#219: Overcoming Corporate Burnout: The Art Of Taking Care Of Yourself With Janet McKee

Life happens, and not always the way we expect it to. Every single day we face change, stress, and uncertainty. What if you could learn to thrive no matter what life throws your way? Resilience expert Adam Markel and his inspiring guests explore breakthrough strategies to fully embrace change and build the resilience required to become change-proof.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode Welcome to the Conscious Pivot Podcast. I'm your host, Adam Markel, and I feel very lucky in this moment just to be here, to be doing what I'm doing, to be alive and breathing, and just grateful to be surrounded by really great people. And I don't know that that's always something that we give enough credit to, the people that you are in proximity to, but I truly believe that being in close range to people that are— that think about things a little bit maybe differently than how the media thinks about them or the way the majority thinks about them sometimes, but people that are open-minded, I guess, is the way I would express that, is really important because it's through that open-mindedness that I find that I'm able to question my own beliefs, that I'm able to see things Differently. And certainly, whenever there's something of a problem that I might think of as a problem, it's usually only a problem because I haven't yet been able to look at it in a certain way that reveals the importance of it or reveals the opportunity in it or reveals the beauty in it. And until I find those things, I call it a problem. So to be open-minded and to be surrounded by people that reflect that and encourage it, I think, is really important. I have a great guest today, somebody that I've not met before. This is a new meeting for the two of us, which is great, but we have some friends in common. She's done work with an old friend of mine, Brian Tracy, and Jack Canfield, who I get to see a couple of times a year. Good, good people, people that fit that mold of what it means to be open And what I mean by that, I'll just say without divulging sort of personal things, I spent a fair amount of time with both of those gentlemen, but more with Jack Canfield. And his openness is, as many, many people love him and love how brilliant he is and his fatherly sort of air about him, but in person, as a friend or somebody that you're kind of in colleague settings with him, He's just as open. He's the guy who always sits in the front row right in the middle. Anytime we're together for a retreat or something, he's the guy, he and his beautiful wife sit right there in the center in the first row. And that's because they're eternal students. So, they're taking nights to watch him. Everybody always marvels at that. Like, what's he got to learn? He's in the sort of space of personal development. He's kind of at the near the top, if not at the top of the heap. And so, for him, That's a wonderful thing to see, somebody that's done well, has been a teacher to so many, but is still a lifelong learner himself. And so I value that about my friend Jack, and I value that about any of the people that I get to spend time with. And today, that person is Janet McKee. Janet McKee is a former Fortune 500 corporate executive where she nearly died from a massive case of burnout. You guessed it. Yeah, we're going to talk about that today. And after making a massive career leap She now helps people achieve success on their terms without being insanely stressed. What a concept. Janet co-authored a bestselling book with success legend Brian Tracy, and she also wrote Stressless Success. We're going to talk about what that all looks like, but for now, Janet, welcome to the Conscious Pivot Podcast. Thanks so much for being a guest.

Thank you, Adam. I am honored to be here. Thrilled to meet you.

Wonderful. One thing that's not a part of my bio that I just read, your introduction, what's one thing that you would love for people to know about you?

Well, as a result of everything I had been through, one of the things I developed as part of my business, which is SaunaView, is a farm. People are usually surprised to hear that I'm a farmer. And yes, I'm proud to say that. Actually, we developed a small 52-acre— it's actually a historic landmark organic farm as an offshoot of our health and wellness business that I run. And it is just fabulous. You want to talk about something that is more work than I ever thought, ever imagined, but it provides a richness to my life that nothing else could possibly offer. And I don't mean rich in terms of money riches. It's just the depth of what it has brought to me in my life and what it has brought out of me through hard work and so forth has just been incredible. And I invite anyone who wants to come and visit in the Laurel Mountains of Pennsylvania, come to Sauna View Farms.

That's just beautiful. I mean, yeah, I haven't heard too many farmers telling the story of their riches. I mean, I'm sure there are rich farmers. In fact, I had Mitzi Perdue on our show a couple of weeks ago. That episode probably at this point hasn't aired yet. But Mitzi, of course, her late husband was Frank Perdue. And then they were farmers. Oh. Frank Perdue grew up on a farm, on a poor farm, and his parents weren't wealthy. But man, oh man, did Perdue ever turn that around. So I guess there are cases where you could be a rich farmer But that's just not typically the case. So— Well,

actually, part of the story, and it's in Stressless Success, my book, a whole chapter about it, is my farm was losing money. We were losing money growing organic produce because it costs more growing produce than we would make selling it. I applied some of these principles that I was discovering and learning to the farm. And actually, it's now my biggest money-producing property that I own by far. So that's a whole part of my story, actually.

That's awesome. Oh, way cool. Like, we never want to see anything other than the successful farmer because we so, so need farms to succeed in our world. We need food.

I know.

Yeah, some might say we need food. I mean, um, but really unbelievable. That's maybe a conversation for a different day.

Yeah.

