#206: How Your Authentic Self Can Change the World

Life happens, and not always the way we expect it to. Every single day we face change, stress, and uncertainty. What if you could learn to thrive no matter what life throws your way? Resilience expert Adam Markel and his inspiring guests explore breakthrough strategies to fully embrace change and build the resilience required to become change-proof.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode Welcome to another episode of the Conscious Pivot Podcast. I'm your host, Adam Markel. And I feel really blessed in this moment, just feel great to be sitting in the seat today and have a wonderful guest on the show. And I'll get to introducing her in just a second, but I feel extremely lucky to be alive and to be breathing in this moment. There's so much going on in the world. There's so much going on in each of our individual lives. And I cannot, for the life of me, just cannot think of anything that is better for my daily, my mindset, for how I feel in my body, for things that are going on on the unconscious level. I just can't feel any better than I do in this moment, which is to be in gratitude, to feel blessed and lucky even in the midst of anything and everything that's happening around us. That is a— it's just a secret weapon that's not secret and that we don't want to keep secret. So with that, I have just a wonderful guest and I'm I'm so looking forward to the conversation that you guys will all get to, to be experiencing as well. And her name is Carly Hauck. She's a senior learning architect, leadership development consultant, author, and speaker with companies such as LinkedIn, Pixar, Clif Bar, Intuit, and many, many more. She serves as an adjunct faculty member at Stanford University and UC Berkeley Haas School of Business, teaching the subject of leadership in business as a platform for positive change in the world. It's such a pleasure to have you on the show today, Carly. Welcome. Thank you.

Thank you, Adam. Lovely to be here.

Yeah, it's so cool. What's not a part of that very impressive bio that I just read? What's one thing that's not included in that that you would love for people to know about you right now?

Well, you and I were just talking about this before the recording hit. I feel really excited about my upcoming book that is going to be launching in about a month, or birthing, we should say. And so I'm just very I'm very focused on really staying true to the essence of that book because even in the midst of the darkness and the transition that we are in, in our world right now, I really believe that there is the dark before the dawn. And I feel like we have this huge privilege and opportunity to really build the most beautiful world together. And Even in the midst of the division and the uncertainty and the ambiguity and the volatility, there are those of us that are shining the light and are seeing what I think is possible.

The book is called Shine, so that's a perfect segue, really. Would you share the subtitle of that book?

Shine: Ignite Your Inner Game to Lead Consciously at Work and in the World.

Resilience. It's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And in times of massive change and disruption, the kind of rapid change that we're all experiencing as leaders, as business owners, as entrepreneurs, we have to learn how to not only increase our own resilience, but that of our teams. So right now, we have a powerful opportunity for you to find out just how resilient you are. Some years ago, my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilience leader assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. Absolutely magnificent. Way cool. So we took a fast break there to remove the earrings that were making a little clickety-clack sound in the audio. And that's just, that's just the real world, right? Things we need to make adjustments from time to time. And, and I think that when we, when we're able to do that, it's easier, potentially easier for us to shine our light. I mean, there's so many things that get in the way of us truly shining in the world. Little things. My experience, and I want to get your beat on this, is that it's often not the big, the big things. It's not a COVID crisis that gets in the way of our ability to share our greatest gifts with other people. Yeah, it might sideline us. It might be something we never forget. It's certainly going to be a pivot point for a lot of people and one that we will remember. But it's not those things that often, I think, get in the way. It's sort of day-to-day little things that interfere. What's your beat on that? Does that make sense or not to you?

You know, I feel like there are a lot of people in the world right now that may not have the same privilege and the same resources to really be able to shine. And so if they are living in survival mode, right, they're just really focused on, do I have a safe place to live? Do I have enough food? Can I take care of my family? I think that sometimes inhibits their greatest potential because they're really doing the best that they can. And that doesn't mean that they're not shining. They may be shining in that moment, but I do think that there are those of us that have, again, more resources, inner and outer, and that can impact our ability to bring our best self.

If you can answer this question, great. If not, I think it's actually tough. It's a tough question and we can maybe explore it together, but I'm just curious, do you think it's that It's more important in terms of that ability to shine, which is a concept I want us to unpack more, more than we have so far. Do you think it's easier for a person to share or shine when they have the outer resources or when they have the inner resources?

