Achieving Peak Performance Through Grit and Grace with Alison Tetrick

People will tell me I am so strong because I'm bloody and broken sometimes, like pushing through. And that grid isn't always the best option. And that's when grace comes in. Because you will fail. That's inevitable. And sometimes it's good to give yourself that grace, to say like, you have done enough, give yourself grace. And if you have the space in your heart and mental capacity at the moment, give other selves grace, you know, assuming that they're doing their best as well.

Welcome to the Happiness Squad Podcast. Your weekly dose of practical tips and inspirations to help you operate at your fullest potential by integrating the science of flourishing into how you live, work and lead. In each episode we will share insights, tips and stories from leading experts, company executives, and flourishing solution providers that you can implement right away to make happiness your competitive edge and find more success, joy, health, love and meaning in everything you do.

What happens when you combine a cattle ranch upbringing, elite athletic grit, a scientist's mind, and a storyteller's soul? On today's episode, I sat down with the one and only Ellison Tetrick, NCAA tennis player turned biochemist turned world class cyclist. She's not just a 3x gravel world's champion and gravel Cycling hall of Famer, she's a pioneer in redefining what success, resilience and purpose look like both on and off the bike. Alison opened up about growing up on a ranch, how her grandfather lit the spark that led her to the Olympics, and what it means to race, not just to win, but to heal, to grow and to connect. We explore together what sports can teach us about leadership, how humility fuels growth, how results follow effort, and how performance isn't just about numbers, but alignment of mind, body and spirit. Whether you lead a team, a business, or your own life, Alison's story is a reminder that grit needs grace, that success is about community, and that it is never too late to pursue new endeavors that make your heart feel flutter. Now to the show. Hi. My dear friend Ali. It is so amazing to have you with us on this Happiness Squad podcast. Thank you for joining us.

Oh man, I'm so happy to be here. You bring out joy in a lot of people, so this is a a great time for me. I.

So you know, I met you, Ali. You know, as part of the work we were doing with the U.S. olympic Committee. You know, we met in a workshop and right from the first day, you know, I was blown away by your story. I was blown away by you. You know, as I was sharing with you, you're Very special. And, you know, your life hasn't been easy, but you're one who has taken all of the obstacles, things life has thrown at you and turn them into this unbelievable force of nature that you are. And an inspiration to so many. To so many. For many people, their careers, you know, at least in the sports world, start and end on the podium. And then, you know, there's this glorious first chapter, life. And then the second part of it is, you know, I see so many, right? And now, since I've been working in the movement for almost two years, I see so many who are lost. And so I'm hoping this will be an amazing episode for them and for so many others who have finished a chapter in their life and are lost and are discovering where to go next. Because you are one who is, you know, who is doing amazing things. But I want to first chart that arc for, you know, your champion story. Take us back, Ali, to your early years and talk to me a little bit about how did sport and competition first show up in your life and what drove you?

Yeah. So I have a unique beginning to sport. I grew up on a cattle ranch in California. So organized sports weren't really a part of our lives because we lived in a really rural area far from town. There's a lot of ranch chores to do. So not a lot of, you know, going to play club soccer or getting into youth sports sports. But my parents are incredible athletes. Full working cattle ranch. My dad played football at ucla. My mom ran cross country with the men's team because they were high school sweethearts and they went to college together. But that was before title nine, so she didn't have this opportunity to compete in sports like later that I did. But sports to me in the. In young childhood is. Was just about working hard and being strong, you know, not being afraid of a challenge. My dad would have my sister and I throw a bunch of spiral footballs back and forth to see who missed first and that's who was doing dishes. You know, always some. Always some fun competition there. But I mean, I think I was just competitive being a younger sister and my dad and my mom are just, you know, incredible athletes and competitive in their own right. So we just are family of athletes. But I started out as a cowgirl, so but it was just about, I think, the hard work ethic and that translated from sports and as well as into education and school on basically anything I did amazing.

So obviously your parents were a big influence on your journey. Were they others mentors or coaches that have Shaped your philosophy on performance and perseverance and moving forward.

Yeah. So it was interesting because once I went to high school, I started playing tennis and I wanted to get a full ride to play NCAA tennis and I did. And so we're talking about me being a professional cyclist, but there's so many more steps into there. You know, it was hardly NCAA tennis into a biochemist. So I was, you know, work living in Boston doing chemistry research and drug discovery. But we're talking about that competitive turnpoint which we'll get to the mentors is. Tennis was frustrating for me because I started so late and it's such a skill sport and I got injured and there I am working in this chemistry research and drug discovery lab in Boston and I still wanted to do something. So I start running, you know, just trying to find something. Endurance sports are incredible. And being a scientist background.

Yes.

