Jordan Joyner seeks revenge on the vampires who killed his mother two years ago. He and fellow trainee Vince meet vampire hunter Misa at Starbucks, then face off against a vampire who claims he hasn't been defeated in four centuries. The fight is chaotic and absurd, with a broomstick as a weapon.
Ah, it's such a nice day out. Beautiful weather, great energy, and most of all, beautiful women. Sheesh. My name is Jordan Joyner, or JoJo for short. And that gorgeous piece of man on the screen is me. Aren't I cute? Today's an important day because it's the first step to getting my revenge. Two years ago, my mother was killed by vampires in a horrible massacre. And today I'm meeting with a seasoned vampire hunter that will show me the ways of hunting those bloodsuckers. They should be waiting for me at the Starbucks.
Ugh, it's so hot out here. I'm sweaty and sticky and none of these women are wearing any clothes. Ever heard of modesty?
Sheesh.
Anyways, I'm Vince Sapelli, and today is a big day for me because I'm finally going to begin my training. I come from a long lineage of vampire hunters, and I've finally reached the age of maturity. Which means I can start my journey to become a legendary vampire hunter. I haven't met my instructor yet, but they should be somewhere at the Starbucks. I'm going to go grab something to drink. Watch where you're going, you oaf.
That's my line. You almost spilled that disgusting drink on me. What even is that?
It's homemade kombucha. Not like you would know anything about being healthy.
Oh, we got a tough guy over here, huh? Let's do something about it then.
Fine by me.
And now you'll say the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Huh? How did you. Serves you right. Who's the oaf now?
If this is how you two guys are gonna act when you just met, then you will not be students of mine.
What? You're just a little girl. You can't possibly be the vampire hunter I came to see.
Shut up, you idiot. That's Misa. Misa? One of the most famous vampire hunters in the whole world.
You both are too immature to start training anyway. Come back to me when you're not consumed by your egos. Now shoot.
You're such an idiot. I waited my whole life for this.
Me? You're the one that can't watch where they're going. And you're not the only one that has a bone to pick with these vampires.
It was your arrogance that pushed me so away. If you weren't so cocky, maybe she would have trained us.
So not only are you clumsy, but you're also not self aware. Ugh.
Stay out of my way. I don't want to see your ugly face ever again.
Gladly. What does that Vince dude he think he is? That guy looks pretty peaceful. I think I'm gonna go let off some steam and mess with.
What is this insect doing disturbing my meditation? You really shouldn't have done that, boy.
Who the hell are you?
I have no reason to ever that question. But if it's your last request before you die, I will tell you. I am forward via Wama V. I'm a vampire.
A vampire.
And you're gonna be a dead man.
Well, I can't say I'm ready for this. But I can't let him get.
Too slow.
I wasn't aiming for your head. Get ready for my surprise broomstick attack.
Where did you get that? Doesn't matter. You'll still be dead.
Have a nice trip. Huh? How did you.
Yes.
I got him.
Not bad, human.
Nobody's brought me to my knees in 400 years. But this will be the last. Phew.
Ah.
I'm gonna pass out. This is too much. I don't have any tricks left up my sleeve. Die.
Die. Die.
What is the meaning of this?
What the hell am I even doing right now? I was spying on JoJo and now I'm here. Why did I come to help this oaf? I'm gonna die.
It was not my intention to take two lives today. But you have left me no choice. Such a shame. You are so young.