Let's go back to the time when you were a corporate executive working in a Fortune 500 company And why don't you sort of paint the average day for us just for a moment? When you said that you ended up nearly dying from massive burnout, bring us into that moment or that world for a little bit.

Oh, sure. That's a great question, Adam. I was always a high achiever. I mean, ever since I was little, I won first place in Junior Olympics and went on to graduate top of my class in high school and college. undergrad and graduate school and worked for 2 Fortune 500 companies and climbed the ladder, corporate ladder, very rapidly. So I was always that high achiever. So every day meant getting up before everyone else, getting myself ready. And back then, you know, this was decades ago, I'm an old lady, but it was put on your suit, your stockings, your pumps, your pearl earrings, you know, every day. Drive to the office, work incredibly long, high-pressure hours until 8 or 9 at night, from early in the morning, and then drive home. I remember I would eat dinner at 9 or 10 at night and then go back to work on my computer till I would crash in bed, wake up early, and do it all over again every single day. But that's what I was told growing up in a brilliant way by my father, that you need hard work. hard work and dedication to get ahead. So that's what I did. And that's what we're all taught. We're taught that stress and struggle and striving is how to get your life to the next level. And that's both personally and professionally, right? You've got to stress and struggle to get to that next level. We hear even, and not to, definitely don't mean to criticize anybody, but you hear things like, you know, grit, you got to have grit. And yes, you do need to have the clarity and confidence and courage But it's not stress and struggle that get you to success. And that is what I discovered. And when we learn that stress and struggle builds walls of resistance, and those walls, not only when you're working against these walls, it wears you out and you become burned out, but those walls actually block solutions and opportunities and possibilities from flowing to you, from coming to you. that you never would have thought of, no matter how many hours you had focused concentration. Solutions you would never think of for your life actually come with ease when we learn to break down those walls of stress and struggle. And that is the discovery that we're going to talk about today.

Resilience. It's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And in times of massive change and disruption, the kind of rapid change that we're all experiencing as leaders, as business owners, as entrepreneurs, we have to learn how to not only increase our own resilience but that of our teams. So right now we have a powerful opportunity for you to find out just how resilient you are. Some years ago, my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilience leader assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes. And it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. So, Janet, thank you. I mean, I think you painted a picture that a lot of us can relate to, what it's like to get up early in the morning and get yourself all put together. I mean, for a guy, it's a little different. For me, I didn't have so much to work on with my hair, at least at a certain point, but still, there's getting yourself physically ready, there's getting into the office usually, I mean, until now, that was a requirement. Going forward, I don't know. I don't think so. Not as much. I don't think we'll ever go back to the way it was, but at least in our pre-COVID, yeah, you've got to be in the office. We need face time. People have to see you, whether you're an executive or you're just getting started. And then, being there for that period of time and for some people that want to achieve it means getting there, being the early bird, getting there before other people get there and stay until after they leave if you want to get ahead. And I would imagine as a woman that you just felt even that much greater pressure if you wanted to succeed. Well, then, not only did you have to be smart, smarter, diligent, and motivated and everything else, but you had to just shine that much brighter for that much longer and there's just tremendous pressure. on top of, you know, what is just ordinarily there. So what did burnout feel like to you? What were the signs of it? Were there symptoms right— you know, the old classic, the writing was on the wall, right? Did you see it right away, or were you like me and just kind of ignored it for a long period of time?