I think it's the inner. Yeah, because the inner rules the outer. And I talk a lot about that in my body of work, but it's also just something that I Keep having to practice even more deeply in my own life. And 2019 and '20 have been an even deeper dive for me around that.

Yeah. And your book has taken, I think you said to me right before we officially started, that the book has been in the incubation, they'll call it the birthing stage. You know, a baby takes about 9 months to birth. Sometimes a book, and I know this personally well, that that can take years. It can take many, many years. So you're in the 3rd year of the process of birthing this body of work. What's that been like? What's been the biggest challenge in seeing this thing through to fruition?

Great question. Well, I was actually asked to write a book almost 7 years ago, shortly after my first semester teaching at Stanford. I had an acquisitions editor come to me and ask me, and I wasn't ready. In fact, I said, who has time to write a book? That was my answer. When she said, Carlye, Your curriculum's amazing. Have you thought about writing a book? So there's been a longer gestation period of me getting ready. As you know, the stages of change, you know, there's like the preparation and then you finally get into, you know, the stage of readiness. But the writing of this book started really when Trump was elected. And not to get political here.

It was a catalytic moment.

Yeah, the inauguration is, 2 days away, so it's very much, I think, in the hearts and minds of many of us. I really saw us going off a cliff, so to speak, in many ways, just in how we were treating one another, the lack of awareness around our consumption and how that was impacting the planet, and so many other things. And so I really wanted to showcase a pathway and tools and skills we could all grow to be the leaders that our world needs now to really build a much more beautiful world than we may have thought was possible. And that commitment to the world I want to create and build with everyone is what kept me going in the midst of some setbacks and some challenges and a lot of A lot of personal sacrifice, honestly. Lots of weekends, lots of time not dating anyone. I'm not married. So just really committed to this process of the book.

What would you say the greatest challenge in writing, in moving through the gestation phases was or has been?

Well, near the very end of writing this book, I actually found out that the editor that had been working on the book with me did not do a great job of editing. So I actually had to find another editor, actually, after I'd already turned in the final submission of the book. So this, this was not something I was expecting, but I, I had to dig even deeper and kind of trim the fat, so to speak, because I'm a first-time author, and it took more months of commitment. than I had already kind of signed up for, but there was no waiver in my system or my body. It was like just a very clear, no, I'm going to continue with this. I'm committed to this. I want to see this come out in the world. But it was 7 more months before that manuscript was ready. And I love this book. Like, you know, you and I were talking about it kind of being like a baby. I felt protective of it then. And I'm so proud of it now.

Well, this podcast will be out before the book is out, which is exciting because people can start to think about it. And I assume it'll be available for preorder at some point. In the show notes for this particular episode, we'll have a link where you can find out more about the book, whether that's going to be to preorder it or to look for it on Amazon or what have you. But does the book track— I'd love to get a sense of the through line. You know, one of the things that our company does and that I love doing is coaching people, getting people ready to deliver TED Talks, as an example. And so that's the question we're constantly asking is, what's the through line? And what's that main sort of the spine, if you will, to use that term for the book, that's kind of a convenient metaphor.

Love the question. And I'll also just share, it's actually available for preorder now. The book is coming out in hardcover and audiobook

Love it. So, so cool. Yes.

Thank you. But the through line is, is that it's about how do we cultivate this conscious inner game? So how do we cultivate consciousness on the inside, going back to the inner resources that you asked me about, and then allow it to shine on the outside? And in my experience in the last decade of working with lots of leaders and managers and teaching these principles and qualities to thousands of people. I feel like these particular qualities of consciousness allow us to create a workplace and a world that one is inclusive and supports belonging, but is also living in greater sustainability with the earth. And you follow the path of 9 leaders throughout the book, in addition to engaging in your own inner practices. And you really see how they're embodying this way of conscious and inclusive leadership at work and in the world. And some of the leaders, one that most people will know is Marc Benioff, CEO of Salesforce. But then there's also another incredible leader who's based in India. Her name's Rhea Singhal, and she started the first compostable tableware company in India. So they're really inspiring people and stories.

