How a Top 100 Tennis Pro Learned to Perform Under Pressure | Jeff Salzenstein - Part 2

Welcome to the Legacy All-Stars Podcast.

We feature inspirational stories from people who dedicate themselves to helping others. Here is your host, Alan Pavlosky.

Welcome back to the Legacy All-Stars Podcast. This is part 2 of a special 2-part episode with Jeff Salzenstein. I hope you enjoy the show. That to me is really incredibly inspirational. I appreciate your vulnerability, and I just really want to celebrate that with you. You know, you've talked about success without fulfillment and inner alignment leads to burnout and disconnection. And you experienced that with Eric, I'm sure. But how did Eric's story and your process of getting through that with Eric and then ultimately losing him, how did that help bring that truth into sharp focus for you?

Yeah, I learned that— I learned that we can go on this path and we can transform and we can change. And at the same time, we're human. And I say this, one of my lines in my keynote is, you know, First of all, owning your zone, being your best every day, it's not for the faint of heart. I mean, it takes courage, it takes commitment, it takes a willingness to grow. And most people just don't have it in them for whatever reason. I believe everyone has it in them, but they choose to not commit and not face the fear and have the courage to go for it. What I learned is that, one, I think anyone can do it even if they don't believe they can. Two, we're human and we can slip up. And sometimes multiple times per day, we can have the negative thoughts. We can make choices that are hard on our body. We can say things that we regret. We can procrastinate. Like, we do a lot of things that are part of our, like, our lower self instead of our highest self. And With that being said, in any moment, we can become aware of that. We can get intentional about how we want to think, feel, and act to lead ourselves and lead others. And so, my brother was an extreme example of someone who rode that roller coaster, who rode that wave, the highs, the lows. I saw him at his highest moments. I saw him even when he was struggling when he was in good moments. And then this despair, this extreme. And then leaders and high performers are somewhere in that continuum, probably not as extreme as my brother, but we're all human. We're all going to slip up. We're all going to mess up, but we can be self-aware. We can be committed and we can just keep coming back. We can forgive ourselves and then we can get back on track and focus on the things that help us get back into alignment. And what's been interesting about this process for me is that I've been able to develop a framework that I did a workshop a month ago and some of the feedback was like, you talked about The body, the mind, and the heart. And I look at the physical, the mental, and the emotional. But you didn't really touch on the spiritual component. And I kind of smile because I'm like, well, you're right. I didn't specifically talk about the spiritual side of all of this. And I do believe that is the foundation. And if you are waking up every day and you are focusing on your recovery, you're restoring your body, the physical side, And you're also aware of changing your story and reframing your beliefs and stepping into a new identity around the mental framework of how you see yourself and how you see the world. And then you're also reconnecting to your heart. You're focusing on your breathing. You're breathing into your heart. You're working on being more present with others and bringing more compassion and having that energy where you don't let stress get to you. That sounds pretty spiritual to me.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, that practice is the ultimate practice of self-love and self-awareness and commitment to yourself. And when you do that, that is not selfish. It is selfless because you now can go out and pour into the world. If I am not sleeping well, I cannot show up and give as much to others. I got to go take a nap. If I am negative in my head, I cannot go inspire. If I am stressed out, I cannot help others emotionally regulate. So, I learned all of this through the years of studying high performance in tennis. And then, I had a chance to go through what I went through with Eric and through romantic relationships, intimate relationships that have not worked out, and the pain that I've experienced there, transitioning in business where it didn't work out the way I wanted it to, and having to go through the pain and the suffering of that. And all of that can be kind of distilled and mishmashed and pulled together into a way of being and a way of coaching and a way of supporting people where when I get on a stage and someone says, man, Jeff, you're so vulnerable, or like, I could really relate to your story, what they're feeling is all of the personal growth and the leadership journey that I've gone on so that they can feel that without me actually saying that that is happening. And so, it's really, again, it's just that It's that self-leadership so that you can lead others and inspire others. It always starts with ourselves first.

Yeah. Well, you talk about owning your zone. That's your framework. You also talk about the difference between grinding harder and building stronger fundamentals. In your experience working with leaders and organizations, what's the most common self-defeating pattern that you see?

