Episode 237: Lead You - The Winning Combination with Bobby Harrington

Welcome to another episode of the Club Capital Leadership Podcast. My name is Bradley Hamner, your host. On today's episode, we have Robert Bobby Harrington. He's the founder of Rubicon Course of Action, which specializes in performance coaching programs and immersive leadership development events. In his book Lead You: The Winning Combination to Achieve Personal and Professional Success, Bobby shows you how self-leadership can transform you into the leader you aspire to be. Now, I love that message because in my own program, I talk about the very first principle is to lead yourself first. Without further ado, here's my conversation with Bobby Harrington.

So the big question is this: how do small business owners like us grow our leadership, develop our teams, and scale our business in a way that allows us to get our products and services out to the world, yet still remain profitable? That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answers. I'm Bradley Hamner, and this is the Club Capital Leadership Podcast.

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Bobby Harrington, welcome to the Club Capital Leadership Podcast.

Glad to be here, Bradley. Thanks for the invite.

Well, before we hit record, we started going down a path of how much we both love leadership. My goodness, the name of this podcast is the Club Capital Leadership Podcast after all. So we're going to end up having a deep dive here into all things leadership. But before we get into any of that, we always start with background and origin story. So tell us your background. How did you get to where you are today and what led you to here?

Yeah, no, awesome question. So, you know, not unlike a lot of folks who are from the South, I played football, right? And that was my first, uh, my first introduction to structured leadership, right? And I noticed very quickly that, you know, the coaches, they each had different ways they approach things. And at that time, you know, at 7 years old, I didn't know what leadership was. I just knew that, you know, this coach was this way and the other coach was, you know, doing that thing. And, uh, you know, I had to do with a lot of things, the way they approach things, the, the tonality they use, and, uh, You know, actually how they delegated and stuff like that. So, you know, after having a, you know, a good run through high school and some little time in college, I, I joined the Marine Corps. But before I got to the Marine Corps, you know, my father was a World War II, Korea, and Vietnam veteran, 3 times in Vietnam. So, you know, he was, he was an awesome leader of our family. And, you know, a leader in the military and leader in the community as well, you know. So I, I learned a lot from him. He's sort of a quiet person, but, uh, you know, you can learn a lot from quiet people too. My mom, on the other hand, was, uh, her family's from East Europe, from Yugoslavia, you know. She's 100% Serbian, and, uh, you know, those are some really tough people, you know. So she was kind of the opposite, you know, of my dad. you know, she had a little bit more fire, you know, with her. So we kind of learned, you know, both ways. So between my dad and my mom, you know, I was positioned well to go into the Marine Corps, right? And, you know, playing football in South Louisiana two days, it was really hot. So, you know, going to boot camp in San Diego was not a problem. It was more of a, you know, mental adjustment. But how I got here, you know, in the Marine Corps, they teach leadership traits and principles, right? Which goes to character building, you know, and how to lead yourself in teams. And after spending 4 years in the Marine Corps, you know, those things stuck with me. And I write about, you know, that in the book. But I've carried those things, you know, through life. And, you know, I went from the Marine Corps to oil and gas, which is, you know, similar to the military. They're large companies with projects and missions and stuff like that. And, you know, quickly was able to differentiate myself, you know, based on my experience in the Marine Corps leading myself and others. Right. So, you know, I had a short stint as a contractor and then finally hired with Chevron and spent about 18 years in that Global 100 company. You know, so a lot of, a lot of rich experience, you know, in operations and at the workface. And it's always been a privilege, you know, to lead others. And, you know, now I'm taking my 34 years of experience and trying to give that back to others.

First of all, thank you for yours and your family's service to our country.

Well, you're welcome. You know, my pleasure.

How do you define leadership?

