Embrace Mindful Living

For the longest time, people thought about mind and body as two separate entities. That is an illusion that has completely been discounted by neuroscientists, by psychologists. Right. Like anybody who knows anything about the human body knows body and mind. Right? You can't take care of your body if your mind is unhealthy, and you can't take care of your mind if your body is unhealthy. So there's a very implicit connection. Right. And so I invite people to think about those who are listening. How much time in the day do you spend on ensuring you have a healthy body? For many of them, the answer might be not enough. But even for people who actually have the answer, you know, I do actually work out 30 minutes, 45 minutes. I eat healthy. I say, how much time do you spend on making sure you have a healthy mind? And if the answer is not much.

Hey there friends. Welcome to Happiness Squad. This is the podcast dedicated to helping you unlock your full potential through by mastering the art and science of happiness. We bring on the best leading experts on these topics to help you unlock your true potential and live with more joy, health, love and meaning in your life. Your host is no other than the star combo of Ashish Katari and Anil Ramjiani who are both on a mission to provide you with an unfair advantage to be the masters of your experience and leaders in your industry. Get ready to be moved, challenged and enlightened on this podcast. It may change your life. Thanks for being here and joining the squad.

Hey Happiness Squad, it's Anil here. I'm excited to be with all of you today and honored to be joined with Ashish as we continue to explore his book Hardwired for Happiness chapter by chapter. You know, I connected with Ashish during the COVID lockdowns and our passion for helping individuals unlock their own potential and finding true meaning in their happiness, health, love and life immediately became clear. Ashish and I are on this journey with you and each of his nine practices that he lays out so simply and beautifully I found incredibly powerful. What I find unique is how he takes what he has learned and he shares several exercises in each practice that can literally change your life in just a few minutes a day. To help you lead a more purposeful life, today we continue with practice three. Embrace mindful living. I kid you not. I started feeling great and I finished feeling even better. How often do you find yourself thinking of something other than what you are actually doing? Don't worry if you do, you're not alone. You are like Most people who spend almost half your waking hours distracted. The good news, you can develop that superpower of mindfulness to transform your life and fuel your journey forward. Ashish delves into this space and we have such a beautiful free flow conversation trying to explain what mindfulness is and the benefits that it truly unlocks both in your mind and in your body. I assure you this will reduce your stress, anxiety and those pesky moments of being distracted and bring yourself into that powerful moment where your feet are, that's in the present. So stay tuned because at the end of this cast, Ashish shares a guided gift to convert the mundane to the magical. So join Ashish and I as we walk through how we can hardwire for happiness. Enjoy. Hey Ashish, how's it going?

I am good. Anil, nice to see you again.

Nice to see you too. So we've covered practice one, self awareness. We've covered practice two, purpose, embracing it. Yeah, that was incredible. I mean the amount of things I can take from that immediately and apply it even today. We'll come back to that. But now we're here to talk about practice number three, mindfulness. Now Ashish, before I go further, because this is a topic that maybe our listeners are familiar with or may not be familiar with, I'd just like to kind of maybe. What is mindfulness to you?

Yeah, look, there are so many, you know, meditation, mindfulness, you know, there's so many different definitions out there, right. Everybody has their own definition. And so rather than give you one more definition that people can start to. I'm going to actually give you my favorite definition.

Yes.

Which actually comes from John Kabat Zinn. You know, he was the founder of mindfulness based stress reduction program. He was a doctor who really brought mindfulness into the forefront of at least the American, both the business community, but more importantly the healthcare health community. And he did it beautifully because he recognized the power of mindfulness and how impactful it could be in all sorts of ways in terms of physical, mental, spiritual. And he did something beautiful. He took out everything, quote unquote spiritual. Right. Like things that can throw people off and just put it in as simple of a scientific terms and created a program around that. So I'll give you his definition of mindfulness, which is very close to how I describe mindfulness to people. And it's the awareness that arises from paying attention on purpose in the present moment and non judgmentally. So let me repeat that for our listeners. The awareness that arises from paying attention on purpose in the present moment and nonjudgmentally so let's unpack that a little bit. Right? Let's unpack that.

There's a lot there.