So, the one that you just said is that we are conditioned to work harder, to grind harder, and to hustle. Now, compared to the rest of the world, again, I think I would be perceived as a grinder and as a hustler. So, I'm not going to sit here and say you don't need to grind and you don't need to hustle, but I think we can redefine it. I think if you know you're a high performer and a hard worker, that's probably not— you're not going to stop doing that. But if you can keep an eye on, well, then how are you recovering physically, mentally, and emotionally to offset all of that grind? Then you got a shot at this to have the longevity to not burn out. And so, I really want people— and I especially talk about this with Zone 1. One of the declarations that I make is that world-class athletes don't just work hard and play hard because if they work hard and play hard, they're out of the game in a couple of seasons.

Mm-hmm.

They work hard and recover harder. And I want humans to think about how every day, how can they focus on recovering harder? Well, that means is your sleep dialed in? Because sleep is a leadership skill. People are not talking about sleep enough and how important that is for recovery and healing and performance. And there's a direct correlation between how well we sleep, our sleep quality, And our happiness, health, and performance. So, we can also recover during the day with a little 20-minute catnap. We can practice doing a 1-minute breathing snack where we breathe into our heart and into our belly. We close our eyes and that can give us and restore us and give us energy. So, there are a lot of things we can do where we build in fundamentals like a couple of them that I just gave that help us to recover mentally, physically, and emotionally, and to help increase our capacity to handle the pressure. That comes our way. And so, really, for leaders and for teams, we want to help all the high performers out there focus on these fundamentals that are so important in each aspect in the 3 zones that I teach. Without it, you are going to burn out. You're going to be tired. I was actually talking to an uber-successful businessman the other day. I'm not going to give too many more details about the profession that he's in.

Okay.

And he's got a lot of pain in his body. He's not sleeping well. I mean, he's doing massive deals, massive deals, equity, business, all the things. You know, he's pounding a coffee in the morning. He's not sleeping well. His ankle hurts. He looks inflamed to me. And that is not going to end great. I mean, you can still keep producing, but for how long before it just doesn't work out anymore? And it can show up in a lot of different ways. It could be a health condition that finally slows you down, the inability to have healthy relationships with certain people. It could be, you know what, I don't really like what I do anymore. I got to find— I'm in a crossroads. So, I just think we want to really focus on how we can holistically take care of ourselves from a leadership perspective so that it will help us in every aspect of our lives. And I think a lot of us wake up every day without that awareness and without the structure of these fundamentals that can Yeah.

Wow. I mean, the research behind your work is super compelling. Organizations that invest in performance as well as well-being are more productive, more creative. They retain people longer. Why do you think so few organizations actually make this a priority?

That's a great question. I don't know because— I mean, I kind of know, but like, my gosh, the data shows That if your team is operating at a high level, you will be more profitable. Your best people will stay longer and perform better. To me, that sounds like a sports team. It sounds like an NFL team or an NBA team. So, if you think about that, if everyone on my NFL team is sleeping well, working on their mindset, working on their breathing, they can visually see the performance, if they're practicing their skills, if they're doing all these, they should— perform better and win more. The same holds true in business. I think we have been in a culture for the most part that has focused too much on the surface, the bottom line, and the numbers that you can see, and not enough on what's happening underneath the surface. And what it's going to take is more growth-minded leaders that are at the top of the food chain saying, I care about my people. It's not just lip service. It's not just a value on the wall. I care about my people and I'm actually going to lean into the tools, the techniques, and the insights, and I'm going to coach these people up through our culture and through our programming and our leadership development. And that's who hires me. It is the growth-minded CEO or leader that says, my people need this. And then the question becomes, instead of just the keynote or the workshop, it's like, Wait a minute. What if your team had ongoing coaching, accountability, and support? What is possible? And again, I don't think enough leaders are thinking that way and maybe willing to make that investment. I've been practicing it my whole life. I probably invested more in myself than— well, I know I have been more than the average Joe out there. Like, I spend a lot on myself and I can now see why it's so important just as an individual. So, if you think about a team and the impact, it's millions and millions of dollars for a company saved and made, and then performance and culture and everyone's happier. So, it's a no-brainer for me, but I come from that lens of doing it my whole life. And not every leader has come from that lens because we're taught it's about the bottom line. It's about like we got to produce. I'm here to say that I think you can have it all.

Well, yeah, especially if you can draw a direct correlation between the investment that you're making in that and the ultimate goal of the company, which is probably going to be, be more profitable. And if there's a direct line to that and you can clearly outline that it's effective, then why not invest in that?