You know, it's like this is the projects that you do. It was like the more work you put into it, you know, you see this like direct result of your efforts versus some things like in the happiness project, those skills you might not always see direct results. It can take time. It's a skill. Skill. Right. And so as I, I was running and got injured again is my grandfather. And he raced bikes well into his 80s. He's a 17 time like national champion in the masters division. And he had an interesting start in sport because he was a veteran and so he didn't have a option to play sports younger or anything like that. He had a really rough life growing up doing that. So when he retired at 60 years old, he decides to get into bike racing. So those listening is never too late to start something new. But my grandpa, I call him Grampy, he's since passed away.

He started at what? When? Which age did he start?

60 years old.

Oh my God. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah.

And.

And he just was great just keeping up with the young guys around la, you know, doing the group rides. And he just found kind of a new lease on life there. He worked really hard. You know, him and my grandmother were married at 17, 18 and he was shipped off to Korea. And so he had a big life, a happy life, but. And then he found his new. His new calling was cycling. So he picked up my hand and I remember this very specifically. He picks up my hand and I'm a tall person and I do have large hands. So he called my mitts. He picked up my mitt and he was like, al, you could go to the Olympics in this sport. You could be the best in the world, in cycling. And I thought that was the dorkiest thing I'd ever heard because, you know, tight clothes. I'm a tennis player.

How old were you, Ali?

22.

Wow.

Yeah. And I think what's really interesting about it is it turns out I did. I got a bike off of ebay. I show up, Next thing you know, I'm in Colorado. And at that time, he's living in Colorado, and I'm at the Olympic Training center there in Colorado Springs, which you know very well. And I'm there, and my grandpa comes down and just so proud of me. And he was a tough guy. Like, love was not on the tip of his tongue. He showed it in his actions, but he's stern. And maybe it's his generation, it's his personality. But cycling became kind of like a love language for us, where I would call him, you know, after training or races and. And it just became our. Our language of love, where a way for him to show emotion and how much he cared for me and our family and the things I would cry and, you know, and I just described him so you can understand, like, I'm a crier, so. But I would cry to him after losing or, you know, feeling like a failure or being frustrated with an injury, and I would cry and then I would immediately apologize because he gets uncomfortable, right? Like, he's kind of like, you know, this emotion. And then I was so I. I was embarrassed and I thought, oh, Grampy, I'm sorry. I know you don't like it when I cry. And he said, no, Al, I understand. I feel you. I've been there. And he said, the best thing about cycling is it teaches you humility. That's only like a challenge against yourself and to be the best version of yourself. But there's always gonna be somebody better. You're never always going to win, but you'll learn humility and have the ability to challenge yourself. So I learned a lot through him, giving me a safe place to understand how to balance this intense competitive drive and also acceptance of failure and understanding. It's a part of the process. So he was one of my most important and loved mentors I've had.

Well, you know, Ali, I feel. I get teary eyed as I think about you, and I can feel the love and the relationship that you have with him. And, you know, I think it's really inspiring me so much. I think there's a couple of things that I want to play back that are such valuable lessons here. I think the first one Is it's never too late to start. You know, I see so many people, I was talking to somebody just a week ago who called me and says, hey, I'm like 52. This next job I take is going to be my, you know, this is it, this is the next thing. And I want to make sure I make the right thing. And I said, why? He's like, well, you know, it's 65, right? Like, let's do this for another 10, 12 years. And then I'm like, and then what? Did somebody tell you you're going to die? He's like, no, no, no. But like, you know, people have this notion of. And then the other conversation I had was something saying, this is what I've done, so what am I going to do now? And I think even in an enduring physical sport activity like cycling, you know, your invitation, he's decided to start at 60 and race till 80. I mean, that's 20 years, you know. And so I think there's so many people who tell these stories even in our, you know, in the Olympic world, right? Well, I'm a javelin thrower and that's who I am. And so now I can either be a coach and stay being a javelin thrower or just say I'm going to go commit myself to a different life skill or a work skill, right? So, so I find that very inspiring that it's never too late to start. And I think I tie that to your own story that, you know, you didn't grow up, right, like five year old cycling and that became your destiny. I mean, you know, you said I, you know, NCAA and then, you know, going, getting into running and then, you know, tennis and then cycling. So I mean, it's an amazing story of like, hey, it's never too late to start. I also love how you talked about the power of humility and this deep learning, right, that somehow in sports feels a lot closer, right? You'll never win it all and all you can do is show up and be your best self and kind of learn from it and keep going better. But again, I see this big difference. You know, somehow in corporate lives people just make it about winning or losing. And if you lose that, oh my God, everything is lost, right? I see it in deals. I'm competing, there are four other firms and if you lose it, like, oh my God, like we beat ourself up. We never think about maybe the other did better. The first response always is, you messed up. Let's look at how we messed up. Why somebody might be Better placed, they did a better job.

