Creating A Life And Business You Love Through Self-Care And Success Habits With Tiffany Peterson

Life happens, and not always the way we expect it to. Every single day we face change, stress, and uncertainty. What if you could learn to thrive no matter what life throws your way? Resilience expert Adam Markel and his inspiring guests explore breakthrough strategies to fully embrace change and build the resilience required to become change-proof.

So today you are in You're in for a treat. Always in for a treat, right? But I just absolutely adore this person who you're about to get access to. Her name is Tiffany Peterson. She's a speaker, coach, a very successful podcaster, and she is passionate about helping others live their life with intention while implementing key success habits to create thriving lives and thriving businesses. And she's got a ton of wisdom and insight about business, about sales, about so many things that you're going to be thrilled you made the time to listen to. So check this episode out and enjoy. Resilience. It's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And in times of massive change and disruption, the kind of rapid change that we're all experiencing as leaders, as business owners, as entrepreneurs, we have to learn how to not only increase our own resilience, but that of our teams. So right now, we have a powerful opportunity for you to find out just How resilient you are. Some years ago, my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilience leader assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. All right. So since I already know you, I've just read your bio for everybody, but people might call you Tiffany, but I'm going to call you Tiff. Is that okay? Yes. Because we know each other for a minute or a minute and a half or something. So I want to ask you, because you speak publicly, you've been a facilitator and a presenter and content curator and creator for so long, you hear your introduction often. I know I just sort of cringe when I hear my own introduction these days. I'm like, oh, God, cut that down, shorten that. It's just like, just cut to the chase or whatever. What is not part of your bio, something that you would like for people to know about you?

I think what's not always so present all the time To just the first glance, right? At first meeting someone, like when you rattle all of that off, like, oh, you're a professional speaker and coach and podcaster, and you watch someone's social media. I think what most people may not know at me at first glance is that I have such a tender heart. I'm a little sensitive being, and I don't know if that always comes across because again, much of my own social media, there are times where I very clearly will share a very open, authentic post. is that it's easy at first glance to be like, oh, she's so confident, she's so put together, or he's so confident, so put together, or all your highlight reel, right? Like social. But I think sometimes what we don't see, maybe in myself or let alone in one another, is also like every human is a very tender being, right? I remember I worked for Stephen Covey for years, the great author of the popular book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. And in my corporate days working for his brand, I remember he would remind us regularly and in his material that people, no matter what front they give you, are really tender beings. And I think that's just good awareness for myself. I didn't know what you were going to ask me, and I just went with what was authentic, is that the reminder that even people that seem so confident, so put together, And while that's accurate, it's also not the whole story. Right. And that humans are tender creatures. And I definitely fall into that. So.

Oh, that really resonates with me. I'm sure other people are just going, yeah, we don't often sort of marinate in that, in that aspect of ourselves that much because that tenderness can be scary in a world that is sharp. And hard and cold and difficult in some ways. So I think early on in life, at least again, my experience having been kind of a small kid for many years through elementary school and things, got bullied, wasn't chosen first, sometimes last in the games and stuff in the schoolyard or whatever. And I was like a tender kid. My parents told me that. I remember that about myself. I was just, was quiet. Who would have thunk it, right? But that tenderness wasn't met well with— in the world I was in.

Mm-hmm.

And I grew up in Queens, New York, you know, in this suburb of the city. But I think it's the same everywhere, you know, that sometimes we learn early in our lives that tenderness is something that other people might manipulate or use to their advantage or use to hurt us. So we develop, you know, a bit more of a tough skin. And now you've been in— you say you've worked for Covey Company. And I know you worked— spent some time with Jack Canfield's company, and you've been On your own for about 12 years successfully and all that. So you've developed your own tough skin, I'm sure. I'd love to get a sense of, is there a way that you harmonize between those 2 things? I don't want to say balance because I don't believe personally in the way balance is used often. Like, you know, it's in like equal amounts. Like, I wouldn't season my food with the same amount of salt as the same amount of pepper. So, you know, when you think about how to balance work and life or how tender we are with when we're stronger or whatever the, you know, that other side of tenderness might be. It's more harmony. So I'm curious how you've managed that.

Well, it's been evolving, right, for years. Is that— and there was when I worked in corporate, I mean, I definitely had a lot of times more what I'd call masculine energy. And I think we all have masculine and feminine energy, and they're both very incredible in and of themselves and then combined. But I mean, there's times I'm a fierce woman. I mean, I know how to make things happen and like boom, take control of a room and make, you know, like And that is valuable in certain times too. But I think what's helped me with the tenderness is a lot of a deepening of my own self-care. Now, I know self-care's a big buzzword and it's trendy and it's out there on lots of memes and quotes. And I'm a big proponent of that kind of work, self-care, self-love. But really, you know, it's like choosing to show up for myself in deeper ways and giving myself the love, the need, the validation that I am seeking often from the world. If I give it to myself, Then my tenderness is rooted, right? Because when my tenderness is maybe not rooted, that's where you're a lot more like you're saying, fragile or vulnerable. Tenderness can also be quite powerful, right? It's like that sweet flower or that invitation where you're like, you're dropping into some of that. But showing up solid for myself, not perfectly, but consistently. And I have a question that I really, really love that I model often for coaching clients, or I've shared online as well. And the question is simply this. What do you need, sweetheart? And it's very tender, like meeting your cute little grandbaby before we clicked live and seeing that little precious soul. It's like in a few years when your grandbaby's 4 and 5 years old and has gone maybe too long without a nap or wakes up from sleep in a bad dream or something, and that 4 or 5-year-old's being a little fussy, we pull them on our lap and say, what do you need, sweetheart? And I find that for all of us, no matter our upbringing, like you in Brooklyn, me in Salt Lake City, Utah, right, and wherever people listening all around the world. All of us had great things growing up, and we probably all had some tough things growing up. Some people had some really tough things growing up. But no matter our childhood or our parents, even if you had phenomenal parents, grandparents, and a very thriving, solid network, or if you didn't have any of that, we all get to learn how to, quote, reparent ourselves, right? As adults, we get to learn how to be better at, let me show up and meet my own needs. But we come into the world so dependent on other people taking care of us, which is so great part of being a tribe and family and family traditions. Yet at some level, it's also— it's like choosing to show up for ourselves. What do you need, sweetheart? Right? And so for me, that tenderness has really helped me come to a place where it's like I also can allow myself the space where I can be more intentional of how I show up for myself. That helps me. Where I look at that tenderness now is I feel so much more integrated within my feminine and masculine energy, but also like what you were saying, balance. It's just more that it's like I'm a powerful creator and I'm a tender soul. Right? And I'm just the experience of that. It's like giving myself permission for both has made a huge difference.