So first I'll bring you to paying attention on purpose. Right. Research by Harvard clearly suggests. Right. That Dan Gilbert studied it, Matthew Killingsworth studied it, and they said a human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy one. 47% of the time we are not paying attention on what's happening here and now. We are either stuck in the past or in the future. So the first element of this is knowing this and saying, how do we actually pay attention on purpose now in the present moment? Okay, so let's talk about the present moment, the beauty of the present moment. And that's what I like about which is unpacked in this definition of mindfulness is every moment can be a mindful moment. A lot of times people say I do mindfulness means I do 10 minutes, 15 minutes, meditation, beginning evening, whatever. Right. But you know, I always say if you're going to spend 15 minutes trying to be mindful and then spend the rest of the day continuously checking your phone or multitasking and not being able to hold attention for more than four minutes at a time, by the way, that's the other data. Right. Which is on average Americans at least check their phones, I think 372 times a day. It's like once every four minutes, every six minutes. Right. So talk about how distracted we are. Right.

So.

What'S the value of mindfulness if you practice it for 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes at the beginning of the day and then you spend the rest of the day constantly, mindlessly, Right. So that's why the second big part in that definition is, you know, in the present moment. So we can make every moment be a mindful moment. We can live our life mindfully. And I think that's the invitation. The third one is the last word. Right. Which is non judgmentally. There's so many people. Two of the most common reasons I hear from people who say I know the benefits of mindfulness, but I don't do it is because they offer two things. Can you guess what those two are? And I invite the listeners to think if these two are present for them.

The first don't have enough time, I.

Don'T have enough time. Right. So we just covered that every moment can be a mindful moment. So I mean, if you don't have enough time to live, that's a different story. But if you're living every moment of those, you don't have to do anything different. Can be a mindful moment. So first, I don't have time. What's the second one?

I don't know how to.

Yeah, I don't know how to. You know, my mind isn't designed for that. It's always running. It never. Thoughts come, you know, and I feel bad. You know, I sit down and my mind is running and I just feel terrible. And you know, nobody likes to do things that make you feel terrible and like a loser. Right? Like I'm a failure. We have enough of those stories anyway. And then, you know, you do mindfulness and like it faces you like, oh my God, right? Like I took five breaths and my mind wandered. So I'm not good at it. So I'm not going to do it. Hence I'm not going to get benefit. And so this is a beautiful part of that definition. Non judgmentally, right? The suspending judgment on what we think mindfulness is. Look, the mind will have thoughts. It's not about having thoughts. And hence you're not mindful. If we are aware, which was in the first part of the definition, awareness that arises if we are aware that our mind has wandered and I can bring it back to my breath or any object that I'm choosing to focus my attention on, that is mindfulness. Right. And so to me, that's why this definition is so beautiful. It's actually my favorite. It is. I like this way more than the definition of the Lama and the Chatna and Deepak Chopra and so many others of mindfulness. Right. It is the awareness that arises from paying attention on purpose in the present moment and non judgmentally.

Do you know what I love about this is it's a matter of saying, and you've actually written it. You know, people don't know how to, or they don't have enough time. And you say the benefit of mindfulness is actually maybe even better than brushing your teeth. And we brush our teeth twice a day. I mean, so then Ashish, you know, knowing that mindfulness is, is valuable and people should quote, unquote, make time to breathe, just maybe help people understand. Like, what are some of those benefits of mindfulness? Like, because again, just as you maybe said alluded to breathing and breathing mindfully as opposed to looking at your cell phone 376time in the day, you know, mindlessly. What are the benefits of just proper mindful practice?