Right, Right. I think that that's something important I was able to take from my grandfather and help with teammates with. Because you. A time trial is an event in cycling, like race against the clock, you know, so there's not really a lot of tactics. It's just you, you know, times over a certain distance and a teammate is sitting there all upset because she got seventh or something. And Mike, why are you upset? Are you upset about the result or your effort? And that's something, Mike, It's a big difference is the result is you comparing yourself to other people and you can't always control the result, but you can control yourself.

Yeah, hundred percent.

Do you.

Are you upset about the result or are you upset about the effort that you put in?

Because the effort, you can change the result you can't.

100%. And it is so true, isn't it? Ali? In life and in sport and at work, we live in this self sovereign world of I control everything. And the reality is we control so little. Right. All we control is our actions, but the outcomes, there are so many other elements right at play. And I think that's such a beautiful reflection. Thank you. You know, one of the, one of the things that have stuck with me is you speak often about the joy of gravel and how that redefined your relationship with sport. Talk to me a little bit about that.

Yeah, so I think I raced on the World Tour, so world's biggest stage in cycling for over a decade. And it was a beautiful experience. I'm so proud of what I've accomplished there. But there was something more that I wanted. And when you're racing the road, your schedule's dictated for you. You're kind of on this pedestal, you're getting whisked around and doing these amazing Tour de France femme fxwift or, you know, doing all these amazing races.

The whole world is there. They're filming you.

Yeah.

You know, and it is truly being in rarefied air. Rally. Right. Team USA is not like it's rarefied air. Think about the. How many people try and how few make tv. Usa.

Right, Exactly. But that's, it's so rewarding. But I think sometimes you do get caught up in this external validation 100%. And I, I found something in my career. Unfortunately, I know it now, but a little later than I, I should have. So if this helps anybody. But it's also finding a goal that inspires you because I think a lot of times we end up chasing goals that somebody says, you know, yes, you need to close that deal, you need to land this client, you need to win this race, you need to look this way, you know, you need to act this way. And so I got caught up in that. Cause I like to please people and you know, there are all these like gold standards of what it looks like to be successful. And finally I like sat down one day later in my career and I was like, I want to try this gravel racing thing. There's this 206 mile race in Kansas and it made my heart flutter and it made me happy, right? And I thought, oh, wow. Like this is inspiring to me. To try something new to push my limits is scary. You know, it was. I don't ride off road, I don't ride that long. But I wanted to do it. And then I was just, you know, a little check mark in the brain going, I have to do this. And so I ended up going and trying out this gravel racing thing that was pretty new. And I won. Called my grandpa on the curb, of course he told me I was crazy and asked. When I started hallucinating, I was like, mile 176, I saw stormtroopers, but.

But I love that.

I think it was coming off of this, you know, Team usa, like big, you know, dreamy pedestal where you're so focused on your own results and to then come down into this space which is this beautiful community of like minded people that it didn't matter about my results. They liked my energy, they liked my positivity, they liked to ride their bikes all day. And it was so much more about this, this all encompassing community. And it just brought me back joy. So it just reminds me that this bikes and sport can be a tool for connection and stories and adventure. And I was just like, these are my people. Like I have arrived.

So yeah, I love that. Right? And again, such parallels. I just think about, you know, we in certain ways have spent our lives in such completely different worlds. And I can see so many parallels and lessons here from this, right? I mean, if I think about companies as I think about businesses, you know, I can think about people are racing to get on, you know, I'm going to get promoted, I want to win, I want to have the highest stock price, I want to be the number one. And even though people are in a company, they're competing, it's a very similar parallel. As I think about Ali as what you're describing, right? It's really glory for self or glory for kind of, you know, I want to be the number one. I want to Be kind of, you know, get this external validation, Wall street revenue profits, you know, did I grow faster than somebody else? Worth it. And in many of those times we forget the joy of why we are doing it in the first place. You know, I'm not sure. A lot of people today say that when I think about work, my heart flutters. Right. Actually the statistic on heart fluttering is actually much. It's a very depressing statistic. I think the highest number of heart attacks are on Monday mornings. Oh, people hate their work so much. Right. Work is no longer a place where people flourish. It's a place of immense human suffering. And you know, that's the mission that we're on fixing. But I just think about that flood, you know, it's also a place Ali, that I think about every day. You work with teams, with teammates, we can be enjoying the experience. We begin uplifting each other, we can be supporting each other and enjoying the journey versus, you know, a very self oriented, like what stadium oriented journey a winning journey can be. It's about whether you win or lose, did you make it or not. Whereas here it's a community and we are growing together, we're learning together and really in the experience. So I mean, I love that it must be so different of an experience for you. I, I mean I can say see.

That, you know, it's beautiful. But I think it goes back to, to picking out what does make your heart flutter or at least just excite you. And sometimes, you know, fluttering can be nerves and you're scared cause it's a change or it's a challenge. But I, it, it is finding something that does do that for you and then that gives you a purpose. And I think that is where you flourish and find joy is with a purpose that drives you forward.

