Uplift Yourself Energetically - Understanding your emotional engine.

Uzi Moses PhD, how are you? Good to see you.

Fantastic. Unbelievable.

It's good to see you.

Same here, my friend. Thank you for actually agreeing to doing this. I never thought that it's going to actually happen since I don't live here and we are in Israel right now. And it's like, to me, it's like a miracle, almost like a dream. So I'm very, very happy and grateful to Hashem that we are here.

My pleasure.

And to you, of course.

Let's get to the point.

Okay, we wanted to ask you, so, so yeah, so, um, you know, there is something that's been boggling my mind for, for some time. You know, I've been, um, I think one of your greatest fans. I love the content and everything, uh, that you do, and it's really— it became like almost a way of life, you know, to me. But just like everything, sometimes you feel that you are really excited about the content, about davening, about doing mitzvot, about going to a class, about listening to a class. And sometimes you just have this feeling, it is like you are falling, and then you need to pick yourself back up, how to motivate yourself, and to motivate yourself to bring back this excitement. And I'm thinking that every time that I engaged myself in spirituality and in the content, and just by listening to a class, to a lecture, or just being involved in any type of good deeds, when I was excited about it, it just felt more real to me and more impactful and more meaningful to me. Sometimes when you feel a little bit down and you do not feel like doing something, you are not as excited. It is something that I think a lot of people are going through. It is like life. Life is a roller coaster. I think it is the same thing with spirituality.

With everything. How do you keep high motivation in everything, in spirituality, in learning, in whatever you do? That's the most important. You made the right connection between motivation and emotions. Why? Because what is motivation? Motivation, it's the same motivation to learn, to do, to develop yourself, to understand what is going on in you, to understand what do you want from your life. What does it mean, this connection? It means that our emotions are our engine. Without our engine, we have nothing. The more emotions push you forward, And it's one of the most important things to businessmen, to every person that wants to develop himself, to want to learn more, to keep his motivation in, let's say, high quality, to keep high quality motivation in high volume. How do you do that? That's the question, right?

Right.

Sometimes, you know, sometimes let's take a few advices and try to understand them. And in order to understand them, we have to understand the What is emotions? How do they work? Emotions push you forward when you feel— how do they work? They push you forward in order to connect you to others. Without emotions, you are cold. You're not connected to your spouse, to your friends, to your brothers, to whatever. That's the real role of the emotions. And without that, it's like, I don't want to do things. So remember that good emotions, high-quality emotions, desirable emotions are the ones that connect you. The opposite one, those are the emotions that disconnect you, that you don't want to do. You don't have any energy to learn anymore. So when you have this undesirable emotion, it's like a light in your car, in your engine that says that something is locked. You don't have enough fuel, enough water, something. You need to add something. And what do you need to add? Emotions are something unstable. They change immediately. You can fall in, you can love your wife, feel connected. After 2 hours, she said to you something, and now you're ready to explode and to sell, and I want a divorce now. But 10 minutes ago, you loved her so much. So to understand this characteristic of the emotion that they are not so stable, it's something that you have to work on it. First thing, let's do, we said a few advices and stop me because— Okay. Is don't be connected or unconnect yourself to the results. When you think about the results, you are being conditioned. Everything is conditioned. You are under-conditioned. Like, think about it. If you want to work on YouTube and to upload ideas and content and to be an influencer, it doesn't matter. YouTube doesn't matter. Any social network that we're talking about. If you are being conditioned by the results, Then when it doesn't go to you good enough, you will leave it. When you don't feel yourself when you woke up in the morning and you feel you are not really connected, then you are unmotivated because you are looking at the results. Wow, I was such a terrible guy. I talked to my wife like that. I did like that. Oh, I'm not in this place. So the results, the outcome, sometimes doesn't help me to push myself forward. When I'm not looking at the result, it's like it's a motivator.

So don't focus on the outcome, focus on the actual being in the moment while you do it as the journey, not the destination, pretty much is what you're saying here.

