#175: Look Good, Feel Good: How To Achieve Your Inner Glow With Katie DePaola

Welcome to The Conscious Pivot Podcast with international speaker, business mentor, bestselling author of Pivot, and your host, Adam Markel. The Conscious Pivot shares the stories and wisdom of people who have successfully reinvented some area of their business and personal life. You'll gain powerful insights into how you can fully embrace new opportunities, increase your performance, and master the art and science of innovation and resilience. So please join Adam as he guides you on your conscious pivot.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Conscious Pivot Podcast. I'm your host, Adam Markel. I feel really blessed to be sitting here today and getting ready to interview an amazing guest. It's the afternoon. We were just before we hit the record button, we were talking about how we had some technology. Each of us have had some technology glitches with our I've been messing around with some new equipment in the last couple of days and it can be frustrating. I mean, the thing about it for me that I guess I'm not totally good with is just how vulnerable I feel to how technology is a part of my business and my life. It's— I remember when there was a time where— clearly remember when I didn't need technology to do business. I was a lawyer for a lot of years. It didn't really require much technology at all. I mean, a typewriter. I had a computer for word processing. But there was just so little of it. I mean, it was— it predated— I guess I'm really aging myself here, but it predated cell phones. I mean, we had at one point there was a beeper, and that was mostly because when my wife was getting ready to have babies, I needed to know when I was in court or something. If it was 911, I had a beeper to get home and get to the hospital. But so I do feel just a little bit vulnerable and sometimes even violated, if I can use that word, when shit goes wrong and stops working and it doesn't make any sense. And for at least some moment or two, You know, gotta pivot. And it's a great reminder to me to just relax, take some deep breaths, and it all works out anyway. That's the good news. It always works out. So I have a great guest today. I'm really excited to speak with her. And well, for today's episode anyway, you won't get to see her, although in the show notes there'll be links to her website. You'll be able to see pictures of this, her beautiful face and her amazing— just the energy that she brings is really special. And you'll hear it through her voice, I'm sure. I'm gonna read a little bit of her bio and then we're gonna dig in and have a great conversation that hopefully will meet all of you exactly where you are in this moment. And I'm sure that there'll be something that you hear that you are really meant to hear, intended to hear, and, and that just seems to always be the case. So her name is Katie DePaola, and she's an entrepreneur, an author, and the founder of Inner Glow Circle. Absolutely love the name of her company, an accredited training and certification company for women coaches, leaders, and entrepreneurs. Right after starting IGC, Katie lost her brother to an accidental overdose. Also, Lyme disease has taken its toll on her. She's a survivor. She, even after experiencing that, and I have a number of friends who've, who've also dealt with that over the years, she managed to build her business from her bathtub, growing the company from a self-funded startup to a million-dollar business. We're going to dig into that and find out a little bit more. About that story as well. Katie has turned her greatest challenges into her greatest opportunities and says her business is what saved her life, which is really counterintuitive because I know a lot of people feel, especially entrepreneurs, as though their business is actually killing them. Mm-hmm. So to know that this actually saved her life is really cool. And I'll say this one other thing, which is to share her advice, her best advice for how to glow through what you go through, I think is really powerful. I want to dig in there, but Katie, first, welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you with us today.

Adam, thank you so much. I love the work that you do. I love what you're all about and your brand and really, really happy to be here. So thank you.

Thank you so much for being patient too, because as we were talking about, you know, the unexpected is to be expected, I suppose. But even though I wrote a book about that pivoting and you, you think I might deal with it better and And most of the times I do, but it can get frustrating and all that. So you work with a lot of entrepreneurs and obviously your bio is really, really rich. Is there something that's not written in that introduction, that bio, that you would love for people to know about you right out of the gate?