And the only way sometimes you get at it is by trying. You know, if you hadn't gone and done that cancer race, you know, you would never have found out. It would have been this thing out there that was different and you would have always wondered is that, you know, I don't know what that is. Right.

Yeah. And I mean it ultimately changed my career. Like it relaunched like a new version of, of me where I'm able to stay in the sport, give back to this community that's given me so much and feel valued and with purpose. But like I don't, wouldn't have been able to do that without taking that leap, you know, buying my own plane ticket, negotiating with my team to even be able to do it, you know.

Yeah. Talk to me a little bit about that second mountain journey that you are on now. That second what are you like how is, what are you up to? And you know, I want our listeners to know about, about that and obviously find ways, if in any, to support you because I think you are really an inspiring light for so many others.

Oh, thank you. You know, I'm still on this mountain. Probably be here for a little while. I'm sorting it out and you'll appreciate this. This isn't unique to anybody, but it, it comes in different sizes and shapes depending on the person's life experience. But I have had to work on some self identity issues, right. Like figuring out who I am. And we didn't touch on it, but I had a traumatic brain injury early on in my career in a crash. And coming back to the sport with that, I realized, working through like neuropsychology, my clinical psychologist and all this, realizing that my identity was so wrapped up in just the bike and my performance and that gold medal like visualization. Right. And I had to realize I was more like I am a daughter, a wife, a granddaughter, a friend and a biochemist. A biochemist, Yes. I was like, oh, there's more than just bikes. Right. And so then in this gravel scene. It's similar though is if I show up to a race and I don't have to race to perform every time, I have to make sure like I don't have to be that high performance athlete as far as results. But my performance now is starting to look about, like what can I do into the community to propel.

Yeah.

This forward. So I'm really big on, on building inclusion and equity and keeping women in sports, getting them started in sports, keeping them in sports. A lot of young women quit sports around the ages of, you know, 13, 14, which you can understand why. I mean there's body changes and, and there's these incredible studies on if women like staying in sports, the how successful you can be like outside of Sport too, like CEOs, like executives. And the sports do so much for women and confidence and building and opportunity. I think it's just an important part of life. And you don't have to race for Team usa, but just staying active in this sporting environment. So I'm really focused on that. My husband and I sell bandanas of all things to get scholarships, to get more girls on bikes. So we work with this program called Nika and it's a national high school cycling league, but they have a program called grit, which is girls riding together and so we're able to give multiple scholarships to get more girls on bikes in sports. And I think also it's just really good for mental health, too. So that's one of my big projects that I love working on.

Well, I love it. I will put the links and others in our show notes. And when we, when we launch this episode, Ali, let's you and I spend a little bit of time together and create a campaign, because I would love for our listeners and others who hear the story to do their part to contribute. Because, you know, I do believe, you know, girls and women, and I think the more we can do to elevate them, I think we need that feminine power that, you know, masculine and feminine. You know, we really need more of that in our workplaces, in our worlds. And I think we. I don't think not only are we not doing enough, but in many cases, we are actually pulling back.

Yeah.

And I think it's, it's, it's a moment. I think it's really a pivotal moment for us. And anything I can do to help, I think we are there with you.

Oh, thank you. I do also like just elevating, like, I love the word elevate for this reason, but just elevating women's sports in general, whether that's working with clients that are a title sponsor or sponsor an event or a show. I have a podcast called the Move that I co host with Mari Holden and Lance Armstrong where we get to cover women's cycling. And. Because I think that's the important thing is, though, also in proving that women's sports are a good ROI for companies and a good place to. To dream about and get involved. So it's like visibility is viability. Right. If you can't see it, then it's not going to be viable. So it's just about solving that problem. So. Because we want girls to see it and dream it. Right. It's so cool. Yeah.

And believe it and know that they can. Right. And I think that's oftentimes seeing. And I can't emphasize the importance of role models because if I see you, I believe I can, too.

Yep.

Right. I want to shift a little bit and talk to you a little bit about peak performance and mental strength. Right. You had a traumatic brain injury. You've recovered from that. You've been in that chasing success phase, and now you're in a. In a very different chapter. Right. But peak performance is something that you've spent a lot of time on cultivating that. So tell me a little bit maybe even starting with how the definition actually. How do you define it and how do you. How has that actually changed over time for you?

I think peak performance originally would just be pinnacle level of success. Like, you're the best version of yourself. And I'm from an athletic standpoint that's easier to visualize. You. I'm a data dork, and cycling's really data junkie heavy. Right. You know, I. I'm watching Kilojoules. We're measuring watts, you know, body fat, percentage, distances, gradients. Right. So, I mean, a peak performance in that is just when all the stars align and you are at your pinnacle level of fitness and ready to succeed at the highest level. Right. So that's like an easy one to visualize, but it's less about numbers to me and results at that. Now, of course, and this is something that, I mean, I'm still working quite heavily on, but since it's not just about numbers and data and like a gold medal, it's now more about being aligned. Like finding the best balance, like mind, body, spirit, where you're feeling present and grounded and then you're your full self. And when you're full, when you are your full, authentic self and you feel grounded, secure, your confidence skyrockets, and I swear that your productivity skyrockets and you then are performing at your best level. But I think that has to do with balance, and it doesn't happen all the time. But this is what we're working on with the Happiness Project, right? Like, you're finding little ways that you can come together and unite this, and then I think that's where the best magic happens.

