A Life Of Service: A Tribute To Berny Dohrmann

Welcome to The Conscious Pivot Podcast with international speaker, business mentor, bestselling author of Pivot, and your host, Adam Markel. The Conscious Pivot shares the stories and wisdom of people who have successfully reinvented some area of their business and personal life. You'll gain powerful insights into how you can fully embrace new opportunities, increase your performance, and master the art and science of innovation and resilience. So please join Adam as he guides you on your conscious pivot.

Welcome back to another episode of the Conscious Pivot Podcast. I'm your host, Adam Markel. And if my voice seems a bit somber, it's because it is. And this particular episode is going to be a tribute to a dear friend of mine that was lost just recently to COVID-19, somebody that I have I've known for a good part of the last decade and had a huge influence on my life and a huge influence on hundreds of thousands of other people because of the person he was and the person that he will always be to many, many of us. I will share some stories of, and in tribute to him, share some of the teachings that are part of his massive legacy. So I don't intend by this to do it any justice, This is probably more just selfish on my part to release what is a great deal of sadness inside of me and honor somebody that I truly love and I miss already, and a way to just add another drop, another drop in this massive sea of difference that he has made in the world. This gentleman actually, I'd like to start this show in an interesting way. And that is to play a message, voicemail message from his cell phone. So when you call up this dear, dear soul and you got his voicemail, you'd listen to something pretty spectacular. And this is the message that was probably in place for about the last year of his life. And there were ones before it that I wish I had, of course. I wish I had saved, but I'm glad that I've got this one. I'm going to play it for you all. So you can get a sense of the kind of energy, the kind of spirit, the kind of outlook and insight that this gentleman had. And then when the voicemail recording is done, we'll leave him a message. I will leave him a message. With your help, we'll join together and send just so much love to him wherever he is in this moment. And I certainly believe in eternity, and I believe that his soul is has passed on and moved on and is, and is still with us and still available to connect to. And we'll send our love out to his, his beautiful wife and his family and all the people, friends and colleagues and people that have studied under him and were mentored by him. And we will just send this massive wave of love collectively. So without further ado, we're going to make a phone call. to this gentleman and get to hear how I used to hear his greeting. And here we go.

You've reached Bernie Dorman, and in Super Change, the new age we live within, well, the stress is so enormous. I'm out coaching other CEOs, so stressed. I want to give you a lift today just for phoning. I want you to phone back whenever you need a lift because I believe in integrity. Spiritual energy. My intention, my prayer for you is you have a waterfall of good luck that's washing over your life, and it's starting right now. I want you to see in this age around the world, and we're so lonely, we're so not connected, we don't have relationship, the most important ship we ever sail on. So this night, I'm blessing you right this very moment. It's going to That's right. It's gonna shift your day, your evening, it's gonna shift your week, and this month and quarter. It's gonna be insight, so you're going to see them whenever you need a lift. And get this message, just when you're scared today, that one day that's really got you down, get that little blessing, because I'm giving it to you, and I believe that it's impossible when it's intentional washing over your heart, washing over you today, and every 13 trillion cells in your body are magically just coming to their optimization So I wash the Holy Spirit in this lighthouse for the miracles that are coming at you from this waterfall that's coming right from heaven, washing over you.