I mean, I think that like a bio can say a lot, right? I mean, there's a description of what I've been through, but I think that hearing— having people hear me talk about it is what's different and what sets me apart. So I did, I started my company and then exactly 100 days later, I got a call that my brother, my little brother had passed away. He was only 20 years old and it was from an accidental overdose. And so obviously that turned my world upside down. And I loved what you were saying at the beginning. Like, I do tell people that my business saved my life because my business did save my life. And I'll get into that. But of course, like starting up a company is never easy. And IGC is my third business. So I had a little bit of experience, but I didn't have experience scaling at the level that I was looking to scale at. And so many little things happen along the way. So there's like the stress of starting a business and the ups and the downs. And I think sometimes the downs feel a little bit lower because the ups are so high and you're like, I'm the best. And then you're like, I suck, right? It's just crazy. I know. And I was telling you earlier, I mean, you know, I appreciate your introduction, but I want everyone to know listening that like you, you were so gracious and graceful in trying to get us going today. And like tech stuff does happen. I was telling Adam, I was hosting someone else yesterday and there were all these tech issues happening. And, you know, I'm many years into my business. Adam's many years, had multiple careers, right? And so it's like, it's not like we're not pros at this, but I think what's so important, and the woman that I was hosting who is an author who just had a book come out, she kept saying like, Katie, someone needs to see us do it this way. And we ended up sort of like, you know, rigging the technology in crazy backwards way, but people were so grateful that we went live anyways and that we did the thing because so many people who are starting off on their entrepreneurial journey or who are pivoting and going in a different direction or Starting something new inside of what they're doing, opening up a different department or selling new offerings. Like, it's so easy to get down on yourself. It's so easy to like get tired and let it take the wind out of your sails. But the reality is that in every obstacle there's an opportunity, even if the opportunity is like, wow, I'm, I'm meeting this new person, I'm working with this new person and there's a frustrating thing happening and I'm seeing how with how much grace they're handling it and what can I do to bring that into my life? And of course, your book is about this, Adam, because like that's what we do, right? We teach what we're here to learn. And my book that's coming out later this summer is about the same thing. It's about how to take all the hard things that happen and make them really beautiful things, which requires a lot of work. But of course, we struggle with it too because We're the ones who are so committed to teaching it and to learning it as well.

Resilience. It's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And in times of massive change and disruption, the kind of rapid change that we're all experiencing as leaders, as business owners, as entrepreneurs, we have to learn how to not only increase our own resilience but that of our teams. So right now we have a powerful opportunity. For you to find out just how resilient you are. Some years ago, my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilience leader assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will So true. You know what, I would love to talk about At Least You Look Good. That is the title of your book that will be coming out this summer. Will you tell us a little bit about what's the origin story there and why you felt compelled to put a book out? Because that's no small feat. As we all, any author knows, it's kind of like giving birth. I've never given birth, but I've watched 4 children come into the world. So I know a little bit about how excruciating that can be. And as an author, that process really can be quite painful. So, and a joy, and totally a joy. So give us the origin story of the book and how it is that it came about.

Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely one of those people who for many, many years, like, felt like I had a book in me. I mean, I feel like I have many books in me, but To your point, one's enough, right? For now, we got to start somewhere. And it does, it really forces you to face yourself. More than any experience, it was like looking in the mirror again and again and again and digging deep and trying to really understand the things that I had been through. So I lost my brother. I had been diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease that had become neurological, meaning it had caused brain damage. And I had gotten to a point where I lost feeling in an entire side of my body. Bedridden and I was going through multiple rounds of really intense treatment that were really, really hard on my body. So I start Lyme treatment, I'm building my company, I'm kind of dealing with what life is giving me and then I get the call about my little brother and that turned my world upside down. I mean, it really felt— when I lost my brother, it felt like there could be no worse feeling and I don't know if I'm ever going to find a way out of this. I'm someone who wants life to have meaning and wants everything to be great and perfect. I'm definitely like a recovering perfectionist and have struggled with anxiety and depression like so many of us. And so with all the things that were going on, finding out about my brother, it just, it was completely devastating. And I was already struggling in certain areas, struggling to get the business going, struggling to deal with my Lyme disease. But the title of the book is, I think it's quite telling and most women really resonate with this, but I'm interested to hear what you think, Adam. Everything through the period that I was going through all of this, people would say to me, you don't look sick, or, but you look really good, or, I can't believe your brother just died. Oh my God. Because I still took care of myself and— Some days, not every day, but some days, and typically the days when I would leave the house, which was not that often when I was really going through it, but I would still look good. And so in a way, it's sort of this deeper, like, feminist commentary on the fact that we as women are judged by our looks and judged for our looks. And we're constantly judging ourselves and everyone around us. Like, we judge the book by its cover. And that's not always like a terrible thing, but it doesn't tell the whole story. And there was kind of this pinnacle point for me where one day after a few years after Beau's passing, and I had navigated my way out of a really abusive relationship, I had been engaged and it ended in court orders and it was just so crazy. And, you know, because I wasn't myself when I was going through that and I think sometimes when like we're in a really bad spot, we can't see the forest through the trees. So then we start making other decisions. This was at least what happened for me.

