It’s Gonna Be Okay: Overcoming Anxiety and Supporting Mental Health in Kids

I'm just waiting for her to pop in real quick and we will get started. So I'm really super excited about this chance to talk with her. Alright, so good to see you. Awesome. People are hopping in. I'm just waiting for Dr. Rowe to pop on in and we'll start with the interview with her. I'm really excited to have the opportunity to talk with her today. She's a friend and colleague and so just to share some of her insights about kids mental health. So just wait for her to pop in and we'll get started. So good to see everybody's hopping in. A lot of excitement about the topic of kids mental health. It's a big issue right now in our country. As many of you know, mental health issues with kids has been huge. It was going on a lot of issues before the pandemic. And so one of the reasons I wanted to wave you to have Dr. Rowe come on is she's been talking about this for over 20 years, which is huge to think that someone who's an expert in this. Here we go. Joined. As a moderator.

We go.

So I think I. There we go. Excited for her to share her insights. Hey, how we do? Doing well. Doing well.

And you're doing awesome.

Trying to figure this Instagram stuff out. So. And here you are.

A little side note, I'm like, so I love doing all that. I, you know, I don't. I think when you're not. When you're fearless, you don't care if you mess up in technology. Right? Everyone's a little forgiving and it's always changing Instagram. So, you know, so anyway, okay, that's right.

It is changing. That's the reason why I've married my techie. So when she's.

You're a genius, you can handle it. I have every faith in you. But anyway, I'm so grateful for this conversation and it's, it's, you know, it's. We both support kids and families and I heard you talking before I got on that. You know, it is a time of crisis. It is a time of people and struggle, struggling with mental health across the globe. And so I love having these conversations because it brings hope to people and real strategies.

Which is awesome. And one of the things that's really cool that I, you know, talking with you back and forth. We've been colleagues for maybe two years now. 30 friends.

31. 31. Erin. Yeah, I take good care of my skin.

So this. So tell us, tell us your journey because 30.

Yeah, you know, 30.

30 years. Ago, their kids had issues back then and it's changed. So kind of walk us through your journey as a kids.

Yeah, I mean, you know, 30 years ago, you know, in the 90s when I started, you know, it was just different. So people did behavioral mental health work first and then psych meds became, you know, the thing to do when people couldn't get better. Right. And so we were much more attuned to that. We need to make behavioral change in order for real change to happen. People lived a more balanced lifestyle and, you know, they weren't, you know, particularly with kids. We weren't, you know, you know, every day, you know, activity and, you know, six hours of homework and all these other things that was going on and we still had a lot of, you know, working parents, but I think that at that time it would be more likely that you might have one parent working part time. So there, there happened to be less stress, I think in general in the family and, and also, you know, toxins, genetic mutations, they, we didn't have the same, you know, impact. And food has changed dramatically during this time. So, so what has happened in this 30 years is we now do psych meds first and everyone thinks they don't have to change their behavior and they don't understand that it's the micro actions that actually create a lot. And I'm saying that as a point of parent empowerment because parents have a lot of power. That's what my work is about. That's what this podcast is going to be okay, is about, is really to give you those resources and those tools that you can, can take action and should take action. And just a dramatic increase, Erin, in like autism, for me, I mean it was virtually non existent. I mean I definitely worked with kids in the early 90s that were on the spectrum, but it's just exponentially exploded. And during the pandemic, you know, what does the research say? Survey research says anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and OCD have all dramatically increased. Anxiety is now the number one mental health condition. And psych med usage has dramatically increased. So we have massive increase in psych usage, psych med usage. We have a massive increase in clinical issues. We also have a massive increase in psychiatric hospitalization, police involvement with mental health, and hospital rooms and ERs being used for a place for out of control behaviors. So we're not getting better with this increase in psych meds and families and kids are distressed.

What's interesting, I realized that back when you started behavioral techniques, family things, like a lot of stuff we're going back to actually was the main thing that y' all did. It's almost like back to the future. We're going back to some of the older things now. We've got this knowledge base about, you know, some of the cool things you're doing with neurobiofeedback and some PMF and all these other cool technologies we didn't necessarily know about back then. How you're like, how do you feel like these technologies?

