Are You Sabotaging Your KAM Career Without Realizing It?

Have you ever caught yourself making the same mistakes and screaming in frustration, why do I keep doing this? Maybe it's missing a deadline. Maybe you're putting off important work or holding back in meetings where you know your ideas could have made a difference. You're not lazy, you're not incapable, but you just might be sabotaging your own success. Let me tell you, self sabotage is sneaky. I'm going to tell you about my revelation I just had recently about and why it's been keeping me from my full potential and why I wanted to talk about it today, because I know this all too well. I've been there. And this year I'm going to do something about it. So sit tight. I'll be right back. Welcome back, heroes, to the Cam Club podcast. I am your favorite cam coach, Warwick Brown, and today we're tackling something a little bit different and something I think we all face at some point. Self sabotage. And trust me, it isn't easy to admit, but I have been sabotaging my own career, my whole life, and now my own business. And the funny thing is, I didn't even realize it at first. It's really just this last couple of weeks, I've had this breakthrough. You know, you go through life, you know, you think, oh, I'm stressed, or I've got too much on my plate, or I work better under pressure. There's always either external reasons or excuses that are preventing you from being your best self. That's what I kept telling myself. But then it hit me. For like a ton of bricks, I was preparing for a workshop, a pretty important one. And true to form, I leave everything to the last minute. Now, look, I had done this many times before this workshop, but every year I like to improve it. You know, I like to take the feedback from previous years and make sure that it's, you know, better than it was the last time. So the night before, I am up till midnight, cramming slides together, trying to organize my talking points, and I just thought, why do I keep doing this? I had the last two days to put this together, but now I'm rushed, I'm stressed, I'm panicking when I could have just prepared it ahead of time and it would have been fine. At first I thought, listen, we all do this, right? Me especially. But then I thought, this isn't right. This is something I am doing too often. Days where I do nothing, and then days where I am stressed out of my mind trying to accomplish and meet deadlines. So I started thinking back to all the times I've done this, and I thought, yeah, it's not a one off event. This is ongoing. So I just thought, what is self sabotage? I mean, I know the term, but I've never googled it. I've never looked it up. So I went down the rabbit hole. Because that's what you do when you admit something to yourself, right? You look it up online, you see, has it happened to somebody else? And let me tell you, the definition stopped me in my my tracks. So self sabotage is when you either knowingly or unknowingly do things that undermine your own success. It's when your actions or your lack of action prevent you from reaching your goals. And it shows up in so many sneaky ways. Procrastination, overthinking perfectionism, fear of failure, fear of success, doubting yourself to the point of inaction. The list goes on. And when I read that, I felt called out. Like, painfully called out. Because that night, sitting at my desk, I realized I wasn't procrastinating because I was busy or worked better under pressure. I was procrastinating because deep down, I was afraid. I was afraid my workshop wouldn't be good enough. Afraid people might not get anything out of it. Afraid of failing publicly. And instead of facing those fears head on, I chose to delay. I told myself, I'll do it later, because avoiding the problem felt safer than confronting it. And the thing is, I know I'm not alone in this. I think a lot of us, whether we want to admit it or not, are doing the same thing. We're finding ways to hold ourselves back, sometimes without even realizing it. Maybe you've got a project you've been meaning to start, but you're waiting for the perfect time, or applying for that promotion because you're worried you're not qualified enough. Whatever it is, we all have these little ways of self sabotaging. So today, let's talk about what I found out. Because I have been down the rabbit hole and on a mission. And recognizing the problem is the very first step to fixing it. All right, so let's break it down. What exactly is self sabotage? Because once I started digging into this, I realized it's one of those things that we all kind of know but don't really stop to name. And let me tell you, once you put a name on it, you kind of can't unsee it. So self sabotage at its core is when you do things intentionally or unintentionally, that block your own success or progress. Now, the thing about self Sabotage is. It's not always obvious. It's very devious, right? It doesn't always show up as a big dramatic mistake like blowing off an important deadline or quitting your job on impulse. It's sneaky, it's subtle. It's those small everyday behaviors that chip away at your potential over time. Take procrastination, for example. That's one of my worst. The worst ways that self sabotage manifests and shows up in my life. Right? You might convince yourself, oh, I work better under pressure, or. Or I'll start tomorrow. And I say the same thing. And every single time. I do manage that deadline, I manage to deliver decent work. But that doesn't make it a successful strategy by any means. Procrastination really is just fear in disguise. