Aaron Marcus, a stand-in on an NBC series, watched a director praise an actor's performance while secretly asking for a retake with less intensity. The director disliked the star. Marcus learned that even top industry professionals lie, and advises actors to filter feedback, avoid taking it personally, and trust only a small circle of honest peers.
Many years ago, I had a full-time job as an actor. I was a stand-in for about a year and a half on a groundbreaking NBC television show. They hired a well-known director to come in and work on this specific episode. During one of the scenes, I overheard the director talking to the star of the show that completely changed the way that I think when I'm talking with other industry professionals. It was a huge learning experience for me and one that you could only get from working on a set, and it's one that has helped me navigate and stay sane— well, at least most of the time— as a working actor for the past 40 years. If you want to learn how to handle your acting career in a smart and healthy way, you've got to watch this video. Okay, let's get started. Hey, I'm Aaron Marcus, and this is— this is— this was a life-altering story that I want to share with you. So here's the setup. I've been a stand-in on the show for a long time, and I always loved to sit by the monitors. I would sit behind everybody. I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to get in anybody's way, but I would listen. I might be looking in the other direction, I might be looking over here. I'm listening to everything they say because I find it really helpful. This on-the-set training that I got from being a stand-in early on in my career was just invaluable to me. So here's the scenario. This famous director not only personally but professionally disliked the star of the show, and I got it. I didn't like the guy either. And then there was a scene that was about to be shot, and there was a wall between where the monitors are and where the scene is taking place. So The actor cannot see the director at all, and we're just watching everything on the monitor. A take happens, and the director is just furious. He's just angry, and he takes his headphones off, slams them on the ground, and just kind of goes like this, you know, in front of the people sitting by the monitor, walks around this wall, walks up to this actor. And says, that was great, just what I needed. Thank you very much. Could you do me a favor? Look, just in case I want to play around in editing, would you mind doing just one other take? And this time maybe just bring about— bring it down, you know, maybe 10, 15%. You know, just bring it down a little bit. But that would be great. Thank you so much. He walks back behind the wall So the actor is not seeing him at this point and picks up his headset, puts them on, and before he sits down, he does this. I, I was just shocked. Even at that level, you're talking about a star, you're talking about a well-known director. Even at that level People are lying to each other. And the takeaway that I got from that, and it completely changed the way I talk to people and, and listen to what they have to say, is that yes, I will listen to what anybody has to say to me, but I filter everything because I learned that people don't necessarily tell you the truth. They might say something horrible about your performance, and who knows, maybe they're having a bad day. They might say wonderful things about your performance, and it might have been a bad, bad performance. Who knows? So listen to everything and filter everything. And I'll tell you, one of the things that— that it's my mantra. Is in our industry, you can't take anything personally because you just don't know what's really being said and if there's any validity. Yes, I do have friends that I trust, people whose words that I listen to and I take in, but for the most part, I hear it, filter it, and then I'll decide if there's any validity to what they have to say. So I just want to make sure that you hear this and use this same kind of philosophy. philosophy because it can be really tough in our business, and we can take things personally, and it can make you a very unhappy and unhealthy person. And I wanted to ask if you have ever experienced somebody saying something to you that wasn't necessarily the truth. Please share it with us. And you don't have to give names because the names don't matter at all. It's, it's what you have to say. Please share it here so We can learn from each other. If you haven't done this yet, please subscribe to the channel, click the notification bell so you always know when a new video has been uploaded. If you like it, give it a thumbs up because that is actually very helpful. And in just a couple seconds, you're going to see a video. It's another bonus video about how do you know if you're really a good actor? I've really enjoyed shooting that one, and I want to share it with you again. So anyhow, I'm Aaron Marcus, and I can't wait to talk with you again next week. See ya.
