Alastair Wallace shows managers how to handle team members who agree in meetings then undermine decisions privately. Call out the pattern directly and ask for feedback in real time instead of behind closed doors. You can't control vibes, but you can manage what people actually do.
One of your team is being snaky behind your back. Hateful little swine. It's making you doubt yourself as a manager and affecting your confidence. You know the pattern. They agree with you in a meeting, but undermine you afterwards. They smile in the room, but then stir it up in conversations with others or via email. It's the worst, right? The trap is to play those politics back. Do not do that. Bring their behaviour into the daylight. Say this, I noticed you agreed to the decision in the meeting, then raised concerns separately afterwards. If you disagree, I need you to raise it in the meeting, then we can deal with it straight away. How does that sound? This works because it names the pattern without using any of those horrible negative words like snaky, undermining, gossiping. You can't manage vibes, but you can manage behaviour. If you want the words for more awkward manager moments like this, grab my free Say This First guide. I'll put it with this post.
