What The Magic Of Surrender Truly Means With Kute Blackson - Replay

Life happens, and not always the way we expect it to. Every single day we face change, stress, and uncertainty. What if you could learn to thrive no matter what life throws your way? Resilience expert Adam Markel and his inspiring guests explore breakthrough strategies to fully embrace change and build the resilience required to become change-proof.

In today's replay, we have Coop Blackson, an inspirational speaker, transformational teacher, Kute Blackson offers a fresh, bold look at spiritual awareness for a whole new generation. Born in Ghana, West Africa, Kute's multicultural upbringing as a child of a Japanese mother and a Ghanaian father has spanned 4 different continents. His unique lineage laid the foundation for his approach to breaking down barriers and unlocking an individual's true gifts and greatness. Some of the things that we discussed today was his deep calling to serve people at a young age, the importance of living your version of your life and not the version other people want you to have, his experience traveling to the United States at age 19 without money and knowing no one, how thinking can get in the way of the flow of the universe, And why we need to expand to meet the challenges that we face. We also spoke about how to check in with yourself and the kind of questions that you have to ask. Enjoy today's replay with the one and only Kute Blackson. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode. I am feeling really blessed in this moment for so many reasons. It happens to be Valentine's Day, and I don't typically say what day it is when you guys or podcasting, many of you probably are already, you know that it's really the kind of thing you want to be able to be consumed by folks no matter what time of the year it is and that kind of thing. So we rarely sort of say the date or lock us into a particular time of the year. But today is a day about— well, for me anyway, it's a day to remind me of how much I appreciate and I'm grateful for my wife, Randi, and for the other amazing women in my life, like my mother, who's still alive. And I'm so grateful that she's still around. I'm so grateful to be married to the love of my life for 28 and a half years, to have 3 daughters who are these beautiful, amazing young women. And one of them, our oldest daughter, is engaged as well, which is kind of cool. I mean, it's, uh, It's an interesting day because, of course, it's all about love. And mostly I think this day is associated with intimate love, with that kind of close connection. And I think it's a day also where there's an element of loneliness. There's an element of being lonely, of feeling lonely. And I'll say this because this is coming up for me right now, that just because you're in an intimate relationship doesn't mean you don't feel lonely. So I'll say vulnerably now, even being in such an incredible positive relationship for so many years, and not necessarily been easy, but it's been worthwhile. It's been everything in terms of my own development to have somebody on my team that has supported me and built me up and loved me so unconditionally for so many years. profound that has been for my own development. And I wish that for all of you. I wish that for myself. I wish that for our kids. And yet at the same time, it doesn't mean that I haven't felt lonely. And I began, I've been curious about that. I've explored that. I don't pretend to have the sort of the answer, quote unquote, to it. But what came clear to me some time ago is that the relationship that's really celebrated that we have an opportunity to celebrate not just on Valentine's Day but on every day is the most important relationship, and that's the relationship with ourselves. To love ourselves first. I'm wearing one of our new t-shirts at the moment. So for those of you watching on YouTube and those of you listening, you don't get to see it at the moment, but you can check it out on YouTube. We've got some new t-shirts out, the I Love My Life t-shirts. And the whole point of that brand, the whole point of that statement is really to inform us. So me, myself, when I wear this, I'm reminding myself and informing myself about what's most important, which is that I take care of myself, that I love myself, because I can't possibly love Randy or love the kids or love anybody any better than I love myself. And I think that's the thing that we don't get taught. I wasn't taught it. I wasn't— it wasn't modeled for me growing up by my, my own parents. It's not taught in the schools. And we could go a whole lifetime. I mean, and plenty of people do, I think, just not having a sense of that. So on this day, which is Valentine's, whether you're hooked up, not hooked up, whether you're feeling good or whatever about the love that's in your life, you can focus in this moment. And it clearly won't be Valentine's for most of you when you're listening and watching this. You can focus in this moment today. Yeah. on loving yourself. And from that space, I get to spend some time with a gentleman that to me is a— and he's a ball of love. I mean, he exudes love. He is on such a— both a verbal and a nonverbal plane, somebody that just feels like love and peace to me. So I love being in this gentleman's presence. I'm going to share a little bit about his background in a moment. His name is Kute Blackson, and he is just this incredible guy. I'll say a little bit and then bring him on, and, you know, we'll do our usual, as you guys are so familiar with already. We'll explore at a deeper level what this guy is all about, what he's up to, where his pivots have been, and where he's serving in the world today. Kute Blackson is the author of the national bestselling book, You Are the One, and is widely considered the next-generation leader in the field of personal development by everyone ranging from Larry King, my friend Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson, more. He's been featured on Larry King Now, Fox, Friends, and Dr. Drew. I will say that, that Kute has spent more than 20 years, more than 20 years inspiring audiences around the world from the first time he spoke to more than 3,000 people Get this, at the age of 8, speaking over in over 300 venues by the time he was 18, helping organizations to develop authentic leadership and achieve extraordinary performance over the last decade. His mission is simple, and I love this: to awaken and inspire people across the world to access inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their true Life's Purpose. Welcome to The Conscious Pivot today, Kute. So great to have you. I love holding up your book. This is a beautiful book, man. I mean, this is a rock-solid piece of writing and a gift to the world. Thanks for being on the show.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for the beautiful, warm introduction. I feel held in love, my friend. It's great to be here.