Well, there, there, there it is. I think it, it speaks for itself that anybody that knew and had anything to do with Bernie Dorman remembers just what a, what an Incredibly amazing being he was, filled with light, filled with energy, tireless in so many ways, just an ever-ready bunny of sorts, and a font of wisdom. There are people that you meet in your life that you know instantly they have something, there's something different about him. And clearly from that message, if you've never heard Bernie or been familiar with his work or the company that he co-founded, Was called IBI back in the day, and then he, he rebranded it as CEO Space, one of the most magnificent places for people to come together, for entrepreneurs and business owners to come together and to seek guidance, seek insight, seek inspiration, to seek collaboration, to seek support. Resilience. It's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And in times of massive change and disruption, the kind of rapid change that we're all experiencing as leaders, as business owners, as entrepreneurs, we have to learn how to not only increase our own resilience but that of our teams. So right now we have a powerful opportunity for you to find out just how resilient you are. Some years ago, my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilience leader assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. Uh, CEO Space has been just a mecca for that kind of thing for so many years. And Bernie was at the helm of that company until just a few years ago when he turned over the helm and the responsibilities for day-to-day running and management of the company to his beautiful wife, September, who's been the CEO and running the organization since. But Bernie had wisdom. And when I think about wisdom these days, I think it's the The combination of a couple of things. In many ways, it's like the elements when they combine in chemistry to create something different. The 2 things I think that combine inside of Bernie to create this wisdom is love. Clearly, you can hear that from that voicemail that he was a man that was just oozing love, filled with love, this massive heart. for humanity and for the collective wellness and wellbeing of others. And so this combination of love and radical and remarkable thought, different thinking, and you combine that intelligent thinking, that different thinking, that remarkable thinking, and those ideas with love, and what is produced is something I think we can call wisdom. And Bernie was just brimming in wisdom because he wasn't afraid to not just talk about thinking outside the box, but literally to obliterate anything that resembled a box. I mean, this is a guy that would sit down with you, if you were lucky enough, and he would pour into you. He would just— and that was so much of who he was, was just this Somebody tirelessly in service of other people, tirelessly pouring into other people with ideas, with ideas. He was speaking always about people in their miracles, people and their dreams, and how it is that he wanted people to keep their dreams alive and how he wanted them to believe in the miracles that were their lives. And there's a a line out of scripture that goes something like, and we are all children of the Most High. And I think when I think about Bernie Dorman as a friend, as a teacher, as a mentor to so many people, I think of somebody who was always seeing everyone as children of the Most High. Not that he was the father, even though he was a father. Father and husband, in many ways, a father figure to so many other people. But he was seeing us the way our Father sees us. And that is that we are all divine, that we are, in fact, a miracle, that our lives are miraculous, that our dreams are miraculous. And that was our legacy, to live into that, to live into our divine selfhood, to live into being children of the Most High. And Bernie had something that sometimes people called Bernie size. He would talk to someone and mentor a business owner or somebody that— anybody from a brand new startup company and its founders to people that were running $100+ million enterprises. Bernie was an investment banker. He was an economist. He was a philosopher. He was a writer. He was a prolific speaker and teacher and facilitator. To me personally, he was just a dear friend. He was just somebody that you rarely meet in life, or at least I'll say in my life, it's been rare to meet someone that you can say is truly— is a true friend, is a loyal friend, is someone that was a true ally. This man was an ally to me. At times in my life when I had people abandon or jump ship, or where I was thrown from the ship in business, this man was there for me, was not just loyal, but was an ally to the end of the earth. He and I knew that about each other, that we could count on each other, that we truly loved each other, that we were true friends, and that it wasn't just lip service. It wasn't just convenience. It wasn't just some passing acquaintance that you just didn't know where you stood. I always knew where I stood with Bernie because he wasn't shy about telling me. I'd have sometimes these epic conversations with him that would go on for hours, and I mean hours. He liked to talk. He loved to talk. For some period of time, I would respectfully listen and I wouldn't interrupt him. Because the things he was saying were so interesting. They were so remarkable. And they were just laced with insight that I could use. I do remember 2 things in particular that I'll quickly share. One of them was on the evening of my having been thrown out of a company that I was a part of creating and not being in alignment with my then partners, And being asked to step down or being removed, to be perfectly accurate about it, from my position in running that organization, I remember coming home from Los Angeles. It was late in the evening and I was devastated. It was like getting kicked in the gut, but like no kick I had experienced before. And I called my buddy Bernie on the way home. I remember the phone ringing and ringing and ringing, and finally him picking up. I was in Southern California and he happened to be in Northern California. He wasn't living in Northern California. He was living elsewhere, but he was there on a business trip. He was actually going up to see property where he had hoped to someday create a another center for entrepreneurship and for networking. And he was there on a site visit of sorts, and he was in the mountains, and the cell phone service was really, really spotty. And so I started to talk