Yeah, just let me mention, so you said a lot of things there in a few minutes, which I really appreciate. Is first of all, just let me mention, I'm not like a feminist at all. Like, I Always just felt and knew that if I dedicated myself and I worked hard and I focused, that that is how to get ahead. And so there was no question. I worked in very male-dominated organizations, by the way, and just— that's fine. I was totally fine with the fact that I knew that the industries were male-dominated, but that didn't concern me. I just was focused. I was going to do the best I could. And actually, I understand that at one point I started a family and became pregnant with my son, and I decided to stay home with my son. So there are differences between being a man and a woman in the world, and people that fight against that, again, that's resistance. You're just fighting against. You just got to give it your best. But also let me mention that I'm not saying you don't do effort, that you don't strive forward. The difference is if you strive forward with stress and struggle versus striving forward with excitement and possibilities, right? It's how you feel as you strive forward and take action to achieve success. I'm not against taking action. Taking action is very, very important, but you get a different result if you take action from stress and struggle versus take action from the hope of possibilities, right? So you notice how those 2 things feel differently. So let me tell you all about burnout and what it felt like. Adam, what happened to me was all of the stress and pressure from this very high-pressure job I had at Oracle Corporation, which was the second of the Fortune 500 companies that I worked at, brought me down. I literally developed an autoimmune disease. My immune system had become so inflamed because of all the stress and pressure and how I was treating my body Because I thought staying up late and getting up early and going, going, going was the secret to success. And what I understand now is that's the opposite. And the world's most accomplished people understand that. And we researched them for 20 years. So what I experienced was an autoimmune disease that was literally destroying the organs inside my body. And I landed in the hospital completely debilitated by this illness that I couldn't understand and couldn't control. I mean, prior to this, I was a young, athletic, aggressive career woman. I even told you I won first place in Junior Olympics. But I'm landing in the hospital. I couldn't eat. It was too painful. I hadn't eaten much for about 2 months before I landed in the hospital. My liver was failing and I couldn't walk. I mean, I was completely debilitated. So that's what the path to success offered me. And the doctors came to me and said, Janet, We understand why you can't walk because your liver's failing because you're allergic to the medications we're giving you for this autoimmune disease. So we have 2 options. One, we could try this other medication, but it has a 15% chance of causing cancer, or we can start removing your organs. Adam, I didn't know anything about health and wellness, natural healing, nothing. I was an MBA corporate executive. And something came over me, something went into my head that said, nope, I'm not doing either of those. And I got myself out of the hospital. I'll never forget that day. I couldn't even walk up and down the steps of my own home. And I started on my journey of learning how to heal my body naturally. I felt I had no choice, but it was a brilliant choice that I did take, not knowing back then, because— Almost dying in the hospital and not getting out of there alive led me down a path of incredible discovery where I learned how to heal my body naturally. And from that, I left the corporate world and became passionate about helping others. And I went to Columbia University to study holistic health and wellness. So if it wasn't for almost dying in the hospital, I would have never made that shift in my life and not only healed my body, but helped so many other people. not only prevent but reverse very serious health challenges, even life-threatening health challenges. So this is the beginning of Stressless Success. When we look at our challenges and instead of saying, oh no, this is horrible, this is dreadful, what am I going to do? You pause, you accept it, and you say, okay, wait a minute. I know my challenges always teach me something. They make me stronger and wiser. So this challenge that I'm facing, I wonder what good may come of it. I wonder what I may learn from this that will benefit me. I'm literally grateful for almost dying in the hospital because now I'm healthier than I ever could have been. I'm in my mid-50s, no illness whatsoever, no medication whatsoever, and it's been 2 decades. And the doctors 2 decades told me it was impossible. I mean, it's not their fault. They just didn't know what to do for me. So I'm grateful for that. And then I was working—

In some respects, it probably saved your life because had your body not shut down, had your body not put up a little flag, you know, white flag or otherwise, or smoke signals, you just would have kept going down the path because of course you get rewarded on some level, whether it's with money or it's with promotions or other things that lead you to think that that stress, that struggle is what's the prerequisite to the success that everybody, you know, everybody wants.

Yes, for sure. I achieved success through stress and struggle, but look what I did. I almost died in the process. And what I understand now is I would have achieved even greater success than I had achieved if I would understand what I understand now today. And that's what's incredible. And it came as a result of more challenges in my life, if you don't mind me just mentioning.

No, no, let's go back to that for a second because I don't typically sort of revisit those moments. But let's just say for argument's sake that you are back working as an executive for a Fortune 500 company now, but you are equipped with what you know. You've got your wisdom of the present moment. What would you be doing differently?

Loving every day. Every day, the challenges of it are almost exciting, like rolling up your sleeve and knowing that you have the capability to accomplish anything. So going through my day with excitement and desire for creating success, as opposed to that fear and nervousness of that, you know, waking up every day and dreading the day because you knew it was going to be stressful, that is what's different. Now, of course, I've learned that, and the world's most accomplished people know this, by the way, Adam, is that wellness is the foundation for success. We think that staying up late and getting up early and grabbing the cup of coffee and Danish while you rush to work is leading to success when what we have discovered is those people know that getting a lot of rest, drinking fresh water, eating real food, moving your body, breathing fresh air, right? Getting in Mother Nature, that's the foundation of success. How can you have the clarity and energy of confidence and courage And desire and passion for what you want to create in the world if you're exhausted and hyped up on sugar and caffeine and then just like feeling awful. So that is what I understand now, but it's much more than that, and we're going to talk about that.

So put yourself in the shoes of someone who looks like you, meaning looked like you then, they look like you now. So this is a person who's fulfilling the demands of this person's bosses. Everybody has bosses unless you're the CEO, in which case you still have bosses because you have your stakeholders, your owners, you know, and the list goes on, right? So you've got your bosses who expect things of you and these sort of never-ending avalanche of work, etc., etc. How do you change the way you approach that? So far what I got was your mindset is different. That what you're looking for is enthusiasm, passion for what you do, but you also said that wellness is sort of the unsung hero in the whole system because without the wellness, we all know the wheels fall off the bus. The wheels fell off your bus, same thing with me. But a person who's in your shoes back then, whatever age that might be, they're going, yeah, but what I'm doing is working. I may not like it. It may not feel good. I may, yeah, not feel like I used to feel. But I'm getting ahead and now you're telling me I got to include all that other stuff along with all the stuff I already got to do. Tell me how to juggle all that.