Yeah, I mean, so, you know, what has happened is very activated nervous system. So, so I got involved in like neurobiological techniques and methods, you know, neurofeedback, biofeedback and now pemf. Because you just can't deal with a person without a calm brain if they're so activated. Our children are very activated, parents are very activated. Because if you're, you know, we're both special needs parents, like if our kid is having a hard time, of course we're going to be distressed. Right. But it's like the challenges don't ever seem to have a solution for parents. And I think that's the part that's so hard. And parents feel, they feel. So they're on the worry train, they're driving it and they don't feel like a solution is there. So these tools, particularly neurofeedback and biofeedback, man, they've been around a real long time. So what people are recognizing is that they do have to regulate the nervous system. My work is, you know, calm brain, happy family, and then once they regulate, they can do behavioral work. Right. And 30 years ago, I'm not saying people weren't dysregulated, but they weren't at maximum capacity. That is what's different. It is the norm for people, for me, Erin, that they're in fight, flight or freeze. They're not. So just to understand the nervous system, if you're new to us, you know the ans, we have a parasympathetic relaxed, we have sympathetic dominant. And the more you activate, the more you push to sympathetic dominant, the more the nervous system wants to stay there. And once you're in this constant activation, it's just very easy to go into fight, flight or freeze. And that's that kind of out of control behaviors that we're seeing with kids. And more people come to me in full on crisis and not in any judgment. It's just they don't know, they don't think what they're seeing is gonna lead to full on crisis. And I think that is what's different, right? You know, like, wow, just so many kids, like shut down, school refusal, punching walls, you know, totally emotionally distressed, panic attacks. That is my norm today. Erin, that is not. That is not anything unusual anymore.

Well, it's interesting because you're talking about that, because in my world, in the adult functional medicine world, it was interesting because I talked to people that are doing this 30 years ago and then say someone coming with Hashimoto's or chronic fatigue or whatever, brain fog, and they do a few changes, a few supplements, dietary things, and they get better. And now it's like people aren't just. They're coming with five problems and you're the sixth doctor they've seen. And it's, it's just the level of complexity is. Even people have been doing this for decades. Like, it's. Something's changed, you know, so there's the societal breakdown, there's the stressors. Like, what are the things you're seeing as far as potential, just so people can know, like what might be contributing to this? What are things that parents can look for that in schools, homes, stressors, screens, technology, what things of going on that might be.

Yeah, I mean, there's so many things and it's multifactorial and I don't want people to be overwhelmed. Like, we're going to talk about things and then you're going to pick an area and say, I'm going to work on this one area and I'm going to look for changes and you're going to work on this area for a month, 30 days. Like, don't do it for three days and be like, it didn't work. I tried gluten free. You mean one meal. So. So, you know, I think honestly the number one thing, Erin, is accepting stress. Like, just like this is stress. I'm going to be stressed, I'm going to be overloaded and not recognizing that there is an effect. You know, I recently was talking to a mom and I was like, so, you know, we're here and your child has OCD and who's anxious in the house. And she was like, not me. And I was like, that's really interesting because I just saw this, this and this, and they're all perfectionist behaviors and that's anxiety. And she was like, no, I don't see the impact. And I was like, okay, my job while you're here is to show you that there is an impact. And so, you know, we, it's not a blame. Somebody is coming to me and I Do you know, I don't just work with children. I work the ecosystem. Right. So what are the factors that are influencing it? So accepting stress and parents don't realize that we have to share our calm. We got to keep it together when our kids are distressed. And there's a lot of magic in that. Instead of being like, oh, you know, but yes, your kid is hard. Right. But what are other things? Poor diet. I mean, you know, right. You see that every day. You know, what you put in your mouth affects your brain. And yes, screen time. Somebody's talking about bullying. There's a lot more social pressure on kids today. And you know, some of it is good, like in the sense that when we have kids that are high like that are concerned about their academics or are concerned about other kids or the environment, they sort of put a level of set the tone for the rest of the class. It can be in a good way. Right. So if you're dysregulated and you're with a bunch of regulated kids, they can co regulate off those other kids too. But when kids are in environments or pressure cooker, and I see this, Erin, with kids that are just like straight A students and they fall apart. So we, we have to be mindful of the environment we have on our kids. I mean, you know, you and I are both alternative schoolers. I have one child that's homeschooled, another goes to a Montessori school. And that works for us because we're like divergent thinkers. And my kids also say no to things. That's just not going to work in a public school. I'm just going to say, so. What are all those pieces? Is there family stress? Is there somebody else in your family that really has a clinical issue? And please don't think it's genetics that are going to impact them. It's the way you're managing your clinical issue that is really, really important. And you know, we just have to look at what are all those pieces in the ecosystem. And maybe your kid has a learning issue or an attention issue and there's a lot of pressure around that. I mean, ADD is incredibly common. And you know, even if your child is just inattentive, it means that they don't get stuff done without reminders. And that causes a lot of friction in relationships. And so that's going to break down the parent relationship and the in there. So there is, I'm sure I'm leaving out a million things, but. And infections and toxins, genetic mutations, these are all factors that are impacting kids mental health. But ultimately, what are we teaching kids? How are they managing stress and what coping skills do they have that is really critical in their defining not just their immediate mental health, but their future mental health.