That's such an important thing right now because there is Some level of, I think, confusion even in how we show up, that often we're sort of pretending in some ways and using an approach to solving problems or in leading other people that isn't necessarily congruent, not really sort of who we are. Because if we were to show up in that way, maybe people wouldn't take us seriously or wouldn't listen. I think this is more prevalent with women that I've interviewed and even in my own home with my wife and 3 daughters, that there is that sort of feeling often that you've got to be embracing more of your masculine side or masculine energy in order to get things done. But I think it's— you think about the harmony of it, that the symbol for that is the yin and yang symbol. It's not a symbol for balance, it's a symbol for harmony. So it's a way— how do you integrate, to use your word? Do you— how do you mix those 2 things? Again, how do you mix the ingredients together when you're making, cooking something, or even just mixing, you know, your hot and cold water to get it to the right temperature? Mm-hmm. I think that's what we're talking about, is finding out for yourself the right mix of those things. And when you said, you know, about how you take care of yourself, advice that I've given to people, both men and women, especially go-getters— like, I work a lot in the corporate world, people that are on career paths and people that are running companies. And, you know, it's like the KPIs are, are do or die, the numbers are do or die, right? From quarter to quarter and all that kind of thing. It's like I say to them, be gentle with

Yeah.

And it's not easy for people to be gentle with themselves.

Right. For us, we have to learn it because I know I did. That's what I'm saying. It's been evolving and progressing where there's capacity of, like, taking action, right? Which is masculine in nature. But for both men and women, it's like, yeah, if you wanna get things done, you've gotta take action. You wanna make things happen and so forth. And I can also come from, to your point, a more harmonious way that it's like, I also, for instance, it's like I show up first for myself. The years I worked for Covey in Covey Leadership, We would have these leads come into the sales floor, and those leads were generated. One lead source came off of an online quiz people would take, and the quiz would give you feedback to your private victory versus your public victory. I worked there for 8 years, and in 8 years, Adam, not once did private victory come in at a higher score than public victory. Not one time.

Yeah.

That means what the feedback is People are much more likely to follow through, honor their commitments when it's to someone outside of them, right? Like my boss, and I've got to show up for my work, and I've got to show up for other people or for my church assignment. I'm going to be great at follow-through for everyone else, but true leadership starts with how well are you leading yourself? And that's private victory, right? Is it how well am I taking care of me versus those KPIs or that sales team or your direct reports or your boss? And Other departments. And while all of those things are valuable, of course, it's not either/or, it's and. And it's how do you raise those scores? So, people would— we'd enroll them if they wanted to move forward into a coaching program and their scores would raise significantly where their self-trust was so much higher.

Hmm.

I'm a big advocate that everything you want to create, manifest, whatever you want to call this, create, manifest, or achieve next is directly tied to your ability to trust yourself. Do I trust myself? Is my word honorable with me? Right? Sometimes it's like, hey, I'm going to work out and read the books or do the things and go to my yoga, do my meditation. I'm going to do the things to invest in me. But often when people's lives get busy or busier, it's the first thing to go is their own self-care habits. Where ironically, the busier you are, the more that's coming to you, the more you're going to need that time to nourish your roots. And so it's just from whether, again, you're corporate, self-employed, For-profit, nonprofit, all the humans I work with around the world, literally, when we come back to some of these core true principles, it's looking at first self-leadership, which is, am I in integrity with me? Do I take good care of myself? Not perfect care, right? Because the perfectionist is a real gnarly animal that you never actually live into or live up to. But it's truly choosing into, like, I'm well nourished. Again, the question I like to also ask myself often is, does this nourish me? Or what nourishes me? Would be a great question for your listeners to look at. do some journaling to body, mind, heart, and spirit. What nourishes me? And that you honor yourself and honor your word. As often we're out looking for everyone else, like, do you see me? Do you validate me? Do you want to promote me? Am I acknowledged by you? Am I worthy by you? Am I good enough? And it's like, how about you start giving that to yourself?

Right. Those are externalities, seeking the love, let's say, the acceptance for something that's outside of ourselves, which is I think it's a road that we all have to come to that understanding that that's not where we're going to find what is true love or true acceptance. We will find it first by understanding that it's important to us. And often something like our own self-worth is established when we're very young and people aren't— they're older folks in more grown-up clothing and shoes and everything else, but yet still Their operating system is still that of that 7-year-old kid trying to get the approval of a mom or a dad or somebody else. So this kind of self-exploration is so important. So I loved when I was on your podcast and we were having similar kind of riff on this kind of stuff. You know, from what you said earlier, it's a bit of taking action and then taking care. That's how I would yin and yang that male and female, you know, frame that based on what you said. Take action because we all know that that's how things do happen. And that energy is important, but then you also have to replenish your energy. We have to have even more energy now than probably ever before, given the rate of change and disruption. And that's a segue for me into talking to you about change because I know that's really important to you. I want to, at some point, have you tell us the 4 SWs story. Yeah. And you could do that now, or we could just launch into a conversation about change. I'm going to— your choice.

Well, weave that in. I think what matters too, because again, I love this conversation around how we show up for ourselves and then how do we show up for others, right? Because to me, when I look at yin yang and people, I'm most often hired to help people grow their sales, an organization, a team, speak at an audience, or an individual coach, coaching client situation. But a lot of those sales, again, is like how you show up and nourish others, how you show up in relationship. I mean, that's what sales are, is an exchange of value in relationships. And so looking at that again, starting out first with yourself is I really just like to look at both of those things because as you're facing change, right, or you have different things that you want. Ironically, one of the ways that I help people, they hire me to grow their sales, and our very first coaching session is all about self-care, which is phenomenal. And you might think, well, wait a minute, how is self-care in sales? Wait, just let's get into scripting, right? I've written lots and lots of scripts for lots of people. Lots of training on what we call question-based selling and sales funneling and branding. And yes, we get into all of that, but everything's first energy, like you were saying. And when you just said we need the energy more than almost anything else, your energy is your gold mine. I remember a sales trainer said to me once years ago, the person with the most energy wins, that it's an energy game. Sometimes people make it about time management, like, I'm busy. Well, everyone's busy, right? Busy, busy, busy, not enough time, not enough time, not enough time. But it's more so— we've all had the experience where we wrap a workday or we leave an office, physical office, wrap up our work, we head home, and we might even have 3 or 4 hours we could technically work on our goals or do some other things, but we're just cooked, right? We're fried.

Yeah, exactly.

And so working on that book or getting out on that hobby or going out for a run or a bike ride, you might do it, but a lot of times it's like, wait, I'm just cooked. I'm laying on the couch. I'm scrolling my phone. I'm watching some Netflix. No judgment on any of those things because I enjoy those things myself at times. But it's often more about the energy conversation than it is even about time. Mm-hmm. And so I think just when you said that, it's like, yeah, we want to show up. So whether for some of you listening today, this is more for you personally, or this is for your business or for your sales team, it's realizing those habits for yourself and the people you work with is, are we living into alignment with those? And so, yeah, I love that conversation around, again, how we show up for ourselves and how then we show up for others because they're directly interconnected. And it's fascinating. Some of my coaching clients will start out with week 1 and we just get them literally even a few days into living consistently some of their self-care practices before we even touch their sales scripting or sales funnel and their sales will start to pop.

Yes.

