Jacob Bozarth: Pursuing a Life of Courage, Connection, and Impact

Part of my story, like we spun out this new company, Resound.

Seeing kind of how I had essentially ran myself ragged at resonate of kind of like just not wanting to do that again, repeat that pattern. I'm not sure my marriage could survive through that. Just thinking about what my relationship could be like with my kids if I continued that trajectory. And just like, I didn't like my life, you know, in a lot of ways didn't like what it had become. And I have the power to change this.

But I don't know how.

Welcome to the Pursue Whole podcast, where leaders share their honest and unscripted journeys. Exploring. Exploring life's big questions and addressing the barriers that get in the way of pursuing a whole life. I'm your host, Andy Maurer.

Leaders must create the vision, but it's the vision that creates the legacy.

Jacob Bozarth spent the majority of his life casting a compelling and catalytic vision for business. But beneath the surface, he lacked vision for who he was as a person.

As this reality came to a head, he had to make a decision. Either push it down and run faster or face it with courage and allow it to transform him from the inside out.

So I am an audio engineer, or that's my background audio engineer, went to school for audio engineering. And I started my first company 2017 called Resonate Recordings. It's actually a podcast production agency. And then we built our own software and we spun out a new company which is an AI editing tool called Resound. And so I am co founder, CEO of Resound and Resonate Recordings. And yeah, that's. That's what I do. It's. It's a lot of fun and I really enjoy starting new, new businesses and leading teams and getting. Putting the right people in the right places.

When did you first start your first company?

Yeah, so I started in 2014. It was a side hustle. Me and a friend, we did a project for another friend who was just trying to do like a demo album, trying to raise money actually for adoption. Him and his wife were pursuing adoption at the time, and it went really well together. And the whole project was just a lot of fun. And so me and my friend were like. I was like, hey, we should consider starting a business. And so it was a side hustle for about three years. And then in 2017, I went full time on Resonate and quit my day job. And it was no looking back from there. Never dreamed. And it's funny too, because I never dreamed I would be leading people. You know, it's like, at first I Was like, I just need to. To get enough clients to cover my salary and not go bankrupt. And then very quickly, it was like, okay, now we're hiring, and now I'm leading people. And I never managed anyone prior to that point. So it was quite the transition.

You're describing an interesting transition between starting a job, then becoming a leader, and having to lead people, and now having a very robust business where you have investment and different things like that. And, you know, as I was thinking about stories, one of my favorite movies is the movie Braveheart. I grew up with that movie. And in that movie, you see really early on, this child goes through this sense of adversity. And as they followed the story with him, that child becomes a man. He doesn't quite have a compass, but he becomes a man. But then he becomes a leader, and that leader becomes a legacy. And I. I really want to start with you, Jacob, on this journey from childhood to manhood, manhood to leadership, and then talk about legacy on what impact you want to leave on the world around you. So let's go way back. What was it like for you as a child? What did you remember about how you showed up and who you were and your gifts as a child?

You know, as a. As a child.

I like to play, have a lot of fun. You know, I feel like I was always somewhat of a natural leader of just a charismatic kid. I remember my parents even saying, like, he's just excited about life. And so I think overall was a pretty joyful child growing up and had a lot of fun. Um, I think, you know, for me, as I've. I've kind of processed my story and thought through that. Like, I think there. There was a large part of me that didn't felt like I. Or I guess I felt like I needed to, you know, do more or prove myself or kind of be. Be a certain way to be accepted by those. By those around me in my life. And I think that that translated into, you know, friendship for me of just very. And I'm. I'm an enneagram person. And so as a three, you know, I can find myself with kind of molding to what I think or projecting what I think people want. And so I would say I think for me, I kind of showed up. However I thought others wanted me to show up.

And so was that way, what did you learn from your family, from your friends, of what they wanted Jacob to be?

Yeah.

I think how I interpreted that would have been.