One thing I've recognized with some of these kids as well, a lot of them are, you know, whether you use the word, you know, neurodivergent or neurodiverse or whatever, it's the kids with a little, little adhd, a little ocd, a little dyslexia, they actually have this almost like this magic. It's almost like a superpower. They can. My son's got dyslexia. He can look at something and see like the patterns, but he actually beat me at chess for the first time at 12, like you know, a month ago. It's like for these kids who like think a little different and learn a little different, totally 20 years ago, there's a lot more, give a lot more grace, so to speak, with their different styles. And it seems like now our educational systems become so reginated that these kids need just a little leeway, another year to develop their math skills or two years, another. We don't really have that. And they get labeled as having learning issues, learning deficits, when it's just literally these kids are going to, you know, one third of all entrepreneurs have dyslexia. I'm like, these kids could be the future. You know, the brilliant, you know, Elon Musk types that are creating, you know, spaceships, the moon stuff. And like, how do you see, Like I look at the parents and say, hey, mom and dad, Dad's a scientist, mom's smart. You kind of see this is going in the families. But at the same time, some of the issues, anxiety, OCD components.

Yeah.

Are being magnified. Like, how do you talk with parents in that ecosystem you mentioned where the parents has these traits magnifying their kids.

Okay, so first of all, we both have 12 year old dyslexics who are just awesome kids. Oh my God. And your son Khalil, I mean, he's like the mayor. I mean, when we're places, we're like, where the heck is Khalil? Because he'll have like 12 friends with him, you know what I mean? He's like. And then we go out and they're like, hey, hey, hey, he's gifted. I mean, he's really gifted socially. And so for both of us, we recognize the specialness of our kids and we are in a place where we could provide an alternative. And many in my years in homeschooling. You know, back in the day when I was very, very active. When you have a teenager, it's different. They, you know, are much more independent. There are a lot of people that made sacrifices and chose to homeschool their kids. And a lot of my friends were former teachers, which was pretty cool. But what do you do? So, first of all, we have to get off this pressure wheel that if your kid isn't following along with the pack in the exact way that, you know, they're gonna. They're gonna be. If you don't do it, they're never gonna make it in life. They're gonna, you know, be living in the basement. And you're right. So about one third of entrepreneurs have dyslexia. The number one common characteristic of millionaires is dyslexia. It's a divergent mind. How about cool? Yes. The most common characteristic. You know, back in the day when I would work in my shishi poo poo schools, I like to call. So they bring me in as a consultant, and I literally learned that I would come in and be like, listen, I'm not going to work with you in your school if you don't bring in a dyslexic reading program. And it was because it was filled with dyslexic in these very expensive schools because their brain is just so creative. And when we don't try to put our kids in a box. So first of all, what I try to do is say, you know, okay, what, Maybe your kid does have to be in a public school. But I'm going to tell you, the emotionally secure child that I have would not be the human being he is in his case, if I put him in a public school, because he couldn't even identify letters until he was seven. And we were doing two years of dyslexia reading instruction, zero pressure. So that is not always allowed. Now, you have a right to an individualized education. So get yourself a great advocate and put a program into place. There's a lot of problems with identifying children early. This just isn't about dyslexia. To me, dyslexia is a piece of cake to identify. They make it like it's so hard to see. It's ridiculous. But it's like, I could work with a four and a half year old and tell you, I mean, I knew my Giancarlo was dyslexic at like, two and a half. I was like, this kid's so smart, and he can't even get his Color straight. We got ourselves a problem here, you know, But I think getting help early, really tapping into their gifts is huge. If you don't get your kid to feel confident regardless of what the problem is, that's where the problem is going to happen. Because it doesn't matter if your kid's a straight A student, if they don't love themselves and they have self confidence, there's going to be a problem. They're going to be high risk for substance abuse, lousy relationships, failures. This is just what happens. So that disability doesn't have to be the thing that blocks them. It's their attitude towards it and the resources that they have. And really having lots of open conversations about, you know, okay, so this is hard for you, but this isn't like, why isn't it? And just being super open. I know both of us, we don't. We're like, you're dyslexic, so, you know, like. And we really try to get them to do different things, to really, really, really do that. Now I'm going to say my Giancarlo because I identified it so early. He's fully remediated, he's above grade level in his reading. He'll never be a good speller. I hate to be negative, but hello. And he uses voice dictation. And, and his teacher, he turned to this big presentation on suspension bridges and she was like, did you help him do this? And I was like, he used voice dictation. This is. Now you don't need to be a good speller anymore. So.