to him and tell him that I'd just been shitcanned and that I was heading home and feeling so distraught and so confused and hadn't even spoken to my wife yet about it. I was just feeling filled with such shame and disbelief. And before I could even say any of that, I barely could get out, hey, hey, Bernie, it's A. And before I even finished saying hello to him, he just said these words to me that I heard, embrace the pivot. Those were the words that I heard. And then the phone went just That was it. The line disconnected and I tried to call him back and it went straight to voicemail. And that's all I heard was, embrace the pivot. And this was in 2016, in late 2016. And it was a really challenging time for me. And at the same time, those words buoyed me. Those words were something that I could hold onto. Ultimately, I started to think about what those words meant and to think about the book that I had written that had been published earlier that same year with the title Pivot. Now, this was a spin on that concept of what it means to have something, sort of the rug get pulled out from under you. So many people can identify, I think, with this right now, given what's happened With COVID to have things just suddenly change, shockingly change, and to feel as though those changes are dramatically for the worse or dramatically threatening to our wellbeing. And so I was experiencing that. And I know even now, there are moments when I can feel that, especially in light of the great prolific change that's happening all around us and people suffering and to lose a friend, my dear friend Bernie, and others to this pandemic, I go back to that moment in time when Bernie said, embrace the pivot. And I started to think about it. I started to write about it. I started to walk. And here it is, it's nearly 4 years later. And there's going to be another book coming out on that topic of pivoting. And it's In many ways, the genesis of that, the seed of that next book, and what's happened in my life over these 4 years is related directly to that statement that Bernie said. To be able to embrace something, to embrace change, to embrace the unknown, to embrace that which feels threatening or that is fearful or fear-producing is very counterintuitive and definitely something That is not for the faint of heart, and it's not the kind of thing that we're taught to do or even do easily when we're given a reason to do it. And so embodying this principle has been a part of my journey personally over the last 4 years. And it started with those words from my dear, dear friend, Bernie Dorman. Wow. The pace of change over the last couple of years has been rapid. And if you're a leader, a business owner, an entrepreneur, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Every day it's something different and something new. But the one thing that I've learned in performing at the height of all of those roles has been that we must be resilient. In fact, it's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And it's the reason why my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilient leader The first step to take to take this assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. I spoke to him pretty regularly, not enough. In the last 3 weeks of his life, we mostly spent time texting. I spoke to him about 3 weeks before he passed. In that conversation, as Bernie was wont to do, he started to go on to some rant and some tangent, and it was brilliant, but I just wasn't I didn't have the time to have him just go on and that kind of thing. I also wanted to get to a certain point with him. I had an agenda. I had something I wanted to chat with him about. I remember he was talking and I just stopped him. I remember being at the beach and I said to him, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, stop. Just stop for a second. He did. He stopped on a dime. And I said, can we just breathe together? Can we just take a couple of breaths together? And in that moment, that's what we did. We just breathed together. And I said, isn't that enough? And he said, yes. And I said, I love you. And he said, I love you too, in a way that, yeah, that I can't do it justice. It just, it came from such a place in his soul. That I knew it was true. I know when I say those words, I believe them to be true. I don't say them lightly. But you don't always know when you hear them from someone else. You don't always know for sure whether they're true. Or maybe that's just how I feel about it. Maybe you feel differently. But I knew when I heard him say, I love you too, that he had gotten the message, that I had stopped him dead in his track, this train that was just Chugging down the track. I stopped him and I asked him to breathe with me. Then I shared my heart with him and he shared his back. That was the last conversation I had with him. We didn't end the conversation in that moment. We probably spoke for another half hour, just giggling about things, laughing, and also getting quite animated and even pretty vocal. pretty loud about some of the shit that's going on in our world right now and some of the things that were bothering both of us and the areas that we feel we can make a difference. And more than that, the areas that need to have some change. But that was the last conversation we had. And after that, it was just by text. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that in the day before he passed and the text messages that We shared back and forth that I wish now. I don't live with many regrets, and I wouldn't even call this a regret. I just sort of wish I had had that moment to go, to just be so present to what was happening and to have just called him, just made sure that I had that conversation. And yet I know, as I'm saying this out loud, I know that the conversation that I did have with him last where I said what I said and That was all I would have to say again, and he knew it. He knew how I felt. And I think if there's anything that I want to do in this moment just to honor the legacy of a loving and kind and generous and wise man that he was, would be to encourage you as you're listening to this, that if there is someone, in fact, in your life that you feel great respect for, and love for and admiration and some of the things that we feel about people that are so beautiful that you take the time to make that phone call. I'm not saying a text message isn't a way to express because it is, and I think that's just fine. But I'll say this, the sound of someone's voice, the ability to hear how they receive what you're