Resilience. It's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And in times of massive change and disruption, the kind of rapid change that we're all experiencing as leaders, as business owners, as entrepreneurs, we have to learn how to not only increase our own resilience but that of our teams. So right now we have a powerful opportunity for you to find out just how resilient you are. Some years ago, my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilience leader assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes, and it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So, go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. It's fun to read a bio, and there's things I didn't even read, and, and there's things that are not that are not written on the page. Would you share with us if you could, what's, what's something that's not written on the page? It's not part of that bio that you'd love for people to know about you.

Wow. I mean, how many days do we have?

As many as we want.

You know, I mean, wow. I mean, I could go on and on, but you know, from a very young age, I always felt a deep calling to serve people. I felt a burning desire to impact people and touch people from a very young age. I remember being 5, 6 years old. I felt, I felt the suffering of humanity. I felt pain of people. I was so sensitive. And so I just had this burning desire. And so for me, being in the field of personal development, personal growth, and I mean, yes, I'm a bestselling author, run a business, this, that, speaking, et cetera, et cetera. But for me, honestly, it was never a— I mean, yes, it's a business, but it's, it's, it was never a business. It was always for me a calling. And so For me, what I do is love, and serving people is love. And to me, it's literally the greatest privilege I have to serve people's evolution and growth. And so that's the first thing I would say. And it's remarkable. It's been a remarkable journey from the very first moment I started. I mean, I'm at age 8, I was literally thrown into my father's audience. He had about 300 churches in Ghana, West Africa. And I used to, you know, I used to literally be the rambunctious kid who would play soccer in the lobby of my father's church. And that didn't go over too well being the son of the minister. So I was literally plopped in the front row. And one day my father says, my son's going to give the sermon, and throws me on stage and says, speak. And that's how it started. 14, I was ordained, you know, as a minister in my father's church. And you could say my, my life was kind of, I mean, I wouldn't even say kind of, it was pretty much set out for me where my father announced to the congregation, my son's taken over the whole, my whole operation. He's, he, he is the one. And, uh, you know, in that moment, I, I knew deep down that that wasn't my path. But the truth was I was too afraid to confront my father at 14. I was too afraid to tell him the truth. I was too afraid to say, Dad, I'm not taking over because I was afraid if I spoke my truth, if I was honest, if I, told him how I really felt, I was afraid that I'd be outcast, I'd be alone, that we wouldn't have a relationship, that I'd lose his love, that I'd be abandoned. Talk about being alone. I was afraid I'd literally be alone. And all the hopes of, you know, tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people in my father's organization were literally on me as this 14-year-old kid. And so I felt tremendous aloneness. I felt a tremendous pressure. Uh, And so for 4 years I said nothing. And yet I knew in that moment of, you could say, betraying my truth, um, was an incredible pain. And I think whenever we betray our truth, whenever we're not true to ourselves and our soul and that knowing that we all have, it's painful. And so it took me 4 years to muster up the courage to really confront my father. And, uh, literally when I was 18, Adam, I looked into my future and I saw the expected path that everyone had. And, you know, look, there's no shortage of people in life that will tell you who you should be and how you should live and, you know, think they know how your life should be. And that was my life. I was going down this path and looked into my future and I saw myself at 24 and 34 and, you know, 44 and 54 and 64 and just on and on. I thought, wow, I could be successful by everyone else's standards, you know, have the love of my father, but if I don't have myself, what the hell do I have? I have nothing. And I saw myself at the end of my life living someone else's version for my life, and I realized, you know, I'm— if I live someone else's version for my life, then I don't really have a life. I'm not really alive, you know. And so, uh, made peace with, uh, my truth basically, and made peace with letting go of my relationship with my my father, which was incredibly terrifying. Talk about a pivot. It was incredibly terrifying, incredibly challenging. But I decided that this was my life. I decided that nothing was worth my life. And finally had the conversation when I was 18, ready for all the consequences. Spoke to my father, told him I wasn't taking over his whole organization. And he simply looked at me and he said, I love you. That's beautiful. Are you sure? And I said, yes, you know, trembling and afraid. And he said, are you sure? And I felt my entire future flash in front of me. That was the day I became a man. I mean, you have kids, you know, that was the day I became a man and grew some cojones, so to speak.

Yes.