But so I'm hearing you say with some of these kids, like allowing them to focus and be good at what they're good at while not focusing on.

Yeah.

You know, these, these normative. Would you talk to that something I told parents a lot, like this idea of a normal. What's a normal six year old boy versus a six year old girl. What's normal?

No.

How do you even have this discussion when there is, in my opinion, there really is no such thing as normal. It's like we have these charts and we say, you don't feel the chart, therefore you're abnormal. It's like, no, you just are being you. Like, how do you.

That's a great engagement. And you know, you know, in terms of public schools. Right. Your child does have a right to an individualized education plan if they're identified as a special needs student, if they're a 504 student, meaning they're allowed certain accommodations all the way through, even employment. Right. But through, through college. So, you know, get support for that and get the right type of help. So, so one, if your child has a problem, don't put the blinders on. Start working on it and getting solutions in place. It's a lot easier to deal with early now if your kid's 21. You know, I got a 21 year old coming out doing an intensive with me. It's never too late. Okay. It's just a lot easier. And you know, what's developmentally normal, what's clinically issue when there's a problem and you've really tried your best to remedy it, you know, they blow up easily, they're having a hard time reading, they never complete any task related to learning. Get support and you know, whether that's going to a school, but probably really trying to find your own private help is really where to start. And I think that, you know, we can only connect the dots looking back, but when we do look back, we make sense out of it. So now also with that being said, it is normal for kids to get upset. You know, it's normal for kids to have tantrums. It's normal for a teenager to tell you to F off once in a while. But if it's the regular, you got yourself a problem. So we, that's the distinguisher. But I think what parents need to know is don't compare yourself to anybody else. Don't compare yourself to what other people are doing. And I think when you make that choice, you're very freed by it. You don't owe people an explanation. Right. My older one is not going to college. Oh. People like to give me an earful about that. How. Dr. Rowe, you have a doctorate. Yeah. So I don't feel an obligation. So I think letting go of feeling like you have to explain things to a relative or any of those things again, meeting your kid where you're at and supporting their mental health and helping them understand if they have OCD or ADD that it is harder but fixable and manageable. So. And really being that role model at home and really giving your kid that support is really where to start, you know, and it's not easy, as my dad Tony would say, it's easy with the mouth. So we have to do the work and we have to show up for that. And I think, you know, when you get off the worry train, like you're getting all the parents, they're scared, right? I mean, both of us have been scared with our own kids, you know, and you just have to be like, okay, I'm scared. Who am I going to talk to about who's in my back pocket? Who, you know, can I, can I listen to Dr. Aaron? Can I listen to this podcast? Can I call a professional and just take a common sense approach and really concentrate on the emotional well being of your child and getting them the right support? Yeah.