offering and to be willing to also receive what they are gifting to you is very special. It's something that's better done live. It's better than something that's done in this other medium that we are so familiar with using right now. That's something I think that we can all take into the future with ourselves, that we make the time. Bernie had a specific vision. He would Bernie-size things. He had B-vision. I think that that's a part of his legacy is that he was able to see. He wasn't just a person who was seeking. He was a person who was seeing. I think that's why he was a mentor to so many, that he was able to see very clearly for others. That was a gift. I know it's a lot easier for many of us to see for other people than it is to even see for ourselves. In honor of Bernie Dorman, I wanted to say some words. About the work he's done in the world and to recommend that in your way and in my way and in all of our ways and our abilities that we are looking, that we are seeing, that we are observing and that we are then sharing what we observe and what we see with others. That we help other people to keep their dreams alive. That we help other people to manifest the miracle that is in their lives, the miracle that is their lives. In each moment, in every moment that we are taking a breath, a conscious breath, it is a gift. It is a blessing of the highest magnitude that we are, in fact, all children of the Most High. And if you want to find out more about Bernie's writing, his work, his books, and the company CEO Space that he co-founded and everything, that he has been doing in the world, just please Google him and find out about Superchange, which is the latest book that he wrote. And thank goodness this book was published just months before Bernie's passing, because it is a book about the present, it's a book about the future. I really hope you're enjoying this episode of the Change Proof Podcast. If you've not yet gone out and gotten your own copy of Change Proof, it's not too late. You can get your copy right now by going to changeproof.com and not only getting the book and all the bonuses there, but getting access to our proprietary resilience assessment tool. It'll just take you 3 minutes to do, and it's something that will really help you to utilize the book even more effectively to create practices and rituals and habits that will increase your mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual resilience for the long term. Again, go to changeproof.com to get your copy today. And it is a book written by a man with uncommon wisdom and somebody that I I call a friend, a brother, and someone that I miss dearly. So Bernie, thank you for that voicemail. I've saved it. I've shared it. I'm going to listen to it whenever I want to be uplifted, as you say, when I have a bad hair day, which is funny since I'm bald, but I have bad hair days just the same as you, just the same as everyone. And so to listen to that message, to hear your Your spirit come through that voicemail, to hear how it is that you saw the world will inspire me to see the world through that beautiful lens, through the lens that could only be a lens created by God. And so I will say farewell, my friend, till we meet again. And for all of us, a reminder, as we do in each of these shows, to— To be kind. Wake up again tomorrow. The end of my podcast is always this conversation around what it means to wake up and how in a waking ritual, which is the ritual that I shared in my TED Talk and ritual that I talk about to audiences and to organizations when we're speaking on the topic of resilience, for example, and I talk about how important it is in creating resilience For ourselves that we have rituals to do it. And that the most important ritual to me is that first ritual, that waking ritual, the way we greet the day. And waking is the first component of that. And when we wake up in the morning, we realize that we've been given another day, that we are in fact waking. It is also at that same moment that we can entertain the thought that there are other people who are taking their last breath at that moment. Just like Bernie took his last breath on July 9th, there are people who take their last breath at the same moment that you are consciously waking up in the morning. And in that moment, when you are aware of that, you can feel gratitude, can be grateful in that moment, grateful to be grateful to be alive. And then if you choose to, you can do what I've been doing now for the better part of 11 years, And that is to put your feet on the floor and to create an intention, as Bernie said, to think about something, to want to manifest something divine in your life, and then to say that thing out loud. To me, that intention, that divine intention that I start my day with every day when I wake up, and I'm grateful for that, and I say, I love my life. Those 4 simple words, I love my life. I love my wife. I love life. What are your words? What are the words that you will greet the day with? And will they be words that you state by intention, by design? Or will they be words that are something by default? In many ways, our thoughts that are by default are not always good thoughts and they're not always grateful thoughts. And so my recommendation is that you design that first thought of the day. You design those first words of the day, that that becomes your waking ritual, that you wake up, that you feel grateful, and that you say something out loud that honors what a divine being you truly are, a child of the Most High, as we all are. So to all my brothers and sisters, thank you so much for Listening to this show, I recognize that I am feeling somber and I wanted to share some thoughts from my heart about a dear friend. And I appreciate you holding space for me and for Bernie's wife, September, and for the thousands and thousands of people who've known Bernie and whose lives have been positively made better by who he has been and that you yourself are in some way moved to improve your life as a result. Have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your day, your evening, wherever it is that we are finding you right now. I'll say ciao, and we'll speak soon.

Thanks for listening, everyone. We hope you now have the tools and greater insights to navigate your own pivot. Help us inspire others by sharing this episode and leaving your comments over at adammarkel.com. For more tips, strategies, and support as you consciously pivot into a new business and lifestyle you love, join our Pivot Community on Facebook at pivotfb.com.