Aging with Vitality and Strength, with Dr. Sandra Scheinbaum

If you had more energy, what would you like to do? What matters to you? What gives you such joy that you would want to wake up every morning and do that thing?

If you want to live like you matter, ditch the pills, look great, and feel Freaking amazing. You're in the right place. I'm Dr. Wendy Trubo.

And I'm Dr. Ed Levitan. Welcome to the Feel Freaking Amazing podcast.

Where we empower you to live a vibrant and healthy life by optimizing your structural, chemical, emotional, social, and spiritual lives.

Hold on to your hats.

Hello, and welcome back to the Feel Freaking Amazing podcast. We have an awesome guest today. It's Dr. Sandra Sheinbaum. She has devoted nearly four decades to clinical psychology, and Dr. Sheinbaum is renowned for her expertise in positive psychology, mind body medicine. She's also an author and host of the Health Coach Talk podcast that I was on a long time ago. And in collaboration with the Institute for Functional Medicine, she founded the Functional Functional Medicine coaching academy in 2014. So happy anniversary, Sandra. And it's shaping the future of holistic health care. So, Sandra, welcome. We're so excited to have you here today.

Oh, thank you, Wendy. I'm so excited to be here. Yes.

So I. I'm not on social a lot, but one day I was kind of flipping through, and you pop up in my feedback, and you're upside down. You're doing a handstand, and then you're lifting 50 pound plates. And if you've ever met Sandra in person, she is petite. Like, just cute and petite. And if you break five feet, I would be surprised. You're very petite, and you're extremely powerful. And I think what was so inspiring to me is, you know, you referenced something like, at my age, you were talking about yourself. And really our premise is that you be vital, vibrant, healthy, alive, able, and interested in intimacy till you're at least 100. And every decade is meant to get better than the one before. And you really personify this. And you coach the health coaches. And so I'm imagining that a lot of what you're coaching people on is mindset, Right? And. And I always add that word yet. And our kids are not, you know, we're married. Right. Like, that's my husband and my partner. So I don't allow the kids to say, I can't do that. You can say, I can't do it yet, or, I haven't mastered it yet, or I don't know how to do it yet. But you always have to add yet. So your brain knows that there's an opportunity and a possibility as opposed to that's just the way it is. Suck it up, buttercup. Right. Like you have to keep growing so you have a growth mindset. Can you talk a little about when did you become someone with a growth mindset and how do you train your coaches to do that?

Sure. Well, I was someone who had the opposite of a growth mindset. I was a failure mindset. I was in high school and college and when I would, I studied excessively because I probably have adhd. I thought I had learning disability. So I was like just so focused on not failing. But I was always convinced I was going to fail. And what I was fortunate to have the privilege of training with Dr. Albert Ellis, who is one of the fathers of cognitive behavior therapy, where you learn to catch these catastrophic thoughts, these irrational thoughts. So I was a professional at doing that. I was so good at saying, oh, something would happen, I'd have a setback. This is awful. This can't be happening. My day is ruined, My life is ruined. And it was all very much negative kind of thinking. I had panic attacks, a lot of anxiety worrying about the outcome. And by combining positive psychology, which at the time I was practicing didn't have a name yet, that didn't happen until the mid-90s. We're talking starting to do this back in, in the late 70s, early 80s. And the idea of focusing on what's right with you rather than what's wrong with you. And that's what I did when I was testing a lot of kids with learning disabilities. And I always focused on their strengths, which was, I was an anomaly. Cause it was mostly what's broken with you. So that's how I started to look at what my own well being and how, gee, how can I shift this? And so that idea that you can take a thought like, oh, it's all over, this is hopeless. I' never, I'll never gain strength. For example, I can't build muscle. I'm too old for that. And wait a minute. And so re evaluating. A lot of it is learning perspective. A lot of it is as you're saying yet. And you have this big audacious goal. Like my goal is to do an unassisted pull up. And every time I move an inch closer, I celebrate that. So it's that celebratory like, yes, I did it. And focusing there. And also the ability to look at, you know, each day is different, each moment to moment. And so you can change, you can change your, your emotional state. And so Going instead of saying, oh, I have to go to the gym or I don't have the energy to work out. Well, this is going to feel so great. I will feel so great after I've done it. And so it. And also the. It's habit, and that's in terms of coaching. So we train our coaches to help with change when change is hard and changing habits is so hard. But when working out becomes a habit, it's like, I don't think about it. I get up, I wash my face, I brush my teeth, and I immediately then go to my yoga mat and I start every day with a headstand and handstands and splits. And these are poses that I know if I don't do this on an everyday basis, I will lose it. Lose it or lose it. It feels good. Yeah.