I was ready to be— what's the word— take, ready to face the consequences of whatever my actions were in that moment, come what may. And as terrifying as it was, there was a deep peace inside. And I said, I'm not taking over and I love you. And we didn't speak for a couple of years. And it was really, I mean, it was terrifyingly alone to feel this calling in my heart and have no one understand, to feel this calling in my heart and not have my father's support, to feel this burning desire. And I mean, cut a long story short, I ended up winning a green card in the lottery. Literally, and that was living proof for me that you know whenever you follow your soul, whenever you follow your truth, the deeper truth beyond the logic, beyond the mind, that there is an intelligence, life force, God consciousness, whatever you want to call it. There is an intelligence that is always guiding us, and the soul knows. And so once I won this green card, they gave me a tremendous amount of strength, and came to the U.S. with two suitcases. You know one in the country. One suitcase full of clothes, $1,000, another suitcase full of books, you know, personal development books, and came and found teachers, many of whom, you know, you know, Jack Canfield of the world, mentors, teachers, went and found them and studied with them. And I mean, on and on and on. But that began my journey, you know, began my, began my quest and, uh, started me off on the path in the US. And that was about, you know, 18, 20, 20 years ago. Yes.

Not an easy path.

Look, it's not an easy path. Sometimes people think that when you find your purpose, then somehow like the angels appear, the violins open, the rainbows, everything is just hunky-dory. I think sometimes when you find your purpose, that's when the challenges really start. That's when the difficulties really start. And many people think, oh, what did I do wrong? Well, it should have been easier. But the reality is, I feel, is that when we are faced with challenges, in those moments, especially when we are following our truth and we face difficulties and roadblocks, we are being prepared. I was going to say we're being tested, but rather I think we are being prepared. Mm-hmm. We are being groomed. The cosmic chef is cooking us and preparing us so that we can develop the mental, the emotional, the spirit, the spiritual, and the soul muscle to be able to be the vehicle, the human being, the person, the vessel to truly be able to embody and fulfill the purpose and the dream that we've been given. So sometimes I think that our dreams are actually evolutionary. They— we're given a vision and a purpose and a vision and a dream, and just because it doesn't happen doesn't mean it's not meant to happen. It can be timing. But I think many times those dreams take us on that journey of having to become. And so, wow, I— Those first days, Adam, were incredibly difficult. I mean, literally, I landed in the US, I knew no one in the country, a 19-year-old kid. I mean, well, I think back at what the hell was I thinking, an 18, 19-year-old kid. I knew literally nothing. I was so green. Nothing. I was just flying on the wings of my soul without thinking. And I think that's, that's an amazing thing. When I think back, I think many times thinking is what actually creates suffering. Thinking is what creates, you know, resistance. Thinking is what gets in the way of, of, of the flow, you know, the flow that's already happening. And so I wasn't thinking, so I just showed up, you know, and literally got a tiny apartment that was the size of a toilet, uh, had no money, literally, uh, was eating bread every day, dragged a mattress off of the street that someone threw out, but I was happy. I was happy because as difficult as it was, and we will be faced with challenges, you know, sometimes there's the myth is, well, if I follow my path, it's going to be easy. That's like saying, well, if I go into the ocean, there's going to be no waves. And many times we pray for the waves to stop, the waves of life, but I think we should stop praying for the waves to stop and actually expand our capacity and our ability to surf, you know. And so I was really happy, Adam, in that as challenging as it was, as alone as I felt, I could look myself in the mirror and be at peace with who I was being. I could look myself in the mirror and be at peace with the fact that I was following my truth. And I believe that you can't be truly fulfilled and happy— I don't care what you have— you can't be truly fulfilled and happy living someone else's life. And as challenging as it was, I knew I was living my life and that if I died that day, I was going to live and die based on my own truth, not my father's or anyone else's. And so there was a, there was a peace, you know, there was a peace in the fact that I was in alignment with my integrity. And for me, that was, even though I didn't have much money to show for it, I was poor as, I mean, uh, a mouse, um, there was a deep fulfillment. And I think there's a difference between like success and fulfillment. For me, fulfillment came from like the fact I was living in alignment with my truth. I was being who I really was. I didn't have a dollar to show for it. That's a whole nother, you know, that's a whole nother game. But I, I, I felt, I felt aligned. I felt coherent. I felt in alignment with my soul. And that was, that was the joy, man. I was I was literally living the dream.

And you were resilient.

Oh, it was—

You had to be, clearly.

I had to be. I mean, you know, for me, it's not a matter of like resources because I didn't have any. I mean, having no resources literally made me resourceful. I mean, I'm not proud of it, but I would literally— like some days I had $2 in the bank. I mean, literally $2. Just imagine having $2 in the bank. dollars in the bank wondering, how am I going to eat today? And I couldn't go back to my father because he was just waiting for me to come back at the time, I imagine. At least that's what I made up in my mind. So I would literally walk into a Ralphs or a supermarket, and I would pretend I was going to buy some food and put a few things in the shopping cart and snack on some bread and just suddenly change my mind and walk out. I mean, that's how I would literally survive. But I got involved with MultiLife. This is something a lot of people don't know, but I got involved with multi-level marketing. It was a satellite-based TV network dedicated to personal growth. You know, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, they were all part of the faculty. It was called TPN at the time, uh, in, in the kind of the mid to the late '90s. And, uh, I signed up for this thing because I was so passionate about personal growth. For me, this was my purpose, it was my passion. I was so passionate about personal growth, Adam. I signed up for this thing. I was gonna like be the biggest distributor in the world and share personal growth with the masses through this multi-level marketing thing. Challenges? I knew no one. So literally, talk about resilient. I would ride up and down Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles with the only suit I had, and I would harass nice-looking people like yourself, like your wife. I literally ride up and down in the elevator with you every day until you came to my network marketing meeting and signed you up. I mean, that's how I kind of got started. But that opened doors for me. I mean, it pushed me outside of my comfort zone. It developed my capacity to speak to people. and go beyond myself and speak and follow my dream. And