And it's like, wait, we haven't even done any sales training. We've just lifted energy. And now magnetically, it's like, ooh, because that energy is palpable. And it's like, ooh, I want what he's got or what she's got. It's like, ooh, tell me more. Yeah, let's do this deal, or I wanna hear your presentation, or let's go to lunch, or whatever the case might be.

I'm gonna invite you to come in and be a guest facilitator. We, we do speaker training, and these are, these are folks sometimes that are, are company leaders. Sometimes there are people that have the dream of getting on a TED stage or doing kind of what you and I do, keynoting, things like that. But one of the first things I tell them about this, that environment is that you're managing energy. Like, that's the job of, of a speaker or a trainer is to manage the energy. And then I share something really similar to what you just said, which is that the first thing that we have to do is manage our own energy. You're not gonna be able to manage the room's energy, manage other people's energy until you have— until you manage your own. So starting in that place, when you start in that place with your clients, while it might seem like, yeah, let's just tell me how to close more. Tell me how to ramp my numbers up. Right?

You're a magic And to help me close more sales. It's like, well, that's part of it, but your energy behind the question matters the most.

Exactly. So the silver bullet, if there is one, is really that self-mastery, the management of your own energy. And then ultimately how it is that you do create a context and a container for conversations to happen that are empowering to people. And you can do that virtually. You can do it one-on-one. You can do one-on-100 or one-on-100,000. I mean, once you get the dynamics right, you understand the dynamics, The numbers are just a thing. So change, principles of change. You were so kind and had me on your show to talk about this book called Change Proof. And I want to get your beat on change because I did a lot more of the talking that particular day. I just want to call out that you're the only person I've been interviewed, I don't know, too many times to count at this point in the course of the marketing and promotion of this book. Been a lot, a lot of interviews. No one's ever commented yet other than you on the— do you remember what you commented on the first thing?

It's not even page 1. It's your lead-out. It's the statement you say, which I think is worth repeating, that's so profound.

So you brought that up. So the dedication is to all those courageous enough to embrace the unknown.

And

I just— Tiff, I literally— I was in just— you had me there. Like, I was like, whatever. Whatever I can bring to your people today, because that really had me thinking. You had me thinking about that more. And so, what does that mean to you? What was it about that statement that had you want to call that out?

Well, because, I mean, truth-telling, like, sometimes when I'm in a really good emotional state and I'm like grounded again and I'm feeling all positive, and when I'm facing the unknown, I'm like, oh, good. Life's just great and I'm excited. And then a lot of the time, though, I'm white-knuckling the unknown, right? I'm just transparent.

Yes.

Right? Like, let's have real talk, Kamri, because that only serves all of us if we're real. And so when you led out with that around the words courage and the unknown synced up together, it was like, yes. And to acknowledge that in people, because the reality is, as we know, change is the constant. I love also from working from my previous days as well, back forever ago, was You know, there's 3 constants in life: change, choice, and principles. Change will always happen. We always have choices, right? How will I choose to respond to different environments, feedback? How will I pivot? Another great book of yours, right? It's like, how will I respond, right? I have choice in the matter. I remember years ago when I first read one of Jack Canfield's books and worked for his brand for a few years as well, and then went through some of his training and then did some sales training for his company. I remember he was the one that introduced me to this very simple life formula that says event plus response equals outcome, the E plus R equals O. And when you think about it, it's like, yeah, you have all kinds of events, otherwise called change, right? Change plus response equals outcome could be your formula specific to your world and language. And so why I loved the beginning of that book is just because the times, again, seasons of life, I'm loving the unknown because so much of magic is created there. It's like the dark soil in my garden in my backyard. And you plant the seeds and then you nourish it and water it and wait for the magic and the blooms to come up, right? Like my peonies right now are in full bloom in my yard and I just love them. And then gorgeous flowers. At the time of this recording, it's June, and so it's gorgeous summertime here in Salt Lake City, Utah, where I'm based. But I love seeing that. But before we see the blooms is this whole like, ooh, you're in this dark soil and you're planting and you're nourishing. Well, we're just like that too as humans. And so sometimes the unknown feels magical. Like, ooh, what's going to come? What's this going to look like? I'm creating. I'm intentional. I'm a sculptor. I'm an artist of some kind with our lives. And like, I'm intentionally navigating this blank canvas, this unknown. And then there's times, like I was saying, it feels like I'm freaking white-knuckling that thing where it's like, oh my gosh, what's happening? You know, change here, change this, change that. And even here's the irony, and I'd love your perspective to this, even when sometimes the changes that I've set out for, that I want them to happen, when they're happening, because it's still moving me outside of what's familiar, can bring up my nerves, my anxiousness.

Yes.

Right? And that fear. And courage is the opposite, right, of the fear, or takes fear by the hand and says, we move forward anyway. And that's what I loved about your opening statement, is just the unknown is like, yeah, the magic happens there, but it also being a human, And a human that craves to some degree or another familiarity or certainty. And to dance in this area of the unknown does, and really enjoy the dance and enjoy the experience, does require courage. Regardless, it's just how we choose to interface with it.

And uncertainty is the new certainty, right? It's the thing that we all are experiencing in larger quantities than we have in the past. And I think that's got people Wigging out a little bit, white-knuckling it more, and exhausted. Because frankly, when your body is geared up for what-if scenarios, it's geared up for when the shit's going to hit or could hit the fan, it's in this sort of hypervigilant, adrenaline coursing, cortisol creating state that is tiring. It's just flat out exhausting. And people are— there are people, I think, in Every area, every industry that I have been lucky enough to get to know and be a part of, I find the same exact things happening. And the crucial missing piece, it seems, is this idea of how we truly care for ourselves. How do we learn how to be gentle with ourselves? It is a miracle we are here. And not to get too woo-woo about it, right? But—

It is true.

It is literally a miracle, not just the miracle of creation that sometimes I heard somebody talk about this. It is like one little sperm that swam upstream. You know, you know, like every odd was, you know, you're like 1 in a billion chance that you'd be created and you got created. So, you know, your life is literally a miracle. It's also a miracle that we're still around. There's a bazillion ways that things that could have taken us out, you know, to this point, because we're— look how thin-skinned we are.

Mm-hmm.

We're so physically vulnerable to a hard environment that we live in. And so, to just somehow forget all that in the midst of what we put ourselves through, often to get the job done or to please other people or to somehow make a mark or make a name for ourselves, we are shortening in many ways that we're potentially shortening our lives. I think there's evidence to suggest that that really is the case, but we're also reducing the level of our own capacity. And I only say that because for me, and I'm going to ask you this, if this rings true for you too, if I didn't have to sleep, I love to sleep, but if I didn't have to sleep, I wouldn't. I really wouldn't because there's so many things that I want to do and experience and places to go and people to meet. And all of that takes energy.

Yes.

To do those things, you have to have energy. But people somehow think that if you just keep running on an endless treadmill that never seems to end, that you barely give yourself breaks from one thing, that somehow you're going to have the capacity, the energy to Like you said, at 7 o'clock at night, just start working on your first book or sitting down with your kids, you know, and being really fully present with them at 8 o'clock when all you really feel like you're capable of doing is melt— melting into the couch.

