#011 - Three Ways for Getting What You Want

Welcome to the podcast Change a Law. This is John Thibault, the founder and CEO of iLobby and the author of the book how to Change a Law, where we discuss politics, policy and, well, political persuasion. Because we want to empower voters to start thinking about changing laws. So join us. Three ways of getting what you want There are three ways of getting what you want in almost every area of life. You can petition, you can protest, or you can persuade. Can it really be that simple? Sure. Take a look. Three ways 1. Petition, 2 protest or 3 persuade. Let me start with the first petition. Ask nicely to get what you want, you have to ask for it. Most of us know what we don't want, and we have a vague idea of what we do want. But we never really ask, or we're afraid to. Why? Because when we ask, we often fear our request will be denied and we'll be disappointed. Sometimes you're afraid to ask for something on your own. You need help. So you get people's agreement, their signatures, and you hope that if you have more support, the likelihood is that you'll be granted this thing you are asking for. Petitioners are on the positive side of the ledger. You ask for what you want, you hope you can get it. And when you ask, you learn that if you have more people to help you, it will increase your chances of success. There is also a subtle threat that if you are rejected and you will tell more people about what you're asking for and whether or not you receive it. And often politicians and corporations will cave in to mass petitions and grant the request, sometimes grudgingly. Protest, demand aggressively. The negative side of asking is demanding. A negative request is a protest. You immediately take a confrontational point of view. You don't ask, you tell, you don't request. You demand. Protesters create demonstrations and boycotts. They are very public about what they are doing. They gain followers. They have short slogans, they sometimes break things, and that is their way of acting out and yelling in order to get what they want. Protesters become quite emotional, like a spoiled child. There are implicit threats that if they don't get what they want, they will pout, throw a temper tantrum, or worse. Yes, even grown ups do this. Often people don't know what the protester wants. Protesters don't always have a clear message and frustrated, they can become violent. Does it work? Sometimes. In the end, their wish is sometimes granted, but usually at a great cost. Some people think that if they have tried both asking and protesting and they get a no each time, that's an invitation to ask again. Salesmen do this all the time. They love rejection. That is the beginning of our third persuasion Persuade. Convince intelligently. Most of us don't know how to effectively convince others. If we go it alone, our plea may not carry enough weight. But when we join a crowd, we act like a mob and that doesn't work. Part of this is that we simply have not thought the process through. We may not like to use persuasion, we're not great orders and we're not comfortable in the role of the salesperson. I would like to suggest that personal persuasion is a hybrid form and a more elegant way than either of the former two ways and should become your number one conviction strategy for getting what you want. You see, when you petition, you are expecting someone to give you something. When you protest, you are demanding it. But when you persuade, you are giving something first and showing how the other party will benefit by coming around to your way of thinking. The best dealmakers are often charismatic and very good at persuasion. Persuading is subtle. It is about relationship building. It is about forming coalitions. It is about convincing others how everyone can benefit from some wise plan that you initiate. It's not selfish. It represents the height of diplomacy. So the next time you want something really big and important like a new job, an investment in your business, a home loan, a marriage proposal, a new law. Don't ask, don't threaten. Persuade. Figure out how the vision you have will benefit the most people. Share it and find like minded people who will then bend over backwards to help make your dreams come true. Persuade eloquently. You may be surprised by what you get. This has been the podcast Change a Law by John Thiebaud. To learn more, just sign on to our website at www.ilobby.co or you can also visit www.changeallaw.com com. Thanks for listening.