In this solo episode of the Owner Island podcast, Bradley Hamner opens up about the heavy personal loss of his mother after a 13‑year battle with cancer and uses that experience to discuss the often‑unspoken loneliness and psychological pressure that entrepreneurs face. He reflects on how, despite having large teams, families, and social circles, business owners can feel isolated and uncertain, constantly carrying “open loops” that never truly shut off. Hamner shares a mentor’s (Daniel Priestley) quote about the relentless mental load of ownership, emphasizing that entrepreneurs can’t simply switch off at the end of the day and that the rewards are often all‑or‑nothing. He acknowledges the tendency to mask struggles with a façade of “everything’s fine,” but urges listeners to recognize they are not alone. The episode offers mindset guidance: acknowledging grief, practicing self‑care (exercise, nutrition), and reframing how one carries hardship rather than trying to eliminate it. Hamner thanks a longtime listener, Ryan, whose email prompted the episode, and closes with a call to lead well, encouraging authenticity, resilience, and community among business owners.
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Hey everyone, so today is about this concept, this idea that I think we've all had as a business owner. And so I call— I'm calling this podcast Owner Island. I have to tell you, the last two weeks had been kind of heavy on my heart in a lot of different ways. Um, I personally just, uh, lost my mom a couple weeks ago. She battled cancer for 13 years, and I say this not for sympathy— she beat the odds. She had 4 to 5 years to live back in 2011, and she battled it for 13 years. And, you know, last 9 weeks before she passed, she was in hospice care. But I say that to say that during this last 2 weeks period of time, whether it was on some quarterly calls, some quarterly one-to-one calls that I was having with, with people, folks have been going through some stuff. They've been going through some stuff. And it was— it, it's been weighing on me to do this podcast to share, um, not about, not about my mom, to make, make any of those things about me, but to just share that, man, people have been going through some things and you're not alone. But yet, man, entrepreneurship can feel very, very lonely at times. You can have a really big team, you can have a really big family, you can have an incredible friend group around you. I know many of you have some great friends, whether they're in your small groups, whether in your, your high school friends, your college friends, your, your friends that, uh, with the people that your kids go to school with, your neighborhood, your community. You have a lot of people around you. You can have a really big team. You can walk in on Monday morning and be the man or be the woman and still, still feel very lonely. There's times whenever you can feel, you know what, I don't think I know exactly what I'm doing. These people think that I know what I'm doing, and I really don't fully have it all together. I can stand in front of this meeting and at times, not all the time, Okay, but at times you kind of fake it through, fake it till you make it type of thing. And I think we've all had those moments of insecurities and feelings. And it's so interesting that just a few short years ago, I couldn't have imagined actually sharing this podcast or even talking about these kind of things. But just the last couple weeks, um, friends sharing with me, clients sharing with me some stuff that they've been going through, some really, really tough things that have happened in their family, some financial pressures that they're under, uh, parents that have become downhill themselves, going through some health scares, family members, kids going through some things, just having some really tough seasons. And I'm just here to tell you, you're not alone. And at the end of the day, what do we do with this? You know, most of the episodes I attempt to try to share— here's a tool that we use, or here's a skill to acquire, or here's a mindset, here's where to think about it. And I guess this one falls Somewhere Under Mindset. But just realizing that you're not alone in this journey and what the endeavor that we have chosen is really hard, really hard. And Ryan, I just want to tell you, Ryan sent me an email. He's been a long time listener to the podcast. I appreciate your email, um, sending it to me, um, And that was, in a good way, the straw that broke the camel's back. I already had this podcast in the back of my mind. It was even as a solo idea, solo podcast idea, um, that I had jotted down. Um, but ultimately it was that email that finally said, you know what, this has come up so many times, like 6 or 7 times, not only my own journey but so many other people the people are going through some, some really tough seasons. And I'm not talking about economic challenges or market challenges or even team-related turnover. Those are the kind of things we kind of see in business, and those— that makes it hard. I'm talking about just some things that they're going through while still needing to show up to be the entrepreneur. And Along with that, one of my coaches and mentors, uh, Daniel Priestley, shared recently, uh, and so I'm just going to read it directly from what he had shared and posted. He had posted this in, in our group. Few people really understand the psychological pressure entrepreneurs are under. I agree with that. Only really Entrepreneurs and owners feel that