I want to be fun. I want to be excited. There wasn't a lot of like negative emotions there. And I overall dismissed I think a lot of the, like what I would call, yeah, just more, more pain and suffering and like just focus more on the positive side of things. And you know, overall was I think a pretty happy kid. But I think as I reflect back, like there was a lot of.

Seeking to kind of a pleasure seeking tendency of. You know, I always remember as a kid, like whenever the day after Christmas was the saddest I would ever feel of just like this, this excitement of Christmas and then it's like it's over and it's. There's this sadness of like, oh, okay, now I have to wait. Thankfully my birthday's halfway through the year and so in July. And so it's like I could always look forward, remember looking forward to that.

In those levels of excitement, there's this drop. And what I hear you say, Jacob, is.

It just. It shows that there's kind of quite a bit of emptiness there that you wanted to fill up with excitement, joy. And sometimes we go towards pleasure and we go towards joy because on the inside we actually feel pretty empty. Did that describe a little bit of how you felt?

Yeah, I think so for sure as, as I. And again as I think I reflect back on. On that even more of just seeing, seeing those even like coming out in materialism of wanting. I remember like getting a new dirt bike, you know, and I just, I have like now knowing myself more like I have ADD and so I hyper fixate on things. But I remember as a kid like looking to for example, like the gifts that I would get at Christmas and birthday. I think that's why those were so prominent. And I think, yeah, like you said like that that was a reflection of probably like a deeper emptiness that I did feel through the, through those times.

Those are important times to address and talk about. I think for all leaders. You know, I talk to some leaders and they say I didn't have anything hard in my childhood. And you know, we all have hard things in our childhood. We all have loneliness, we all have discouragement. We all have things that happen that shape us. And those things that shape us actually make us great leaders. You've done a ton of work to understand your childhood and understand who he is. But when you look back, what do you feel towards that kid when you see him?

Yeah, I think there's multiple different feelings that I feel. I think there, there's a sense of sadness there of just being able to, you know, acknowledge, acknowledge that and even have like care and Love and empathy for, for that. That part of me and that part of my story. And then also I think there's, there's a. It's like a sense of joy as well that, that I'm able to love who I am and, and be proud of who I. Who I am and who I was and even as a kid to be proud of that.

And those are amazing things that you've learned I think in the last couple years for sure. But I know that you had quite a bit of time before a lot of that deep processing where you didn't quite have the knowledge that you have now. How did you overcome or how did you deal or how did you cope with all that pain as you started to get older? Was it performance? Was it work? Was it relationships? Like what, what helped you make it through?

Yeah, I think for me there was kind of a myriad of different things. You know, definitely my business and resonate like my years of fully being in on resonate the early years I really kind of just immersed myself and found my identity and in achieving in success and just putting my head down to the point of neglecting, you know, myself and my family. And as I look back on that I'm even. You know, there is a sadness there of man I was so fixated on making sure resonate was successful out of I think of fear of failure, filling the void of just feeling a sense of purpose and excitement and satisfaction from that. But as I reflect back on that I'm like. And I, I lament the early days of my. My kids of just wishing I could have been more present with them and more present with myself to you know, to be able to care for myself. Of just how unhealthy I was. Not just physically, emotionally.

And even mentally of just. It was, it was like a. I was like an addict. You know, I feel like with. With work specifically, you know, prior to that I think there, there. There's other things too of like I. Anytime I do feel pain, I think for me there's. There's a tendency to find like kind of numb out, disengage and so there, there have been a myriad of different things through my life that I think I've been used to cope with those things of smoking and drinking.

To you know like sexual brokenness and addictions there as well.

To material things, you know, buying new things, find new whatever those things are.