Beautiful. I believe you had said to me that there are 6 key skills. There's more than 6, but there's 6 that you focus on in the book. And I thought it'd be kind of fun since one of those skills is resilience, and that's, that's so near and dear to our heart. In fact, I'm even wearing my I Am Resilient shirt today since I delivered a keynote to an organization earlier in the day on that topic of how you develop and cultivate resilience. So I know resilience is one. I want to get your beat on that, but let's save that for last. What are the other 5? skills that are really essential to that more conscious way of leading?

Self-awareness. So if we don't have our, you know, self-awareness, we can't really be aware of our patterns, our thoughts, mindset, how we can really learn, grow, and change. Emotional intelligence, which really encompasses self-awareness, but then self-management, other awareness, empathy, relationship mastery. That's a big one. Then there is well-being, like how are we prioritizing self-care but then also extending that to the well-being of others and the planet? Love, how are we leading from love within ourselves and with the other? And authenticity, because that supports greater safety, greater trust, greater inclusion and belonging.

What do you think it is, or what does your research suggest creates Authenticity or gives permission for people to be authentic? Because when I think of authenticity, often it's a tough word for me to kind of nail down. So I tend to think of it more like transparency, but maybe there's more to it than just being transparent or being honest even. I'd love to have your sense of what authenticity is really all about.

Yeah, I think authenticity is, well, and I guess to speak to, it's giving Ourselves permission, right? Because ultimately you can go, Carly, this is really a safe space. You can share, you know, everything you want with me, right? And so while that's really lovely, I also have to check in with myself and say, well, what's authentic? Maybe I don't feel safe to share that right now. And so I would say it's, it's giving myself permission to be vulnerable and not— and actually really embracing all the feelings that might come up around that. Like maybe there's shame, Maybe there's a sense of guilt depending on what I share. Maybe there's apprehension or fear, which I would say is actually usually always there before you're about to get really vulnerable. And even in the process for me of, of really coming out with this book and this message, I tend to be more self-effacing than self-promoting. So it actually feels vulnerable in many cases for me to be Promoting and marketing, but the way I've grokked it for myself and grown my mindset is that it's in service of humanity. It's in service of the world that I want to build, and when I can hold it in that lens, it's a lot easier for me to be vulnerable and to show up. But vulnerability, I think, is inherent in authenticity, and you can be transparent But it can also be harsh and it can not actually have care or kindness. And so when I think about authenticity, I think of it as speaking my truth with care and kindness for myself and for the other, because otherwise it won't be received well.

Wow. The pace of change over the last couple of years has been rapid. And if you're a leader, a business owner, an entrepreneur, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Every day it's something different, something new. But the one thing that I've learned in performing at the height of all of those roles has been that we must be resilient. In fact, it's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And it's the reason why my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilient leader The first step to take to take this assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. I once heard that speaking your truth without compassion is brutality. I thought that's Yeah. I don't know that anybody wakes up in the morning and decides, I want to be brutal today. I mean, I think there are people who do wake up thinking of ways that they can take advantage of others. And obviously, that's the case. But I think most people don't wake up with that being their goal, that they want to be brutal. They want to show up in the best way they're capable of, but they're under-resourced, let's say, in some respects, and then lean on more old default patterns. And the default patterns might be, as you say, driven by fear. fear and insecurity. And so instead of making themselves vulnerable, which is uncomfortable, they opt instead to allow their ego or some other aspect of their protective selves to just squash people or squash situations or conversations that would expose them as somebody who's just like the rest of us, frail at times, vulnerable at times, wrong, not always correct and the like. And in a business context, that's a really You know, that's thin ice, at least. Yeah, just let me get your thoughts on that. Do you think that the business environment has, has really truly changed to allow for giving and give— gives permission for people to show up in that authentic and even vulnerable way? Or is it just still a lot of good lip service to these principles?

I think it's really— and that's a great question— I think all companies and all people are growing In that case, I feel like it really is modeled by the leadership at the top, how authentic and how vulnerable everyone else can be. And so that's why I love working with leaders and managers, because I feel that I have the greatest potential to impact positive change in the workplace culture, but then in the greater world and how they're delivering their product, what product they're putting out there, right? Like, how is it inclusive? How is it sustainable? But the more vulnerable the leader is willing to be, and this is hard, right? Leaders are supposed to know how to navigate things, right? And in some ways they can be arrogant, they can be self-righteous. So you can again be authentic with self-righteousness. Yeah, be authentic.