Adam, and it's not only mindset and this was my big discovery. So yes, I achieved success by burning myself out, right? I stayed up late, got up early, did the whole thing, worked like crazy, took in all the stress and pressure. And I achieved success. But I have no idea, and people have no idea, the level of success that can happen with ease is far greater. And it comes from a place of greater, more positive energy. It's not mindset. So let me explain that, because that shocks people. People hear, well, it's all about positive thinking, and you have to have positive mindset, and you've got to control your mindset, right? You hear about this all the time. What I discovered is that's not correct. Yes, mindset is key when things are going well. And I'm answering your question, so bear with me. Right? When things are going well and you're having a great day, right? It's like you want that positive momentum to keep going. But think about it. You probably got a good night's sleep the night before. You woke up feeling great. That's building the foundation for your day. And then more good things start to happen and you're like in this good mood, right? You know those days, like everything seems to just go well. Well, it's not an accident. You're creating it. And yes, positive mindset, you want to feed that. You want to keep that momentum going because that's creating a positive energy that you're giving off. But what I discovered Is yes, you must be rested and drink your fresh water and take care of it, the whole wellness thing, because you know how when you're exhausted everything seems difficult, right? Even the most simplest things like going to fill up your car with gas is like, oh, I have to go do this, right? Because you're just so exhausted, you're so depleted. So you said it, I said it, wellness is the foundation. You must take good care of yourself, but Let's take it further. Say you're taking good care of yourself and you're feeling good and you're having a decent day, but then something challenging happens. Something happens you're upset about, you're fearful about, you're emotional about, right? You're frustrated over, you're angry over. And a lot of that has been going on in the world these days, right? We all have reasons.

For sure.

Well, you hear, you just need a positive mindset. You try to think a positive thought about something you're upset about, you actually make the situation worse. And nobody out there is telling you that. So let me explain how I discovered this and it will make perfect sense. And then we'll talk about what to do. I was working with clients. I do a lot of speaking. I'm an author, one-on-one coaching, success coaching, high-performance consultant, and I work a lot with business professionals and executives. And I was working with a client of mine. She was a CEO. She's a CEO of a $250 million company. And she said, Jan, I have a lot of stress with running my business, but things are going well. But the thing I'm very scared about is that I have this chronic pain in my abdomen, and I'm so afraid that all the stress and pressure from my job, I've created a chronic disease or chronic illness, and I'm really scared. She said, but don't worry, Janet, I understand the mind and body connection. And I know all about positive thinking. She said, I took all the seminars, read all the books, took all the webinars, and they all say we need positive mindset. So I go to bed at night, Janet, and I'm saying to myself these positive affirmations. And I said to her, I said, Monica, what are you saying to yourself? Well, I go to bed at night and I say to myself, I'm healthy. I'm healthy. I'm healthy! That's when I realized, Adam, she was forcing a positive thought about something she was fearful about, and all she was doing was putting more fear out there in the world from her energy. It was the energy of fear that I could feel from her because she was trying to force a positive thought. Are you following me?

I am.

Okay. So that's when I realized, I'm like, Oh, she's making the situation worse because she's forcing a thought. She thinks she's forcing a positive thought about something. So it's not your mindset. It's the energy that you give off. So look at this. What you give out is what you get back. Think about you walk into a meeting and you just had a really bad morning and you got stuck in traffic and you're really miserable and you're frustrated and you're angry and you walk into a meeting. What do you think people are going to think about you? Even if you don't say anything, they're going to be like, whoo, get away from me, right? You can sense it from someone. Then what kind of result are you going to get from that meeting? Correct? You can get a bad result. But you compare that to you wake up and you're feeling great and you're having that great morning and you walk into a meeting, even if it's a meeting that you know is going to be challenging, like with a client that wants to cancel the contract or something. If you come in with this positive energy, it's an energy that you give off, this like vibration that comes from you, then people are like, whoa, who is this person? I really want to hear what they have to say. I really look up to them. I feel good around them. What you give out is what you get back, but not from a mindset, but from how you feel. And this is the difference. I have an entire section of Stressless Success that is titled Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Energy. So it's not about mindset. It's about this feeling that you give off. And it's been proven in scientific research, by the way. And this is brilliant and fascinating. That quantum mechanics is a theory within quantum physics where scientists have begun to uncover that the focus of your thoughts creates an energy that you're giving off that can affect what is happening around you. Everything is energy, even down within the atom. The atom is the smallest— it's not exactly the smallest. Within an atom is a nucleus, an electron, all of these things that are the smallest particles known to man. Everything that we look at at the subatomic level— this is solid, It's not. At the subatomic level, everything is energy. Everything is fluid. But what's the most incredible thing to know about that is they discovered in scientific research that the focus of our thoughts can affect the outcome of physical world around you. Now, what did I just say? What you give off is what you get back. So, what are you giving off? Like, what kind of an energy are you giving off? Yes, that may come from your thoughts, but again, if you're trying to force a positive thought about something you're fearful about, you're actually giving off more fear.