One interesting thing you said, you talked about self esteem and one thing that I will share with patients, I actually had a realization probably four or five years ago when all the bullying stuff was going on that I actually was bullied as a kid. I realize it. I thought that there's all some kid all the kids don't like and that just happened to be me. There's all some kid that all the kids picked off and just, it just happened to be me. But I had a stable family. I went home to safe environment. And so my question I asked myself was if I'd gone through that today with social media and people can reach at home and you know, not having self esteem, you know, because it's, it's just a different world. Like how, how do you talk with parents about their kids? They lack self esteem because we judge each other based on all these things you mentioned. What would you recommend to a parent to like come alongside their kid and help develop self esteem so they can be comfortable with who they are and realize, hey, your, your ADHD might make it hard to focus in school, but it's gonna make you a great business person, a great salesperson. It's gonna make you, you know, things that require interactive people like my, like my son, they make you great at it.

Right?

So how do you like, what are your, what are your, what are some of your thoughts and recommendations of parents who are kind of in that place where they have a kid, they that blacks that because that's the new normal and kid to kind of help them realize, no, you are a person of value worth and it's a superpower.

We developed this or the president, who knows? You know, I mean certainly Khalil could be the mayor. I'm just, I'm just saying, you know what I mean? He'll be great at closing the sale, I'll tell you that. You know what I mean? He had like a group of tribe. He could be a cult leader if he wanted to be because he had like. No offense, no offense, but a tribe. He'll be a leader, but where do you start? It's really about giving your kids opportunities for autonomy. So we are bubble wrap parenting our kids and we. They don't have the same opportunities that we did to run free and make decisions and really mess up. And. And when kids are autonomous and they have success with independence, and it doesn't mean in these massive ways, it's a lot of little ways. Throughout the day, they feel good about themselves. And in this time when more than 50% of children have a mental or physical health problem, everybody's got something. And perfection is so boring and not attainable.

And.

And it's pretty funny when people think that they have to be perfect. It really is. I've given that. I don't know. I've never had that feeling, you know, so what we have to do is give our kids chances to really do things independently. And I do that all the time. Like, you know, I know you had this. Didn't you have it on social with Khalil building a fire? Or was it Becky who sent it to me? So letting your kids, you know, have these kind of independent experiences, like, I do it a lot through cooking. My boys have been independent cookers since, like, forever. And they feel so awesome at it. Like, they feel great at it. So you have to have wins without all of this over parenting, right? And that's how you start shifting, right? If we're always intervening and we're always, like, rescuing our kids. Rescuing our kids. No, like today, you know, Giancarlo has. Has a cold. And he. I was like, you're going to school today because tonight you have a presentation and then you're off for five days. Like, we gotta get you in. And he's like, okay, I'll go in late. He's just got a cold, you know, and it's. He's. He's almost over it. And I had to bring up something with him that he didn't want to talk about. He's like, I don't want to talk about this. And I was like, oh, wait a second, hold on. This, this and this. We outlined it, we talked about it, and he. He got that right. So crosstalk. That seems out of sync. So what happens is we really need to reinforce for our kids, you know, one, we have to push them outside their comfort zone. Really talk about what are strategies that bring in coping skills and really foster and provide opportunities for independence. And when your kids mess up, don't rescue them. Instead, have problem solving talk. That is really, really important to do that because we're creating kids just are not independent thinkers. And that's part of why kids are very distressed.

I remember reading this interesting study out of California, probably 10 years ago, and I was talking about kids in inner city, like the most high risk of high risk skills in California. And it was looking at how do you create kids that are safe, pushing barriers in a safe environment. And was looking at playgrounds like for elementary kids. And it was an observational study and had one group of kids at the playground, they have no, they had no fence around the area and woods and stuff. And all the kids stayed close to the actual physical swings and stuff. But as soon as they put a bear fence, all of a sudden all the kids are going to the fence and wanting to go over the fence and have to be regulated. But it's almost like having these really clear guidelines, barriers, not this amorphous, like do what you want to do, be who you want to be, you know, but actually having these borders actually fostered more discovery, self discovery, pushing the boundaries a little more and feeling confident about stuff. And when I read about a lot of people from times past when they're, you know, 12 years old, literally 12 year old kids were doing, you know, what we consider man type jobs these days. You know, how do we, how do we get our kids to develop that kind of confidence in a world that really says you should be a kid till you're 25 or 30? Because, you know, you know, I'm saying, like, how do we develop that integrity.