I mean it makes sense. It makes sense because what you're describing and a lot of leaders have this, this kind of void and chasm inside that has to be filled up somehow. And if we don't know how to fill that up with healthy emotional connection or relationships or purpose and identity, we'll find a way to fill that with material things or substances or work. And a lot of us carry around these deep voids inside, around, I don't know who I am, I don't know what I want, I don't know what I feel. And ways to fill that are exactly what you're describing. So if you. For leaders who are listening, if you have these things that you're grabbing onto to fill those voids, you don't need to feel shame about that, but you do need to be aware that there's a different way to fill those in a way that doesn't feel as shameful and that actually feels fulfilling. And I actually want to talk about that with you a little bit, Jacob, because you've done a lot of hard work to fill that tank with the right kind of fuel that doesn't leave you empty afterwards.

That doesn't cause so much disruption in your family. Tell me a little bit about what inspired you to want to try to do it different and find a different fuel source for those.

Yeah, I think, you know, for so kind of part of my story, like, we spun out this new company, Resound, and I largely had transitioned out of the day today at Resonate. And so in some ways, it was kind of like starting fresh with culture, with the team, with all those different things. And so, you know, I think just.

Seeing kind of how I had essentially ran myself ragged at Resonate of kind of like, just not wanting to do that again, repeat that pattern candidly. I was like, I'm not sure my marriage could survive through that. Just thinking about what my relationship could be like with my kids if I continued that trajectory. And I think, you know, I think that that was definitely one thing. Yeah, I would say the. The other thing was just kind of digging into my own story a little bit more around specifically, like, yeah, just the. The sexual brokenness. And it was reading Jay Stringer's book that kind of opened my eyes to just understanding. Like, you know, we, We. We are taught, or at least I was taught, like, this is a bad thing. This desire that you just need to, like, squash and starting to understand, like, oh, this. Like, this is a beautiful thing that can be redeemed and a beautiful desire that I can accept and love. And so I think there was, for me, there was just so much shame and.

Kind of discussed with myself and, like, who I. Who I. How I viewed myself and so I think those were large things. And then also too just like wanting, wanting to connect with my kids more, not wanting to, you know, finish work for the day and just feel like I just need to check out, zone out and I don't have the energy or the capacity to, to do that. And so I think just, just all those kind of things of just like I didn't like my life, you know, in a lot of ways. Didn't like what, what it had become and realizing that like I, no one is going to change this for me. Like I have the power to change this.

But I don't know how, you know, I didn't, I didn't really know where to go. I just, but I knew I wanted, I wanted it to change and I think that that was the, the starting point for me. Hmm.

Used a word as you described that struggle you said you just felt really a sense of disgust. Tell me more about that word. And you know, I could tell when you said that that was a pretty heavy, heavy word for you to use. Tell me more about what that felt like in that season to feel disgusted with yourself.

Yeah, I think it felt really weird because outwardly, or maybe like social media me, I was very happy, very successful, very, you know, I have an amazing wife, kids, house, like was living the American dream, per se. Internally, it almost felt like there was a different, I was a different person, almost like a different.

Just like I had this mask on per se, you know, to the world. But internally it was like I took that mask off and it was like just really not pleased, not happy with like who, who. How I viewed myself.

One thing I admire about you, Jacob, is, and this goes from being a boy to a man to a leader is you actually stepped in and started to face yourself. Even though you described this word of disgust, you had to take a good look at yourself and say there's something about who I am I'm unhappy with and I need to do something about that. Talk to me about some things that you did that helped, really helped you just come to a better self esteem about yourself or into leadership.

Yeah, you know, I think, I think a lot of it was, or one thing specifically was like having, having honest conversations about these, those things like in real. Being able to bring people into that part of my life that I felt like I would. You know, no one knew. Right. And it's, it started I think with my wife Whitney and just her response of loving me and not leaving me. And honestly I think for her, like she had A very traumatic childhood. And she kind of has always felt like.