Leadership is action, right? There's a big difference between leadership and management. You know, management at its core is, you know, if you look at the definition, it's to direct and control, and that's fine. But leadership is action, and leadership is having a line of sight. You know, a lot of folks use the word vision. I tend to think that word is just a little bit overused. I like to say line of sight because that tells me where, you know, It tells me I'm looking forward. You know, vision tells me, you know, something else. It could be this or it could be that, but a line of sight. So a leader is always going to be a person of action, is going to promote action, and is going to let the team know where they're going. He's going to clearly articulate the mission.

You know, I've had people that have taught to me over the years about starting a business. I'm a self-professed business geek, and including all things leadership. Leadership is one of the hardest things that you can do in, in life.

Um, why do you, why do you love it so much?

Well, you know, I've always been a person who wants to wake up and achieve. And I quickly learned, and we talked about this before we press the record button, you know, I learned that leadership was always the problem, but yet it was always a solution. So if I worked real hard at trying to be a good leader, you know, then I could help solve problems and have a greater impact. But I wake up each day, you know, asking myself, you know, a series of questions. You know, about leadership. And, you know, I really, you know, commit to that.

What are some of those questions that you ask yourself?

Yeah, sure. You know, am I willing to do the hard work it takes? You know, am I willing to put in the repetitions to become a better leader? Right. Am I going to put others before myself? Right. Going back to being unselfish, because what I found is to be a good leader, you really have to be unselfish and you really have to put people first. Uh, you know, there's an old adage in the military, you know, is it the mission or, or the welfare of the troops? And, you know, in the military it's always a mission, but you don't get that mission without taking care of the troops, right? Taking care of their welfare, training them well. So, you know, usually there are some, you know, ultimate prize at the end of a conflict or war. So, you know, you know, if you have to expand human life, you know, that's just the cost. But like in business, you know, it's just a little bit different. You know, you always have to put people first or you will not— people, the A-players will not stay at your company, especially in this day and age when folks have a lot of choice. You know, you can sell online, become a solo entrepreneur, you know, just many different things. And another one of the questions is, you know, are you willing to deliver feedback, you know, in such a way and tone that tells the person you're giving the feedback to, you know, I'm giving you this feedback to improve you, right? And that doesn't preclude, you know, having some direct conversations, you know, that happens in life. And Fourth question is, you know, we're never done. You know, am I willing to know that I'm never done? You know, leadership is like a— it's like growing a garden. You know, you prepare the soil, you plant the seed, you water, you know, you pull weeds, and you don't get the fruit until the very end. But, you know, as a leader, we're just— we're never done. And, and to your point, on the best day is hard.

Yeah, you know, uh, I showed you before we got started my, my model, and the very first principle is lead yourself first. So help myself and the listeners— I mean, I know I, I have an idea of how this, how I feel about this, but It's not about my opinion, it's about yours. You talked about, as an example, can I put others before myself? I mean, it, it, it is servant leadership, it's being selfless. Yet you wrote the book called Lead You, and it's all about self-leadership first. And so can you help, help us kind of reconcile those two things? To understand, wait a minute, we're talking about leading others, putting others before ourselves, but then here it is talking about the self-leadership. And then, and, and like, how do I reconcile those two things?

No, that's, that's a great question, you know. So before we lead others, we have to lead ourselves, you know. So if, you know, if we expect others to have empathy and compassion and have leadership attributes and and live their core values, we have to do that first. You know, we really have to do that because as a leader, people are looking up to you to learn, right? They're going to emulate what you do. So, you know, they want to see your strength of character. You know, they want to know you have integrity. They want to know they can trust you. You know, and trust is one part character, one part competence, you know. So that's how, that's how I would sort of reconcile self-leadership and leading others and putting others before yourself. But, you know, you have to take care of yourself as well. You know, one of the chapters in the book is, is on self-care. And, you know, as men, you know, and maybe, you know, women alike, you know, sometimes folks don't don't apply that self-care. You know, I struggled with it till I was, you know, 45, you know, burned out a couple of times and, you know, worked 80, 90-hour weeks and, you know, this, that, and the other. But, you know, that takes its toll. And, you know, self-care is important. You know, it's like putting your mask on first on the airplane, you know, before you put someone else's on. You've got to take care of yourself, you know, so you can be your best for them. You know, that, that works in all phases, right? At home, at work, you know, to a larger extent, to the community.