Yeah. So great question, Anil. And I'll cover this and I will cover it briefly just because there is so much that has been written and spoken mindfulness. But I'll just, you know, I'll give this with this analogy, right. I think there is one data that is really, really clear. I think for the longest time people thought about mind and body as two separate entities. That is an illusion that has completely been discounted by neuroscientists, by psychologists. Right? Like anybody who knows anything about the human body knows body and mind, right? They have. You can't take care of your body if your mind is unhealthy and you can't take care of your mind if your body is unhealthy. So there's a very implicit connection. Right. And so I invite people to think about those who are listening. How much time in the day do you spend on ensuring you have a healthy body? For many of them, the answer might be not enough. But even for people who actually have the answer, you know, I do actually work out 30 minutes, 45 minutes, I eat healthy, I say, how much time do you spend on making sure you have a healthy mind? And if the answer is not much, right. Or I don't meditate, or I don't, I'm not mindful, then my invitation is are you really getting the maximum fruits from what you're doing for your body? Because your mind. And if you're not feeling mentally right, you're not taking care of your mind, Mind and body are connected. It's going to show up in your body. You know how it shows up in our body when we feel anxious, what do we do? We eat, we drink, we numb ourselves, all those things, you know, if we can't stick with something, oftentimes it's, it's again our mind. Right? So the benefits from mindfulness are directly linked to actually our overall state of well being. Okay. So I think that's important, really, really important. We, if we want to say we care about being healthy physically, then mentally and spiritually, right? That is at the heart it's always these three things intersecting. So that's really important. It's incredibly powerful. One of the most powerful ways to actually address anxiety and stress and helping actually people even get past their depression. Anxiety, really, really powerful. In fact, in the study done by John Kabad Zinn in the early 2000s, what he found was that when participant went through an eight week mindfulness based stress reduction program, they had much less anxiety, they had much higher positive moods compared to the others. And neuroscientists have studied it. It's one of the practices that has been the most studied practice. In addition to the Practice of gratitude on actually the changes to our brain. It's not that we feel less stressed, we feel less anxious. Our actually brain changes and that's this big notion at hardwired for happiness. And every one of these practices actually rewire our brain. So let me give you a couple of ways in which our brain changes. Our prefrontal cortex, you know, that's the part of the brain that has the rational decision making, right. It increases in thickness and gray matter. Right. Really powerful. It allows us to be able to hold more perspective, to be able to do more complex thinking. You know, our amygdala, you know, we talked about this in one of the original episodes. You know, this is our part of our limbic system responsible for fight, flight, freeze. Our amygdala actually shrinks in size, literally shrinks in size and ill. And also there's a reduction in this connectivity to another part of the brain called the anterior cingulate cortex, which is really involved with self regulation. So there's a reason why people who are mindful are able to regulate themselves better. They have more confidence, they have more optimism. It's tied to actually fundamental neurological changes to our brain. And there are several others. There are several others. People can read about them. You know, they can google it or they can read about it in my book. So the beauty of mindfulness is it has lots of positive outcome oriented benefits, but the bigger power is it's those are coming from fundamental changes in our own brain. We can hardwire for happiness, we can hardwire to build the ability to be more in the present moment.

So Ashish, if we. So personally, I only started meditating maybe just over a year or two ago. Before that, you know, I run, I weight train. And you alluded, you mentioned it too. Hey, how do you look after your body? Oh, I exercise, I go for a run, I do weights, I do tennis. Yeah, maybe people might think, oh, that's actually, you know, me being mindful. That's actually me practicing mindfulness because I'm actually exercising and that's good for both my body. My body and my mind. How would you maybe not to say correct them, but almost have the listeners go, hang on a second. Actually there's a different result or a different outcome from actually practicing mindfulness than doing something you think will give you mind space.

Yeah, look, I mean again, for me, Anil, it's all about, you know, I think mindfulness. I think that, look, there are various ways in which we can practice mindfulness. Specifically mindfulness. Right. Meditation is one of those where we find space in our day to kind of step in, tune inwards. You know, you use some object as the object of your attention, right. To be able to practice it. You can use breath, you can use an object, you can do a body scan. There's so many different ways in which we can, you know, we can bring attention to a mantra as a lot of mind, you know, a lot of as, as, as you can do. But I think the most important piece is, you know, that's just one way that's finding space, you know, if you will, to be, to practice, you know, through meditation. Now there are. Anything that we do in the day, we can actually do it mindfully, right? We can brush mindfully, we can eat mindfully. And so the beauty is it's actually bringing on attention, truly bringing attention to whatever it is that you're doing. Now if you are working out mindfully, that's a very powerful form of mindfulness too. Okay. You're getting two benefits from it. You're obviously getting benefit, the physical benefit from it, but you're really, really with it. You know, a place where personally, in terms of working out, where I get really mindful. And I've noticed that, you know, I'm not a very good swimmer, but when I am swimming, when I emerge from the swimming pool, oh my God, I am feeling so beautiful. You know why? Because when I'm swimming, because I am not as good of a swimmer, all my attention is on my breath. I'm not thinking about the meeting. I'm not thinking about what else I'm going to do. Right now. I'm just trying to survive and make sure that I can breathe and I don't get water in so full attention on breath and it is so peaceful. In fact, you know, believe it or not, if I swim, the calmness in my mind is higher than when I sit down and meditate.

That's crazy. Yeah.