not to be destroyed by the word no.

Oh, I mean, for sure, for sure.

How many people, that word literally creates suffering for them to hear that word. And so they arrange their lives in many ways around not having to hear the word no.

The challenge is, I think many times when we hear the when people hear the word no, they take it personally, and that's where the pain comes. And so I literally realized— I had to realize that no isn't a personal rejection of myself. It's just the state of where someone is at. And when I could separate the two, there was a tremendous amount of freedom. Because here's what happened. Here was my— here was my rejection training. When I first joined this multi-level marketing company, my upline said, uh, I know you don't know anyone, here's a list of people you might call. He gave me the list of everyone from his past organization, and you know, they were not happy network marketers. They got burned because they had a whole bunch of product in their garages, and he's giving me that list because he doesn't want to call them. I am naive. I don't have any idea what— I'm just happy to have a list to call. So naively, I literally start calling 800 people. 800 people on the phone. I'm just calling these people. My name's Coop Blackson. This is blah blah blah. No. Click. I mean, literally took me, I don't know, a week, 2 weeks, something like that. I got so many nos. And at first it is painful because you kind of feel like it's a personal thing, but I had to switch it. And once I realized it wasn't personal, it really, it freed me up in my relationship with the word no. And it changed, it changed a lot. Changed a lot.

Yeah. It's important that— it's interesting that we struck on this. The universe is always delivering so perfectly things that, uh, that help us in the moment, because I'm sure there are people listening to this that, that have an issue with the word no, that no means rejection, no means abandonment, no means I'm not good enough. There's, there's all this meaning that, that no is packed with. And so I think it's always a great idea to ask yourself and even sit quietly in prayer or in meditation or just stillness to ask yourself what something means.

Yeah.

So right now for you, if you're listening to this and you're not strong in sales, you don't think you're strong in sales, you're not, you know, particularly inclined to having enrollment conversations or sales conversations with people, it's a good thing to ask yourself, what do you make no mean to you, for you? Because clearly, had you had an adverse reaction to that, you probably wouldn't have been able to move forward in your life from that point. It would have stopped you dead in your tracks, and you didn't have very much to fall back on in that moment. You're in a new country, you don't have any money, and here you are, you're given an opportunity to just— Battle something, get through something that would otherwise have, uh, could have crushed you right there, but you didn't. So

yeah. The thing that helped me too in terms of the whole no conversation was, um, because I was so passionate about personal growth, because I was so passionate about what I was doing, because I was so passionate about the product, because I was so passionate and it meant something to me and I knew And it could be anything for someone. It could be, you know, a supplement, it could be a con— whatever it is. But for me, I was so authentically passionate and a believer in, in personal development, you know, in self-help. And, and so I knew what it could do for people. And so because I was coming from that place of really believing and wanting to be of radical service, that when people said no, I knew that it's like I wasn't just asking for something for myself. I knew that what I was bringing to them was going to serve them and add value to their lives. And so my focus wasn't on myself. It was really about making a difference. And that shifted the whole relationship with no as well. So when they said no, I just figured they, they just don't understand the value yet. They should, you know, they just aren't quite getting what's possible for them yet. And so for me, it became about, oh, it's not about me. I just need to be able to skillfully help them understand. Like, it's like if I have a freaking Ferrari and I'm like, I want to give you the Ferrari, and they're like, no. I'm like, I'm trying to give you a Ferrari instead of being too much, you know, $400,000. I'm going to give you this Ferrari for like $1,000. And they say no. Clearly they don't understand. You know, so it was more about as that focus shifted from myself to being of service, that also transformed my relationship to their response.

Wow. The pace of change over the last couple of years has been rapid. And if you're a leader, a business owner, an entrepreneur, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Every day it's something different and something new. But the one thing that I've learned in performing at the height of all of those roles has been that we must be resilient. In fact, it's the unsung hero in every success story that you will ever hear about. And it's the reason why my team and I created the resilience assessment that more than 5,000 business leaders across the globe have taken. And all you have to do to get your own free resilient leader assessment is go to resiliencerank.com. It takes less than 3 minutes. And it's our gift to you for being the leader that you already are. Other free resources and tools will accompany your score instantly. So go to resiliencerank.com and find out just how resilient you are. This is a big deal right here because I mean, there are obviously lots of people that are in the network marketing space to this day. I mean, I just had a wonderful meeting at a network marketing company that wants me to I just speak, keynote a celebration event. They've got a big national conference thing. And so there's a lot of— and that space, that business model has continued to thrive. There's some really great companies in the space and there's some companies that are not so great. So clearly, you know, some distinctions in what you said just now were that you loved the product. You loved what it was that you were offering to people. So it's like Jim Rohn is speaking in this moment. Yeah.