Wow. The pace of change over the last couple of years has been rapid. And if you're a leader, a business owner, an entrepreneur, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Every day it's something different, something new. But the one thing that I've learned in performing at the height of all of those roles has been that we must be resilient. In fact, it's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And it's the reason why my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to The best way to get your own free Resilient Leader Assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. So what I'm hearing you say is that with that client of yours, your CEO, that even though she was saying, I'm healthy, I'm healthy, I'm healthy, she's really saying, I'm afraid that I'm sick. I'm afraid that I'm sick. Even though those weren't her words, that's the energy that she was conveying through these affirmations that she was saying, you know, I can make myself healthy. And by saying, I can make myself healthy, you're saying in some respects, I'm sick. Right. I'm already sick. There's something that's already wrong with me. So you leave the corporate world as a result of this burnout and you begin on a very different path. That must have created its own challenges, right? Because being an entrepreneur is not an easy thing on the best of days. How have you approached the stress going forward as a result of what you learned? How do you approach the stress? Give us a little look into a day in the life You gave us a day in the life back then. What's a day in the life look like today?

Okay. Let me just mention quickly, not to bore you with all my stories, but after I was working as a holistic health and wellness expert for about 15 years, helping people resolve their health challenges and so forth, I ran into 2 more walls in my life, by the way, Adam. My husband of 26 years walked out on me and our son in an hour's notice, left me not only heartbroken and our family ripped apart, but left me on the brink of financial disaster. because not long before he left, he put liens on all of these investment properties that I developed from the money I made in the corporate world for financial stability for our family to buy a business. So he put liens for a loan to buy a business. And at the time he left, the business was failing. So not only did I feel like I was standing on thin ice, I felt like the roof above my head was a house of cards because he also put a lien on the home where we lived. Literally, Adam, I was facing not only heartbreak and depression, but bankruptcy. And I did not know how it was going to support a home for me and my son. I mean, you want to talk about unbelievable fear and anxiety, right? That is when I went out around the world, literally and figuratively, and studied with world masters on success, achievement, high performance, abundance, positivity, right? All of those things that we all hear about and read about. That's where I came across Brian Tracy and Jack Canfield, all these people that I ended up working with. Well, each one was like a delicious morsel that I would taste and savor, and it would help me somewhat. You know that, right? When you take a seminar on something, it's like, okay, that helped me. But I kept finding myself stuck and frustrated. And it wasn't until I discovered this that everything started to change for me. So now, to answer your question, what is my life now like? And I mentioned I'm a student of my own teaching. I'm still practicing what I discovered. because I'm always trying to learn how to be better at it. But here's what my day looks like now. First of all, it starts with the end in mind. I end my day doing something positive. I don't put my face in the news at the end of the day. I might check on the news throughout the day. I do something that feels good, whether it's read a good book or listen to good music. I'm really big on uplifting music and things like that. prayer, meditation, whatever that is. And I imagine that I'm going to get a good night's sleep and tomorrow's going to be a beautiful day. Then I wake up in the morning. And this is what we found from the world's most accomplished people. They do not just allow their thoughts to just happen. When you wake up in the morning, you know, what's a common human do? Like, oh no, I got to get out of bed. I got to feed the dog. I got to take care of the kids. I got to pay the bills, I gotta clean the house, I gotta get to work, I gotta deal with— right? Our morning thoughts are all about worry, and we start our day feeling uncomfortable. What the world's most accomplished people do, we found, is they reach for— deliberately reach for thoughts that feel better. And notice that. That's the difference between mindset and energy, is how does the thought make you feel? So I started playing around with this, Adam. I started saying like, okay, today's going to be a good day. I'm going to meet some interesting people. I'm looking forward, right, to what great things might happen. And I noticed my days were getting better and better. Do you know what I say now when I wake up in the morning?

What do you say when you wake up in the morning?

I say, today is going to be the best day of my life. And then I feel what it feels like To have one of the best days of your life. And guess what today is?

One of the best days of your life.

Of course! Look where I am. I'm here, right, on Zoom having this interview with you just to share these ideas with people around the world. Like, what else would I want to be doing right now? This is like brilliant. Okay, so this is amazing. But what does that feel like? So I get the feeling Before I ever get out of bed of what does it feel like to have a great day, one of the best days of my life, this shifts my energy. No matter what thoughts might be flying around in my head. I mean, let me ask you, have you ever been able to control all your thoughts?

I've never been able to.