Mm-hmm.

I started making other decisions that were really out of alignment with who I was just because I felt so broken and I so, so badly didn't want to be alone that I got into a relationship and got engaged to someone that was really, really not good for me, like really bad for me. And so One day after I really fought a lot of battles and worked to get my company off the ground and growing and really done a lot of my own like mental health recovery and physical recovery and I was Lyme-free at this time because I finally found a doctor who could cure me and I sat down, I just started, just started like seriously writing the book and really getting clear on what I was doing with the book. 'Cause I had been sort of dabbling writing for a long time, as we do. But I sit down at my psychiatrist's office, who I was seeing at the time, and I still wasn't feeling great. And I'm sure it was a mix of all kinds of things. And so she had been trying me on a couple different medicines, and I'm very sensitive to medication. And she said, how are you feeling? And I said, I'm feeling like shit. And she was like, she looks at me and I'm wearing these like Tight, like, shiny red leggings and like a crop top. I mean, I'm dressed like I'm about to go to a performance or something. And she looks at me—

You're going out to a club, but—

Right, like a workout club. I was probably going to like hip-hop dance class or something. But she looks at me and she's like, her eyes widen and she's smiling and she's like, well, you look so good.

And that's the doctor going—

And this is my psychiatrist. And so I just bust— I was pissed at her and I wanted to like punch her, but I didn't. I refrained. And I said, Well, I don't feel good. And I was laughing. I was like, I don't feel good at all. But do you know what the title of my book is? And I told her and she started laughing. And so, it's funny because I think a lot of times, I obviously got a lot of inspiration from people who quote unquote didn't believe me, didn't believe me that I was sick, didn't believe me that losing my brother impacted me so much. Why? Because I still found some sort of strength within me to like— Smile when I did leave the house, when I did get on Facebook Live, when I did do webinars or put myself out there in my business. I mean, I was still hiding a lot. Like, my version of being seen that was happening in 2015, 2016, 2017 was not what it is now. And even now I'm like more, more, more, more because I'm healthy and I know what I want. But when I was really struggling, people had a lot to say and I'm grateful for that because like it gave me so much perspective and I realized people see what they see. And so it talks about that a lot, like how focusing on my look, it was the only thing I could control at certain times.

So what's the through— I mean, we do a lot of work with speakers and people that do TEDx talks and things like that. So I'm sort of trained to be asking myself and thinking about the through line of things. And a book is very much the same way. You know, there's usually a central through line. What would you say the through line of that book is. I mean, it's so rich in what you've already shared, and I'm thinking to myself, gosh, there could be a few different through lines that I'm coming up with. So

yeah,

you know, but I got the author here, so I don't have to guess about it.

I mean, I think the biggest one is like what it looks like to create a life that looks good but feels even better. And it talks a lot about my experience learning how to feel. I grew up in a family that was very concerned about how things looked and I actually am grateful for that because I see it come through when I'm like finalizing our branding or putting the finishing touches on things. I'm crazy about how things look and I'm not mad at my parents for teaching me that. You know what I'm saying?

Yes.

I got to the point of really feeling grateful for that.

Wow. The pace of change over the last couple of years has been rapid. And if you're a leader, a business owner, an entrepreneur, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Every day it's something different, something new. But the one thing that I've learned in performing at the height of all of those roles has been that we must be resilient. In fact, it's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And it's the reason why my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your The best way to take your own free resilient leader assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. Yeah. What's the relationship between the looking good and the not feeling good, or the feeling good but not looking good? Because I think there's, you know, it's an interesting relationship between those things, right? In fact, you're— I'm not gonna make any guess about your age, but I'll just say it's a long time ago that Billy Crystal was a member of Saturday Night Live. Do you remember that, or have seen any videos from that time? No. Okay.