What, what have been some of the things on this podcast? Every week I try to bring things from— I kind of go back and forth. I try to bring things from kind of a high level, like theory right, the, the principles even, all the way down to some practical things. And there's a lot of books out there, not just leadership books but business books in particular, that I read them and I think, yeah, it's good, it's, it's good stuff, I've heard this before, but it doesn't really help me.

Day to day.

Doesn't help me in the trenches with this situation in order to— how do I deal in this moment with this, with this, you know, difficult performance issue, right? With it, with it, with, with the team member as an example, right? And yet I'm wanting to have compassion and understanding and patience and all these things, and at the same time feel like I'm about to inflict pain, you know, because, because like they're going to be reprimanded because like they dropped the ball or whatever that may be, you know. I mean, there's a million different ways I can go in that.

I think you get the essence of my question, right?

And so what are some things like down to the practical level that you believe in and that you've learned along the way and you share with your clients that you think are kind of core to what it means to become a good leader?

Yeah, sure. So, you know, again, it all starts with self-trust and self-belief. And, you know, we'll build from there. So self-trust is doing the things that I say I'm going to do that are important to me day in and day out and doing those without fail. So let's just think about it. Do you believe in someone before you can trust them? Not really. You won't do that. The only exception to that might be in the public domain where people in businesses have built, you know, some track record, you know, so you trust them. But still, you know, my experience tells me people want some repetitions, you know, because trust is built through, you know, repetition, right? And transaction. So once I trust myself, I can start to believe in myself, you know, and to believe in myself, you know, it builds on trust where, you know, I've done these certain things, I've achieved something, right? And that's what allows me to go after a bigger and a bigger and a bigger goal or, you know, serve as a team leader or serve as a supervisor, then serve as a superintendent and maybe someday maybe a CEO. Maybe the CEO of your own company. But you have to start with self-trust and self-belief. Okay. And then when you— and to do that, to do that, you have to be very adept at character attributes or leadership attributes rather. And we cover that in chapter 2 and 3, you know, such as justice, judgment, you know, courage, knowledge, enthusiasm. Right. Those are all traits that are very important to a person and to a leader. And building on that, and this is, this is one I'm very adamant about, is you have to select 4 to 5 core values depending on where you're at in your life, and you have to live those, right? So when you're young, you know, it might be ambition, it might be exploration, you know, Financial might be a core value later on in life. You know, when you're staring at retirement, it might be financial stability, you know, security. You know, my core values are, you know, hard work, family, simplicity, respect yourself and others, and believe in yourself. You know, at my point in life, and, you know, I try each and every day to live those the best I can. And when folks pick their core values based on what's important to them, well, then they stand out from others. So living your values coupled with, you know, building your strength of character is what I found to be most important. And that's what gives us a unique, quote unquote, leadership character.

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Day in and day out, I would say the majority of the time, I think for myself, and I try to think about this for our listeners, that I do believe in myself, right?

I do.

I don't, but boy, I have days. I have days. I have weeks. I can have long stretches I really doubt myself. I get in my head about it, and I can find every way to, um, start to doubt, you know, and, and start to— I, I find almost evidence of my 'I'm not good enough' type thing, right? Um, and so that becomes hard to kind of get out of that, out of that cycle. I mean, You always do, right? You try not to be in those low points. And so, you know, I mean, unless you're a narcissist, you know, and, you know, you're just delusional thinking that you got the world by the tail. I mean, you know, obviously we all have days where days and periods of time where we're like, man, I don't know if I'm cut out for this, you know. Um, how do you handle that?