What can we say to those people that have. Don't have that growth mindset that really start starting from. No, I'm. Oh, it's. I'm 50 years old. I'm supposed to lose my sex drive and have muscle aches and blah, blah, blah. Like, that's 90 of people that come in. Part of what we do is we give them a future. Like, no, that's not really supposed to be that way. That. That's. That is common, but it's not necessarily optimal. Nor do you really want to view your life that way. And there are still people that are just. Yeah, that's nice. Thanks for sharing.

Well, you can't open a closed mind, but you can give people possibility who are open to it and want it. But if they're not open, then they probably don't wind up in our practice. Honestly, they. They're not a good match. But. But I. I do think it's. But, yeah. What do you say?

Yeah. So you work with them at whatever stage of change they're at. And some are just perfectly content with where they are. Think of Homer Simpson. No desire. But some are contemplating. And I think you can work with people at any stage, and I've seen it. And it is really showing having to remove your own biases, which is so hard as a coach or as the practitioner, to really appreciate this person right now, even if they don't change one bit. And then you ask them what would they want their health for? If you had more energy, what would you like to do in your life? What matters to you? What gives you such joy that you would want to wake up every morning and do that thing? And they might say something that appeals to them.

Well.

I'd like To go out and play golf more or I would like to. Usually it has to do with family. You know, I want to be around to. To see my granddaughter get married or my daughter or my son. I want. Whatever it might be. And then. So then you backtrack and you know, well, and you can state, you know, well, people who. There's a lot of research now. There's a lot of evidence, and I've seen it personally, that somebody who gets out and walks every day can get a lot of energy back. What are your thoughts about that? Would that be interesting to you? Would you like to talk more about how you could work that into your day? Wherever they come back with, then you would continue that conversation. Well, it's hard. How could it become easier for you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely if it would be like just walking around the block, how likely would you be to do that? If we could say you'd feel better afterwards. Are you interested in doing a little experiment about that? They might say, well, I guess. Okay, well, let's focus on how you can start. When would you want to start that? Do you have shoes? You have walking shoes that are comfortable, and you can really keep dialing it down to maybe then your big goal, the first goal is they're going to get a better pair of shoes that won't hurt their feet when they're walking. And so, you know, and that would be a gain. That would. And then let's start with five minutes. Can you do five minutes? Oh, I can do probably 10 minutes. And then might come back and say, well, I felt good doing that. Well, what are your thoughts about upping it to 20 minutes? This comes from positive psychology. So a big part of our curriculum is positive psychology. And a big part of positive psychology is a study of character strengths. And so it might be that it's the questions that coaches ask. Was there a time when you really enjoyed learning something and you were in such an engaged state of flow that you really love that process? And they might think back, yeah, I remember what it was like when I was in third grade and school started and I got a new notebook and opened that new book, and I was excited about learning new things. And then draws the conversation back to, well, how can you take that now? Or conversation about wanting to live life now for your future self. And so. And people might say, well, you know, it sucks to get old, and I just see doom and gloom ahead as opposed to having that vivid picture of playing with grandkids or, you know, whatever it Is that is going to matter most to you at that time in the future?

I just wanted to, I just want to pause for a minute. Sandra, I'm sorry for interrupting you, but something you said I just really want to highlight. I disagree 100% that it sucks to get old. I think what sucks is to be aged. But the aging itself is not the problem. It's the mindset and the behaviors that come along with expecting to fail. But aging itself, like I'm so much happier now than I was in my teens, 20s, 30s and even 40s. I keep. Someone said to me I'm turning 50. I'm like, oh, you're going to love it. It's so much better than the 40s and the 30s. And so I just think that that mindset of it's. It's not the aging, it's the aged.

I love that. And that is exactly my perspective because I love how I feel right now. I have energy, I love what's to come in terms of things I'm looking forward to. And so when I hear my, you know, be with people who are my friends, my contemporaries and they're all sit talking about what aches, what bothers them. And I remember my mother who, she said she would hate it. I hate being with all the ladies. All they do is talk about what's bothering them and she would always try to change the conversation. And that's what I do now. I really have to have a boundary. I want to support them, but not to the point where I am part of that kind of thinking. And it takes work to have that. When you hear someone in that kind of very negative space to focus on and it's your self talk to say, well, it's not the same experience for me. I might not say that to them overtly. They won't be my friends anymore, but that's my thought. And also I like being with younger people. That's why I'm involved in like we are both in mindshare. Well, I'm probably one of the oldest people. I am one of the oldest people in the group. Many other events like that where I would be the oldest person and I take classes. I'm going to a pilates class later today and by far I could be the grandmother of most of the people in that class. But I like the energy of being with younger people.