Yeah.

So he used to do this bit where he was like, hold up like a soda can, like a Coke can, and say, oh, my little darling, you know, he says, you look so good. Right. Stuff like— and then he would come up with this line, and his line was, to look good is to feel good, darling. And he was like this guy Fernando who is always espousing how looking good was feeling good. And so I'm just listening to you talk about this, and I'm thinking to myself, you know, for a lot of folks, it is putting on that face. It is being able to just go out to the world No matter sort of what's happening inside, and still being able to sort of show up with that— I don't want to call it a veneer or a facade, because I think there's an element of what he was getting at with that joke, that when we go to the gym, even when we feel like shit, are wanting our bodies and the way we look to reflect how we either want to feel—

Mm-hmm.

Or how we may even be feeling, but that there's this congruence between those things. And sometimes to just get dressed up and go out in the world, even when you feel like crying or you feel like staying home, actually has the impact of helping you to feel. And I don't know if that's part of the book or what the relationship is, but I guess I'm curious. So what would you say, how does the inner and outer interplay, I guess, in the writing?

I think it's a great question, Adam. I think ultimately we want to look the way that we feel on the inside and we want to feel the way that we look like. We want those things to align. Right? Yes. Like, we've all had experiences where we like see this really hot person and they're like such an asshole, right? Like, that person's not feeling themselves in like that authentic way, even though they look really good. Or we've had experiences where someone is really hiding who they are and they're hiding behind how they look, but they're so kind and sweet. And I think that we really want like the world to see us. We want to be seen. And like, that's why I say my business saved my life because my business Having started IGC before all this shit hit the fan meant that I had to show up. I mean, I could have quit, right? I could have like thrown in the towel or sold the business or brought in my partner to take over.

Nobody would have blamed you, right?

No, and I had every reason to operate like a victim, and for a long time I did because I did feel very victimized to all this stuff. Like, I didn't choose to have my brother pass away. I didn't choose to get bitten by a tick. Like, are you— you know what I'm saying? And so this whole like rhetoric in our industry about, like, you create your life and you create your reality and manifestation and you attract what you are and thoughts become things. Like, some of that is true, but it's also true that we live in a world that has a lot of toxicity and a lot of turmoil. And I don't think that we can say that we're responsible for creating all of that. I think we're responsible for what we do with it, but it takes time to get there. And it's like largely not what we're being taught by the mainstream world. And so, you know, for me, like, The main idea here is that, like, you have to keep showing up. And because I had started my business before all of this stuff happened, I created— unknowingly, I created accountability for myself in a way that saved me. You know, I had to show up. Now, I wasn't showing up the way I show up now, but I was showing up as much as I could at the time. And so for me, like, You know, I couldn't figure out how to overcome— eventually I got diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD, Lyme disease, like all these things. And I couldn't figure out how to get rid of my Lyme at first, but I could figure out how to like buy makeup that made me feel better or wear an outfit that made me feel good or get lash extensions. And, you know, I could figure out how to change my hair. And so eventually, like now I feel that largely like I think 80% is the new perfect, but like 80% of the time, I feel like how I'm feeling on the inside matches the outside and vice versa. Yeah. And I feel like when I go out into the world, people get me. They get my vibe. They get my energy. They get who I am. Like, there's no need to prove because I know who I am and I look like myself. But there were many years where I didn't look like myself or feel like myself. So I was trying to do all of these things to try to piece it together. To become me. I mean, my entire journey of like learning how to look good and feel good has just about trying to become myself, to find myself in the midst of all this pain.

What could be better? What would you ever wish for anybody, friend or foe, really? Right? Just any— in the interest of humanity, wouldn't you wish for people to just be comfortable in their own skin?

Oh my God, totally.