Yeah, but you know, you stop the most important thing that motivates yourself, the connection. What is connection? In Hebrew, it's called the power of knowledge, koach hadat. It's like to be connected. What does it mean to be connected? You can know that smoking is bad to you, but still you are smoking. Why do you smoke? You know it's unhealthy. You know you don't need it. You know it adds nothing to you. So why do you smoke it? Why? Because you're not connected enough to other things. And you think, you know, it's not healthy, but it's not healthy to you. To you, it's the head that we are adding. It's the power of knowledge that I know things are connected to me. It's part of my life. And in order to be motivated, if you want to motivate yourself to do things, motivation, it's only the engine. It's only a tool. Then you have to be connected to the thing that you want yourself to push yourself forward. And if you're thinking about being a better person, like a better person, not from value point of view, of you, but from, you know, a person that is happy in the morning, is not in— is, is leaving aside his anxiety, his, uh, his aggression and all other things, and depression, is— and he's trying to be a healthy and happy person. So you have to be connected to this image of a healthy person and not to be connected to, to you as an person with anxiety. Don't see yourself as your thoughts, as your undesirable thoughts, as your undesirable emotions. Try to see yourself in another point of view, and the way you will see yourself will help you push yourself to that point. Good.

So you're saying that we are not our thoughts, we are more of like our emotion, like how we feel, and our emotion is the engine that moves us. So if we are not connected to the thing internally, just externally, we're not going to really move. We have to internalize it and have it become a part of who we are. Just like, say, just like, you know, when the engine is, is not working, you have to, you know, maybe understand the right screws so it will work better so you could start moving.

You know, usually people that have a problem with the business, they don't earn enough money, they they don't make enough money. So what they do? They start to get into anxiety and to think how to do more things in order that it will work. But the real thing that they have to do is to get a little bit insight, to understand what's the problem. Why do they not give their inner value? If you give value to people, you will get the money. You will earn enough because you give value. But without inner contemplation, let's call it like that, without understanding what is happening inside of me, Why? Think about a restaurant. There are two restaurants. One of them, you see the boss is angry, is not smiling. You see he's not in this place. He's not in the moment. And in the second restaurant, you see someone is happy. Uzi, I'm waiting for you. I waited for you.

He's excited.

He's excited. He's living. He's not now all about his bank account. He's not thinking about what he will earn. He's really seeing you. And when he sees you, that's the point. He said, okay, what do you want to eat? What do you want to spend your money? Value is not only what I eat. Value is, you know, you go to the restaurant to have an experiment. Not experiment.

Experience.

Experience. Sorry. To have experience, to feel, to feel something. And when someone is smiling to you, when the owner is smiling to you, you feel better. You want to be there.

It's so true. It's so true. From experience, I know, you know, as being a restaurant owner in the past, I can just tell you, when you're excited to see people, they keep coming back. But when you, you know, and it happened to me that, you know, as a customer, you know, going to a restaurant and talking to the owner and he's not even picking up the head, he's like, yeah, you want— you don't feel like buying anything. You're like, Okay, you just want to leave, but, you know, just pick up your head, smile at me. I'm here, you know, let me feel acknowledged, my presence. And you know what? I will buy more than you can imagine, you know.

Because taste starts in the head, not in the mouth. You know, taste starts here. You think about it. The experience, the sea, everything that is around us. I started learning Hasidism, which is Jewish psychology in a way, let's call it like that. And I learned with someone that made the worst coffee ever. Like, took the water and then had to eat coffee and the water wasn't, weren't hot enough. And then he had sugar. It was like, you don't do like this coffee. Still, his coffee was the best I ever drank. Why? Because I learned there. I developed there. It was my best hour in the week. That's why. But, you know, to add to, to, uh, question, you should remember it's part of our mindset that there is an inner endless battle that happens inside of each one of us. This is the most important, I think, one of the most important ideas that the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, develops.

Right.

And when you understand this battle, you know that in every moment there is this undesirable emotions that waits for me. And they just wait for what? Why are you unmotivated? In order to ask this question, you have to understand why.

I do not feel like I am not motivated, but sometimes I am just not as excited. I am motivated, I know I want to do it. Obviously, which means when you are doing something good, you get rewarded right there and then, just by doing something that makes you feel better. Like, it is great to give somebody tzedaka. You feel good right away. But I feel like I want more. I feel like, yeah, I am motivated, but I feel like I want to be more. I want to be on fire. I want to feel like a kid in the candy store.

You know, the first condition in order to be excited It's to feel and to know that you are influencing. If you do not think you are influencing, you will lose interest.

Okay, so I love that answer.

Why? Because when you're influenced— sorry. Yeah, no, I love that answer because, okay, so, so you think about it when you are getting—

you actually matter, that what you say and what you do, it actually matters. That's why it influences and it makes somebody else's life Maybe a tiny bit better. So just that idea alone should excite me. And it's always just by talking about it, I'm kind of getting a little bit excited.