Yeah, no, that's an excellent question. Again, on the best day, leadership is hard. You know, I find out, I find when I'm in a slump or I'm having a little bit of self-belief challenges, you know, again, action is the word. You know, I'll get in the gym. I'll just try to clear my mind because also what I found out is we tend to make up our own problems sometimes. Sometimes a molehill becomes a mountain, you know. So that's the thought side of it. But You know, there are instances in the course of a career where we have setbacks. You know, I've had setbacks. You know, I worked 15 or 16 years in my last company to get this one opportunity. I got that opportunity and, you know, I had a setback, you know, and, you know, that was hard to deal with. But, you know, based on my life and the setbacks I had had before, you know, I didn't crawl into a hole. I knew to dust myself off and keep going, you know. So I would say take action and keep going when you get in those bouts of self-belief. What is— you just try to purge, you know, whatever is in your head, just get it out, you know. And a hard workout will do that, or a hike will do that, you know, or a good, good tough conversation, you know, will do it as well.

You know, uh, when you said sometimes we make up on our own problems, I wish I could give credit to the first person that had shared this with me, but they said, uh, you know, as business owners, we're really good firefighters, man. We can put out fires left and right, but boy, we're way better arsonists. And I thought, man, that's good. That's so good.

Self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage. That's right. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. No doubt. I, I think, I think back at times and, and kind of along that lines, I've, I heard this just last week or week and a half ago. I was at a, a mastermind group that I'm, I'm a part of and the person made a comment around sideways energy and I was like, man, I've never heard that before, but I thought. How many times have I, I should do a podcast on this myself, but sideways energy where I've, I'm doing something that's just making the business go sideways. Like we're not moving forward. If anything, we're probably moving backwards, but all of the energy is an effort to move forward. But because I have not, I'm not thinking clearly, I'm just doing stuff.

I'm just doing stuff.

I'm just in motion. But what I'm actually doing is not moving the business forward. It's not leading the team at a high level. I'm not leading the, you know, like I'm doing all of these things, but it's just sideways energy. And I think that is similar to me. I'm just starting fires.

I'm just starting fires just to come back around the backside and put them out.

Like fire, put it out. And then, you know, you're constantly like, what are you doing? You're just moving sideways. Does that make sense?

Oh no, for sure. You know, and I think what that is is a little bit of overthinking and getting away from prioritization. You know, look, we can only do 1 to 3 things good in the course of a day. You know, the last job, last assignment I had, you know, about 120 people, had 5 team leaders. It was an oil and gas facility, people going offshore, not only had to you know, lead that organization, had to deal with a set of executives over here. And then, you know, 5,000 miles away, there's a group of subject matter experts that had some purview of what we were doing. So, you know, on a given day, there was 30 to 40, you know, things that you really had to do. But I would focus on one, you know, the last couple years I would focus on 1 to 3 things. And if something else was important, someone was going to make a phone call or, you know, they were going to scream. And it works beautifully, right? Because the thing is, if everything's critical, then nothing's critical, right? We really have to, you know, do some analyzing and determine, you know, what are the top 3 priorities? And we need to work those, you know, really hard. But, you know, to your point, I've had times, you know, even on that assignment where I sat for an hour and wondered which way I should go. You know, there were just so many people wanted so many things, but again, it came back to making a choice, prioritization. And you know what, every day everyone's not going to be happy.

Yeah.

And that's just how it is, you know. So, you know, I learned, you know, through trial and error not to people please, you know, never really been a people pleaser, but, you know, I think the good in us, you know, wants to deliver for everyone. But on a given day, that's always not going to happen. That's just the facts, you know, if you're doing a lot, right?

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. What are some of your favorite leadership stories that have shaped kind of not just the story itself, but how it shaped how you believe and what you think about leadership today?