Yeah, I think it's risky for certain companies to say, hey, You know, we are going to invest $500,000 into our wellness performance program. And then, you know, again, how do we measure that? It might take a couple of years to measure that because it's a process. And instead of outcome-focused, it's equivalent to a tennis match where all you're thinking about is winning the match at the end instead of the process of getting there. And I think a lot of companies might get fixated on the numbers and the end result instead of the process, knowing that, hey, we may not see the benefits for 2 or 3 years because we need those. We need our talent to be around for 2 or 3 years, maybe 5 years to see the exponential growth. So, it takes courage, commitment, a willingness to grow. And that's usually the top 1% or top 5% of leaders that might see that and then budget for that.

Right, right. Well, you speak a lot about energy, not just physical energy, but mental and emotional energy. How do you define what it means to operate from your energy zone?

So I think the most important resource we have is our energy, and I continue to learn that more and more. I mean, Tony Robbins is the perfect example. Like, when he runs his shows, he's not coming out and mellow. He's coming out and he is He's on fire. Right. And he's hopping up and down and he's dancing and he's playing the music. And yeah, we need to help people bring more energy because energy just— it's infectious. People feel it. And the best keynote speakers in the world bring energy. The best athletes in the world have an energy about them. And so, when we talk about these zones, again, the only way you're going to have the emotional energy, the physical energy, the mental energy is if you're practicing these fundamentals on a consistent basis. And so, I'm a big proponent of energy and having that be the focus. And oftentimes, again, like it's more important to bring energy than to actually know the answer or to know the strategy. If you want to get a little bit woo-woo or we get— there's science that backs this up, but for many, it might feel woo-woo is you've got to practice bringing the energy before the thing happens. And we're not taught that either. We're usually reacting to how life is going. If we don't get the deal, then we're supposed to feel bad and drop our shoulders and kind of have low energy because that's the normal response or reaction. And then, if we get the deal, then we can be happy and have great energy. But it actually works the opposite way. When things aren't going your way, that's when you have to bring energy so that you can show the world that you're on it and you're ready to go. And then, you get more momentum and more confidence and, hey, it's all going to work out. But you have to do that before the evidence, before the world shows you it's going to happen. And that is a skill. That's like one of the ultimate skills to develop because, again, we're not taught that. And then, we experience pain, which leads to suffering when it doesn't go our way. And I always say like, I don't want you to bypass your emotions and I want you to experience grief and sadness and anger and frustration. That's important. But if we could shorten the window of time that we spend there and then we can transmute or shift that energy into appreciation, confidence, and the shoulders are back and you have that pep in your step, even if you've lost a lot, then you have a better shot of pulling yourself out of the hard times. You think about a basketball player, Stephen Curry. Let's say, if he goes 0 for 7 from 3, he's got to come down and act like he's been 7 for 7 and take the next one as if he's been making it. He can't be thinking, oh, I've missed 7 in a row. Life stinks. It's not going to work out for me. So, it's the same thing. You can just keep losing, but you got to believe that the next time it's going to work out.

Yeah.

And for me, a direct correlation there is people are like, oh, my gosh, Jeff, you're crushing it in speaking. You're all over the place. You're traveling and you're doing all these gigs and, oh my gosh, you're crushing it. But nobody knows I'm taking way more Ls than I'm getting wins. I'm having more people say no to me than yes. Just like the baseball player that hits .330, he's out 6 or 7 out of 10 the times that he comes to the plate, but he's an All-Star.

That's a Hall of Famer right there.

He's a Hall of Famer. And in tennis, you're only winning 50% of your points and you're still top 100 in the world. You're winning less than 50%. You're losing more than you're winning and you're top 100 in the world. So, same thing. Anything that doesn't go your way, you have to be like, bring on the failure. The more I fail, the quicker I get to where I want to go. And so, it's an energy that you've got to bring when you are losing or failing and your whole body, your mind, your spirit, your emotions, everything has to feel like big energy before the thing happens. Then, it starts to happen because people want to be around good energy. So, you got to bring that every day. Absolutely.

100%. Well, you're in the business of helping people get from one place to another. For someone listening right now who feels stuck professionally, personally, or emotionally, what's one practice you'd encourage them to start today?