I think you really, you keep highlighting things that I want to keep unpacking. So we always sit with, you know, the future you live into is, is guiding your day to day behavior. So if your expectation is you're going to be old, decrepit, hunched and beaten down and have no, no reason to be here, that's what you're going to do now. Right? Because there's no reason to. To expand and grow. But if you believe that you're meant to be vital, vibrant, healthy, able and interested in intimacy and grow and expand and make a difference forever, that's going to drive your behavior today too. So the thing about a powerful future. What's so powerful about a powerful future is that it actually does change your behavior right now and it can be negative or positively powerful.

Right.

You can have. Sounds like some of your friends are in the aged category and they're focusing on how little hope there is because they have no future, that's inspiring them.

Absolutely. I think having a meaning and purpose in life is so, so important. So having what I do with functional medicine. Coaching Academy, this mission to train health coaches. Our world is such. So chaotic. There are. People are getting sicker and sicker, as you know, and health coaches can be really instrument and guiding them through lifestyle change. So that's my mission. And so that is a big part of helping to thrive personally, because that mission for me is just beginning and I want to be able to help so many people have better quality of life through health coaching. So I love my work and often people retire at my age and they lose that or they end up sitting all day and even, you know, like, play. I'm at a table because I don't play. I don't play cards. I don't play canasta or mahjong. And that's the primary activity. Most of my friends and one of the reasons that I. I never liked cards, neither did my mother actually. And. But I don't want to be sitting that long. I would have spilkes. I would be like, I gotta get up. I gotta like.

Yeah, for the listener, spilkes is like, you gotta move. You gotta go somewhere. You can't sit still. You're on the go. This one has it. You have to sit all day and read a book. I'm happy to do that. I have a weird question. Are there ever people who come into the coaching program with you and you're like, no, sorry, no, you can't stay. Are there people who like, get kicked out?

We. Our program is 12 months and it's nurturing and it's personal transformation as well as professional. So they meet in cohort groups for two hours a couple times a month and they learn to coach. But they are coached themselves and it's that part that is so key. So they may come in with expectations of what a coach does. Like, oh, I'm gonna provide meal plans for people, I'm going to interpret their labs. Well, you didn't go to medical school for that. You didn't have that kind. That's not what a coach does. It's more the. You inspire people to change, you focus. That's the power. Why it's so powerful. But we get a lot of people who are from healthcare. We have a lot of medical doctors training with us and they have the hardest time. They have a hard time because they're like the doctor dictator. Okay, I have the plan for you. This is what's wrong. Basically, just do it. And so they have to unlearn that to learn the coach approach, which is very, very effective if they choose to become a coach. If they are continuing to practice medicine, let's say they are more effective in guiding their patients to change. But it is a learning process of undoing and as opposed. It's like not telling people, but it is asking the right questions. And it's client centered because health coaching comes from humanistic psychotherapy. And so that is where that unconditional positive regard, client centered approach comes from. And so it is very much being able to appreciate that person you are working with that they have the ability to change and you are helping them to feel empowered to make those choices that will improve their health status. So, yes, there are. We have never had people we kick out, but they learn. They learn a new way of being both personally and professionally.

So where can people find you, Sandra? Sure.

Well, Our website is functionalmedicinecoaching.org Instagram. My personal Instagram is Dr. Sandy S A N D I and a functional med coach, also on Instagram. And those are probably the best ways. We're also on Facebook as well and.

We'Re going to post the clip of you upside down and lifting crazy heavy weights. But if they want more, they can go follow you directly. So from both of us and all the listeners who I'm hoping are inspired by you, because I'm inspired by you. Thank you for being here. It's really a pleasure to have you on and I can't wait to see how many people you inspire. Like, you're really, you're really truly inspirational, Sandy. So thank you.

Oh, well, thank you, thank you for having me.

And to the listeners, thanks for joining us for another episode of the Feel Freaking Amazing podcast. And as always, we look forward to talking to you. Next time, don't go it alone.

It's not a social journey until others join.

Share this with your friends.