Alastair WallaceCEO. Lead Consultant. Trainer. Coach at Brainfood Ltd

Calling someone problematic

23 Oct 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:09

In this short YouTube monologue, Alastair Wallace argues that labeling a colleague as “problematic” is unhelpful because it provides no actionable information. He explains that effective managerial feedback should focus on concrete behaviors (e.g., interrupting, missing deadlines, being rude) and describe the impact of those behaviors on others. Wallace demonstrates a specific phrasing: “In the last two meetings you interrupted Jo several times and dismissed her suggestions before she finished. How do you think that made her feel about sharing her ideas?” He emphasizes that labels trigger defensiveness, whereas behavior‑focused statements invite awareness and accountability. At the end, he offers a free “Say This First” guide for more conversation scripts.

Chapters

This is going to sound obvious, but no one ever says it. Calling someone problematic is not feedback. It's like lighting the touch paper to a bomb. Problematic feels useful because everyone sort of knows what you mean, but you can't manage sort of. What is the person actually doing? Are they interrupting? Are they missing deadlines? Being rude in a meeting? Ignoring instructions. That behaviour is the thing you can manage. Say this: In the last 2 meetings, you interrupted Jo several times and dismissed her suggestions before she finished. How do you think that made her feel about sharing her ideas? That works because it's specific. It gets them thinking about impact. Labels invite an argument. Behaviour Invites awareness. Impact invites accountability. If you want the words for more of these awkward manager conversations just like this, grab my free Say This First guide. I'll put it with the post.