Yeah, so, you know, I'll just go with this one, you know, part of the— when I was 45, you know, that had a lot of, a lot of, um, a lot of success, right, um, at my job. And I was— I developed, uh, technology for about 8 years and received a Chairman's Award and You know, that was cool. Got to go see the CEO and this, that, and the other. And so special recognition. And, you know, my next assignment was in Ibadan, Nigeria. And, you know, pretty, pretty tough place, pretty austere. And, you know, I didn't realize it, but, you know, when I arrived there, I was burned out. And, you know, some things started to manifest and, you know, so some things weren't going right. And by all accounts, you know, had a good job, you know, financially it was okay. And, but, you know, it forced me to really, you know, it was really a low point, you know, like rock bottom. So it forced me to, you know, look within. And I tried, I started trying to solve, you know, what, you know, what was the problem here? And, uh, I've never been a real big reader of books because I don't like people to think for me. You know, I enjoy different perspectives, but I don't like reading any kind of dribble. But I got an iPad and, you know, one of the books I got was, was Lone Survivor, you know, by Marcus Luttrell, which kind of outlines the Operation Red Wing, right, in Afghanistan. And I guess I boil it all down to if, you know, if the man's team was killed, 3 other people were killed, and he fell down the mountain 3 or 4 times and he kept fighting. You know, he never quit. And he didn't quit because, you know, it was in his DNA or was trained that, you know, I'm going to give effort until I drop, right? You know, so I examined myself and, you know, I think that was one of the most powerful lessons, you know, for me. And, you know, out of that experience came my want to give my perspective, you know, on leadership. So And that's kind of why I wrote the book Lead You, right? Give folks a template and a roadmap.

What other books, podcasts, or other things did you— have you tapped into that you feel like, in addition to your book, obviously have really kind of shaped your belief patterns?

Yeah, I think, uh, Stephen Covey You know, The Speed of Trust. You know, that's a good book.

That's one of his not as, not as well-known books, but that's a good one.

Oh no, I mean, it's, you know, I didn't— there's no dribble in that one. I've listened to it on audio and read it, you know. So just such an excellent book for people, you know, because a lot of times we need to be smart with our trust, right? We need to understand what trust is and, you know, be smart with it and protect. You know, protect trust. You know, that was one of the other questions that, you know, I answer each day when I wake up, you know, am I willing to protect trust, you know, with my family and my coworkers or any organization I'm with? You know, as a leader, you know, that's very important, you know, because it's, it's very difficult, you know, to build up trust because people trust you. Either you're competent at something or you have really good strength of character. Or sometimes both, you know, but you can lose, you can lose or break trust, you know, really quick. And, you know, I've had some hard lessons with that and learned that really, you know, that's something we need to protect. Aside from Stephen Covey, I think Discipline Equals Freedom or Extreme Ownership, you know, a couple of good books by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. You know, I really like those a lot. Very practical. You know, again, as you mentioned, there's a lot of books out there that are sort of theoretical and high-minded, and they sound good, but you're— when you walk away, you know, you ask yourself, okay, you know, what can I use here? And, uh, you know, usually, you know, it's not much.

Yeah.

So I try to model my book where, you know, I give definitions, I give anecdotes, you know, and I have exercises at the end of the chapters and also a call to action. So we're giving folks something to, uh, to immediately use, giving folks tools.

Yeah, um, I agree with you. I said that earlier, but there's a lot of books that, you know, are just kind of filled with a lot of fluff, and there's not as many of them that kind of get down into I can actually take something away with this. So thank you for writing a book that ultimately is designed for transformation, not just transformation of information, right? That actually means that they can take it and read into it. Bobby, people want to reach out to you and connect with you. Can you talk about the program that you have, your leadership development program? What is that? How can people learn more about that if they want to connect with you?