Of everything. And what's the ripple effect of that? Is that you have that alignment, the word you use, this congruence, this feeling that there isn't a disconnect between what's happening on the inside and what facial expression you have or the face that you're going out into the world with. And I don't mean the face with the makeup, without the makeup, or whether you define yourself as pretty or other people define you as good-looking or not good-looking or skinny or not or any of that stuff. face of— are you bringing a face of joy? Are you bringing a face of gratitude? Are you bringing a face of confidence or a face of compassion for other people? Because it shows. I mean, there's just no question. It shows all the time in so many ways. In listening to you, I think one of the words that comes up for me, and it's just— we're endlessly fascinated with people, and seemingly everybody has their own definition of this one word. And so I'm going to ask you about resilience and what does that word mean to you, if there's a recipe for resilience or things that have just helped you to become more or create more resilience in your life? I'd love to get your thoughts on that.

Yeah. I mean, I always say that I'm rebranding resilience and the reason why is because to me resilience isn't just about standing back up. Resilience is about actually making something out of whatever you've gone through and I think that resilience is about self-responsibility. I mean, I have a quick story here that I just think really illustrates this and can be really inspiring to people. But one day, 2 years after losing my brother and going through multiple rounds of treatment with different doctors for Lyme disease and having 30 doctors tell me that it would never go away, that I'd always have Lyme, that we could get it under control but not get rid of it, I'm sitting in my car and I'm in my parents' driveway and I had just decided to take 2 months off of work because I was drowning. I mean, this was really like I had a breakdown one day and felt I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and made my dad take me to the emergency room. And I was living on my own. I mean, I was, God, I was in my late 20s at the time, but I couldn't function. I felt like a child again. It was so crazy. And so, you know, things had gotten really, really bad. And I knew that if there was any part of me that I was okay with taking time off work, there was a reason to worry. You know, like things were bad. I'm sitting in my parents' driveway. I had just gotten myself onto a 9-month waitlist to see the one doctor that I had heard of who I knew could cure Lyme disease and this was after searching and searching and searching and I'm sitting in my car and I'm thinking like, I don't have 9 months. Like I actually don't have 9 months. I was at the point and this is so vulnerable to admit when I talk about vulnerability but I was at the point where every night I was praying God, if I'm not meant to be here anymore, please just take me in my sleep. Like, I would never do anything. I don't want to hurt my family. They've been through so much pain. But if I can't imagine that this is how I'm meant to live, like, please just take me if that's what's meant to be. Because I couldn't understand. Like, I felt like I was dying, so I couldn't understand why I was going through all of this. And then in the car, I have this breakthrough moment that changes everything. And I'm having like words with God or my higher self, or just like talking to the universe. And I knew from the work that I do, that I've done as a coach, and that I've done around mindset, that this was still in my experience. If I was still struggling and suffering at this level, then there was some part of me that was keeping this experience of pain in my life. So I got really honest, and I asked myself out loud, in the car, in my parents' driveway, what part of me is accepting this level of pain, grief, and sadness year after year? And what I heard back changed everything. I like, it wasn't like this audible thing that happens in the movies, but felt that I heard God speak back to me. And what I heard was, you haven't decided. You know, and so I'm like in the middle of my tears and snot and everything, but still a smartass. And I'm like, haven't decided what? You know, ignoring the fact that I just heard God talk to me. But all of a sudden, like a movie, I see my life. Mm-hmm. Like flash before my eyes. And this looked the way that they describe it in movies. And it's like, I see myself speaking and traveling and having kids and being a mom and being in a great partnership and being on TV and teaching and doing all these things that I've seen, like in my vision, you know, that I've seen myself doing since I was a kid. And I knew that a lot of that wasn't possible, or not possible at the level that I desired it, if I wasn't mentally, physically, and emotionally well. And so, you know, I had heard this, like, you haven't decided. And I was like, holy crap, like, oh my God, I haven't decided. There's this part of me that's been teetering between in and out of this life. And it was like earth-shattering to me. So I said out loud, I'm not done. I was like, I'm not done. I'm not done with this life. I'm not finished. In fact, I'm just getting started. I'm going to keep building my company. I'm going to finish writing my book. I'm going to have a beautiful marriage and family, and my reality didn't look like that. I think now looking back, it was because I hadn't fully chosen it, and there was this part of me that had become very comfortable being sick because it gave me an excuse to hide. And so I'm not blaming myself for being sick. Certainly, I did not put a tick on myself and make sure I got bit. Let's be clear about that. I'm not blaming myself or anyone else for the things that we go through, but there was this part of me that I now feel, and this has been very healing for For me to accept and take responsibility for, when we start this conversation about resilience, I had gotten comfortable being sick and I had gotten comfortable hiding. And I decided that just because my brother died, just because Beau wasn't here, didn't mean that I had to too. And once I decided, the miracles started to pour in. That 9-month waitlist became an 8-week waitlist. I got a call, I got in. I was Lyme-free before my 30th birthday. I'm now in a phenomenal relationship that's so supportive. We've grown our business to a million-dollar business. We've sold millions of dollars in coaching. I mean, it's quite incredible. And people just see the highlight reel sometimes and they just see like the end result. But to me, that's what resilience is. It's about not just getting back up, but being like, you know what? I'm going to make something of this. Like if I was going to go through all of that, then it had to be for a reason. And I'm going to create the reason.