No, nobody can. So give it up. Everybody's out there, you need mind control. Well, good luck. And no wonder it's not working because you can't do it. We're humans. Right? You're going to have a million thoughts flying around, but guess what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. They're going to be there. Let them go. You don't struggle against them. You don't fight against negative thoughts, which there's a chapter in my book that's titled Negative Thoughts Are a Positive Thing, and we'll talk about that if we have time. But anyway, you don't struggle against them. You create positive feelings, right? Because that creates an energy regardless of what's going on up here. You don't try to control this. You build an energy that feels good. And then I start my day. I do things like I drink fresh water, I eat real foods, I move my body, I breathe fresh air, drink my water, get hydrated. I build my foundation. What do I do? I put my earbuds in. I dance around my kitchen while I'm making myself breakfast, listening to an uplifting song because I want to build the foundation for a positive feeling day. And from that, incredible things happen. They happen without me even trying. I get phone calls and text messages and emails of people wanting me to do things that I never would have thought of, my head would have never created. It's creation from energy. Now, am I perfect at this? No. I have my days, Adam, that it's just like, wow, my energy is down in the dumps. What am I going to do? So here's what I want you to realize, and this is exactly what I told Monica, the CEO client of mine. I said, okay, Monica, wait a minute. Imagine you're on the low rung of a ladder. Right now you're feeling fear. She was feeling fear about her health challenge, right? But anybody that's facing a challenge right now, it's like, okay, I'm feeling frustration, anger, guilt, shame, whatever, right? You're on the low rung of a ladder. If you try to leap to a top rung of a ladder in one thought, Like, oh, I'm gonna have a positive thought. What happens if you try to leap from the low rung of a ladder to the top rung of a ladder? You're going to fall off the ladder and break your leg or worse, right? So instead, we're going to take it one rung at a time. For example, I said to Monica that day, I said, okay, Monica, wait a minute. You're feeling fear. So let's look at it this way. You're a bright woman, right? Yes, I am. And your body is telling you that something's out of balance. Yes, it is. So this pain that your body is experiencing is actually a good thing because it's leading you to know that you've got to just find solutions. Yes, it is. Doesn't that feel better? It's like I'm climbing the ladder one rung at a time with thoughts that feel better because she believed them. Right? Of course she's a bright woman. She's running a $250 million company successfully. Of course this pain in her body is just telling her that something is out of balance. And she knows she's a bright woman. She's going to start uncovering solutions to get her body back in balance. So the pain is a good thing. Like, that feels so much better than trying to leap. Okay, so anybody that's having a challenge, that's what I want you to do. I want you to start climbing the ladder. With small thoughts that you can think that, okay, what is this challenge teaching me? What is it showing me? You grab ahold of each rung of the ladder with solid footing because it feels good. Now, as soon as you get to that rung that's a little bit too far and you start to feel uncomfortable, you know then that you're having a thought that feels uncomfortable, that's negative. So I want you to get off the ladder. Walk away from the topic that is upsetting you. Just walk away from it. Do anything and everything that helps you to feel good. Things like prayer, meditation, dance and sing to a song you love, get outside in Mother Nature, walk your dog, pet your cat, play with a child, call somebody you love, right? Do anything that you love to do. that makes you feel better and gets your mind off the thing you're upset about for a while. And so guess what's happening? You're shifting your energy. You're breaking down the walls of resistance, of stress and struggle. And when you do that, you get more blood flow to your brain. You have better, clear thinking. You feel slightly better. Then you can go back to the ladder and climb further.

Beautiful. All right. I so appreciate the way you walked us through that, Janet. And, you know, everything in the universe is made up of energy. So again, sometimes people think this is a little bit on the woo-woo side, but it's really on the physics side. It's physics.

Proven.

It's science. And as you said, it's quantum physics, not just physics. So how it is that you create an energy has everything to do with what will be attracted to you or what will be repelled from you, I would say. One of the things that we were talking about right before we turned on the microphone was this statement that's on my shirt, got your back. I just want to go back to that for a second because you had a great answer for me when you saw it. You said, oh, you know, I love that statement. And then just go ahead and share what you were saying, you know, before we began about your people that are working with it, you know.

Absolutely.

Yeah,

thank you. So that was interesting because the first thing I said when we got on the video here. I said, Adam, it's so nice to meet you. I love your shirt. That shirt makes me feel so good when I read it. And I have a story because—

And it says, got your back. For people that are not watching this on YouTube but listening, it says, got your back. That's what it says.

Got your back. But it's a black t-shirt with white letters, got your back. So it's clear, it's concise, it's vibrant. When you look at it, you can't mistake what it says, right? So you all know I'm a farmer and I own a farm. And I thought that was a romantic thing. I go, I had this romantic idea to own an organic farm and grow organic produce and teach people about getting back to Mother Nature. It's a very romantic idea, but it's a ton of work and a lot of work. And at any given day, something can go wrong. So it is a very interesting, challenging endeavor. As I mentioned before the call, is it's one of the richest experiences of my life. And there's an entire chapter of Stressless Success titled A Truly Rich Life, where I talk all about my farm. But what's amazing is no matter what challenge we're experiencing that day, and because of my energy, I've attracted the most amazing people that work for me that I could not have found if I sent out a million requests. They literally came to me with ease. And this one gentleman that works for me, is the most positive, most kind, hardworking, just fabulous gentleman. And he's actually the husband of a woman that works for me also. And no matter what's happening, he always says to me, I got your back, Janet, I got your back, Janet, I got your back. And first of all, being a single woman and owning a farm is not like the simplest thing in the world. It took a lot of courage. And every day, Takes courage from me. And to have someone on my team that that's what he says to me, no matter what we're facing, no matter what, it is just incredible. And it makes me feel so good. And the more that good feeling keeps being cultivated, not to use a farm term, but sorry, being cultivated within me.