You

know, that the bigger the why, the easier the how. The why was so strong for you, the purpose of what you were doing and the value in the service you were providing was so strong that it overshadowed or outdid the little voices, the fear, the insecurity that's triggered when a person clicks, you know, hangs up on you, gets angry, says no, says don't call me again, how'd you get my number? You know, take me off the list, whatever things that people hear on a routine basis to this day, not 20 years ago, but today, today, tomorrow, you know, last week, ongoingly. And for me, I remember I learned this lesson in a different context, but I was a lifeguard years ago at a beach and it was a very busy beach in New York on this, the South Shore of Long Island and on weekends.

New York has 3 beaches.

Jones Beach, yeah. I mean, we used to get 100,000 patrons there on a Saturday or Sunday. Wow. And most of them came from the city, came out in buses and things. And so there were some fields that you could drive to and other fields that the buses would show up. We worked— I worked at Field 4, and that's where the buses went. So you got a lot of non-swimmers and all that kind of thing. So anyway, we made a lot of rescues. I mean, on days when the ocean was active and there were rip currents and things like that, we'd make hundreds, literally hundreds of rescues in a day on a Saturday and a Sunday. And I learned from our captain of that field that, you know, he had a mantra. He said, nobody goes down in our water. And then he went on to say, you make the save or you die trying. That was the level of intensity when we sat up on that stand. And for the 6, 7 years, 6, 7 summers I worked there, we never lost anybody at our field. People drowned at the field to the west of us and to the east of us. And it's a brutal thing when you hear those whistles go off and you know somebody's under and they're not found. And now it's a search and rescue and it's, it's a scary and awful, awful feeling. Nobody went down at Field 4 in that, that time period and before that and after that. There have been drownings there, of course, you know, but in a lot of years, it was that intense That mantra, that commitment that nobody goes down in our water. You get in the water, you make the save, or you die trying. And that's very much the passion. And more than the passion, it's the purpose that's driving a certain activity or a certain way of being. And it sounded to me when I was listening to you that your purpose in conveying that message to people about personal development and how they could help themselves was like not giving them, you're not offering them a Ferrari, you're literally offering them a lifesaver.

That's how I, that's how I felt. So because the vision was so big, the no, it's like the no was so small. You know, the vision was so big that it was like, it's like having an ocean and someone throws a little pebble of a no in it. It just, it was like, I didn't care, you know? And that's, that was the shift for me.

Yeah. So it's interesting, as you were speaking earlier, the other thing that kind of got activated in me was this book called The Life You Were Born to Live. I don't know if you've ever read that book, but it's a Dan Millman book and there's a sort of a proposition position in the book, really magical, beautiful book, where he says that our challenges in life are— and I'm putting these in my own words, but my interpretation is that the challenges in our lives are signposts to our purpose, to our true purpose. So the challenges aren't things that we necessarily have to look at and think, well, you know, shit, wish that didn't happen, and that's a drag, and that's unfair. and why me and all the rest of it. I'm not saying we want to invite the challenge or that the challenge is something we should wake up and go, yeah, baby, you know, like, bring me more of that. But it, in very many ways, in, in much the same way you described how you overcame some of these things early on, which was first to have the courage to stand up for yourself, to stand up to your truth, to— Mm-hmm. embody your truth in the most difficult way, which was in the presence of a powerful being like your dad, in the presence of a powerful community that had expectations of you. And to stand in your truth and embody that was a defining moment, was a pivotal time for sure. Yeah. And then to come to this company, this country with nothing, And just hear that word no again and again and again, have no money and no resources, but become so purpose-driven, so willing to be bigger than those challenges that in many ways that has informed you about your life's purpose, or did it? So I'm asking you, did it inform you? Did it clarify it? Did it— how— How much would you say your life represents the truth of that statement or the, uh, the, the level at which the statement is, uh, is accurate, which is that the challenges in your life are actually signposts to your life's purpose?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think the challenges are preparation. So, so I think the more we are able, cause you said, well, maybe we don't go, yeah, but what if we did go, yeah, when the problems, you know, arise. And so if you look at like these big wave surfers like Dave Kalama, right, who we just met in Hawaii, and Laird Hamilton, I mean, they literally go seeking the biggest challenges possible. They spend their entire day going, where are the biggest challenges? I mean, they look for the biggest challenges. They don't go to the ocean and go, yeah, it was a great day, there was just like a 3-foot wave. They look for the challenges. And I saw— so I think for me, going through different challenges, coming to the US, speaking to my father, on and on, being broke, having no money, building a business, starting, getting rejection after rejection after rejection, you know, trying to do a TV show, getting rejected, radio show, getting rejected. I mean, I could— we could talk about more stories, but all of those challenges, I think, prepare us. All of the heartbreak prepare you. We are just, as I said, being cooked by the cosmic chef. so to speak, being prepared. So every divorce, every pain, every trauma is an ingredient in the soup called you that we are kind of being marinated to be prepared to serve to the world, you know. And so I think they're a necessary part of our evolution. And so I think when we can start celebrating those challenges in the moment, celebrating them as they're happening, we move ourselves out of resistance. And when we're out of resistance, not fighting the challenges as they're occurring in the moment, then it actually frees us up to, I believe, uh, release the grace that is actually active and available in the challenge, the gift that's available in the challenge in the moment, because we're not busy resisting it. There is a gift and there is grace in the challenge. So all of those challenges have prepared me. All of those challenges have made me stronger. All of those challenges have given me different insight, different perspective, different way of seeing things. All of those challenges—

