5harathFounding Growth Lead, Willow Voice

Dating Yourself in Your 40s - Undefeated Underdogs

14 Sept 2023 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

1:58

In this interview segment, Speaker A reflects on reaching his mid‑40s and realizing that much of his earlier life was shaped by external expectations and mimetic desire rather than authentic self‑direction. Through years of healing, introspection, and what he calls “depatterning,” he has begun a process akin to Carl Jung’s individuation—discovering his true self and designing a life that aligns with it, even if that life doesn’t involve building a billion‑dollar company. A central theme is the question, “What’s enough?” which he poses to himself and his clients, probing the point at which personal ambition meets satisfaction. Speaker B offers brief affirmation, underscoring the conversational, supportive tone of the dialogue.

To use Steve Jobs' terminology, you'll make a dent in the universe, right?
Yes.
And, and what I'm at this point in my life, what's interesting is I, through lots of healing and, and introspection and, you know, variety of other, um, pursuits, what I came to realize and, and appreciate in, in myself is that for many, many years, I was living the life of other people. And, you know, it only, it helps that I'm in my, I'm dating myself now, Sharath. I'm in my mid-40s and I've lived long enough and I've done like enough introspection and looked back to see how I didn't have as much agency and free will in crafting my path as I thought I had. Hmm. That, you know, I was absolutely influenced by things in my environment. And whether you want to call it mimesis, mimetic desire, what have you. And what I'm starting to really appreciate in my own life, and it took many years of depatterning, seeing all my tendencies, and ultimately Carl Jung would call this individuation, but it's how do I really get to understand who I am as a person and then ultimately design a life around that, even if it means that I'm not going to ever start a billion-dollar company or run a billion-dollar venture capital fund. And at a certain point, I had to look in the mirror and say, okay, what's enough? What's enough? And it's a question that I ask pretty much all my clients, like, what's enough to you? And, and when you get it, is it gonna be enough? Right?