I have all my shit together, and she, you know, I'm always the one that's, like, fixing or helping her. And so I think really it strengthened our marriage and connection just in me being real with her and being honest about my own struggles. I think I remember her saying it one time, like, oh, you are, like, it helps me realize, like, you're a real person. You know, you're not this perfect individual. And so I think there was. That's where it started of just like, her receiving me and loving me and feeling, like, seen, known and loved by her. And then as I, you know, brought other others as well in, like, close to me and got that same response of just feeling that and then obviously working with you and the same. The same there. And, you know, my wife. My wife's going to school to be a therapist. And so I think, yeah, that's. That's the beauty of. Of the work that. That you do and that therapists do is it's amazing.

So it's the transformative work, too, that you do, Jacob, and that leaders can take on. There's so much brokenness, and our brokenness can make us high performers, but it often doesn't make us great leaders.

Our healing of our brokenness is what makes us a great leader. Being broken can make you a high performer, but it's our healing of that brokenness that makes us these great leaders that transform and leave legacies. And I see you, Jacob, in your life and the family that you built and your business and how you care for people. Actually, your pain was a catalyst for a lot of your growth and pursue whole. You've heard me say this multiple times of pain is a pathway to growth, and there's really no way to avoid that and get around that. I want to focus a little bit on some of these elements of growth for you in leadership.

Talk to me about what's the biggest mistake you've made as a leader and what is the thing that you feel most proud of in your leadership?

Man.

That'S a great question.

Yeah, I think around, like, around failure specifically.

Is like, not trusting my gut at times or not speaking up of maybe doing something that I didn't really feel like we should do, but.

Maybe because I wasn't kind of confident in my own voice or my own opinion of doing that, and that played into specifically at resonate, like trying to just do too many things and chase too many rabbits of not being able to focus and do kind of the core things that we, we needed to do. And so yeah, I think just like through that, through those failures of being learning, learning to, to trust my instincts, to trust my gut and candidly like too just to be able to slow down and remove the pressure in some ways to be able to say like, you know, there, there's, there's so much pressure or I put so much pressure on myself of like, if you don't do this right, you're going to miss out. You're going to, you know, this could happen and can play out these worst case scenarios. And so I think like just learning to make decisions not based on fear or what ifs, but.

Yeah, to push forward out of, in confidence and make decisions that I feel confident in, that I'm excited about.

Did you find that when you were able to act in confidence, your team was more likely to follow you? Is that kind of what they wanted was to you to actually tell them kind of where you're headed and where, where you're going?

How did that play out with your team?

Yeah, I think so. And I can even remember.

In an exit interview with someone from Resonate, someone even sharing that with me of saying, hey, you have really good instincts and gut and sometimes you need to just trust that more.

And lean into the vision that you have.

So yeah, I think it definitely has played out and.

It'S tough for me because I really value collaborative effort and.

I want to ensure that the people I lead feel like they have a voice, feel valued and cared for. And so like.

Both of those things can exist, right? It's like I can have a really strong vision, strong direction, be very clear and somewhat authoritative in where I'm going and what I want to do in my opinions, but still value people's input and receive input and be open. And I think I, I naturally, I naturally do that. And so my tendency can be to like be afraid that I'm coming across too strong or too opinionated or too almost like, you know, con, like I've, I sometimes I've historically thought like do I like conflict? Because sometimes I can like come on really strong. But most of those times it's whenever I've kind of pushed down or neglected like my, my true feelings over time and then it's like, okay, it hits a point where like the lid comes off and then I come in like too strong. So yeah, I think, I think people do respond or have responded really well to that and even, even verbally have said like support it like just like, like I'm, I've Verbally gotten that even from like, my co founder recently of just like, hey, like, I'm. I'm. I want to follow you and like, have your back, you know? And yeah, sometimes I can. I can forget that or have this. This own nar. Like my own narrative in my own head that's like, I don't know if they trust me. I don't know if, like, if they think I'm worth following. And so sometimes it's just helpful to have that be verbalized, you know, by others.

And then what would you say, Jacob, is one of your biggest wins as a leader, something that you feel really proud about, that you feel like you did a good job in?

Yeah, I think.