Mhmm.

I mean, do you feel the same way that there's a lot you wanna accomplish and you've gotta manage your energy, be— create routines and rituals to be gentle with yourself for that to happen?

100%. And I think, again, it's getting really clear and then decisive, right? And we make decisions to— like, for me, I decided years ago how I start my day. And my day starts with— some mornings is more rich in depth, but at least the beginning of every day, I start, for me, some prayer and some reading, some meditation. Sometimes it's 5 minutes, sometimes it's 35 minutes. But then every morning starts with what you might call a morning ritual, or different teachers call it different things. But where there's some nourishment first and foremost with myself and just getting connected, similar, like, I love your statement, I love my life, right? As you lay in before you even, like, move on into your day, it's like a— that's an anchoring, powerful habit that you have that nourishes you and that sets your mind also and your heart in alignment, right, with what you're choosing to think and feel and believe. And so there's certain habits, but deciding, right? Everyone knows the irony. The thing about Most self-care habits, they multiply back to you tenfold or even double for you the energy. And that's what, again, what we're after is not always the time. So sometimes it's like, oh, I don't have time to work out. But for me, every time I get off a bike ride or I get off out of a yoga class or off a walk or something, I never regret that. Like, man, that was a waste of time. Never feel that way. If anything, it gives me more energy. I get more done when my self-care habits are there. And so getting clear and decisive about, again, what fuels you— body, mind, heart, spirit. On my website, TiffanySpeaks.com, there's a couple of free downloads people can tap into if they're interested that walks you through the grafting out and the designing of body, mind, heart, spirit, what I call Core 4 Habits, right? And look at those real energy-giving, life-giving habits. And so some of our habits, they give, and our choices give back to us. Some of our habits deplete us. Right. So it's being clear that what nourishes you, if it nourishes you, that's a giving back to type thing. So for you, it might be your meditation practice. Meditation gives back to me. And especially, right, I forget who says this. It's maybe it's Rumi or maybe it was the Buddha or wherever it's quoted, but says if you're busy, meditate for 10 minutes a day. If you're really busy, meditate for an hour a day.

Yeah.

Which you kind of like smile and chuckle at that. But the reality of like the grounding that brings to you. And so whether, again, meditation It's reading, it's exercise, it's time in your garden doing things off your joy list, right? The things that give you life and that multiply you, that they're prioritized and there's truly decisions like, how are you going to start your day? And the easy thing is once you decide that, then you don't have to decide every day. It's just decided. This is how I start my day. So I don't have to— that decision fatigue and using energy like, do I get out of bed and do that? Do I? Do I not? If I feel like it, I do it. If I don't feel like it, I don't. And then it ebbs and flows versus this is how I start my day, some form of nourishment. And so coming to that in what you're talking about is, yeah, it's so true. It's just often the challenge is making those decisions. So then those habits are here. But I'm with you. For you, I mean, I do love to sleep, and I'm a really good napper, actually. I know not everyone's a good napper, but I know how to nap.

There's actually an art to the nap. Right? The Art of the Nap. That's a great book.

I'm really good at napping and snacks. I mean, some of us, like you said, you know, it's like we walk around wearing these business suits and we're pretending to be grown up, but we're really just kids with longer legs, right? Yep. There you go. There's your snack.

Yep.

But some of us are just kids with not much longer legs grown up. But I do think for me, sometimes where I wish sometimes I literally could, like, take, like, a tiny packet of food fuel that's, like, awesome. And it's like I've just eaten a full, healthy meal. Because I do love to eat. I love a good meal when I can sit down and enjoy it. But when I'm in like, hey, I want stuff to do, but I want to eat good and clean and I want to eat nourishing foods, that takes more time. Sometimes I do have meal prep support here in my home to help me with that because it's like I need that fuel. But for me, sometimes taking the time in the day to eat— I know a lot of people probably listening too, they skip lunch because they're just moving to the next thing, the next thing, and we're just on the go. And then Without preparation, though, I can easily— if you're drinking too much coffee or eating the sugary stuff or the whatever for the quick fix versus that, to me, I feel you is sometimes. So sometimes I do. It's like if things get more busy when they're busier, then that's when I up my self-care support where other people might help me with, say, again, like meal prep or skincare and things like that.

I really hope you're enjoying this episode. Of the Change Proof podcast. If you've not yet gone out and gotten your own copy of Change Proof, it's not too late. You can get your copy right now by going to changeproof.com and not only getting the book and all the bonuses there, but getting access to our proprietary resilience assessment tool. It'll just take you 3 minutes to do, and it's something that will really help you to utilize the book even more effectively to create practices and rituals and habits that will increase your mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual resilience for the long term. Again, go to changeproof.com to get your copy today. I think it goes back to this idea of self- Knowing thyself. Because when you know yourself, when you explored yourself, when you're interested in knowing yourself, you know, you're not scared of that, where that leads. And it can be scary, just to be sure, right? And you start looking inside. You're not quite sure at the beginning of that process what that's going to look like. I didn't start looking internally until I was in my 40s. And it was the result of this kind of faux heart attack, or my wife likes to call it a fart attack. Back in the day.

Ad hoc, kind of like that.

Yeah. So I ended up reading this Scott Peck book, this Dr. Scott Peck amazing book called The Road Less Traveled. And it started me going on the inside. And that is scary because you will find things there that you haven't thought about before, including the traumas that we all experience in childhood and whatnot. But when you're focused on your self-awareness, then you get to know yourself and what So, for example, when you think about energy, often not many people kind of ask themselves, does that mean I should be or shouldn't be around other people? You say, well, take care of yourself, go to the gym, go do something that's going to nourish you and build your energy up. But it's like, if you're an introvert, and this is sort of a broad statement here, introverts, and I'm an introvert, I gain my energy more in a solitary way or with just a couple of people. Most. But an extrovert like my brother, for example, he goes to a concert. He wants to be in a big venue with a lot of— and he's just— that's what fills him up, to be around a lot of noise and a lot of activity and a lot of people. So that's a self-awareness thing. If you know that about yourself, you can choose an appropriate way to recharge your battery. Hydration is a big deal. Again, I'm not going to go down a few of these little holes here, but often it is That we think we're hungry. I know when I think I'm hungry, the first step I take now, not because in the moment, like with my mood, my mood is I'm cranky, I'm low energy, my stomach's growling, I need to eat. That would be my reaction. But knowing to ask a few different questions, like in this book, I talk about pause, ask, choose. So I pause and I ask, am I really hungry? Do I really need to eat now? Or is it possible that I'm just dehydrated? Yeah. And that water would create more equilibrium for me. And more often than not, this is something people can try on their own for sure. Just gulp a glass of water, take a glass of water, hydrate your body, and then see if a half hour later you haven't seen that restoration of your focus and your energy and whether or not your stomach is still screaming at you to put food in me kind of thing. So I would love to get a sense of some of your rules, Tiff, because you are You know yourself, you've done this, you've been working on your own exploration, and that helps you to help other people. It's really difficult to lead anybody when you are not self-led. Is that a fair statement? Yeah. So I would love to get a sense of some of the rules that you have when it comes to— you got a lot going on, you're juggling like we all are, and you're an entrepreneur and pulled in various directions. What are the rules? What are some of the rules or even one of the rules that are sort of not negotiable for you? In terms of how you take care of yourself?