All of the challenges have been required.

Required. And all of those challenges and failures have made me more humble and more compassionate of people's process and what people have been going through. And I look back and realize had certain things occurred for me at a particular moment back then, initially when I wanted it to, number one, likely I would not have been ready. I would not have been mentally, emotionally, spiritually ready to truly fulfill the purpose that was seeking to happen. And so—

So right there, Kute, right? Let's think about this, that those challenges that became part of daily life for you became the— they pointed the purpose out to you. In many ways today, your work is about helping people in the very way that you're describing now, right? It's not an accident you're speaking the way you speak. This is not the first time you've had an opportunity to share from your soul how it is that you live a healthier life, a better life, a more harmonious life. This is— I, I don't want to speak your message. I want, I want your message to come from you, but I shared your mission earlier: to awaken, inspire people across the world to access freedom, live authentically, fulfill their true life's purpose. How on earth could you be living your purpose if you didn't get those challenges to deal with?

Of course. Yeah, and that's why when I look back and go, wow, that didn't happen that happened. My God, how could I— how could I have gone through that experience? I realized certain things even not happening that seemed challenging at the time was grace. And so if someone's listening in and they're like, well, my vision didn't happen, my dream didn't happen, it's grace, you know. Some— so when things don't happen according to plan, give thanks in the moment because really it's grace and there is a purpose. to your problem as you're going through it. I mean, look at Mandela. I mean, geez, imagine Mandela, 27 years in prison. I mean, that's a big freaking challenge. But imagine if he didn't go through that. Would he have, number one, become the person he was? Would he have even— in, in the psyche of the masses, would he have been ripe to become president? So that had to happen. So there's a purpose. And I think when we can celebrate as it happens, you know, and give thanks as it happens, And look for the lessons and the evolution. Because I believe life, success in life is not just a matter of what you attain, but it's about who we become and the evolution process.

For me, you're defining resilience. When we teach as part of the work of Pivot, we talk about how important it is in this evolution, as you said, this process of change and utilizing change, that resilience is the key. And you've just given us a few of the key ingredients in that resilience recipe, right? The ability to reframe situations quickly. In fact, there was an HBR, incredible Harvard Business Review article that compared high-performing athletes, you know, the Olympic gold medalists and the top performers in professional sport, to high achievers in business and entrepreneurship and those kinds of things. And what they found was incredible. The commonality in the highest of the achievers was their ability to recover quickly, their ability to recover from setbacks fast, to get back up on the, on the horse, so to speak, to bring their heart rates down to a resting level even in the midst of stress, the stress of the moment, the stress of the point, or in between the points, in between the games, that they could recover quickly. So resilience was the key. Rituals, in fact, for recovery were so powerful. This idea that we actually cultivate, use your word earlier, that we cultivate certain practices, certain conscious practices that I would call rituals, you might call habits, that actually make you more resilient, that help you to be able to bounce back quicker so you can continue to explore and be curious about how it is that your purpose is unfolding based on even the things that you would least invite, which is challenge. So I love how you also brought into the picture the fact that there are some people like Dave Kollum or Laird Hamilton or some folks that are literally chasing after the biggest wave, the biggest challenge so that they can sharpen, sharpen themselves and their tool in the face of those challenges. So I got a couple of questions left for you. One is related to what we just said, which are these rituals for resilience. Do you have rituals yourself that help create more resilience?