That's why you should— let's get back to the first advice. Don't be unconditional with your results. Why? Because when you are waiting for the results, there is not a subjective way to— maybe you said something to someone. And Nina went away, and after 2 years, he remembered what he said to him, and it changed his life. You want an example how it could happen? Think about negative things you can do. So you can, God forbid, harm someone, and for 5 minutes, and this harmful thing that you did will destroy his or her life for years. You can understand this idea. So if you do a good thing, You can influence others and it will take time. It will fall. They will— so influencing, knowing that you are influencing. Why people get into depression? Why do you get into depression? You know, you said that there is a scale. Here there is depression, here there is enthusiasm and then, you know, passion and whatever you'll say. And you can go, you know, in this scale or do it like that. Why people are in depression? Why do they get to this place? Why do they get to the place that they don't want to get out of the room and they don't want to do anything else? When you have, you know, a good education, usually you won't get there, but a lot of people get there. Why? Why do you get into depression? What's the problem? You have a good life. And most people that are getting into depression, they are very qualified.

They are, you know, and usually they could really influence and they're depressed because they don't.

Because they think they don't. Because they think they don't, not because they don't. Because they think they don't. And it's a very subjective feeling. It's a very subjective emotion. Jordan Peterson, you heard about him? One of the most influencing psychologists in the past 10 years, I think, who has millions of followers. And he got into depression in 2019, I think he got He was hospitalized all over Europe. Why? Because he thought, maybe I do not know how to bring my message good enough. Maybe I'm not influencing enough. Maybe people do not understand me. It's a part of the way you think. Whenever you upload something and you think, I could touch better, I didn't do it enough, people are underestimating. You know, people that are in depression usually are very talented people. If you're not talented and they have high ambition. If you don't have ambition, why should you be in depression? There is no reason to be in depression.

So you're saying the message is take your phone, put the camera in front of your face, bring your message out, record something, influence something.

No, this is, this is, this is of course. But in order to do that without losing motivation, without being in a place that that you say, okay, I don't have any— without losing passion, you have to say to yourself, I'm influencing, and to believe that you are influencing, and to believe that, that they're influencing without any, any— I'm not waiting for no one to approve me, like to tell me you are good, you're doing a good job. If I'll wait for others, maybe it will come, maybe it won't. But they are controlling me. If you're waiting for likes or for viewers on YouTube or likes on Facebook, you don't—

you're not—

they control you. When you're being controlled, you are not influencer, right? You are thinking you want to influence, but really you are a receiver, you know, because you want to receive, right? You want to receive.

So your mood depends on how many likes you got or how many comments you got. And if your mood depends on that, then you're not in the influencing side, you're actually in the receiving side. Because all you're worried about is what am I getting?

That's it.

How many likes I'm getting?

That's the point.

So when you are like, when you're thinking about yourself, obviously you're gonna have this negative emotion, depression, because I'm not receiving enough.

And understanding that you have to change places and to get back to the place of influencer. An influencer is not caring about what he will get out of it. He will get his money, don't worry. He's If you are influencing and you are giving value to people, they will pay for you. People give you money for your value. That's it. In the short term, in the long term, doesn't matter. But if you are influencing, you cannot think about what you get, what you receive. It's the opposite thing. It's like, now, okay, now I'm selling something. Now I gave you my price. Now put it aside and let's continue with me influencing, giving what I have to give. And when you do that, You get out of the depression mode and you get into the other mode of, wow, I want to— you know, when I started uploading ideas, content on YouTube, and I had about 100 followers and 50 views, 20 views, I said to myself, wow, 20 views, 20 people are interested in what I have to say. It's a huge amount of people. Then 500, then 1,000, and 11,000. It doesn't matter the, the amount because you cannot really— do you know what's the difference between 11,000, 20,000, or 5,000? You cannot really touch it, right? You have to do what you have to do even if you are influencing one person.

Exactly. Yeah, if you, if you really influence one person and you make a difference in one person's life, you really make a difference in the whole world. As I say, just tell us, one person is like the whole world.