Just like taking. Taking the jumps that I've taken and taking the risk that I've taken whenever at the right times of. With resonate, specifically starting resonate, that was probably the biggest risk that I took as a leader professionally and kind of really scary. Like, there was financially just uncertainty. We had two kids at the time, and then right after that, found out we were pregnant with our third. And so I would say that like that. And then also with resound of like, I wanted to spin it out and I knew I had that idea. And being. Being able to, like, pursue that and go after that and.

Take a risk. Yeah. Take those risks. Like, it's. It's scary at times, but it's. It's so worth it. Like, reflecting back. And I'm very thankful that I've. I've been able to do that and do those things.

Every great leader that I've watched and listened to, whether it's Bob Iger or Richard Branson or any of these extremely successful. One thing that they'll always point out is they are risk takers. They're willing to take a risk because they know with big risks come big rewards. They were discontent to just do what everyone else was doing.

Yeah.

See, you know, this is an opportunity. This is your moment where you got to do that and take that risk. And it could have turned out bad, but it didn't. It turned out amazing. But you. You don't know the end results of those risks. All you can do is take them and have courage and confidence that you'll make it through.

Yeah. And I think for me, in that even my mindset of failure has changed so much. Of.

Early on, it was like, I would take those risks, but I would still kind of be operating out of fear of failure and learning to, I think, just shifting my mindset to say, like, as I reflect back on my failures. Those are the moments and the pains of those things where I've learned the most and grown the most. And so, you know, I think just being able to reframe and whenever you can take those risks and of like you're not afraid of the failures because.

Even if that happens, you know, there's going to be growth and it's a weird place to be, but it's, it's, it's very like it's given me a whole new level of just confidence and excitement and joy in experiencing those things. Of like I'm, I'm not just like I'm, I'm going to be present in the journey and through this and not just looking to like make millions. You know, I'm not like motivated by money and like that's not one, that's not one of the things that motivates me the most. Like absolutely. I'm not doing business to like just for free. Right. And I want to make money, but that's not like one of the main motivators. And I think just like through, you know, through my big vision and through working with you, like being able to, to realize that has, has just created a new sense of freedom and joy and excitement to be able to pursue these things and, and have clarity of like the things that do motivate me.

Let's talk about that for a second. At Pursuit Whole, we really want to help inspire and equip leaders to pursue meaningful visions for their life, leadership and relationships. And one way we do that is through these vision documents, we call them our purpose and identity documents that we work through with our clients and you've worked through yours. So I want to talk about your vision and the leader has to create the vision, but it's the vision that creates the legacy. And I think that's really important that in order for you to be the leader, you have to move from childhood to manhood to leader and then from, to move from leader to legacy. You have to have vision. You have to be able to see what's, what's impossible and see that it could become possible. So I want to talk about your five year vision for a second that we worked tirelessly on for months and months to drill down on who you are, what do you want, what do you need, what do you feel? And to formulize that into kind of something of substance. And why don't you share Jacob, just your five year vision with us, your couple paragraphs on who you want to be in five years from now as a Person. You be willing to do that?

Yeah, I'd love to.

All right, so this is my big vision. I am an emotional. I am an emotionally connected man that enjoys the fullness of living an authentic life with others. In my presence, people feel safe and secure, which allows them to unlock the freedom to open up and live fully. I view pain as the pathway to growth, so I embrace life's challenges and pains, never retreating or seeking to escape. I am an optimist with big dreams and a clear vision. I approach decisions with confidence because I trust my internal compass. I welcome others perspectives and opinions, but they do not impact my belief or identity. I address conflict with courage and conviction, knowing that tension and can be the pathway for refining and improving relationships, business and life. Because I am fully seen, known and loved by God, I show myself the same compassion and grace that I have received. I am valuable and deserving of great things. Therefore, I prioritize and tend to my desires, needs and health. My time is valuable because it is limited. I give myself entirely to the things that matter the most. Family, health and making an impact. This makes me trust the process and have the freedom to let go of expectations and outcomes of the non essential.