Yeah, that makes so much sense to me. The Rocky model, which is— I think about how many, many people define resilience. They see the old Rocky movie. I guess today's like old movie day or something. I don't know.

I love it.

1976 is the first Rocky, and now there's like 8 or whatever, 18 movies or something. But he gets knocked down,

right?

That's his thing. Sylvester Stallone gets knocked down, gets back up, gets knocked down, gets back up. I've often asked people, and I haven't yet done the research, so I guess this is one more time I'm gonna say it, that I want to count how many times this guy gets knocked down, gets his ass just handed to him, and he gets back up. And that's how I think a lot of people think about resilience, is they just keep taking the punches, man. And that's the resilient ones. And some people are born resilient. The rest of us, you know, it's just not in the cards. And that's just BS. I'm gonna call BS on it because the research is clear that's not the case. And in person, my personal experience Much the same as yours, different scenarios, different situations, different nights or days of wondering whether I could take another hit, so to speak.

Right.

And I've learned it's not about getting back up. It's just what you said. It's about what you make of it. I really hope you're enjoying this episode of the Change Proof Podcast. If you've not yet gone out and gotten your own copy, It's not too late. You can get your copy right now by going to changeproof.com and not only getting the book and all the bonuses there, but getting access to our proprietary resilience assessment tool. It'll just take you 3 minutes to do, and it's something that will really help you to utilize the book even more effectively to create practices and rituals and and habits that will increase your mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual resilience for the long term. Again, go to changeproof.com to get your copy today. We talk about recovery. We talk about the recharge because that's really what creates resilience, and that's how people can learn resilience. And that profound skill, and it is a skill, it's a tool, it's the most important thing for anybody today. And it's the one thing if I was gonna again wave the magic wand for our kids and for anybody's, anybody or anybody's children, it would be that

they

learn that tool, that skill and be able to be really proficient at recovery, at the recharge because it's in the recharge we regain our energy to explore. We regain our energy to be able to find the meaning in things and then— And do something with it, as you said. And I think it's really brilliant the way you reframed that, that it's how we make something out of it that really defines whether we've been resilient. And I can't think of anything more fitting for all of our listeners than to start practicing that right away. And practice is key. So is there one thing— and I know this is a tough question, but rituals are important to me and I know to a lot of our community members too— is there one particular ritual that you've got that helps you to create that resilience on a daily, even just a Yeah,

for me, my ritual is definitely journaling. Like, I've gotten a lot better at this stuff, but I still struggle with it sometimes. And often I have to shift my mindset daily. So I use journaling not just to vent and like share what's present for me, but actually to shift my mindset and to ask to be— ask to see things differently.

Writing and journaling. And writing doesn't have to be the sort of the pressure that some people feel from writing too, because journaling is a very powerful tool. And what I read was a great book that I recently finished called Atomic Habits. And one of the things that pointed out in that book is that you can just journal for where you say, hey, here's my whole goal in journaling. I'm going to write till I'm done writing, till I just decide I've finished. And it doesn't matter whether that's in the middle of a sentence, whether you got the whole thought out, whether you think you've done a good job or not, just sort of no judgment around it. And if that's one sentence Yeah. If it turns out that you just have the time and the inspiration to write for an hour, fine. That's okay. That's perfect as well. But what a great ritual. In closing, we'll say this, that I need reminders, and I think you've said that as well, that often we're teaching the things that we most are in the process of learning. And so for me, one of the great reminders every day is that I, upon waking, and we all know that that's From so many other people's experiences included, and the ones we know intimately ourselves, that it's not a guarantee. It's

not

a thing when we go to bed tonight that we get to wake up. You know, that's not something we can take for granted.