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough. So instead of trying and risking disappointment, we delay. We tell ourselves, well, we'll do it later. But deep down, we're just avoiding the possibility of getting it wrong. Then there's perfectionism. This one is a classic. You set impossibly high standards for yourself, and when you can't meet them, you freeze. You spend hours tweaking something that's already good enough. Or worse, you don't even start because you're afraid it won't turn out perfectly. How many of us have said, you know what, if I can't do it right, I won't do it at all. That's self sabotage, plain and simple. Do you know what I did one time? Somebody in my team was presenting a proposal and I spent an hour changing the. The bullet points from round to square because I like square bullet points. Pointless. Added zero value to that proposal. But there was me wasting time. Why? For what? For what purpose? Self sabotage. Another sneaky form over committing. This one's tricky because it looks like productivity. You say yes to every opportunity, every project, every request that comes your way. I know as key account managers, we often do that. You know, we problem solvers and we don't like to disappoint. We like to make sure we get results. But then you end up being so overbooked and overwhelmed that you don't have the time or energy to focus on the things that actually matter to you. It's like you subconsciously distracting yourself from the real goals by filling your plate with things that won't align with them. Wild, huh? It's like you're. You're subconsciously distracting yourself from your real goals by filling your plate with things that don't align with them. And let's not forget imposter syndrome. You know that little voice in your head that says, who do you think you are to be doing this? You're not good enough, you're not smart enough. People are going to find out you don't belong here. Imposter syndrome is self sabotage's best friend. It keeps you doubting yourself and holding you back even when you're fully capable of succeeding. I've done a whole big article around imposter syndrome because again, something I suffered from very badly earlier on in my career and took me a long time to get over it. So I will link that in the show notes which you can grab@tkcpodcast.com 045 the Crazy Thing is, self sabotage isn't about laziness. It's not about lack of ability. It's about fear. Because success comes with its own set of challenges, right? It can feel scary. What if I can't keep it up? What if people expect more from me? What if I succeed and it still doesn't feel like enough? Where we're in now, our comfort zone is our safe space. That's why it's called comfortable. It's easier to keep ourselves here than it is to make changes. So that's the irony really of the whole self sabotage thing. We think we're protecting ourselves from pain or disappointment, but we're actually creating it. We're staying stuck in patterns that hold us back all because they feel safer than taking a risk. So as uncomfortable as it is, we have to face it. We have to ask ourselves hard questions. What patterns or habits are keeping me stuck? What am I avoiding because I'm afraid of failing or even succeeding? And here's a big one. What would happen if I actually stopped holding myself back? Now? These questions aren't easy to answer, but they're so important. Because until we get honest with ourselves, we're just going to keep repeating the same self sabotaging behaviors over and over again. And I don't know about you, but I am ready to break that cycle. I must. It's gone beyond will. I have no choice. I have to address this. So now that we know what self sabotage is, let's dive into the why. Why do we do this? What's really going on? Why would you do this to yourself on purpose? You think sounds crazy, but then when you dig a bit deeper, it's rooted in fear. It's rooted in insecurity. And honestly, our desire to feel safe. It's a protective action. That's what blew me Away. Self sabotage is my way of protecting myself. Keeping me in my little safe, well known, well worn rut so that I. You don't encounter danger. Wild when you think about it in that way. So the big one, fear of failure. This is the most obvious reason we self sabotage. Because nobody wants to fail. Can feel embarrassing, disappointing, crushing. So instead of taking a risk where failure is possible, we avoid it entirely. We procrastinate, we overthink, we distract ourselves, anything to avoid facing the chance we might fail. But if we don't try, we're failing anyway. So it's kind of self defeating. We don't even give ourselves a chance to see what could have happened if we did try. The other thing that you might not be expecting, there's a twist, right? That we're also sometimes afraid of success sounds weird, but hear me out. Success can feel just as scary because it comes with change, it comes with responsibility, and it comes with the pressure to maintain it. If you succeed, people might expect more from you, you might expect more from yourself. It's like, what if I achieve my dream and it doesn't feel the way I thought it would? Remember when you were a kid, you know, if you're A, you get a B or an A and suddenly like, oh my God, mom's going to be expecting me to get that grade all the time. Whereas if you're a straight D student, where's the expectation? There is none. So it's kind of like that, really. It's all those what ifs that are going around in your head. And instead of facing the what ifs, we stay in our comfort zone. We're wired to stick to what feels familiar, even if that familiar thing isn't good for us. Because change is scary, growth is uncomfortable. And sometimes it's easier to stick with the habits, the routines, or the beliefs we've always had, even if they're holding us back, than it is to step into the unknown. We're also victims of negative self talk. That little voice in your head that says you're not good enough. Who do you think you are? It's a major culprit of self sabotage. Perfectionism. Again, we've talked about that already. That workshop I mentioned earlier, one of the reasons I procrastinated wasn't just because I was afraid of failing. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted the presentation to be slick. I wanted it to have animations and transitions and icons and great graphics and images and all that kind of stuff. And that pressure paralyzed me. I couldn't even get started because I wanted it to be flawless. Now, when eventually push came to shove and the time was running away from me, I got down and did it and it turned out great. But why put myself through it? Honestly? So you think about all of these things. Staying safe means staying stuck. It means playing small when you are capable of so much more. And it means letting fear run the show instead of stepping into the growth and the opportunities that are waiting for you. So we know why we self sabotage, how it manifests. Let's talk about what we can actually do about it, what we can, how we can break the cycle and start showing up for ourselves in a way that moves us forward. That's what I'm actively working on. I have a full game plan, so let me talk to you about how I put it together and where the inspiration came from. So one of the most powerful ideas I came across while reflecting on all of this was from a book I'm almost finished reading called the Mountain Is yous by Brianna Wiest. In the book, she talks about how self sabotage isn't just about ruining opportunities or delaying progress. It's actually about unresolved emotions or fears that need to be addressed. She says, and I love this. Your mountain is the thing you're avoiding. It's the discomfort you're trying to escape. But if you can face it, you can climb it and that's where you'll find your growth. And when I read that, I thought, wow, that's it. That is exactly it. For me, and I'm sure for so many of us, self sabotage is about avoiding discomfort. We avoid that hard client conversation because we're afraid of rejection. We procrastinate on preparing the Quality Business Review because we don't feel ready. Or we overthink a proposal because we're afraid it won't be perfect. But climbing the mountain, facing those fears is where we grow as professionals and as people. So the first step in stopping self sabotage is becoming aware of it. And I mean really aware. Because like we talked about earlier, self sabotage can be sneaky. You might think you're just too busy or you're a bit overloaded, or you're just unmotivated. But maybe you are stuck because you are being afraid of being judged. So Brianna Weiss says self sabotage is rooted in self protection. So when you encounter some of these manifestations of self sabotage, ask yourself, why am I avoiding it because it feels uncomfortable? Or what am I avoiding because it feels uncomfortable? Where am I procrastinating or overthinking? And most Importantly, what would happen if I didn't hold myself back? Unleash yourself. Here's something practical you can do at the end of the day. Reflect on one moment where you might have sabotaged yourself. Did you put off sending that email to a client because you weren't sure it was perfect? Did you avoid making a call because you were nervous about the outcome? Write it down and be honest with yourself. Awareness is the first step forward toward change. All right, next Step two. You want to challenge those negative thoughts. Once you're aware of those self sabotaging patterns, you've got to challenge them. A lot of our self sabotage comes from limiting beliefs. Or that negative voice now says that you're going to mess this up or you're not ready. But here's the truth. Just because you think something doesn't mean it's true. You're not unprepared. You're just scared. You're not bad at presentations. You're just nervous. The trick is to notice those thoughts and challenge them. One technique I found really helpful is called reframing. It's a work in progress. Like it's not easy, but I'm starting to get into the hang of it. And the idea is not to say to myself, I'm going to fail this presentation, but to reframe it as this presentation is a chance to learn and grow. Or instead of, oh, I'm not ready to pitch to an account as big as this, reframe it in a to say something like, the fact that I'm here means I've earned the right to be at this table. Powerful. Very powerful stuff. It's hard to come up with the reframing angle. I'm still not perfect at it by any stretch, but I'm trying to practice. I'm trying to find a different way to look at things, a different lens. So when you reframe those thoughts, you start to shift from fear and doubt to possibility and action. And as key account managers, this is especially important. You're the trusted advisors to your clients. But if you can't trust yourself, how can you expect them to trust you? Step three is just to take small, consistent steps. That's something that is reiterated in the Mountain Is yous. Brianna Wiese talks