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Absolutely. And the research is so clear. Right on this. On an individual level and on an organizational level. But I love what you just said. Right. So performance. Many times in our early careers and the sports field, we're chasing external measures. It's Going back to the first part, conversation where you said, are you unhappy with the outcomes? Are you frustrated at the outcome or frustrating at the effort? And that's also what you're reflecting here is we can chase external data, podium finishes, kilojoules, all of that, or we can actually turn inwards around performance on the inputs. Am I feeling balanced physically, mentally, spiritually? Am I cultivating a way of being that is enabling me if I focus on that because I control that I can perform, you know, so high well being, focusing on our well being leads to higher performance.

Yeah, I do think there's something in there too. Versus the, you know, watts per kilo, you know, kilogram or whatever on the peak performance versus maybe this other version of peak performance. You may not be bringing your strongest self, but you're bringing your best self. And I think that that could make sense.

It absolutely does. Because again it can look so different for different people. Right. And strength and physical is just one. But there is so much and we know this, our minds are stronger than our bodies. Right. I mean any athlete, I mean I'm sure the 240, you know, the 240 mile was not all body.

Ouch, ouch.

So let's pivot a little bit to that mental game because many people don't talk about that. How do you, Ali, cultivate your mental well being? And you know, how in your journey have you learned to manage fear, setbacks, inner doubts that come up? I'm sure they come up all the time. They come up for me. I've been doing this work for a while and they show up. Right. I'm curious about how you manage those moments where we are actually not sure of ourselves.

Well, I will admit I don't always manage it well, but no one is perfect. So there we go. You know, I, it's hard, it's really hard. I also, I have anxiety and depression and that gets worse when you hit your head too many times, I will tell you that. So I ready, I joke that I operate on a high level of anxiety. It's like a nice simmer of it. But I've learned to control that. And there's projects that you and I have worked through and like mental health training. I ended up getting my graduate degree in clinical psychology because I was so fascinated with how the brain works. That was an expensive therapy but, but I think a lot of us high performing people probably deal with more self doubt and fear and anxiety.

Absolutely.

Than people that aren't that super type A achievers. Right. And I think it's part of it is what launches us to be able to hit that peak performance, but also can be a detriment because it can be paralyzing. And I. I land there, like, a lot sometimes. You know, of course, there's imposter syndrome. There's, what if I fail? You know, what if I'm not good enough? You know, and all of that. But what I'm learning is to acknowledge it and sit with the feeling a little bit and understand why I'm feeling that. And sometimes it could be I'm procrastinating something. So my. I'm anxious cause I'm procrastinating. You know, I don't want to be late. But then also, is it. It's because I'm scared? Maybe it's because I'm scared of failing or I don't want to write that email or ask for that contract. And so I'll sit with it and label it. And I think that is helpful. But even before I do that, one piece of advice really helped. I had a coach tell me this once if I'm. I was super nervous before an event, and, you know, you're shaking, you're sweating, and he's like, how are you feeling? I'm like, you know, swear word scared and nervous, right? And he said, good. And I was like, why good? He goes, it means you care. And so I'm taking that advice and saying, okay, I'm feeling these feelings like fear and nerves. It's. That's a good thing. It's because I care. And it means I know I can perform and I know I can get through this. And that, to me, is a really beautiful place to be and to understand that these feelings of fear are. It's us being human, and we care, and also we know we can do it. But other times, I. If it gets a lot, you know, you don't want to be shaking, doing a presentation in a boardroom, or going off of a ramp in a bike race. So, I mean, obviously, breath work helps a lot. Grounding does help. Like just feet on the ground, hands on something. You know, meditation in a way, but a way to, like, bring my body back in, because we're talking about. That's where I find peak performance, is when you find these blissful moments of balance. So if you can bring your. Your body back in and center it, then you are your authentic self. And you look at yourself, you say, okay, you're scared. Makes sense. This is scary. But you know what? You're scared because you can do this. And it's also okay if you fail. Like, we're here for you. And journaling helps, too.