So let's summarize. First, remember that it's an endless inner battle, that you have to be a warrior, and a warrior in order to elevate yourself and to transform those undesirable emotions to desirable emotions. Undesirable do not do their role. They do not push you forward. They push you backward. They disconnect you from your spouse, from your friends, from whatever you want to do. So you have to remember that it's an endless war, something very important. We should talk about it in a different podcast. Second thing, try not to be connected, not to value yourself by your results. There is another danger that if you were successful, after being successful, it's harder to stand in front of a new test because, well, I was successful back then. Maybe I won't be able to reaffirm myself, to get back whatever I did, to be successful again. So try not to be— to accept yourself unconditionally, without any conditions. And the first condition that you should not, you know, be touched with is your results. You are doing whatever you could, whatever you can. The results would come. You are not— it's not a part of what you see. Don't always be with your mind on how many people gave to you Don't let the results control me and control how I feel. And the last thing we talked about is don't mix between influencer and receiver. You want to be an influencer, don't forget that. Don't be a receiver, you know. So if you are in depression, you are a receiver, you want to receive. So why you are cheating yourself?

Right. Which is, which is kind of makes sense and explains the reason why not all influencers are successful. And the ones that are really successful, those are the ones that really don't care about the results. They really want to be out there making a difference in people's lives. And just by doing that, I think it's another mistake.

It's not influencing. It's not about making a change in other people's life. This is a good thing, a good idea, good value, but it's not the point. The point of influencer, influencer, is that I want to discover my inner powers or to fulfill my potential. I want to do what I have to do. I have now to teach. Doesn't matter if I have 10,000 people listen to me, million or one. That is my inner power that I have to discover. And if I'm waiting for the 4 million to listen to me, I won't discover my inner powers. So being influencer is to discover your inner powers that want to influence. So it's about you really. It's about you. You understand the difference? It's not when I am understanding an idea and delivering it later. It's not because I say to myself, wow, you have to be a good person and to— and that's going to make a difference in somebody else's life. No, it's not that I don't care about others.

You want to do that, but it's not the main thing.

I need to do that. I don't need any explanation. I need to do that. I need to deliver it. Doesn't matter.

You know, so the most important part is that you will bring your specific message from your specific angle with your specific talent to the world.

Be authentic with it.

And if it influences Yeah, real influence.

But you can never, you know, you know, Ari, you know, there should not be a motivation, pretty much. That's it.

Your motivation should not be, I want to make a difference in this person's life. Your motivation should be, I want to bring my gifts to the world.

Yeah, if the world will accept it, if the world is ready. Usually the most successful people, the world is not ready yet to what we have to bring.

Why?

Because they are so innovative You know, the most innovative businessmen or people that do, you know, high-tech usually do not succeed. Think about the first electric car. Nobody— Agassi, I think, was the one that brought it to Israel. Nobody bought his cars because it was too early. Only the second person that knew how to imitate what, you know, the ideas that the first one brought. But the first— it also happened with Tesla and how they call him, I forgot the name. Not Tesla the car, Tesla the engineer. So what I'm trying to say, being innovative, you know, discover—

Innovative, you mean?

Innovative, sorry. Okay. Being innovative and discover your inner powers and, you know, fulfill really to live. That was the title of the podcast. That was the theme, you know, be enthusiastic, be full of passion. It's about discovering your own power and nobody, no one else can give it to you. And only when you understand that, that nobody else can give it to you, only then you will feel, you know.

That's pretty amazing. That's unbelievable. And I think you answered my question like way more than I even imagined that you can answer because in a way you really clarified a very important point to me because I thought it's really about, okay, I want to these people are sad and maybe I can make them happy. But it is really not about that. It is really about what—

About me.

How can I bring my gifts and my talents and my specific angle to the world, regardless if it is going to make a difference or not. Obviously, it will make some kind of a difference. It will influence somebody, hopefully. But that's an amazing thing. And it's relevant to everything, pretty much to business. It's relevant to being a spiritual person, spiritual person, waking up in the morning. Again, it's really about me and what I need to do and what my job and how I can bring my, again, talents and gifts and my unique angle to the world, as we are all different and unique. And it's always good to, to hear things from different angles and from different people and just enrich this whole concept and idea.

You won't be an influencer if— and this will lead to another podcast— you won't be an influencer if you won't learn how to receive. But let me remind our viewers, subscribe to this channel wherever you're listening. Subscribe to the channel.

Yeah, subscribe to the channel. I can tell you this much, Dr. Ikhil Arari here has a YouTube channel that is just Unbelievable. It's mind-blowing. Every single day he posts a video that literally changes life and just motivates you to continue and be the best you can absolutely be. And I can never be more thankful for this guy. And thank you, God, for bringing this guy into the world to influence. So thank you very much. Thank you guys for watching and listening, and we'll catch you on the next one. Take care.