Yeah, awesome. So our program is called the Stronger You Coaching Program, and it's leadership-based. It's all about leading yourself, leading others, and learning how to lead through change. We also have live immersive events. Our first event is going to be June 26th through 30th. We'll be making that announcement very soon. It's going to be at the Wyo Ranch in in Kerrville, Texas. So that's something you really don't want to miss. It's a 4-day immersive event. It's a chance again, you know, to learn about leadership, skills development, and adventure. You know, we work hard, but, you know, we play hard as well.

Yeah, I love that. Who said that business can't have a little bit of fun, right?

Oh no, I mean, you know, I mean, even in the hardest times in the Marine Corps, we always had fun. You know, and I've carried, you know, fun and camaraderie with me throughout my whole career. And, you know, it's really worked well.

Bobby, congrats on the book. Where can people pick up a copy?

Sure. You know, we would like to route people to the website, to www.therubiconcoa.com, and they can go to my author page. And from there, it'll ask them for a little bit of information and we'll route them on to to Amazon.

Awesome, awesome. Bobby, enjoyed chatting with you about all things leadership, and I hope to have you back on in the future when you write your next one.

Well, I definitely enjoyed it, and I, I much appreciate it, Bradley. Thank you.

You know, I really enjoyed that conversation with Bobby. A couple things stood out to me. I know many of you have heard or have read the book Extreme Ownership from Jocko Willink, and I think that this book And the conversation with Bobby kind of reminded me of that. It's basically, you know, the personal responsibility for a situation. At the time that I'm recording this outro, we just had as a team, I think, that we were working through as an opportunity within the podcast. And over the past week, I really needed to try to take an opportunity to self-reflect and see how I could take extreme ownership or really just personal responsibility for where things were not where they needed to be. And ultimately, to be able to share, OK, this is not exactly what we are capable of being able to do. I think we can do better. But also try to just do some reflection myself. I think that there's a balance of being able to do that take personal responsibility, but at the same time not beating myself up too much for maybe things not going exactly the way that I think that they should. So I really enjoyed that conversation with Bobby. I hope you did as well. Hey, thanks to our podcast sponsors Autopilot Recruiting, Coach P Consulting, and Club Capital. If you want to be able to bring A-players on your team, reach out to Autopilot Recruiting. Go to autopilotrecruiting.com and let Alex and the team know that you heard about them on the Club Capital Leadership podcast. I personally use Autopilot Recruiting for all of my recruiting efforts, and you should too. Their onboarding experience is second to none. I told the team, I said, hey, listen, I want to go through it just like someone else would. Just because I happen to know the people on the team, don't give me any special treatment. It has been exceptional, end-to-end first-class experience with the emails to be able to onboard you and let you know exactly what to expect. The regular communication, just knowing that that's gonna be taken care of for my business is incredibly important. Go to autopilotrecruiting.com. You've heard me say often and with good reason that some of the best money, I think the best money that I've ever invested in is to be able to buy back my time. And one of the ways to be able to buy back my time is to be able to find, be in the rooms and at the tables with people who are doing things at a higher level. Well, you will get exactly that whenever you join Coach P. Go to coachpconsulting.com. David and his team, they really do an incredible job of being able to share with you the behind the scenes of exactly what's working and what's not working in their business to help shortcut your success. At the end of the day, you're paying down some amount of debt, whether that's financial debt, or even ignorance debt. The amount of money it's costing you to not own a million-dollar business, as an example, is costing you a million dollars. And there's ways, there's skills that you can acquire. And the best way to do that is to be able to pay to be in the room, whether that's even a Zoom room, or just to be able to pay access to someone like David who's getting it done at a high level. Go to Coach P Consulting. I talk to business owners every day, and one of the ones, one of the topics that comes up often that stresses people out is financials. And I understand, I was that way before. I've shared many times my own struggle of not being able to read financial statements, even though I had a degree in finance from Auburn University. No comments from the Alabama people, but I really didn't know how to read basic business financials, and it really hurt me in the early years of my business. Know more with Club Capital. Go to club.capital, book a no obligation demo. Audrey Nguyen, till next episode, lead well.