And journaling, you know, all. There's five of these tips that you highlighted, you know, that you just mentioned. But I'm sure it took years of practice, right? Because these don't become second nature. I mean, that's what our rebuild program is all around like. Each of these moves show up in the program, and I'm just going to play them back for people. I think the first one is awareness. Right. In the Sunflower model, it's at the heart, just you knowing you're being aware of what you're feeling or knowing that, yeah, you know, I. I struggle with anxiety. It's just going to show up more for me. And it also goes away. So that means it's impermanent. But I am more than my anxiety. I am more than my sadness. I'm more than the story I'm telling myself right now. I think is. Is a very powerful step, right. Just being able to notice. I think labeling is the second big thing that I say. Once I notice, I can label I am feeling anxious rather than I am anxious. There is not much I can do. If I am anxious, I'm angry. But if I'm feeling anger, I can say, okay, I can choose to feel something else too. Right. So naming, obviously, is such a powerful, you know, this beautiful. Name it to tame it, I think is such a powerful mantra. If we can name an emotion, we actually give it less power versus it being here. We can make it an object that we can observe.

I love that I haven't heard that one before. Yeah, it's great.

Yeah. I think Rick Hanson said it, name it to tame it. It might have been him. But then the third that you highlighted is so powerful, reframing what we are feeling. So this notion of, yes, you're feeling anxious or yes, you are, you know, feeling nervous, we can take it as, oh, my God, I am not ready. And there is something here. Right. I'm going to mess up. That's one way that many of us. I know, I've done that many times. But we can also say, hey, that's just your body getting ready to rise to the challenge. Right. Because the feelings are the same. If you're about to go jump, you know, do a bungee jump. That excitement that you might feel versus the pit in my stomach when I'm like, really about to go on a stage. The body is the same. But how we reframe. And I think I really like your Reframe. Ali is. Yeah, that's great. It's great. You're feeling it because you care, right? So if you care about something. Yeah, it's okay. You know, it's actually funny because there's only one person. I don't get angry that much. There's one person, though, in my life who can really light my fuse like that, and that's my son. I call him my biggest guru because I care the most about him, right? And so he can bring out. Because I care so much, all of a sudden, if I see him do something in my mind is not going to serve him, I get upset, right? So I think care. I think just noticing if you are reminding yourself that you care and that it's okay, and it is hard, I think that's the other piece. Being compassionate. Look, give yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up. Come on. Why are you anxious? Just. It's okay. It's really hard right now, so I love that. And then breath work. Talk to me a little bit about what type of breathing works for you. There's so many out there. But I'm curious about. Is there a particular way, Ali, that you've practiced to breathe in those extreme moments?

I do. And this actually helps in cycling performance, too, because. So I do the similar breath work that I do at a high effort in cycling because your heart rate is 185 beats per minute. You're crunched down on a bike, you're going fast, and it. It does set your body into that fight or flight mode, right? Where it's like, it's effort. And I feel that when I'm nervous and scared, too, you know, your. Your heart goes to your top of your throat, you start sweating, you start shaking, you know, all these, like, feelings. So I do big, big belly breaths that aren't attractive. You know, kind of big yoga breathing, just like. And count, like, breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth, and I try to extend my stomach, you know, as far out as possible. That's why I say it's not an attractive look, but it fakes my body into thinking things are okay. And it helped doing a full gas effort on the bike, too. It's just like, everything's okay, you know, we're fine. You have oxygen. And I. I also just like to focus on something, usually while I'm doing that in nature or so, you know, I don't want to be staring at my computer or my phone. I don't want to look at things like movement. I want to be stuck still and just these nice, slow breaths. So nothing fancy, because when I'm nervous, I forget all those fancy things you learn, Right. For me, personally, my brain is getting so fixated on these feelings that it forgets to. To do all these other practices that maybe you. You learn in meditation or. Yeah, just. Just big, calm breaths. Because I do think it. Even though you are scared or nervous, it gives your body the illusion that everything's okay. And then your body starts believing you, right?

Yeah, absolutely. I think it isn't interesting. I always thought about. I've spent a lot of time thinking about breathing and exploring breathing. You know, it's one of the things. It's the first act of human life, and it's the last.

Wow.

Yeah. A baby born, the fight to breathe is the first fight, and the last breath is what stays with it. But isn't it amazing how much of our life we. We are actually unaware we're just breathing unconsciously because we can do that. We can't control our heart rate, consciously change the way we breathe, and through that, modulate our body. But we can with breath, if we can learn to consciously use it as a tool, as you said, to send a different signal to our body, say, it's okay. You know, I think what we can possibly unlock, and yet I'm amazed. You know, we teach people how to do economics, we teach people how to run, we teach people how to do all these things, but we never teach people how to breathe.

That's true. That's true. That's interesting. I just think it's. It's a good way too. It grounds you because when you take, for me, just these big breaths, but, like, I like to, you know, envision it filling up. Like, how big can I fill up? That's why I'm doing these big belly breasts. Like, how big can I fill up my, like, lungs? But it also becomes like being in tune to your body, and that goes back to that grounding. And so if you have other breathing techniques that you think I can remember, I mean, I'll. I'll take them offline, but I will.

Give them to you.