It's not promised.

Right? It's not promised. And the waking itself is a ritual. And I think if we all tomorrow morning, when we get that, we're restored to that blessing, and we can take a moment, take a deep breath, and realize And realize just how much there is for us to appreciate in the moment. I don't mean everything's perfect. I don't mean that you should convince yourself that life is better than it is in the moment, you know, because it could be that you're struggling in some way. We all have struggles and there's no comparing them because pain is pain. You know, your pain, my pain, they may be very different, but they feel the same. And so it is certainly not to diminish that, the reality of our lives, and yet And yet, in the midst of any of that, including the loss of somebody that you love like your brother, there were still things to appreciate like your parents and like the people that were there for you and for your own life. And I think so tomorrow we get to be reminded, I'm going to get reminded even right now that waking up is a thing to be grateful for, that I've got something to appreciate in that moment. And then I sort of couple So I couple that ritual with another one, which is to declare, to say something out loud that I really want to believe and I want to feel. And after 10 years, I no longer am on the side of faking it and then, you know, just wanting to wear something that doesn't necessarily fit at the moment, but I want it to fit over time. Hmm. I started saying these words a long time ago when I would wake up in the morning and feel a lot of anxiety about the day and not feel good about what I was doing. doing with my life and frankly, even feeling like I was a fraud because I was mostly doing what I was doing for the money and not for any higher purpose. And I started to say these words. I started to say, I love my life.

Mm-hmm.

And I didn't even— I didn't make those words up. I had seen them in a movie called Jerry Maguire. And I remember this mentor, Jerry's mentor in that movie, talks about, I love my wife. I love my life. And I thought to myself, geez. Because if I could only just do that one thing, just to come over to the side of being that loves life regardless of what the circumstances are, that would be a good place to be. And so 10 years later, I start the day with those same words and I'm not faking it anymore. I don't have any question about that. So here's my call out. This is the call to action here that everybody wakes up tomorrow. with you, Katie, and get your agreement to that. Are you gonna wake up tomorrow?

I hope so. Yes.

Right? More conscious, more awake, more aware, whatever. You know, awake is so many things. And obviously physically, when that happens, we know that's a blessing as well. And the words I'm gonna say are, I love my life, but they might be different for you. What are the words, Katie, that you're gonna say when you wake up tomorrow? Just give us an example.

I usually say like, I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful.

That's way cool. I met a woman recently I have tremendous respect for, and she wakes up and she's in her 70s and she says, I wonder what miracles are coming today. And I thought, oh man, that's absolutely awesome. And I have started saying that too. So let's all think about what miracles are possible. And when we do get to wake up tomorrow, we can appreciation and gratitude in that moment and declare something out loud as we put our feet on the floor. I feel great appreciation for you, Katie DePaola. Thank you for the work you're doing and all the lives that you are changing. And Inner Glow Circle is a wicked cool company. Yeah. And I love you as the founder and creator of a lot of transformation. And so folks, go ahead and on our page here where you'll get to find all the show notes and information about Katie's company and the work that they're doing, the coaching they're doing, the community that they've curated. I think it's— she's got an epic message. She's got a book that's coming out really soon. So please check that out on the show notes and click and discover for yourself what's there for you because I just don't believe there's any coincidences in any of this. And hearing Katie talk today or listening to these things, I think it's so perfectly intended. And I'll just say again, thank you, Katie, for being on the show. Thank you, everybody. Feel free to leave us messages as well. We love to get the feedback. If you haven't subscribed, please do that as well. And you can go to adammarkel.com/podcast to leave a comment. Thank you. And we just love all the feedback and all the good thoughts. So everybody, ciao for now. See you soon again.

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