Yeah.

It's just, it continues to allow me as the owner to feel good, to feel supported. And guess what I give back to my employees then? Guess what I give back to my clients? Guess what I give back to Mother Earth that is part of my farm? I give that good energy and amazing things happen. Now, the whole farm, by the way, is a story of this energy teaching. We were growing organic produce early on when I first bought the farm in 2012, and we were losing money. growing the produce. And that's all we were doing. We were trying to grow organic produce. And it costs a lot in labor and effort to grow produce, more than you can make selling it. I mean, really, you can only charge so much for an organic heirloom tomato, right? But the labor and the effort that it took was so incredibly high. And I have a new respect for farmers and definitely a new respect for the organic farmer. I mean, you can't just spray things to kill the weeds and the pests and the— right? You're on your hands and knees, especially on a small farm, really trying to work on this. So we were losing money every year, Adam, losing money, losing money. And I didn't know what I was going to do. But it was during this time after my husband had left and so forth that I was learning these concepts of positive thinking. But that's when I discovered it's not positive thinking. It's something deeper than that. And I started working on my energy and I started just working on me. Yeah. Instead of stressing and struggling at the farm, it was me. I started shifting me. Unbelievable things started to happen without me ever thinking of it. I get interviewed a lot on the radio and podcasts and so forth. And I was interviewed on the radio one day locally by a medical doctor. And we were talking about— I happened to mention I have a farm. Well, this young man calls me on the phone. And he said, Ms. McKee, I heard you have a farm. I heard you on the radio interview this morning. I would like to come out and see your farm. And I said, sure, come on out. Meanwhile, we're losing all kinds of money. But I'm working on myself and working on myself, trying to expand and elevate my energy. He comes out to the farm with his fiancée and he said, we love your farm. Can we get married there? And I was like, what? You want to get married on my farm? I mean, there was like, the barn was filled with hay and a mess. And I'm like, what? And everybody said, well, of course, people get married in barns these days. I didn't know that. I wasn't in the wedding business. I was just going through a divorce, right? It's like I didn't know anything about weddings and barns. And this young couple got married at my farm. It was hugely successful. It was so filled with joy and love. I never would have thought of it with any amount of hours of thinking and strategizing. I didn't even know. It came to me with ease. And guess what? Word of mouth got out. And now Everybody in town is getting married at my farm, and it's this glorious thing. And let me tell you what else happened from that. So not only is it now an abundant business that's bringing in incredible amounts of financial stability and abundance of all kinds, and now I'm able to hire more people and create more jobs. It's amazing. Even during the pandemic, right? Like I'm creating jobs for people. It's like the most incredible thing, which is like this gentleman that always tells me he got my. But then what happened was this chef found out about my farm. He's from France. He's worked all over the world, and he just was burned out from the whole restaurant business and working these incredibly ungodly hours and never having time with his 2-year-old son and his wife. That he approached me, and we spent many times talking and interviewing, and here he joined my farm. We now have an on-site chef who's from France. Like that, how does that happen? That happens because I'm shifting me. As I shift me, these things just come to me. They happen for me. Same with meeting Brian Tracy and contributing to that chapter in his book. I didn't pursue that. They pursued me. Getting invited to Hollywood by Jack Canfield to be interviewed on Hollywood Live, that never used to happen to Janet McKee. It wasn't something I pursued. They found me. And that's what happens, Adam. It's no longer stress and struggle and walls of resistance. It's about working on me, opening and expanding and elevating my energy. I'm not perfect at it. I do the best I can, but even slightly shifting my energy, slightly having hope and acceptance and that good feeling, success flows to you with ease. And that is the idea of stressless success.