Thank you.

No. I play with so many of them. And there is, you know, so much, frankly, in some of the mystical traditions, I think there is so much power in using breath to also get to such different consciousness states and calming states. Like, it is such a fascinating space. And I really feel if in middle school, because that's when it starts. If we could just teach kids some of these breathing techniques, I think they will need less Drugs.

Yeah, I bet so.

And do self harm because they learn how to use their own breath, to regulate their minds and their own bodies. Yeah, right. And it doesn't take a lot. So there is another phrase that I've heard you talk about, Ali, and I want to talk about that. And it is in the context of this performance and we are in this performance culture and we always go, go, go. And you talk about grit versus grace. How do you know when to push? When do you pull back? It's such a beaut. It's so beautiful. Grit versus grace, it's just an enigma.

In a way, but you can't have one without the other. Right? And grit, to me is a word that it makes me happy. It's kind of, you know, it's dusty, you know, you're just out there in the weeds and the trenches, you know, and cycling, I get all dirty and sweaty. Right. And things like, life is hard. So grit really is about, like, pushing through. And in cycling and in the work world, and I think people glorify those words suffering way too much. Like, oh, I went so hard, you know, suffer, you know, push through it. Suffer, you know, to get to the top. Right. And to me, I don't want that to be grit. But sometimes it is because, like, I think Billie Jean King has a quote that's like, pressure is a privilege. This pressure is a privilege or something like that. And so when we're out there working hard to perform, whether to win a race or to succeed in the work field, and you're like glorifying how hard you're working, like, that's also a privilege that you're able to do that. So this is kind of where grace comes in, into it too, because I'll always push through. And sometimes I will tell you, I have learned that is not the smartest thing to do. Yeah, I don't quit. I will crash and get back up. And people will tell me, I am so strong because I'm bloody and broken. Figuratively. And inside, too. Yeah, like in reality and in figuratively, like, I might be real broken inside. And they're like, you're so strong. You came back from this traumatic brain injury and this and you're bloody and you get back on your bike and. But inside I'm just really broken, you know, and maybe sometimes I shouldn't have pushed through and. And so I don't want to glorify that, but I love having that quality. But sometimes I. Pushing through and that grid isn't always the best option. And that's when grace comes in. Because you will fail. That's inevitable. And sometimes it's good to give yourself that grace. To say, like, you have done enough, like it's okay. Like, give yourself grace. And if you have the space in your heart and mental capacity at the moment, give other selves grace. You know, assuming that they're doing their best as well. Because I think we get caught up in blaming and pushing through. And you know, I struggle with this. Like, I'll sit on the couch. Cause I'm tired, but I'm not doing anything. And so what? What do I do? I beat myself up that I'm not on my bike. I'm not finishing that proposal. I'm. The dishes are still in the sink, you know, the bed's unmade and I'm sitting on the couch. And so I'm not even recovering. I'm so tired I can't do anything. But my mind is not letting me actually recover. And that's like, where. Just a good example to do, Grace. Be like, you are tired. You deserve this time to turn on bad TV or just stare at the wall. And instead of pushing through too sometimes, just to tell yourself that you're enough, like it's enough, like you can rest. Does that make sense?

It totally does. And I see it all the time. Right, people? You know, I wish, frankly. I mean, you are so self aware. But I wish more of us came with like a battery meter. You know, our phones do. Our phones kind of tell us it goes red and it dies. I wish there were more people that had a meter here that showed how drained they are. And it tells you at a certain point, this is a moment you recover and it's okay to recover versus kind of keep getting down into the red red until you crash and burn. Yeah.

And crashes looks different for everyone. Yeah. Like my crashes, I. I get wound up and I like launch into orbit. Like other people want to take a nap. I will just get like hyper staccato frantic.

Absolutely.

And I've learned to try to find those warning signs before I get into that spiral. And like I said, my spiral's not down, it's up.

Yeah.

Which is not productive. But I like your spiral, so that's.

An important one too, right? Yeah. What does your spiral look like?

Yeah, I get overstimulated. You've seen it with me a couple times. I'll just be like, whoa, this is a lot. And then I'll talk too fast or, you know, just launch a launch somewhere. But I did love your point. That with me, I. With the grit versus grace. I don't think you can have one without the other. But I think you said this earlier is just like that sometimes pushing means pulling back.

Yes. You know, and that's something that I struggle with a lot and I also leverage before this episode, you know, before we were talking, I was sharing with you. I really am. I feel really blessed because I really am living my alchemist journey. You know, I truly feel as I pursue my personal legend to eliminate human suffering at work, the universe is just conspiring in mysterious ways to pave the way. And you know, that was a reflection that I had. Pushing versus pulling back. Grit and grace. Grit does require a huge focus on self and trying to push our will, our way forward. I'm also curious in that moment, sometimes we forget to stop and listen to the grace around us and what might be the universe whispering as we are screaming down that we're not hearing. And there might in that moment of pausing be a different way. Another door that is open. But I am so hell bent about going through this door and I'm going to break the door that I'm not seeing that there's this massive other thing that's open that actually might get us faster. Right?