I am authentically ego, an egomaniac.

Yeah, and say, I know what's right. I'm authentically narcissistic. Right? Like that, that could be authentic.

Yeah, totally.

But without humility, without—

Yeah.

Real dialogue, like, this is what I think, what do you think? You know, or this is what I think, and I'm not totally sure it's actually going to be the answer for the complexity we're navigating right now. I'd love your support. What, what is your feedback? What are your views? What's your lens? And so that kind of incorporates the other. And that's vulnerability. But when I— I don't think of that as weakness. I think of that as strength, actually.

I love that idea. It first landed for me when I'd heard Brené Brown speaking about vulnerability and it being a strength and shared that as many times as I could think of opportunities to and still feel really strongly that that's the case, that vulnerability is in fact strength. And I'm kind of pressed I'm pressing you a little bit here, a little hard on this word authenticity, only to be authentic myself that I have called— I've called that word out from stage and places at times only because you put your finger on it. I mean, I could be authentically an asshole. I mean, that's my authentic self is to just like shit on people or what have you. And you're right, somebody that's in that role as a leader, whether they're the leader of the free world or they're the leader of a startup or a Fortune 50 company, if that's genuinely who they are, then to pretend that there's something other than that for the sake of making HR happy or whatever else might be, to make them a kinder, gentler version of who they really are is an issue. So I think it's a really important concept to unpack. And that would be what I'd look forward to in the book and in, I'm sure in your teaching and the work that you do at Berkeley and at Stanford that you have these really great deep conversations or even in the work you do with organizations because the word you used earlier to me is the, is the really the most powerful word for me since I'm about 20 years old, and that's humility.

Mm-hmm.

And I think humility is the combination of these things that we're talking about. It's authenticity, it's transparency, it's honesty, it's vulnerability. It's the opposite or the antithesis of ego. Um, I just finished this book. I don't know if you've read it, but, and I mentioned it a bunch of times, and I don't really, I mean, it's a good book. I don't, it's a good book, but the topic is what's really great. And that's this, Ego Is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. And more and more, I think how ego gets in the way of so many things. And the antidote to ego is humility, I think. Not— does that make sense? I'm picking at this just to be not so much semantical about it, but just like—

No, I love it.

What's the essence of authenticity? And I think it's—

I love your line of inquiry. And I want to take us back a step too, because it was a great question. You asked me, is this really just like lip service that these companies are putting out there? And I think, again, it's a learning curve for many, but I really think in 2021, we're going to see more pressure on are these companies being accountable? So like we even look at this rise in DEI, right? In companies and corporations.

Yes.

Diversity, equity, and inclusion, which is a real passion of mine. And I really try to bring as much of an inclusive lens to all my work as I can. And I am always learning and growing, and that will never stop, especially as we're trying to, you know, really understand the experience of another, right, who has had a different lived experience than I. And I feel like in order to really create the changes that our world needs now, it's, it's an interpersonal process of what am I changing within myself? How am I growing my mindset, my awareness? Mm-hmm. my language, but it's also an external, you know, process of systems, of structures that need to be held accountable so that real change happens. And so that requires vulnerability and it also requires forgiveness. So I talk about forgiveness a lot in the essence of authenticity because I have to acknowledge that I'm a messy human. And I'm going to make mistakes all the days of my life. I'm not always going to get it right. And I'm not always going to be responsive. Sometimes I'm reactive. And if I can be forgiving to myself, then I can be so much more forgiving to other people and hold them with compassionate accountability.

Mm-hmm.

You know, like have compassion for their mistakes, for their messiness, because I have it too, but also hold them accountable to what they said they're going to do. So it was kind of a long answer, but it's not just saying I'm authentic and then being vulnerable. It's also then walking your talk. So if you're going to say something, then follow up with action, or I don't think you're being authentic.

Yes. I think Osho years and years ago said something like, you can forgive every minute or every moment. There was some line. He had some really amazing things that he shared. through his books years and years ago. And of course, he's been kind of canceled, I suppose, is the word we might use for it. And maybe with good reason. No judgment about that. But one of those things that stuck with me is that we can really forgive every moment. And by that, I think we hang on to things, whatever little anger, resentment, or self-judgment, judgments of others, but we hang on to these things and they become really They're really heavy. And so to be at our best in every capacity, we've got to— we have the choice to let go of those things moment by moment. So we're lighter, we're more agile, we're more flexible.