I love this question. I think one of the things we've talked about already is that the way I start my morning, I'm very protective of that, right? And then I start my day with that kind of clarity and intention. The other thing too, one of my key rules is energy really is the discernment for me. It's the barometer of does this light me up? It's a full yes, I want to do this. This feels good, right? It's an energetic, like I'm leaning in towards it versus the resistance or the Or you're trying to talk yourself into it. The discernment on that is that the joy really— I know that can sound so life coachy, but it's true— is that, hey, the joy really is kind of my discernment. Is how much joy does this feel like that solid yes, that full yes? I want to say yes to this. Because in life, a lot of times where we're challenged is we're saying yes to things we don't really want to do or we feel guilty or should. Now, some life, there's just stuff you got to do as part of the job or the role or the life. I mean, the garbage has to go out, the laundry has to get done, and either you or someone else is gonna get that handled, or the reports have to get done for work or the office, you know. So some things— it's not to say that everything is gonna feel like a blissful experience, but when we're saying yes to different commitments, groups, invitations, and so forth, it's just like when Randy reached out and said, hey, we'd love to have you on the show. I was like, oh, hell yes! That's a yes because your energy, and I just love being around you. So that's not a— like, I don't even know what time it is right now. It's just we're in this experience and I'm loving it. And so for me, again, the energy is often what leads my decision-making. And similar to you is I was much more— I'm still extroverted to a degree, but the older I get, the more introverted I am, where I want more alone time to recharge my own batteries. And so really those rules too of protecting that time and that space where it's like, hey, I can also give myself the ability to say no, right? Because I'm clear when I'm saying no, I'm saying yes to time and energy that is a full yes. And so the more that we're clear on our key priorities, I think it's easier to navigate what's a yes and what's a no and really being aware. Because when we're not clear, it's kind of like if you're not clear, but, you know, and again, this open calendar and you might have an open evening, you get invited to this thing and Or you don't want to miss out, the FOMO stuff and all of that. And it's like without clarity, it's really easy just to say yes to and be what we might call reactive versus proactive in our decision-making. And so for me, energy is a big part of my rules and my rituals and my choices is does that person, does that project, does that experience— the more time I've had, I've been self-employed now in my 12th year. And at times I've learned this, you know, in the beginning it's like you'll take any business, right? Because you're trying to make money and revenue and, and like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. With now some time and discernment and wisdom, energy, not money, makes my decision-making. So if there's a person sometimes I've been approached about to do something with, and it's, you know, I'm always grateful, it's never out of arrogance, it's just out of alignment. As there's been times where I've turned down contracts or opportunities or things just because it wasn't the full energetic yes. And so now the energy, even more than the money, makes the decisions of where are we spending our time and what projects and what people and what groups or things that I'm exploring. That to me is a big part of how I'm— my compass, right? We might call it my compass in decision-making is how does that feel? What's the energy of it? Is it again nourishing and multiplying or is it draining? Regularly. We all, as part of humans, have experiences and things we do that might, quote, drain us, deplete us, or they're not our favorite thing to do.

Yeah.

But if on repeat, spending time in that certain group or that project is just regularly like, oh, wah-wah, it's like, yeah, I can't afford that energetically.

Right. Wanting to be affected, not infected.

So true. So true.

Interesting. Well, you know, So to me, this is, as you said, it can sound a little life coachy. I love the way you put that because these are things that we sort of know, but yet we choose to ignore a lot of the times, or we don't feel like we have permission often. And again, just because I'm often dealing with or working with leaders of other people, which is a great privilege for me because my own impact is extended then if I'm able to help somebody lead more effectively. And one of those things is that permission is not always seemingly granted to do this. What we're talking about here sounds good. They might even have workshops. They might even hire me or you to come in and help to show them, share it. But the permission isn't really there. Have you noticed that?

Yeah. I'm glad you're bringing this up because sometimes that's— I coach a lot of women, some men too, for sure. I have a handful, but it's more women than men just because of the nature of the audiences I've spoken a lot into and referrals and all of that good stuff. But I'm glad to hear this comes up too. It's for men and women is this power of the concept of permission is that we're often waiting for permission and women especially, they are unlearning some of that because they were trained to wait till you're picked, wait till you're asked, you know, you get chosen and there's therefore some of that permission work. But I think for men and women both, it's just like, again, the pressure then for the man too is like, hey, well, who cares if you like it or not? You got to provide. Go to work, get it done, make it happen.

Suck it up.

Suck it up, bud. Who cares? And it's like, oh gosh, that just makes my whole soul like, ouch. So I do think it is more though, is again, versus waiting for someone else to give us permission, right? This is where we come back to giving ourselves the permission to at least even explore the landscape. How happy am I? Where am I at truly in my fulfillment, my contentment? What are the few things or lots of things that would Again, just a lot of life and a lot of our joy and fulfillment does come through the little things, right? Like the time with the grandbaby or watching a sunset or early morning coffee and reading a good book as the sun rises. And you're doing the things that often are the littlest things that many times don't even cost money or require a lot of time. But it's just coming back to taking ownership and that permission to say, I'm going to really look at where I'm at and what do I want more of? And am I in alignment with what is working well for me? Not perfect, but man, I'm feeling well nourished. I'm feeling more vivacious and energetic and truly more often than not excited about what I'm about, what I'm working on.

I mean, we see it, this, the exit or exodus even from jobs, which is so profound, has been for many months now. The thing they call the great escape or the great resignation, right? On some level, it's a seeing or seeking a greener environment, a greener grass, right? That somehow or another, there's going to be more out there. And I get that. And I think it's actually a really good sign that people have taken that action. And yet there's a part of me that goes, well, they are likely to find very similar things wherever they go. And I'm not being cynical. And actually would love to get your thoughts on this too. It just seems like when the structures don't change, you could change your job and earn more money. And a lot of people have learned how to do that, changing jobs to increase their pay. But the sense that you are run down and out of gas and looking for the exit ramp, that's not necessarily going to change until other things change. And I'd love to get your sense of that. What do you think has to change organizationally or operationally for there to be a true Home, that people can find their home. We spend so much time at work. It is like a home. It's like a second home, or it's maybe the first home for a lot of folks.