Yeah.

And so I think that is also the element of grit versus grace or grit. And I think is in there if we can constantly push but also pull back and reflect on what's out there. I had an earlier conversation this week, Ali, with somebody who was talking about, you know, being and doing. And you know, we're in a startup. Like I was up till 12am two days ago. Right. That we were having this, I was having by myself. But like earlier that week I was having this conversation, doing versus being. Right. You can have two different things. Yeah, man. If we're always doing, we're not being. And so we have a way of kind of separating these into polarities. But you can be gritty or you can be graceful or you can look at, you know, you can give yourself a break and you, you've integrated them. And that was a little bit of what I said to him. I'm like, my lesson two years ago was stillness in motion. Oh, yeah, right. You can both be doing and being. That's called flow.

Yep.

They don't have to be two different. Grit and grace together is when the power comes.

I love it.

Yeah, right. But we are either too much in grace or too much in grit. Which doesn't help, right?

No, it does not. But there is a balance there is.

A balance and it's a constant practice because you never get there. And that's now you've reached, right, the ideal spot. So look, you know, you've been part of high performing teams. You've been, you know, you've been at the peak. As I said, Team USA World Championships is rarefied air. It's rarefied air and you have through grit and grace, achieved that so many times. Not once. And then I'm done so many times. And you're continuing to do that for others. And you know, and you've done this with, you know yourself, you've been part of high performing teams, you do some, a lot of this amazing work at the business world. Tell me a little bit as we kind of wrap up our episode. Ellie, what's your advice for a leader who wants to bring build a high performing team and a flourishing culture? What advice would you have for them? What are learnings from your sports life and your transition and your business life? What have what might be three pieces of advice you'd give them?

Oh, boy. I think initially it's creating space for curiosity. I think a lot of times we get in trenches of how it's been, how it's, how it should go and to enter a space of curiosity. And it's a non judgmental place of curiosity because you can't be curious if you're judging. So you can't be curious without that grace little pepper shaker in there. Right? Because a leader can be curious how to motivate their team. What does the future of the company look like? You know, who are we today? Where do we want to go? So I think that's my first one would be something around there. Because when you're curious, I think there's, in the nonjudgmental way it's hard to do, especially on yourself. But you then can motivate your team to perform the best you can. Look for the future that could offer a lot of success, but it's gonna have that fluid, fluidity to it because you're not stuck. And number two, like surrounding yourself with people who not only uplift you and give you that grace, but also challenge you. So when you're leading a team, I mean leading a team is all about trust and communication and cycling's actually weirdly enough, a team sport. All of us have different skills. Like I'll compare it to basketball. You know, you have a point guard, you have, that's the only. I don't know, I don't know anything else about basketball. I guess I could do football.

Better position. Do football.

Okay, well, you have like a quarterback, a running back, you know, a linebacker. And in cycling, you got a climber, a sprinter, a domestique. And a domestique is somebody whose only role there is to help the team perform. So with trust and communication and setting up that team, you know, people I think will then embrace their role. And. And also, you don't have to just be a yes person or a no person, but it's finding people that do uplift you and challenge you and. And play to their strengths. I used to have this quote, like, you train your strengths and your weaknesses, but I would, like, race my strengths, because everyone's like, no, you need to work on your weaknesses. I was like, I've got some really good strengths that I'm in a race, but when the cards fall in the wrong place, I better have been working on those weaknesses because I need to pull out that card when I need it. So trust in communication and training. That I don't know. And the last one, I think this is really important to me, and it's taken me a long time to come to terms with it. I can actually say I agree with this, but it's celebrating the progress and not just the outcomes. And I think that's really important. Yeah.

And all the research that focuses. Right. We focus on the gap, not the gain. We forget the journey enjoying. And oftentimes looking at that can be so inspirational and motivating for the team and for yourself.

Yeah.

Allie, my friend, we could talk forever.

I'll have to come back. I would love to talk to you all the time.

You are. You really are amazing. Thank you for sharing your insights from the field and from your life and what you're doing. I am grateful to call you my friend and to get a chance to work with you. Thanks for everything that you do and for being here.

Oh, thank you. You are a treat to know and work with and an inspiration for all. You bring out the best in people.

Thank you, my friends.

That wraps up another episode of the Happiness Squad podcast. We hope you found the insights actionable to enhance your journey towards happiness and fill your life with more joy, health, love, and meaning. Please consider leaving us Review and share the podcast with anyone in your professional or personal life who you feel will benefit from some of these very insights. It's a really simple way to extend support and spread positivity. Take care and remember, happiness is a. A choice that's available to you moment to moment in the here and now. Take care and see you next week.