It's beautiful. And our listeners don't know this, but that took so much difficult emotional processing to get there. And I'll just say this, Jacob, I'm extremely proud of you because every single one of those sentences is tied to your story of what you've had to go through or tied to who, where you're headed in your vision. Every single one of those sentences has potency and has power. What does it do for you to have clarity about where you're headed and who you want to become? What does that do for your work? What does that do for your relationships? And what does that do for your life?

Yeah, I think.

It'S.

I've said this before, but it, I think it, it gives me a sense of like groundedness, a sense of just feeling.

Yeah, like, like safe and grounded and connected with, with who I am. But also.

Yeah, just, just excited. Like I remember, you know, we, we or I. We all have like moments where we, we can feel different, like different emotions. Right. Negative emotions. And even in those moments, I think for me, like there. I remember one time specifically as we were working through this, like I was reading, I was, I was in a low spot of just feel. Having a lot of anxiety and.

Just almost like kind of about. Yeah. Of like just sadness and depression. Almost like of just feeling empty. And I remember reading this and it Just felt like. Like a. A warm blanket, like, embracing me and hugging me in almost of just.

And I think it helps me. Like, I'm someone who goes all in on the things I do, and, like, I want to give myself fully to those things, which is great. But whenever there's too many things, like, I'm not able to do. Do that, you know, and I'm. I. I don't care for myself adequately. And so I think just clarifying, like, where. Where I. What my vision is for. For who I am and. And where I want to focus, it allows me to. To be more effective in the things that I do, give myself to. It allows me to. To be a better husband, to be a better father, to be a better friend, to be a better leader. And I think you said, you know, it took us a long time, like, it's so hard because I've never. Never really done anything like this for myself. And I think that's one thing that I learned through this process was, man, I had historically really viewed myself as kind of a narcissistic, selfish person. But, you know, and so it felt weird, like, to do something where it's like, reframing my thinking around that of, no, I actually do need to, like, care for myself, and I'm actually really, like, focused on other people's opinions and caring for other people way more than I am for myself. And so just even being able to. To pause, to focus, I remember there were weeks where I was like, I didn't work on it at all because I didn't want to, you know, and it's like, there is. There's this. Yeah, I've just learned of, like, man, like, caring for yourself as a leader really empowers you to be the best leader because you are healthier and you're able to show up for those you're leading and care for them and give yourself much better as a leader than you would be able to if you're not caring for yourself. And as I reflect back on that of, like, historical years of that, I see that, and I see how that played out in my life. And, yeah, I think just having that now is, like, it's still hard for me. It's still a struggle to, like, slow down and even read a book, but I think or. Or do something that I'm like, okay, I'm. I'm not gonna just be focused on work, work or work and, like, getting things done.

Two huge things. I just want to highlight and tie your whole story together in the reality that you just mentioned two massive things that are tied to your deepest pains. As a child, you said this was able to give you a sense of recognizing who you are when as a child, you had to become what everyone else wanted you to become. You're healing that story now and changing that legacy. The second one is that you said one of your major pain points was that you invested so much into work that you forgot about your family. But now you're talking about minimizing your priorities to the core essentials which allows you to focus on your family. Vision has that ability to heal our past, but it has to be through our pain. And I just, I'm just amazed by that. I see that because you were willing to face these difficult journeys that you've gone through. You've healed two massive elements of your past and you're changing now the legacy for your children and for people coming after you. Well done. At the end of your life, what are you going to want to look back and say was most important to you in life?

Yeah, I think being excited about like the connections that I had with, with those around me that I loved the most, like with my wife, with my close friends, with my family, with my kids and even with with those that I, that I work with, you know, to be able to make an impact, to do work that I believe matters and really empower people around me.

I'm Jacob Bozarth and I'm pursuing a life of courage, connection and impact.

Pursue holes on a mission to inspire and equip high level leaders to pursue a meaningful vision for their life, leadership and relationships. We invite you to pursue whole by visiting our resources@guose whole.com.