We're more resilient, right? If we hold on to those, we're not as resilient.

We're not. And, and I think so that forgiveness idea to me is the essence of letting go, that we forgive something, we let it We release it. I think that really is such a fundamentally important thing. I want to get your— because you just teed it up so well— I want to get your definition of what resilience is and how you define it. And how has this year challenged your resilience? What's shown up for you in that area?

So much.

It's like, where do I begin, right? Yeah. Why?

Because we were talking about forgiveness. So one of my mentors, friends, soul family is Fred Luskin, who did his dissertation on forgiveness at Stanford, and he has written a few books on forgiveness. His probably most famous is called Forgive for Good, where he basically identifies, you know, 9 skills that he's validated by his research at Stanford on how to forgive. And one of the things that he often tells me is Is that I'm one of the most resilient people he's ever met. Not that I want to.

What a compliment!

It is. I've had a lot of challenges in this life, and I don't want to tell all of my challenges here, but I can share often. Take on. All right. Hopefully we're going to cut that out.

Oh no, we got to keep that. That's

the best.

You sound. Are you a perfectionist?

No, no, we can, we can leave the blooper. That's me being authentic, right? I can share authentically and vulnerably, um, a little bit about 2020. And so, and this is my resilience story, so to speak. So before 2020 even got here, I— and actually, I guess I'll back up. What is my definition? Since you asked, my definition Resilience is really the ability to see adversity, struggle, challenge from a mindset of how is this for me versus why is this happening to me? And then really identifying what I have control of, what I don't have control of, and then taking the next step forward.

I'm just going to quickly put up on the screen here for those of you watching it on YouTube and for those of you who are just listening, it's It's interesting that our definition of resilience and yours are really very similar, wouldn't you say?

Mm-hmm.

So what it says is leveraging the power or leveraging adversity, leveraging uncertainty as a catalyst for long-term growth. Because our thoughts and experience on this is that being resilient is not just about bouncing back as the term goes. Bouncing forward. And I've been a pretty resilient person in my personal life and in my career as well. And it seems like every pivot that was adverse or seemed adverse led to some growth for me going forward and led to some momentum in some area, whether it was that area of business or life or it was something else. And that means that resilience is not just sort of hanging on the way I think people feel about it. You know, like I've got my white knuckles or my nails are just, you know, clawing my way I'm gritty. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with grit, but I don't want to live— I personally don't want to live gritty. That's not the way I want to experience my own life. I want to see that, like Dr. King, who we just celebrated his birthday yesterday, that Dr. King said something to the effect that life is like a staircase. We can't see the top of the stairs. All we can see maybe is a step or two ahead of us. But what's interesting as you live longer is you see how when you look back down that staircase, that everything was just perfectly ordered to get you right to where you were.

Mm-hmm.

So, you know, to me, that's all about progress. And it sounds like you had a challenging 2020 and all to lead you to the point where you are, where you are right now, ready to launch a book. And is that— am I

Yeah, yeah.

Getting too simplistic about it?