Yeah. I love this question, Adam, because I think it's yes and yes. Meaning, when we look at creating change, right? I have this graphic that's in my main keynote deck of looking at self-love or looking at success, that there's 3 major influences. You have environments, like you're touching on, then you have mindset, and you have habits. But your mindset, your habits, and your environments are shaping you directly and shaping your sense of self-worth, self-confidence, your success. So, changing up an environment is a third of that pie, so to speak. Is it a big influence? It sure is. But to your point, if you take the exact same mindset and the exact same habits and place it in a new environment, now the environment has influence, right? And it's like, man, I'm more positive, or I'm more healthy. Or I cuss a lot more based on this environment, or I'm in this space or these less whatever powers that environment is powerful. So it's yes and yes is that can by changing your environment, changing where you work be a positive outcome? Yes. And on the flip side, can just changing up where you go to work also lead you to the exact same outcome somewhere else because the mindset and the habits stay the same? The answer is also yes. And so it's looking at all 3 of those, like the 3 legs on a stool is like, where's my mindset at and my beliefs, my mindset, my ownership, personal habits of how I'm showing up. Similar in relationships, right? Like, hey, in one relationship, yes, changing a relationship, that is a significant change and can absolutely be for the positive or can be for more of the same of the past few relationships. If there are some things there for yourself you're not taking ownership for or healing, that they'll show up again in another relationship, right? Because if you're the same person with some of the things that In that environment, you will also see similar outcomes.

Indeed.

So sometimes the right answer is to change the environment, leave a relationship, or to leave a job or a company because it's like, this is not in alignment for me. And so it's not either/or, it's and also looking at, okay, really being clear on who I am, how I'm showing up, what are my habits, what's my mindset doing so I'm influencing the new environment I'm stepping into.

Exactly. So that you increase your odds of success if you're at least cognizant of the fact that it's not just environment. Because, you know, as the old saying goes, wherever you go, there you are.

You are. You're the common denominator.

I never get sick of that one either.

No, I know.

Because it's so darn true and it hurts sometimes.

It hurts so good.

It hurts. It hurts so good.

Oh, it hurts so good.

So I want to know how you define resilience. Would you share that with me?

Yeah. So I love where I met Adam. Everyone was at this gathering earlier this year in April, and he did an incredible presentation. And I just instantly, I was like, oh my gosh, I love what this guy's sharing. I love his energy, and I really love his t-shirt collection. I mean, let's just be honest, you have a great t-shirt collection. Doesn't everyone want Adam's t-shirt collection?

Talking Tees. There's a whole There's a whole other business model there, I think.

There you go. I mean, run with it. But he was asking us this question on resilience and like, what have you learned in the last 2 years? And it was a great reflection point and it brought me home to, for me, the resilience of learning to trust myself more so, right? And to come more inward and to lean into the self-trust and the principles where I really just felt the sense of a stronger sense This was the imagery and like the feeling that came up for me was this concept of like a really solid, sturdy tree trunk was kind of the feeling and the imagery, right? Sometimes when that comes to you the way that you're processing and learning. And so for me, resilience has a lot about coming home to your roots, right? Roots and resilience to me, I think you talk about resilience and rituals, right? And the power of that. But for me, coming home to my roots, and to me, that's coming inward with myself, with my relationship with God. With my spiritual knowing of different things and trust and like, you know, just coming home to that sanctuary where you can't always prove it, so to speak, or touch it, but you can feel it and there's some knowing there. So to me, that's really resilience is about a sense of coming home to those kinds of principles and that kind of truthful knowing.

Yeah. I mean, to me, this is obviously personal, not something that everybody will agree with or would adopt, but I definitely, I think if you're at a point in your life where you've not Explored creating a spiritual practice. And I'm not talking about— I'm really not talking about religion here. And plenty of people are observant and have sanctuaries in those houses of worship, which are absolutely wonderful. I just think that for me, the greatest gift that I've ever given myself, which didn't happen until my late 40s, was to create my own spiritual practice. And that is my not That's the rule. It's very similar to yours that it begins the day. My grandmother, I got my grandmother's voice in my head from time to time, and she says, leave the house on the right foot, she would say. And I think about that in so many other contexts, just how important it is that you just lead with the right foot, lead with the right energy, lead with the right thought.

So good.

And so starting your day, why would you wait till midday to think about what you want or how you're connected? to the world, to other people, to spirit, or, you know, wherever it takes you. It really is an exploration. And it's just what you said. It is so rooting. It feels such like a home that's within me that has nothing to do with the home I'm living in at the time or where I am in the world. And, and that's important for somebody that travels and speaks. And, you know, I find myself like you do in various, you know, communities and places that I've never been to before. Some I have and some not, you know, to be rooted. to be so grounded and rooted. It's not about where we are. It's about who we are and how we feel that. Yeah.

So good.

So I don't want to force it, but I just have this in my head about these SWs.

Yes. Let's talk about that.

Should we do that?

Bring us home. But

okay, cool.

A little bit of perspective. The 4 SWs stands for some will, some won't, so what, someone's waiting. And sometimes when I'm on a panel or someone's show or At times, certain— it depends what I've been hired to speak on for a group. We'll wrap with this particular principle and story because it's great life advice. It's great sales advice, right? So whether you're— it's again more personal or for more business. But when you think about sales, what's the big often resistance people have about sales or selling? What would you say that is? I'm just curious your thoughts. Like, why do people struggle to sell at times?

To sell or to be sold to?

To be the salesperson. To be the salesperson. To reach out, to put themselves out there.

You have more experience here than I do. I think people have a very difficult time with rejection, so they don't like to be told no, really.

Right. And I get it. It's like you're putting yourself out there from whether you're inviting someone to lunch or you're inviting them to take a look at your product or to come out to your gathering and so forth. And so sales, right, that sense of we're putting ourselves out there. And for most people, if I ask them, are you passionate about your product or your service? And they'll likely say yes. Yes, or they wouldn't be doing it, right? And again, I mostly spend— I spend more time in the self-employed entrepreneurship work. So people, they've chosen it, it's their business or part of a business, and it's really personal and passionate to them, right? And I'd say, okay, but what's getting in your way of making those sales calls or reaching out? And often exactly what you said, you know, just this fear and this resistance, the fear of what will people think of me, right? When you think about what most fear comes back to, some fear of like fear of failure, well, If you tried it and no one ever knew you tried it and you failed, would you care? A lot of it again is how am I being perceived? Self— we're doing image management and I don't want to feel rejected. A lot of times the irony with fear though is we're just afraid to feel the feeling. We've all been rejected and lived through it, right? And I also like to reframe rejection that you're technically usually the same. Like if let's say I say, Adam, do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow? And you say no, or maybe you don't even respond. Or radio silence, right? Now, what really matters is all the story I make that mean in my head. But if you tell me no, well, technically, I'm in the exact same, not worse off, is I asked you to go to lunch tomorrow and you said no, and you weren't having lunch with me before I asked you, and you're still not having lunch with me after I asked you. So, I'm exactly the same. It's in my mind, I think, oh, I make it personal and so forth. But as humans, it's very common to feel nerves or fears around around selling, around putting ourselves out there. You coach also people to help them with public speaking and, oh my gosh, and sharing and so forth. So that's just a little bit of backdrop with this story because how I came to learn this, some of you have heard this phrase before again, some will, some won't, so what? Someone's waiting. The reality is, is you share yourself more, more people will say yes. There will be people that will say no, or at least no today. It might be a timing issue. They might need more trust or timing, And down the road, they'll hire you, call you, book you, buy from you. But the concept of the so what, right? And then someone's waiting. Well, many, many moons ago, I was brand new to sales. Never in a million years did I think I'd be in sales, Adam, right? Like ever. Like how many of us when we were 8 or 9 or 10 years old thought, when I grow up, I hope I'm in sales, right? Yeah, right. That's true. You

weren't

thinking that, and neither were your parents. Your parents weren't thinking that. When Adam grows up, if he ends up in sales, he's arrived.