That, I mean, first of all, it has to occur outside the actual world. We only reinforce behaviors relative to academics. And that's not to say academics are important. They, they are, but we need well rounded individuals. And when we only allow for that academic development, they lack emotional core, they lack relatedness. And you know, I agree with you. I mean, I feel like people are lacking integrity. It's my number one characteristic of anybody in my life, has to be a very high integrity person. It sounds like so silly, but it's hard to find those people in the world and it develops early and it also is a lot of messaging from us, but it really is through lifetime experiences within your family and really stretching your kids outside of what they know and giving them chances. We can't, you know, it's small ways, like I said, like allowing your kids to be independent in cooking, like, you know, getting your kids to manage activities on their own, reinforcing it. And I know it's harder when your kid has a clinical issue, but I have lots of kids I work with that have real independence and then really providing a lot of positive reinforcement and praise and excitement for it. You know what my, both my boys love to make soup. And I'm like, oh, who's making the soup? You know, and they, you know, they light up, they feel good about it. You know, they get a little snarky, competitive with, oh, my soup is better than yours. I'm like, oh, oh, those are some fighting words, you know, But I think there's so many ways getting your kids to volunteer, you know. You know, in some type of capacity, really prioritizing those things and helping your kids see a balance in life. You know, so many kids I work with are over scheduled, and, you know, and that's not okay. I mean, what are we teaching our kids? We're teaching our kids that it's perfectly normal to be in overdrive. So that is not sustainable. That is a fallacy we've sort of created and have gotten into some of these stress points. But, you know, I think parents get themselves pretty trapped. And I get it. I get it. But you can pull out, and it might mean you have to change some of your friendship circles to too. You know, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. You know, I talk to parents all the time, and I recently had somebody who was like, do you know Everybody's got a 504 plan? And I was like, yeah. She goes, yeah. None of my friends, they were sharing that. They all had a 504 plan and all this other stuff. And I raised my hand into the group and I was like, hey, I'm thinking of getting a 504 plan. Like, oh, this one's got it, and this one's got it. She's like, what is going on? Like, why are we not helping each other? You know, so look for people in your life that share your values and try to bring those opportunities in for your child where they can be more independent and also focus on emotions. I think we don't focus on emotions. And, you know, are you using feeling words besides anger and irritated, like, you know, and talking about them with their kids? Not to sound like a therapist, but our strongest leaders have a very high eq, and it's the EQ like our kids. You know, your kid is an extrovert, My kid's an introvert, but they're both high EQ people. And my Giancarlo is a reader of people, so he's like, I don't know about that. Where Khalil's like, I'm just gonna love you up and come on over. You know, that's my Max, too. And, you know, they both have that quality about them that is just developed over Time. Because we really supported their emotional development and how they feel about people, and I think that's really important.

Now, one of the resources you're making available and you bring a lot of experts together, is actually a podcast, like my super fan Becky Binge listening to for the last couple weeks. She is your super fan. Yes. One of your many. Your thousands. But so I think the cool thing about it, it's literally you're getting your expertise as you talk with people.

Yeah.

And you're making it accessible. So could you talk about some of the topics talked about so far and what? And what? And what? Because you obviously have a clinic.

You have a clinic. I mean, I. I work with people.

Not just the TV personality. Right.

And also we have our. Brain insiders group details to come soon. And there's limited number of slots, so we're gonna. We're gonna talk about that later. But so we work with people all over, wherever they're at. There's different resources. But this podcast, it's gonna be okay with Dr. Roseanne. I want this to be a parenting resource. The parenting resource for behavior and mental health. Because this is a crisis. So these are short episodes. They're about 12 to 15 minutes. They're mostly me. And there's lots of themes. And then there are parent episodes. So some of them are just parents and some are parent experts. But everybody has used the solution that they're talking about in that episode, and we're breaking it down. So it's about actual tools and tips, and we've lots of themed episodes. So we had. I just did a theme, a whole bunch of episodes on neurofeedback. You can sit down and listen to them all in less than an hour. Right. And then we have OCD coming up. We have ADD and executive functioning. So I am pulling what everybody has asked me, and I'm starting with those. But when people are in my Natural parenting solutions Facebook group, we're actually asking them what they want. And I'm creating episodes based on when you have a struggling kid, what do you need? What are the tools? And that's what even our Comrain insiders group is really going to be about. It's a more direct way to get a hold of me. But this podcast is everybody needs a lifeline, and not everybody can afford to work with me one on one. And also sometimes people, they just need to hear and learn and understand before they jump in. And I get that. So I wanted to give people that ability.