Okay. I'm an overachiever. I'm a high achiever. I'm going to give one from each zone. So, the first one is from Restore the Body. And what you're going to do is you're going to focus on your sleep and you're going to get morning sunlight when you wake up in the morning as close to sunrise as you're going to get outside with no sunglasses and you're going to put your eyes on the sun for 5 to 10 minutes. It's going to reset your circadian rhythm. It's going to elevate your mood. It's going to shift your energy. It's going to help you sleep better and it's going to give you more energy during the day. It's something people don't think about because we're under artificial light A lot. We got to get that morning sunlight even on the cloudy days. Get outside. It makes a difference. Rewire the mind. We're going to focus on winning with our words. It's a powerful fundamental that I teach. You become obsessed with the words that you use and you try to eliminate negativity and complaining and you focus on direct proactive communication with yourself and with others. And connected to that, there's a phrase that I love to use called Up until now. So if you say a negative statement or a limiting belief, you catch yourself in the moment and at the end of the statement, you say, up until now. I feel so much pressure right now. I feel so much pressure up until now. I feel overwhelmed up until now. And what it does is it interrupts the pattern of your brain and how it works and it gives you a chance to reframe it and come up with a new possibility.

Right.

When we reconnect the heart, what we focus on is we can do a breathing snack. We can do a 1 to 3 minute breathing exercise. We breathe into the heart or into the belly. We find a natural rhythm that works. We slow the breath down. And what that does is it starts to clear stress hormone out of the brain and the body and the heart. You do this before a meeting. You do this before you transition from work to home and vice versa, before you go to bed or when you wake up and you just find these little breathing snacks and it starts to clear stress out of the body and that helps you to have more energy throughout the day. Everything that I mentioned is absolutely free. You do not have to become a biohacker and do the red light and the hyperbaric chamber and all the things that everyone— and all the supplements. You do those 3 things and life is gonna get better and better and you will start to own your zone because you are tackling the 3 zones and you're gonna start to feel that energy shift.

Yeah, I love that. I actually do a breathing snack before every podcast episode I record and I think I think it's important that I show up for these podcasts in a way that celebrates the person that I'm interviewing. Because ultimately, that tipping point for one person that's going to take something from this episode that'll make a difference in their lives is more important to me than my own little being off for that day. So I take it really seriously. And I'm really glad you brought that up. Because, you know, you don't have to be 100% on all the time. When the time gets to that point where you really need to affect the greater good and you need to be there for people, get to your best place. I really think that's good. That's amazing.

I agree. And I can feel that from you today. I could feel your intentionality. You came on today, you were very intentional, you were very clear, you were very supportive. You want to celebrate. Like, it was— I could feel it. So I didn't know that you did the breathing before, but now it makes a lot of sense.

Yeah. Well, this show is all about legacy, as I've said. It's Legacy All-Stars, after all. The word legacy means different things to different people. When you reflect on everything, the career, Eric's story, the work you're doing now, how do you personally define your legacy?

Hmm. Well, here's one thing I know is that when we're no longer here, they're going to celebrate us. They're going to throw a little party and then the next day, they're going to go about their day and life will just move on. So you might as well go for it. You might as well let it all hang out. You might as well take the chance, take the risk, do the uncommon thing, be willing to fail, be willing to be embarrassed. And with an eye on just, can I take care of myself enough be a vessel to take care of myself so that I can inspire others. And so, when it comes to legacy, if I can be remembered as someone who learned from his mistakes, learned to make a difference in other people's lives, and just that was the focus and was remembered as someone who was kind and really focused on just helping others, it's as simple as that. I don't really have anything profound to say other than it's so much more fulfilling to do something and to be in a way that can help others find their way. And so, I just love being an example. I get emails and I get messages that they love the stories and they love what I'm doing. And that helps because it's like, all right, I'm touching people's lives. And so, that's enough for me. And it's one person at a time. And we'll just see how it all shakes free over the next many years.

Yeah. And again, I get that from you. Like, everything about your aura is that you ooze intentionality about making a difference for others. That's why I wanted you on this show. It comes through so clearly in what you talk about.

Thank you so much. Yeah, it's a real thing. And I keep working on myself and I'm aware of where I can fall out of alignment a little bit and so that I can get back and then I can show up for everybody else.

That's great. Well, we've come to the end of our time together, Jeff. I've so much enjoyed this. This has been one of those conversations that I know our listeners are going to come back to. What you built on the court and far beyond it is a living example of what legacy actually looks like when it's rooted in purpose. service and courage to keep showing up. To our audience, I encourage you to explore Jeff's work. We will share the details in the show notes so that you can get a hold of him and reach out to him. Remember, the next level you're looking for isn't built on more hustle. It's built on stronger fundamentals, like Jeff said. And this conversation is a great place to start. I'm Alan Pavlosky, and this has been another episode of Legacy All-Stars Podcast. See you next week.