Yeah.

Right? No, you were going to be a lifeguard and an attorney and much more noble things in society than a salesperson, right? So there's a lot of mindset to that and backdrop, not understanding that being in sales is really our ability to communicate, to solve problems for people, to provide solutions, right? To help serve them and take care of their needs. People who are great in sales are simply truly just great at relationship.

They really are.

They ask questions, they show up, they get your needs met, they help you identify your change, your problems, your needs, and they help you get those needs met, right? Really, when you think about being great in sales, we all had a story. I grew up in Utah. I thought I was going to be a traditional classroom-based teacher with special needs. I worked in 3 classrooms over 2 years as an elementary ed classroom with kiddos with different challenges, kids on the autism spectrum, Down syndrome, behavioral challenges. And I supported the teacher as an aide while I was doing my own education at university. So I thought, for me personally, I thought I was going to be a traditional classroom-based teacher, right? I worked in some different classrooms here in Utah supporting the main teacher as an aide in special needs classrooms. I've always just had a soft spot for that, and I thought I was going to be a traditional trained classroom teacher. And then I thought I was going to get married and be a stay-at-home mom and raise 3 babies and sew Halloween costumes. Right? Like, that was kind of the vision for my life, and my life looks very different. I have put dogs in Halloween costumes, I'm sorry to say. Like, I've become the woman I used to judge. Like, you guys, they're an animal, do not dress them up. But I've done it a few times, Adam. I just thought we'd get that out there in our friendship right now.

I should have known that.

I've outgrown that. It's not happened in, in the last few years. But anyway, the point being, I never thought I'd be in sales. Ever. I was going to be a schoolteacher and then raise babies. Again, not understanding the power of what that really means, that when you're great at sales, you're great at relationship. Well, here I am on, by happenstance, a double date in college, and I meet this woman and the other couple. Her father owns a training development company. I was fascinated by it because, again, I loved education and we're learning and so forth. Well, within a few months, I'm working for this firm and I'm learning the ins and outs of training and development. And very entry-level position and started that, became aware of Franklin Covey. Within a short amount of time, I went to work for Franklin Covey, which has then put my life on a totally different trajectory. But I went to work for them in sales, entry-level position, calling cold leads, and just learning the process of selling over-the-phone coaching programs. Now, this is back in like 2001, the beginning of that. So this is when you're still explaining to people what a coach is, right? It wasn't the mass-adapted buzzword that it is today. But here's what happened. My very first week of training there, keep in mind, I'm in a brand new job. I'm like 23, 24 years old. I was never going to be in sales, have no real sales background, but I'm super passionate about The 7 Habits and super passionate about true principles and education and all of that. And we're starting selling for these leads, calling through just really cold leads. And we have sales training. There's me and 3 other salespeople learning. We're going through a training class together. And I go through my little script and I'm talking to lots of people. And I go through my very first script, 5 days in on the job. I'm talking to a woman named Beth, lives on the East Coast. We're having this nice connection and we get to the end of this presentation and I invite her in to join this coaching program, again, with Stephen Covey's work. And she says yes, my first yes. Right? It's like that first kiss and you're just like, oh, you know, euphoria.

It's a big deal.

Yeah, big deal. And get me signed up and how I'm helping her. And we sign up and I'm like on a high. That's on a Monday. One week, full week into the job, I get my first sale. It's now Tuesday, the next day. And like most things in anything, in any industry that you buy, you have a time window to return it, right? And in this case, you had 3 days to cancel your coaching program for a full refund, 3-day right of rescission. So it's the very next day, I'm on another presentation. I'm on a headset. It's inside sales in an open cubicle environment. And I'm on another presentation when I get this notification from customer service that Beth, my very first sale, has decided to cancel. And I was just like defeated. I had no mindset training. So I'm thinking what kinds of thoughts? Things like, where did I get this wrong? How did I mess this up? And again, this is a straight commission scenario. So you have to close sales. There's no draws. And I'm just heavy in that funk, in that mindset, and thinking pretty, like, even for me, the most potent thought was, ooh, is the thought like, maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I don't have what it takes.

Yeah.

I don't even like saying that because I just feel like my eyes want to roll.

Oh yeah, you're getting me. I mean, that's a funk. What a great word.

And when we're in those kinds of thoughts, they show up in our body and our energy. And so imagine how my body energy looked. Open cubicle environment, I'm totally deflated. I'm thinking thoughts of, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm cut out for this. This is maybe a bad omen. It's a sign because my very first sale cancels. This is not good. And here comes my boss who's just walking the sales floor. And he went on to become a very dear friend and mentor, but I didn't know him well at all. A few days in on this job, he was former CIA with the United States government. And he was Crisp. I like

that. Yeah.

Crisp energy, right? And just like, he's walking the floor, but again, because energy is so palpable, do you think he can pick up on my energy? 100%. So he walks by my desk and he pauses, Adam, and he steps back and he looks at me and he goes, what's up with you? You know, really just kind of basic. Again, I'm 23, 24 years old at the time. I mute my phone. Because again, I'm on another presentation and I look up at him. He's standing, I'm sitting at a desk. I look up to him and these big doe eyes, I look at him and I say, my sale canceled. And he looked at me and he grabbed my yellow pad off my desk, moved it towards him, grabbed the pen, big bold strokes, he writes this, underlines it, pushes it back to me. And guess what it says?

So what?

Yes. But I was like, are you serious? Again, I'm this young girl who's no corporate experience and all of this stuff. Anyway, it was a state change. It woke me up because part of me, I wanted to burst into tears. It was this ironic crossroads of like, it snapped me out of where I was because he was like, hey, so what? And I thought part of me wanted to take the path of I'm going to burst into tears and cry. And in my mind, I tell the story. This is the meanest man I've ever met. Like, what an insensitive jerk. Are you kidding me? This is a really big deal, bud. Really big deal. My first sale canceled. I'm in the funky funk. The other part of me, the other crossroads was like, I'm so pissed off. What a jerk. Like, I'm gonna give him peace. Are you serious? But it just snapped me out of this moment that I'm forever grateful for because in that moment, he cared more about Mentoring me than he cared about comforting me. And that's great leadership and great parenting sometimes, right? It's just that willingness is because where I was going is I was full-on planting seeds in the zip code of discouragement, right? And some of the best coaching advice I've ever received comes, of course, from my mama, right? And my mom would say this to me at different points growing up. And every once in a while, I still hear it because I'm still growing up. But she would say this to me. She'd say, you know, Tiff, If you're going through hell, don't stop and build a house there.