Sure. I mean, let me start off with just some of the basic rituals. Like one basic ritual is I exercise every day. I mean, it's just a non-negotiable. People say, I don't have time. It's like you have to make exercise a choice to not be a choice. And so I've just made exercise a choice to not be a choice, and it just sets the foundation for my physical, for my mind, because I think the body is a structuring thing for the spirit to come through. So I do some form of exercise, an hour, an hour and 15, an hour and 20 minutes, pretty much daily in some way, shape, or form. Makes a huge difference in my life. How I feel once I exercise is radically different than any day I don't, which is very rare. So that's just a basic ritual. I meditate every day usually. 20 minutes a day, sit in silence and just be. So those are some simple ones. But one ritual, I don't know if I'm about to call it a ritual or just something I really look to practice daily. It's something that started actually when I was a teenager and looking at my future with my father and deciding what should I do. And one of the things I found keeps us stuck are all the ways that we lie to ourselves, all the ways we BS ourselves, all the ways we don't tell the truth to ourselves. We— I'm in a relationship, but it's not so bad— when damn well we know it's not aligned anymore, we're not in love, it's completed its cycle. Or I'm working a job and I just know I hate this job. So, so I think to really shift one's life as a ritual, as a daily practice, we have to be willing to tell the compassionate ruthless, radical, authentic truth to ourselves about what we feel, where we're at, what's going on for us in terms of our own inner process. And deep down, there's a part of us that does know. So as a— if we could say as a practice or ritual, ask yourself, what lies am I telling myself? What lies do I consistently tell myself? Where am I BSing myself? What lies am I telling myself? What am I pretending to not know? And, and one of the games that we play is this game of like, well, I'm confused, I'm not sure, I don't know, you know. And deep down we do know. So we have to stop playing this I don't know game. There's a part of us that knows everything because I think at the deepest level we are, we are everything. So I really am seeking daily to ask myself, what lies am I telling myself? What am I pretending to not know? What is it? What do these lies cost me? And so a daily process of actually feeling the truth and feeling the pain of the lies. Because many times we do feel the pain of I'm out of alignment, or the lies that we tell ourselves. And, uh, because we're afraid of the consequences, we distract ourselves. We social media away, eat it away, sex it away, drink it away, shop, whatever it is, to just not feel the lie we're telling ourselves. And we end up wasting so much of our lives, so much of our precious time. And the reality is every single one of us, whether you're Bill Gates, you know, Elon Musk, Oprah, you, me, the beggar on the street, we all have one thing in common: we have time. And so I say truth, like this practice, this daily practice of facing the truth— truth is real yoga, truth is real meditation, truth is real prayer, truth is real spiritual practice. And so this practice of just Looking yourself eye to eye, heart to heart, and speaking the truth, telling the truth. You know, that, that's been a huge thing for me, uh, not BSing myself. Uh, another practice that I do, again, I guess we'd call it ritual, is a daily practice of actually, I guess we could say, feeling, you know, feeling my death, Adam. Like actually feeling my death. We're making death on a daily basis my friend. Really not avoiding it, not some morbid thing, but facing the fact that, you know what, you, me, Bob Marley, David Bowie, every single person, we are going to die. I am going to die. Bringing death close, pushing, pulling death to my cheek and going, if I was going to die today, if today was my last day, would I be ready? Would I be ready? What's not spoken? What's not shared? What's unforgiven? Who do I need to forgive? And actually feeling death and remembering it as a profound inspiration to get my life correct, you know, as a profound inspiration to live authentically, as a profound inspiration to realize I don't have time to waste. Because I think when we all die and we meet our maker, whatever we believe, we can't go to God and say, hey God, you know, I kind of wasted those 4 years in, uh, in that relationship. relationship that was, you know, wasn't right. I wasted those 4 years. Could you give me those 4 years back? God's gonna say no, there's no refunds. And so a really profound practice for me— I think this is a practice that will cure procrastination, this is a practice that will dissolve fear— is face your death. Like, I am going to die. This is my, like, last day. Today could be my last day right now. And feel it. Like, feel it. I mean, it gets things pretty straight, puts things in perspective. When I do that, I'm like, you know what, this thing I'm worried about over here about this person and that friend, everything comes into perspective.

I really hope you're enjoying this episode of the Change Proof Podcast. If you've not yet gone out and gotten your own copy of Change Proof, It's not too late. You can get your copy right now by going to changeproof.com and not only getting the book and all the bonuses there, but getting access to our proprietary resilience assessment tool. It'll just take you 3 minutes to do, and it's something that will really help you to utilize the book even more effectively to create practices and rituals and habits that will increase your mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual resilience for the long term. Again, go to changeproof.com to get your copy today. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. The 23rd Psalm. I'm not a, I'm not a scholar of the Bible. I love reading sections of the Bible. That one is one that I've committed to memory some years ago, and yeah, it comes in handy at funerals for sure. But it's a daily prayer, just as you said, Kuthumi. Mm-hmm. To be present with something that is a reality. It's a reality for all of us. And it's not that— again, one of those things we might not invite to be today. We have no idea when it will be. I mean, there are people in this very moment, as we take a breath, just as you did earlier, as you took a breath in that moment, feeling what it would feel like for this to be the last moment? How are you living in this moment? There are people in that moment, in this moment now, as we breathe, taking their very last breath, which makes this moment sacred. It's sacred for so many people, including ourselves, whether, whether the axe is hanging over our head in this second and the thread is You know, thin as can be and it's frayed just enough and it releases or it doesn't, it's still a sacred, a holy moment that we get to share with each other and share either in the present or in some exploration of the past or the future. I mean, it was amazing earlier when you were speaking. I was just thinking, God, truth is so important. And, and to give ourselves the gift of truth in the present as opposed to living, living with some regret or worrying about the future. How often, probably 90% of the day, the waking thoughts that, that most people entertain during the day are either thoughts of the past or thoughts of the future, usually regret or fear.

