Dr. Aravind Padmaraju explains why you overreact to things like last-minute cancellations or criticism: your inner child's alarm system is going off, triggered by old wounds from ages 7, 10, or 13. Instead of fighting the reaction, pause and talk to that child inside you. Tell it: I see you, I am not leaving you, you are safe with me.
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You are not reacting as an adult, your inner child is. That's why your reaction feels so big, so fast, and so out of control. Someone cancels the plans last minute and you spiral into "Nobody cares about me." A small criticism at work, you are convinced that you are about to be fired. Your partner seems distant and you immediately think about they are leaving. And you know it's extreme, you tell yourself to calm down, but the feeling takes over anyway, and you hate yourself for it. In that moment, you are not at 25, 30, or 40. You are at 7 years old when a parent forgot to pick you up, and you at 10 when your love felt conditional. You are at 13 when you learned that people leave without warning. Your adult brain knows that situation is not that deep, But your inner child alarm system just got triggered, and they are responding to the original wound, not the current situation. The goal is not to stop the reaction. It is to notice it and meet the child with compassion. Right now, pause and ask, "How old did I feel right now?" Then speak this out with your anger version of you. I see you. I am not leaving you. You are safe with me. The parent yourself in the way you needed back then. The reactions will soften when the child finally feels held. And this is the inner child work that changed everything for me. Save this and follow me for more such healing