That's

so good. And so, while we all visit the zip code of discouragement, it really matters that we don't put in a pool there or a

house

on the street.

In that plane. Yeah.

And so, we all can be discouraged. I just was really discouraged. I had no mindset training. I was banking my whole career though and literally thinking thoughts, maybe I'm out of here. Maybe I made a huge mistake to take this position. Like, this is straight commission. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. Maybe I can't hang with it. But that mentor in that moment state changed me. So what? And it felt so cold because part of me, what I really was expecting him to do was like, again, those big doe eyes. I expected him to be like, you know what, girl?

You'll be all right.

Get off the presentation. Let's go get a Diet Coke and a brownie in the cafeteria. We're going to love this out of you. I thought I was going to get coddled because that felt like support instead of true mentoring and truth-telling. It was an eye-opener. I went on to be the first female in that company's 15-year history to be what they call a top 10 performer. I quadrupled my income in a year, first time ever being in my early mid-20s as a female in Utah, okay, making 6 figures. That was a massive change for me, but it came from me changing my mind and changing my belief. Again, sometimes when people say, if you could only share one piece of life advice or sales advice, it is those 4 SWs that some will and some won't. So what? Someone's waiting. That 4th one is there are people that are absolutely looking for your program, your product, your service, and they're looking to work with someone like just you, that it's like, oh, okay, this is the right fit. But the willingness, that lesson of Truly, of persistence and mindset and how we see it. And so, I do love the 4 SWs. They're here in my office. They remind me of that lesson. But it was one of those crossroad moments, really, where in my own personal growth, and it was intense for that moment, but it was such a window, if you will, a shift of state of changing my thinking. And it's like, so what? Okay, so a sale cancels, a contract falls through. Or you're dating someone and they decide they don't want to date you anymore, different this and that. And while you have definitely, I wouldn't maybe be as so what, like be gentle with yourself like we've talked about, but also realize that life and sales success, it's not about the most attractive person, the smartest person, the person with the most, you know, the best Ivy League education. It's so much of life, sales success, relationships have to do with the willingness and the persistence, right? It's like, I'm going to work through the challenges. I'm going to keep moving forward. And so that was one of those moments for me I'm forever grateful for because I don't think I'd be here with you today and all that I've experienced and what's been created. That was one of those foundational life lessons that I've visited many times, not just that one. Right. Many times over where I've had to say, shake myself, dust myself off. So what? Okay, we're going to keep moving. Someone's waiting or a new project or new opportunity. Those types of things that you get to practice.

I so love that we had the time to get to that and am really just happy that we can land the plane right there because it's a beautiful spot. I would love to have you on the show again. I'm sure that's what we're going to get is feedback from people, our listeners and everybody. So we'll work that out because I think there's a lot more ground for us to cover. But you are amazing. I love being in your energy. We did. We became very fast friends in that short period of time. But you just know, right? I mean, it's just like you get to a point in your life where you do just know again. Is this somebody that will give me energy, or is this somebody who's taking energy from me? And I don't have a lot of patience or time these days for people that are energy suckers. It's I want to be with people that I do feel filled up by, and and I'm a giver, so I'm I'm happy to do my you know my share. But I definitely feel more than full from what you shared today, Tiff. And I know everybody else has gotten just tremendous value out of this. So the show notes, for those of you that are part already, have subscribed and are used to this podcast and our format and everything, you can find more information about Tiffany Peterson and her work and everything she's up to in our show notes. There'll be links there to make it even so much quicker to just find out more and get access to ...to her podcast and the genius that you've already just experienced. And of course, we'd love to get your thoughts, your feedback, your questions. You can pose those to me or to Tiffany. Go to adammarkel.com/podcast to do it there. We'd love to get a review and all the good stuff. If you know somebody that— and I'm sure we all just know somebody that would love to be hearing some of what Tiffany shared today, including that last story. I mean, that's just epic. So feel free to share this episode with your friends and your family. Absolutely. Tiffany, thank you again. Thanks for being here.

Oh, my friend, I love being in your space and your energy too. And such fun connection. Plus snacks, right? It's like good energy and good snacks. I mean, that's always going to be a yes.

Good snacks. Yeah.

Thank you sincerely, my friend, for the good work you're doing in the world. It's a joy.

Okay, bye for now, everybody. Wow, the pace of change over the last couple of years has been rapid. And if you're a leader, a business owner, an entrepreneur, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Every day it's something different and something new. But the one thing that I've learned in performing at the height of all of those roles has been that we must be resilient. In fact, it's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And it's the reason why my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken, and all you have to do to get your own free Resilient Leader Assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient Ah, I so love that conversation with Tiffany Peterson, just in the greatest way to me, because she's got this wisdom, this insight, this really wonderful vocabulary, wonderful languaging that she uses. Just, you could just tell how seasoned a speaker, coach, facilitator she has worked at becoming because it's so just evident. But I love where our talk Talk tracked today. I mean, we talked about self-leadership and how it is that we develop self-trust and why that's so important as a way to ground ourselves, to root ourselves, to be able to start our day and continue our day in a powerful way. And these are such tangible things. We talked about self-care. And even though it's, as she said, a bit life coaching, some of these concepts, I think she really helped us to bring those things to life and how tangible they are and how non-negotiable they are in our busy, busy lives. And the lives of so many of us, whether you're working in an organization leading other people or you're leading an organization of your own, you're an entrepreneur or whatever it might be. It's just so vital today that we have enough energy, that we are able to replenish our energy and raise our energy to meet the challenges of the moment, meet the moment where it is. And where it is today is it's disruptive. Its velocity is ever increasing. It's changing. So rapidly, and, and that's not likely to change. That's only likely to increase. So to learn how it is that you light yourself up, that you, that you're able to recharge and reenergize yourself is so fundamentally important. We talked about the great resignation and how it is that, you know, in this world right now that we're living in, we can change our environment. And often that's a good idea for some people to move on and change their environment. But if you don't change your mindset, And if you don't change your habits, it's a bit like, you know, one of the legs of stool, the 3-legged stool is missing. And then we know how stable that will make us. She told the 4 SWs story, which is just— it comes at the end and it's such a beautiful lead-up to it. So I would hope that you'd listen to the entire episode to find it, but I'm just going to let you know that does come at the end and it's absolutely breathtaking. It's amazing. We talked about How it is that we can learn how to be tender, tender beings, or honor the tender beings that we already are, and how to be gentle with ourselves and how vitally important it is. Yeah, this is just talk that I think is going to resonate with so many of you. And we'd love to, of course, hear from you about it. But for now, I want you to just sit back and enjoy.

Thanks for listening, everyone. We hope you now have even more tools and greater insight To build resilience and become change-proof. Help us inspire others by sharing this episode and leaving your comments over at adammarkel.com/podcast. For more resilience tips and strategies, including support for building change-proof teams, visit adammarkel.com/becomechangeproof.