I really hope you're enjoying this episode of the Change Proof podcast. If you've not yet gone out and gotten your own copy of Change Proof, it's not too late. You can get your copy right now by going to changeproof.com and not only getting the book and all the bonuses there, but getting access to our proprietary Resilience Assessment Tool. It'll just take you 3 minutes to do, and it's something that will really help you to utilize the book even more effectively to create practices and rituals and habits that will increase your mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual resilience for the long term. Again, go to changeproof.com to get your copy today. You know what, Janet? The one question I always ask my guests at the end has to do with their rituals to start the day, but you've already answered that question. So I feel like we've covered that ground. And instead, I'm going to share my waking ritual because I don't know that you know it. I don't know that you've heard it before. And you're going to— you're already smiling, so I don't know how you could smile any bigger, but check this out. Okay. So I gave a TED Talk about 2 years ago. To share something that was really very much on my heart. And, you know, the TED arena, the stage, and that whole scene is really quite daunting. I was a public speaker for many years, probably 10 years before that, and had spoken all over the world, the big huge stages with lots and lots of people and all that kind of thing. But the TED thing was really, really challenging. And one of the most challenging pieces of it was just what did I want to say? What was the message? And to have one single thing that you go so, so deep on in a short amount of time. So you got to be— go really deep into something in a short amount of time. And I thought, well, I have this waking ritual that when I began to turn my life around, I used to wake up in the morning and I would put my feet on the floor. And it was very much like you described earlier. I would have this feeling of anxiety at the start of the day, this dread, this immediate like to-do list that's Never all too done, and starting the day that way was really just sort of a spiral, and it would start low and it would sometimes even go lower. And that was despite the fact that I had plenty of money, lots of success, a really amazing relationship with my wife, who I'm still married to after 30 years, 4 healthy kids. I had a lot to be grateful for, and yet I put my feet on the floor and I would feel dread at the beginning of the day. And then I did something different. I started to shift that, not realizing it was a shift at the time, just did something new. I would put my feet on the floor and I would think something different. And then I would not just think something different because my thoughts, like yours, go from one thing to the next to the next to the next, but I would say something. And it was those words that I would say at the beginning of the day that became not only a mantra or a way to begin the day, but a very significant shift had occurred in my life. It started out very small and then doing it day after day, year after year, all of a sudden, I began to receive what's called the compounding effect. This sort of a hockey stick that where things get exponentially better very, very quickly simply because you stuck to something, something, you know, this incremental progress, 1%, 1%, 1%, nothing dramatic. And so I stood on that TEDx stage and delivered an 18-minute talk about one waking ritual that in the midst of chaos, in the midst of my having an anxiety attack, ending up in the hospital, getting fired from a job that I was so invested in after I had left the law, after I'd written a book called Pivot, you know, that became a big bestseller, and here I was pivoting yet again, all those things happening, and yet this one ritual This one waking ritual was like a buoy that I could hold on to in the midst of any fear, doubt, or worry. 4 simple words. That's it. 4 words, Janet. I love my life.

Wow.

That's it. Those 4 simple words to start the day. And so you've given us your ritual. And what's really remarkable, and I absolutely love this about it, is that it's not just the words. You know, because people will say to me, well, did you love— like, when you started saying that, weren't you still a lawyer? Weren't you still practicing and doing work and things that you didn't have your heart in? I said, absolutely. So were you like really loving your life when you said it? And I said, no, no. At the beginning, I love parts of my life, I love parts of my day, but I really couldn't say it and feel it. And the reason why it became so powerful, and I want to just sort of connect the dots between that and what you said earlier is that I continued to do it day after day after day because I wanted to feel that way. I wanted to feel— Yes. How could you possibly— my feeling at that point, how could I wake up after being given a new day? Meaning, I'm waking up at the exact moment that someone is taking their last breath. I'm waking up when someone put their head on the pillow the night before wanting and hoping, praying to wake up. not being given that gift? How can I start my day and not acknowledge the gift, not be grateful? I mean, if we're thinking at all about what could possibly create success in our lives, don't you think that being grateful for your life, for your very life, your very being, for whatever the universe has in store for you that day, don't you think that would be a part of the recipe? I mean, I've yet to meet anyone that would refute that. And yet, we all habitually sort of take that first step of the day in a very different energy, to use your word. My grandmother used to say, leave the house, leave the house on the right foot. It's the same thing. I love it. Leave with the right energy when you leave because you carry that with you everywhere you go. And so, for me, it became a thing to just start. In that place. Yeah.

There are 2 really important things you were doing. If I can just take a moment to highlight these. First of all, you were replacing, you were saying, I love my life. Is that what you said? I love my life.

Yes. Okay.

So instead of allowing yourself to think all that fear and dread, you were just crowning it out. So instead of fighting against negative thoughts, if you fight against something, you give it power. So instead of fighting against the dread, You just started to replace it. You crowded it out. I love my life. I love my life. But here's the second thing you did, and this is really important for everybody to understand, is you call it a ritual. We call it practice. You were consistently practicing, just like an athlete, right? They know their sport. They practice every day. Musician, they know their musical instrument, but they practice every day, right? You must practice this every day and you never stop practicing. And that's what you mean by ritual. So every day you kept practicing, well, what would it be like to think that I love my life? What would it be like to love my life? Well, then little by little it's like, well, what does it feel like to love my life? You just kept practicing and crowding out and crowding out. So that is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant, but I'm giving you a little bit of the science behind what you're actually doing.

Thank you, Janet.

Love it.

All right. Well, listen, it's been a lovely conversation. I've enjoyed it. I know our folks will. There's full show notes for everybody that's out there would like to find out more about the work of Janet McKee. You can find information about her books and other things that she's up to in the show notes. Of course, feel free to leave a comment. In fact, we'd love to get your feedback. You can go Right there. If you're consuming this on iTunes, you can go ahead and leave your comment there, leave your feedback. We'd love to have you join us and anybody that you know that would really benefit from hearing this episode, please feel free to share this with somebody that you feel maybe they just need to shift their energy just a little bit, that kind of thing. And of course, yes, we'd love to have you in the community. So, go ahead and subscribe if you haven't already done that and we will, well, see you on the next show. Thank you, Janet. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Adam. Have a wonderful day.

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