Yeah, I mean, essentially, I lived in California in the Bay Area for almost 14 years, and 2019 was actually much more difficult for me than 2020. It was kind of a reckoning, a leveling up— not even a leveling up. I mean, I just got leveled. It was just like all the things in my life That I cared about most were just like, like, I just had to like, they all kind of died, so to speak. And so I was in this like building up my foundation. I mean, everything I talked about in the book, I had to go even deeper. Like I had to just need it even more deeply. And then I was writing also from that place. So. It was very much, you know, a transformation on the inside that was coming up in the book. And I don't know about you, Adam, but this is the agreement I have with the divine, which I'm always very much guided by. But if I'm teaching or writing or speaking on anything, she, the divine, always goes, oh yeah? Oh yeah, you think you're an expert on resilience? Well, what do you think about these forest fires in California for 5 weeks? Figure that out. You can't breathe. You can't, you can't go anywhere. You know, it's just like, she's always, I think, inviting us to go deeper. And so that was my 2019. So when 2020 came, I had already let go. I had gotten used to surrendering and letting go in a much bigger way. And so in March, my landlord kind of went off the rails. So to speak, when the pandemic hit and it became very toxic for me to continue to live in the Oakland Hills where I'd been living for 7 and a half years. So I put all my stuff in storage except some like small belongings. I moved to the Eastern Sierras in a community house with a friend for 3 months. I just had Enough for my bedroom and a standing desk. And it was a really beautiful summer. We lived 30 minutes from everything, like even the closest gas station. And I just did a lot of spiritual practice and spent a lot of time in nature. And it was glorious. Mm-hmm. And then those 3 months were up. And I was thinking I was going to move back to Northern California. But the fires came. And I had put all the rest of my stuff in storage. It just all was happening at the same time. I got on a plane to Asheville, North Carolina. I just bought a one-way ticket. I had all my stuff in a small backpack and suitcase. And I thought, I'm just going to try this on. There's water, there's clean air. I had a few friends here. And everything just started opening up. And I decided, Carly, I don't want to live like a gypsy anymore. I don't want to go back to California. I can just feel the energy is not moving. It's not opening there for me. I'm going to try this on. So I drove cross-country a week later from California to North Carolina. I slept on a mattress here in my new house in Black Mountain, about 20 minutes outside of Asheville. And had just my standing desk, which I realize I'm quite attached to. It's like the one thing, being a writer, right? Being a facilitator and a speaker in a remote virtual world, the standing desk is kind of like, you know, like water.

Indeed it is.

And I've been here for a little over 2 and a half months, and it has not been Easy. You know, I miss the climate of California. I miss my soul family. I left some really like good people back there, but I'm learning a lot on what I like, what I don't like, and continually trying to just stay in gratitude.

Hmm.

I had the privilege to be able to do this. I still have the privilege and there's a lot to be grateful for. And I'm just kind of taking it day by day and, and we'll see where I go next. It's the step, as you said.

I really hope you're enjoying this episode of the Change Proof Podcast. If you've not yet gone out and gotten your own copy of Change Proof, it's not too late. You can get your copy right now by going to changeproofbook.com. And not only getting the book and all the bonuses there, but getting access to our proprietary resilience assessment tool. It'll just take you 3 minutes to do, and it's something that will really help you to utilize the book even more effectively to create practices and rituals and habits that will increase your mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual resilience. And I'm so glad you shared that. It's been years since I've been to Asheville, but that part of the state, North Carolina, the Blue Ridge Mountains, rhododendrons the size of literally trees. They are massive, right? Because the climate just is so hospitable.

Not quite in the winter, but I hope to see them in the Oh, you will.

I've never seen them in bloom there. We have a place on the Cape and we have some big rhodos there that bloom in the spring that we got to see this past year for the first time because of COVID We had left the West Coast in May and went out to live on this little island and got to see things in bloom that we'd never seen in 15 years that we'd had this house. So I think you're going to be, if you're there in the spring, You'll be blown away by the color of those ruins.

That's what I've heard. It's totally beautiful here in the spring. So I'm waiting, waiting to see that.

What a treat. That's sort of like waiting for, I don't know, waiting for something really special. And I think that's— there's an element of that in— that's either part of our mindset each day that we're waiting for wonderful things to happen, like we're just expecting them.

Mm-hmm.

