you know, sometimes even opening their homes, like Moti. But do you want to— do you have any specific people you want to thank? Or do you want to also do like a call, like calling people saying, this is what I want, this is what I need? Maybe you guys can help in that way.

Yeah, sure, I can do that. I can definitely do that. So first of all, thanking people. I feel even weird thanking Hashem. I mean, because like this is just an experience of Hashem, but we always have to thank Hashem. And of course my wife, who every Thursday night, you know, like we used to have a whole Mishmar after party. That was like, you know, a little bit exclusive. I'm joking. It wasn't. It was just like the guys that would stick around and we would literally, it was till like 3 in the morning, but like that, it's just too much. But, and then of course, Yitzhak Katz has been such a, he's been a tremendous, tremendous force in my life and of so much positivity and I want to thank him for that. And thank everybody. I mean, I really don't— this is a whole chevra coming together and doing something together. And I thank everybody that come. And now what I want from the Mishnah and what I would ask from people, I don't need any help. It's like for me to go to Smart Final and pick up some seltzer is my avoda. We don't need more people to host. I'll tell you what would be amazing for me is if people, and this is a big ask, but if people put away their cell phones at Mishmar, that would be, some people call this cell phone, some people call it the Sitra Achra. But I think it's a big impediment Even sometimes to other people that are there. And just like to be present and like get involved in a nigun. You know, like, you know, talking, I don't have, you know, if there's too much talking, I tell the Olam, guys, I need help with a nigun and everybody helps. I don't, again, it's more about like, if we can make this as a makum kadosh and like put the cell phone in the pocket, You know, there's enough pictures, everybody's taking enough videos. Newcomers will always take a picture or two, a video, because it's— but I can tell everybody here that if everybody really put away their phones and focused and just focused on being present, I think it's a different experience. It's a different experience for the people around you, and it'll be a different experience for yourself. For yourself. Other than that, it's just the Aylem should just keep on being Besimcha and bring Kedusha to this crazy city as long as we're here. You know, let's try to burn out the Klipa.

Absolutely. Oh man, that's beautiful. What can I tell you? I'm really excited about Mishmor every time I see the flyer. One last thing I wanted to ask you, Yoel, is what advice would you give somebody who participated in Mishmor, came, experienced this, or heard about it, but he doesn't live in LA, lives in a different state, different country, in Israel, and he wants to start a group of Mishmor somewhere? What advice would you give him? How to go about this? Is there any, you know, tips that you can give somebody who wants to start a mishmorah somewhere?

Really, really, I know this may sound a little, what do you call it, progressive or whatever. They're not that progressive is not the right word, but the most important thing if somebody wants to start something is to be vulnerable. And be okay with one person showing up or two people showing up. It's not about that. If you want to start something, just start it. Keep it simple and start it and let Hashem do the rest of the work. Because if you're going to try to make it into something and force something, it just doesn't work. It just doesn't work. It's like, maybe it does and maybe I'm just— but I believe in this type of thing. It's not— And you're not trying to do, if you don't have a ton of money, so if you have a ton of money, okay, so I'd say get a musician that you have every single week and get good challant and geshmakah drinks and just blast it out eventually. But like not everybody has that and that's more, it's a bigger ask. But I think if people just start simple and like if you're in a town that, and you have a chevra of people, so like guys, We'll invite everybody. Who cares about ego? Who cares if people don't come? We'll invite everybody and we'll just do it from— we'll move from your house. We'll do it one week. We'll start every two weeks, every three weeks, whatever, once a month. We'll do it by your house, then by my house. Who cares who shows up? It's you're here, I'm here, then we're all here. And that's when I think a lot of the magic starts happening. And I think that whole concept is we see it throughout Yiddishkeit, that when we give up that's the moment where you start receiving.

That's amazing. So you're saying let go of the results, enjoy the journey. It doesn't matter if it's one person. If it's meant to be, it will be. It's like you're doing— it's an avoda, and you're really doing it to improve people's lives, to uplift them, and to create an environment where godliness can thrive. And, yes, and Torah and klipas can be broken. And, and, and that's, that's what Mishmar is. And this, this is why, like, when I— when me personally, when I always— when I come out of there after a few songs, I feel so much like a relief. Like there was a shell, there was a klipa that I was able to break, and now, you know, I feel so much more alive, so to say. So So, what can I say? Big Yeshar Koyach. All right. And it's unbelievable. And thank you for coming to this podcast. And I'm sure that it will inspire not only one, but many people to not only start Mishmor in their own communities, but if they're in LA, to join us and to bring something to share.

Exactly.

Which is part of the concept. And thank you so much, Joel. Any last things before we end? Thanks for having me.

The last thing I wanted to add is I forgot to say it is also there's one element that I think is also tremendous, which is that it's mostly about Hasidut. There's a tremendous, tremendous Hasidus part of the Mishnah, and I think that's also a key. This is the Torah of Mashiach, and we're in Mashiach times. We got to add that to everything we do, a little drop, a drop in everything we do.

Absolutely, man. I can tell you just one more thing. In the age that we're living where AI is literally taking over, where people are so addicted to the screens and to their phones, this thing is more necessary than ever. It's the ability. And what you said, leave the phones at home or in your car, when you come in, this is, I think, an incredible thing because you have your phone enough. Right now, you just need to connect. The phone is mamash. It's literally a force that drags you down and it's time for you to elevate yourself. And I think especially now, there is more need for that than ever. So thank you so much, Yoel Halperin, for the inspiration. And I really hope that because of this podcast and because of your appearance here and your participation and accepting this invitation, a lot more people will be able to experience what it means to come together with joy and happiness and just let go of the results, enjoy the process.

Amen. Amen.

Amen.

Thank you for having me. I hope to see you tonight. Oh, tomorrow night.

Oh, tomorrow night. God willing, I will be there.

Okay.

Take care, y'all. Thanks a lot.

Bye.