There's a certain amount of. I don't Want to use the word. You have people to get educated, you know, indoctrinated. You have to hear things over and over again when you were talking to people and telling them things they've never heard anywhere else. And therapies and ideas and tap. You're a big time. Why don't you talk about tapping a little bit?

Because that's something that people and you did it.

And when I first heard about, I'm like, this is the most ridiculous thing ever. Yeah, it's so dumb. And then it's literally like, oh my.

Gosh, this is amazing.

Like, this is what we did with our kids. And we had no idea that was them down. We had no idea. And these things that take. You have to hear it 25, 000 times and then you're like. And so like, like things like that, Like, I think people have to hear it.

Yeah, somatic, Somatic techniques. And I talk a lot about practical things. Right. Because again, you know, we need different types of tools. So as much as I love my technology, because I do and neurofeedback and things like that, I want people to have practical tools. But EFT tapping is an evidence based approach. It's a newer approach, but it's not that new. It's been around a long time. The name has changed from thought field to EFT tapping. And it kind of exploded with a book from my neighbors on my street when I was a kid. And it's, it's awesome. And really what is it? It's a technique where you're tapping along meridians that have been identified to regulate the nervous system. And then you're pairing it with affirmations that get at the subconscious brain. So, and these points are very prescriptive and you go through it three times. But with kids I like to just do one or two spots. So you could do a spot like. This is called a karate chop. That's not my favorite spot. I like right under the clavicle. And you, you would do something like, very, very simple. You could tap on a child. You can tap on yourself. I tap on myself all the time when I'm driving because I get kind of spinny when I'm driving. Or if you're the person in front of me driving too slow, you're getting on my nerves. So I got to calm myself down. So I've gotten much better. But the tapping. And so you would just say like, even though this person in the slow lane is really annoying me, I love and accept myself and I'm going to be Great. I'm not going to be anxious and I'm really going to be great. And if you really want to do it, you go through these series and when you tap along these meridians, it sounds crazy, but because you're balancing the energy flow, you're pulling yourself into a parasympathetic state and your brain is hearing the affirmation. It calms you down and you keep using the technique over and over until you feel more regulated. The sweet spot is around three. And I have lots of blogs on this on my website. You can go to doctorroseanne.com my blog, and then just search, pull the search bar, you'll see eft. But it is a tool, right? And it's only as good as we use it. And you know, dear kids, my kids will tap my kids. I'm like, okay, here we go, let's go. They don't like doing the full round, but they'll do one spot.

In my dog. We actually have a little trampoline for her and she'll actually go out there and she's out there probably 20 minutes a day. And she's got some anxiety issues. I feel like it's helped with her anxiety a lot to help her deal with stuff because she's kind of an introvert and keeps stuff to herself and so kind of like just, you know, you can tell and she'll go outside. So now she's learned I'm getting stressed and anxious. She goes outside and jumps for 20 minutes and it's not tapping, obviously, but for her. And I think the, one of the ways it actually works is because you're doing a lot of neuroregulation. You're actually, you're actually getting increased G forces and actually helping open and close your intervertebral discs. So it's actually improving school spinal blood flow. There's lyons and data on increased pressuring your brain, actually.

And I'm going to tell you something, Dr. Aaron, that is the running EMDR works and the running theory is that it does increase blood flow. So wouldn't it be the same for eft tapping? Right. You know, makes, makes a whole lot of sense, right? We need to do, we need to do like pre and post cues and MRIs on that. That's what we need to do after in our free time. But I also want to say something about, just because I know your, your kids so well that your daughter who's anxious, she's an empath and she is very connected to other people and she picks up on how other People feel. Mm, mm.

That's news to me.