about how self sabotage often comes from overwhelming ourselves with the big picture. We focus so much on the mountain itself, the size of it, the difficulty of it, that we just freeze. But instead of obsessing over the entire mountain, she says, just focus on the next step. As the old expression goes, a journey of a Thousand miles begins with a single step. So as key account managers, you might feel overwhelmed by everything on your plate. Client meetings, quarterly reviews, forecasts, strategy sessions. But you don't have to tackle it all at once. Break it down. If you've been avoiding preparing for a client presentation, start with one small task. Say the agenda, or even before that, the template prepares that you're going to use. Then work on one slide. Then rehearse one section. Progress builds momentum. And the more momentum you have, the less likely you are to sabotage yourself. Step four is to focus on progress, not perfectionism Step four is to focus on progress. Now, perfectionism. I've already spoken about it, but it's a major roadblock for many of us, especially in roles like key account management, where the stakes feel so high and you're juggling client expectations. But here's the thing. Perfection. It's delusion. It doesn't exist, and chasing it will only keep you stuck. Instead, focus on progress. Celebrate small wins. If you've been avoiding reaching out to a client about a tricky issue, don't wait until you've crafted the perfect email. Just start the conversation. A thoughtful, authentic message is better than no message at all. Your clients don't expect perfection, but they do expect honesty, effort and follow through. And finally, embrace the discomfort and growth. Just go back to that mountain metaphor from Brianna Weiss. You know, she says, the moment you realize a mountain is you, you will see the only thing standing on your way is yourself. And I think that is such a powerful reminder, especially for those of us in client facing roles. Growth is uncomfortable facts. Whether it's negotiating a big deal, leading a strategy session, building a relationship with C suite stakeholders. There's always going to be a little fear or discomfort. But instead of seeing that discomfort as a reason to stop, try seeing it as a sign you're moving in the right direction. Lean into the discomfort instead of running away from it. What's on the other side of that fear? Well, that's where your growth is. That's where your success is. So to recap. 1. Build self awareness. Recognize when and how you're self sabotaging. 2. Challenge negative thoughts. Reframe your fears and doubts into possibilities. 3. Take small, consistent steps. Don't overwhelm yourself with the mountain. Focus on the next step. 4. Focus on progress, not perfection. It's better to take imperfect action than no action at all. And 5. Embrace discomfort. Because growth and success come from climbing the mountain, not avoiding it. And when you start practicing these steps, you're going to notice something incredible. The same energy that once held you back can be redirected into moving yourself forward. So grab that book. I highly recommend it. The Mountain Is yous by Brianna Wiest. You won't look back. So one thing also that as we wrap things up that really stood out to me in the book is that your new life is going to cost you your old one. It's going to cost you your comfort zone, your sense of normal, your old excuses and your limiting beliefs. But the people who are truly committed to change don't fear this. They embrace it. So here's my challenge to you and to me is to think about your career or your business. Where are you being held back by yourself? Whatever it is, take one simple, small step toward changing it this way week. Just one. And when that little voice in your head pops up, you know, the one that says, what if I fail? What if I'm not good enough? I want you to ask yourself this instead. What if I succeed? What if I'm more capable than I think? What if I stop holding myself back and finally go all in? Because when you start showing up for yourself, when you start climbing that mountain, you'll be amazed what you can accomplish. Not just for your clients, but for yourself. So thank you for spending time with me today. You know, it's a little bit more personal than other episodes of the Can Club. I want to dig a little bit more into the realities of the role. You know, I've done a lot of how to content and I think, you know, I potentially have been avoiding showing up when it comes to some of the challenges and the pitfalls and what's going on in my world as well, rather than just speaking from this position of wisdom and experience. But you know there are cracks, believe me, and I shared certainly one of them with you today, which is this self sabotage and I'm determined to address it. And I'm here to support you too. If this episode resonated with you, I would love to hear your thoughts. What's one way you've been self sabotaging? What's one step you're going to take to stop? You can reach out to me at LinkedIn just follow me, send me a DM Connect. You can also drop me an email. Hello thecamcoach.com or you can sign up to my newsletter, check out AccountMinded Me and you can sign up for it there. Links to everything are in the show notes tkcpodcast.com 045 Remember, the only thing standing between you and the version of yourself you want to be is the choice to start climbing. You got this. I've been your favorite cam coach, Warwick Brown, and I'm going to see you in another episode real soon.