Right.

And, uh, and we, we obviously know that all the power of life I think it was Osho that said that the past is dead. The future doesn't exist. We know that. But there's no energy that has any life to it except the present, except this moment. And so we are endowed and empowered in such an incredible way in the present moment when we're actually in the present moment. Yes. Occupying it. So thank you so much, Kuth, for sharing that. To unpack that would take us days because you shared so much that I just thought was so incredible. So yes, to live as another reference, but I love the book by Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman in the World. And if you've not read that book, all of you out there listening, watching this, go get that book. It's this tiny little book. I usually have it on my desk. Oh, I do actually.

A classic.

Oh man, it's out of control, right? This tiny little book, thin book, and one of the scrolls in this book that Og shares is to live this day as though it is my last. And I say that every day. I say it before I go to bed at night. And when I'm conscious during the day, I remind myself as I am right now that we live this day as though it is our last, which is what you're talking about. So, Kute, what a just wonderful opportunity to chat and have so much more curiosity about you and what you're up to. So I just want to ask one final question. question, which is what's, what's next? What's the next challenge for you in this moment?

Challenge? Wow. I mean, so many. Uh, part of my vision really is to sort of take spirituality, personal growth to the masses using media. And so we're working on some things TV-wise, media-wise. And so that's, that's a challenge to really spread it to, uh, kind of like, uh, what's happened with hip-hop, you know, where people like Russell Simmons, Rick Rubin took hip-hop and now it's in Brussels It's in Bombay, it's in Berlin, it's in Budapest, everywhere. And it's infiltrated the, the sort of collective consciousness of the new generation. So it's part of the vision is, is to really, uh, create more awakened culture on a mass level.

Yeah, it's like Mike Iovine saying to Jay-Z, it's not sneakers, it's speakers.

Yeah,

way cool. Take it to the masses, brother. Um, everybody out there, I hope you've enjoyed this episode as you And that you, as much as I hope that you enjoy it, I really pray and want more than anything that you take what you've heard and put it into some useful action for yourself. So whether it's to create some ritual or a conscious practice or a new habit for yourself, whether it's stillness, getting out and exercising, moving your body, creating your own rituals for resilience, your own rituals for recovery. Yeah. At least in my experience and in Koot's as well, this is a key. It's a key element to the thing that you might call success or the ability to get shit done, get your goals accomplished, is to be able to be resilient, to be able to hear that word no and put it in its proper perspective, which is usually about somebody else and their vision, and it's nothing to do with you necessarily. It's things like that. Absolutely love that I got to spend this time with you. Feel so grateful again that we were here together today. If you've not yet subscribed, please feel free to do that. You can go to adammarkel.com and subscribe to the podcast. Please leave a review on iTunes. We love the feedback. We love those reviews. So please do that as well. And join, if you haven't yet already checked out our Facebook community, the Start My Pivot community is growing and people are Incredible in that community, just sharing their vulnerable pivots and giving support, receiving support, doing amazing things. You can get there by going to pivotfb.com, pivotfb.com. And as we conclude our podcast, we'll do the same thing in a different way to bookend the beginning with the end, and that is to be in gratitude. So wherever you are, if you're not operating heavy machinery, you can close your eyes if you want to, keep your eyes open. But take a deep conscious breath in this moment. I'm gonna wave a magic wand. It's, it's one of the fun things about having the microphone is I get to do that, which is to wave this magic wand. And with it, my prayer, my intention, my, my wish for all of us is that we get to wake up tomorrow. We get to wake up physically, of course, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, that we wake ourselves up, that we are a little more conscious tomorrow. Even than we are today. And that is a good, good— it's a good sign. We're on a good trajectory just to be a little more awake tomorrow. And so that's step 1, that we wake up. And step 2 is that we are grateful in that moment, because as we take that deep conscious breath of the day, of the new day, realize that there are people who are taking their last breath in that moment. And there are also people being born who are taking their first breath. in that moment, and it is a sacred moment. And lastly, if you're inclined to say these words, they've changed my life, they've changed, I dare say, a lot of people's lives from all the people we've heard from. When you put your feet on the floor, or even while you're still in bed, you can declare out loud, I love my life. I love my life. I love my life. I certainly have loved this time, and I can't wait to spend more time with you guys in the future. For now, I will say ciao and peace.

Thanks for listening, everyone. We hope you now have even more tools and greater insights to build resilience and become change-proof. Help us inspire others by sharing this episode and leaving your comments over at adammarkel.com/podcast. For more resilience tips and strategies, including support for building change-proof teams, Visit adammarkel.com/becomechange-proof.