A Woman Tried to Sell Me Illegal Figurines

26 Aug 2024 · 2 min

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In this first‑person narrative, an antiques dealer recounts a difficult appointment at a Long Island home with a woman named Marie who tried to sell him a box of carved ivory figurines. Marie claims the collection was once valued at $10,000 by the dealer’s father twenty years ago and should now be worth much more. The dealer explains that ivory trade laws have changed dramatically; in New York, the sale of ivory is now illegal regardless of age. He informs Marie that he cannot purchase the items under any circumstances, leading to a hostile reaction from her. The story highlights the impact of evolving wildlife‑conservation regulations on the antiques market, the dealer’s ethical and legal obligations, and the tension that arises when sellers are unaware of current restrictions.

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So this is one of the toughest appointments I've ever had. So I walk into a house in Long Island, and the woman's name was Marie. From the beginning, I knew this was going to be difficult. So Marie starts by telling me, my father was there 20 years earlier and offered $10,000 for her collection. She went on to say that now, 20 years later, it must be worth a ton more. So I said, no problem, let me take a look. Happy to check. We go into the basement. She had a big box filled with stuff. So as I look in the box, I start taking the items out, and already I started sweating because now I got to give her the bad news. Unfortunately, everything in the box was ivory. It was a bunch of sculptures like this made of carved ivory. The reason that this is a problem is because the laws changed, and back when my father was there 20 years prior, the The laws were okay and ivory was not so difficult to deal with. Today, especially in New York, ivory is not legally sold. I don't care if it's 10,000 years old, I'm not selling any ivory. The laws are very difficult. So I had to tell Marie that unfortunately I didn't want to buy her collection at any price. She was not a happy camper. Fuck you.