And waiting on them, or we have a mindset that's looking at darker things. So to go back to what you said at the very beginning, and maybe that's the whole classic half, you know, glass is half full, half empty thing. I was a lawyer for 18 years. I'm a practical person. I have fears. I succumb to my fears from time to time. I battle them time to time, but I lean positive. And I think it's— I don't know that I'm undecided as to whether a person who's leaned negative for a lot of years can suddenly just lean positive. I think you can. I know that I was pretty miserable for a lot of years, even though I had a lot to be grateful for. I used to wake up in the morning and put my feet on the floor and feel anxiety at the beginning of the day. That wasn't positive. I got angry a lot and easily angered as well. And I was a litigation attorney, so it was kind of a joke that I had a place for my anger. profit from my anger, actually. So to pivot out of that way of being was a really big deal for me, and it took a while. So maybe I'm answering that question for other people when I say I think you can choose to lean differently than you currently do, but it's not necessarily easy or overnight. And that's the reason we came out with this book. The I Love My Life Challenge was just all about how do we support if somebody wanted to try to lean differently, lean more toward loving themselves unconditionally, loving the world actually, everything unconditionally. How do you do that? I mean, it's not an overnight thing, but you got to recognize that one of the great laws of the universe is that things— that anytime you change one thing, so many other things change in response to it. And, and that's the butterfly effect. See, but, but if you don't make that singular change, any one even infinitesimally small change, then everything remains the status quo. It just remains the same. And maybe that is the call to action for businesses as well. It's not that you won't get those leaders that are egotistical or, you know, just don't check in. The concept of checking in with themselves and acknowledging how they're feeling and then being vulnerable to share it with others, like, hey, you know what I just realized? I sound like an idiot, or I sound really aggressive right now. I'm really coming from a place of a lot of fear is coming up in me as I'm responding to this situation. It takes a lot of self-awareness, as you said earlier. Maybe the greater hope is that by you coming out with the book that you've got, by all of us just speaking about this more and more, that even just a little micro change occurs, but that micro change leads to a myriad of other changes that make the world different, even if we can't see it in the moment.

Yeah, well, I, I love what you just said because I think that's what I believe, is that we all have a unique light to shine, right? So I'm shining it in my unique way, you're shining it in your unique way, and everyone has that capacity, you know, that strength, that brilliance. And if we're all doing that in our own way, Then we're all being the change. And it's going to require this transformation that I think is needed in our workplace, in our world. It requires all of us. You know, it's the way forward is for us to all come together. And if we think, oh, well, climate change is too big of a problem, or I don't have anything worthwhile to say, or, you know, I can't really offer any solution here. Well, that But that thinking is one not true. And I think we all have something beautiful that we can offer. Mm-hmm. And the thing is, is that if I'm shining over here and Adam, you're shining over here and this person's shining over here, then that means I can actually kind of lower my light. I can rest. I can take good care of myself. And because I know that you've got my back, you're doing it. And then when you need to rest, I, I go up and I shine again. And that's what helps us all be resilient.

Yes. So, so well said. I could speak to you for just days. I've enjoyed this and a little sad it's going to come to an end right now, but to be continued because folks can get out there and learn more about what you're doing and get their hands on your book and all the rest of it. And we can pick up this conversation another time as well. I really look forward to doing that. Thank you so much for being a guest. Yeah. I want to remind everybody as well that if you have questions that you'd like to pose to Carly or myself, you can leave a comment at adamarkel.com/podcast. Subscribe, of course, if you haven't already, and share with a friend. If you know somebody that would really benefit from just listening to some of what you heard today, feel free to share it with others. That's how our community has continued to steadily grow, and we appreciate it very, very much. Also want to remind myself and all of you that today was a great blessing. We got to wake up today. And, and I know that's for certain because you're— you listen to this, so you're awake. And I got to wake up as well. And the blessing, if it repeats itself again, which I'm counting on tomorrow, is a cause for celebration. So when you wake up tomorrow, put your feet on the floor and even for a moment, just feel grateful. You know, in the midst of everything going on in the world, sometimes difficult to cultivate a genuine feeling of gratitude. But once you do that, you've got that gratitude, it's like you're just grabbing the world by its tail, starting the day on the right foot, as my grandmother would say. And if you want to then take it up a notch even, you could put your feet on the floor, stand up, and say something out loud. When I used to start my day back in the day when I was not so happy, I would sort of grunt at the beginning and start the grunting noise or things like that. And now when I wake up, I feel that gratitude. I put my feet on the floor. I declare out loud, I love my life. I love my life. I love my life. You can say that or you can choose to say something else, but it's just been a tremendous blessing to have you all here. And I look forward to the next time that we get to connect. So ciao for now. And again, Carly, thanks so much for being a part of the Thank

you so much, Adam. Lovely to talk to you.

Thanks for listening. We hope you now have even more tools and greater insights to build resilience and become change-proof. Remember to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and you may be featured in an upcoming episode. For more resilience tips and strategies, including support for building change-proof teams, visit adammarkel.com. To get To get your own free resilience assessment, go to rankmyresilience.com.