Which makes sense. I mean, we go on vacation together. So we're going to the Dominican Republic soon. So I can't wait. Becky, when you're there. But I watch her. She is very sensitive to other people's. She's worried for other people. She feels other people's pain. I could see it in her body language. I mean, this is what I do. So she, as she gets older, having conversations. Right. One, she doesn't have to rescue people, but it's also okay to be sensitive, but you have to protect your energy too, right? A lot of my anxious kids. Kids are empaths. So Giancarlo's an empath, but he's a blocker, right? He's got my mother, Philomena. He knows how to block energy. So it's a. It's a skill that you have to learn how to develop over time.

That is. That is so interesting.

It's a cobbler, my friend. You know what I mean?

And I miss my own daughter. And. But it's. The funny thing about empaths and adults is that, you know, I see people with mold and Lyme and long Covid and a bunch of different things. It's interesting how people that are empaths will actually pull other people's energy into them. And all of a sudden, all that sympathetic overdrive you're talking about, it pushes them over. But a lot of my adults that are empaths actually can read the room. They can tell when people are lying to them. One of them actually is a lawyer. And literally, like, I know when the people are lying on stage and they. When someone's lying, they don't ever stop. It's like almost a superpower. They can read people's emotions. Yes, but they're not protective of it. You can almost pull all people's bad energy. And so it's this kind of crazy thing where all my patients are in past. They really, really have to do mind body stuff, do meditative practices.

I tell you, I mean, we'll have a conversation, but. But I'm an empath. But I'm like Giancarlo. I, first of all, I've learned how to protect my energy. And my mother was very much a guide. She really taught me not to be a people pleaser. And there's also empaths where it sticks, and they tend to over empathize and they want to help in a different way. Where I'm a helper, of course, but I am also the person who Put my oxygen mask on before I go and do that with my kid. Like, I get that. And so she's a doll. She's such a sweetheart. Like, she's like, what? She's the kind of person that, you know, wants to help you at her own expense. And that's really important. When we have kids where we see the anxiety creeping up or we see all those other things, we have to be like, wait a second. What else can I do in the ecosystem? Right. And it doesn't always have to be clinical. That's what I love about this conversation. What are things that you can do to empower her for her to still be a caregiver? Because we don't want to squash that. It's amazing. Right? But also to really support her and help her grow as an individual, because really, it's about boundaries. And some people are good at boundaries, and a lot of women are not. And that isn't a message you're sending her at all. It's the collective world that sends this message that women have to. Not to sound like a feminist, but I am. That we have to be a caregiver at our own expense. And so, you know, that can really. Those conversations can be so positively impactful. I can't even tell you how many teenagers that come in ashamed of themselves. And when I have the empath conversation, they're like, Dr. Rowe, you're speaking my language. And we just shift, like. And they're always these very stuck individuals because they're like, you know, I tried this and it wasn't working. And I was like, wait a second. Let's talk about your empath qualities. And not everybody is. But I do think it's a part of, you know, when people take on. They're anxious and they take on other people's anxiety or sadness, you know, these are little techniques that can create huge positive shifts within an individual.

Cool. Well, I'm excited about your new podcast. It's going to be okay with Dr. Rowe, and that's the reason I want to bring you on, so people can learn some of the things you talk about. So why don't you tell us if you want to know about more about you or know about your podcast?

Yeah. So thank you for supporting me and your work. And, you know, I'm sorry. And this is about getting to people who really do need that parenting lifeline. And you can just go to drroseanne.com podcast or search. It's going to be okay with an explanation point, and you can binge listen. There's already 20 episodes up and we are at like, we are almost at 30,000 downloads. It is mind blowing. People are excited. It's well received and they're sharing it. So, you know, and we have a cool contest. You can go to doctorroseanne.com forward/contest. And if you share this, it's only until next week. If you share this podcast, you get rewarded and there's a chance to win a MacBook Pro.

Cool. Well, I think just also speaks needed if you've had that many downloads.

Yeah, it's cool. Well, thanks, my friend. Thanks for this conversation and I appreciate you and your family and your work so much. And you know, and you know, we're both special needs parents and you know, wherever you are in your journey is exactly where you need to be. You just need to take action. Bye.

Cool. Well, we'll talk with you soon and take care. Bye. Thanks for coming. And we'll be pushing this on Bye YouTube and out there so people didn't catch it live. They can watch it later. Bye. All right, so.