way. He goes on to say, when it's your business, you always have psychological open loops. You don't just switch it off at 5 PM or on the weekends. I cannot be the only person that has had the feeling that the team is missing the mark on numbers and on production and they walk out at noon, 3, 5 o'clock on a Friday, go into the weekend bebopping on a Monday. You're like, how did you know? It's on your mind all the time. So I totally agree with that. Again, he continues on to say, you can't just phone it in. The rewards for entrepreneurs are often all or nothing. There's a fear of letting people down mixed with a desire to do something great for others. I totally agree. If you can handle— if you can handle this kind of pressure, there's nothing better than building your own business with a team of like-minded collaborators. If 'You can handle the pressure.' Wow, so true. I resonate with pretty much every word that he shared there. Every word. Business is hard and it gets harder, but we knowingly sign up for that. But still, sometimes the pressure of business and of life, and pouring so much out for other people can get heavy. And I know that many of you listen to this, financially you're doing very, very well. And this is why I love working with business owners, because if you try to go to other people and share and they're not business owners, they don't understand. If they're not an entrepreneur, they don't get it. They think you live in a big house, you send your kids to a great school, you drive a good car, you seem to make, you know, you're able to go on nice vacations. What's the problem? And so what do you do? You don't say anything. You just don't share. You just say— you're just grin and bear it. You, you know, smile. Everything's great, everything's good. I'm good, how are you? You good? Yep, we're all good. The reality is, is deep down it can be tough at times. Now, the rewards of entrepreneurship can be, can be great. Freedom, flexibility. Leave at 11 o'clock on a Friday, go play golf, go fish, go on a really nice— go on a nice vacation, you know, take the family to Europe for a week, take the family to the lake and go, go do that for a few days. Sure, yeah, there's these moments you can kind of sort of get away from it a little bit, but at the same time, only entrepreneurs understand. So I just want to tell you, you're not alone. Whether it's the pressures of the business or some things you may be going through personally, and then you're still showing up, pouring so much of yourself out to your team and pouring so much of yourself out to give to others so, so selflessly of yourself. This is something that after the passing of my mom, and this is certainly by no means. This is just me sharing with you how I thought about it. If this helps you, so be it. But after that, and I had a few days to decompress— it was leading right up to the 4th of July, so there's— there was already some baked-in time. But I'll tell you, even after the funeral, you know, you jump in back in on Monday and life seemingly like just kind of barrels along. And, um, you know, so you work through those kind of things. Then there was some time, and so I really started to give some thought of, I really do have to attempt to take care of myself now. And how that looks for me is going to look a lot different for everybody else. Okay, but you know, you, you go to the gym, you do, you work out, you kind of try to eat healthy. You— the reality is, you know, you, you're pouring so much out. You, you're going to give to others, you're going to give to your team, you're going to give to your clients, you're going to give to people around you, you're going to give to your family always first. And then it gets to a point to where you realize, you know what, I actually, I really, I really do have to take care of myself here. And so that's the season, um, and how I began to kind of process it. Because I don't think there's— in some of these things that people are going through, it's not that they'll necessarily ever get past it or get over it, or, you know, they can just easily turn the page on some of those things. I think it's just how you carry it. It's not whether you'll carry it, it's just how you'll carry it. And so, um, just know whatever you're going through, that I get it. I understand. And I understand the difficulties of showing up for your team every day while still going through some stuff. And you'll get through this, and you'll become a better, uh, leader You'll become a better business owner. You'll become a better person. And because of it, it's hard when you're going through it, but you just keep going. I think I may butcher this, but somebody says, you know, if you're going through hell, just keep going. Maybe if that resonated with any, maybe even just one person out there, then it was worth me sharing. And, um, I appreciate all of you. Thank you so much for being a loyal, dedicated listener to the podcast. I really do intentionally try to make these episodes, um, thoughtful and things that actually help you along your own journey. We're all in this journey. I mean, I like to say we're on the journey of becoming the architects of our business. Um, and I do believe that, but at the end of the day, we're running our own races too. And so if this podcast is able to help be a bright spot in your week or in your day, I really honestly, uh, from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate your listenership. Thank you for the feedback that you give us. And until next time, lead well.