Let me repeat that. When I swim and I emerge from the swimming pool, the presence of calmness in my brain and how I feel is higher than when I sit and meditate. And you know, I've done a 10 day silent meditation retreat I've done. I've been practicing mindfulness for the last six years. I regularly, every morning meditate for 45 minutes to 60 minutes. Right. It's much higher. Because, you know, singularly in that moment in the pool, all I'm focused on is my breath.

Yes.

And just being able to breathe because it's so critical for survival.

Yeah.

Yes, it is. We are not fish you know, and as I just. The reason why I want to just stay on this for just another minute. So I picked up swimming, and I totally agree with you. When I calm my mind, if I notice if I've got things on my mind and I try to swim, I have to stop every lane and just pause and just calm my mind. And then I realized as soon as I start focusing on the breath. But when I go for a run, I listen to podcasts, I listen to music, and I kind of. I truck along and feel great. But there have been runs where I actually tried to practice mindful running, where I'm actually looking at my surroundings. This past weekend, I went for a run in the heath in London, and it was a beautiful sun with the leaves all around. And I actually had to stop and take a picture and send it to my wife because it just so beautiful that I wanted to take it in. And I think maybe that's what I'm gathering from you is it's. It's not just losing yourself in the actual moment, it's also taking in the moment and reflecting on what's around you. Like even the sound of the water when you're breathing out as you swim, or the sound of the leaves when you. Or the dirt when you, you know, when you're tapping the ground as you run. It's just those moments are incredibly powerful and they're full of so much meaning. And I say I get joy from that.

Yeah. And what you're alluding to is another side effect, Anil, that you get from being mindful, right? Which is when we are mindful, we can truly savor. And by being mindful, transform the mundane into magical.

Let's repeat that.

When you are mindful, it allows you to truly savor the moment. And through that, transform the mundane into the magical. Yeah.

Yes, yes.

It is so powerful, Right. I mean, we go through life in a rush, right? Even the safe payment, right? Like when you run, like that moment of really experiencing every bit, every one of them, nothing is the same. You know, there's this beautiful saying, right, which is, a man never crosses the river twice because it's not the same man and it's not the same river.

Yes.

But we go through life, even if it is the same path you drive down, you're not the same person. That path is not the same. Everything is changing. But we say, oh, yeah, it's the same as usual. And we just miss it. We just miss it. But through savoring, what it does is you can start to appreciate and it activates the other practice of gratitude because our blessings are all around us. Every step we are being showered by the blessings. Blessings of sight, sound like things that people have done, how things are. And like mindfulness really allows us to feel all that, like constantly feeling the support. Can you imagine just with me, close your eyes and just bring that right to your. Like, even in this podcast that we're recording right now, think about how many people have created and contributed to this. You know, we've obviously got Jay and her team are developing. There is like the people who made it the Internet possible, zencastr and the folks that we are recording on. I mean, we didn't even know about this. And so easy to for it to be recording. The person who made the microphone, you know, the people who helped me put this book together, the 500 plus books that I read, who helped me learn everything, you know, Milan, who connected me to you. We didn't know each other a year ago, right?

Absolutely.

I mean, if you start thinking I'm sitting on this table and this table is amazing, otherwise I don't know, I would have been standing or something else. But I'm so comfortable, you know, being able to sit. It's these little, you know, it's just a conversation we are having. But there is, you know, I have this photo beautifully, photo of my wife and I on our first black tie dates that we went on.

Oh, nice. Love it.

And I'm looking at that. You know, I have a lamp in front of me that she gifted me for one of my birthdays and it's so beautiful. There's a beautiful flower that a friend gave to me when he came for my book launch. I mean, you know, I sit here all day and as I think about this and as I'm talking about this with the listeners, my invitation is, look around you see what are all these things that you're surrounded with right now, here and now? Bring attention mindfully, bring awareness to all of that and just notice what you feel inside. Just notice. We are so focused all the time on things that actually, you know, are troubling, things that we're not happy about. Just bring attention to all that we have. It'll change. It'll change your life.

I mean, love it.

Are you enjoying the show so far? Let me ask you a few questions before going back. Have you ever wondered why so many of us struggle with stress, anxiety and burnout and feel stuck in life? Heck, maybe you're going through this right now. Well, the reason for this lies in the evolutionary biology of our brains, which are hardwired for fear. It's part of the reason why our team named this podcast Happiness Squad. It serves as a reminder that happiness is what really matters and that we are in this together. And that is why we are so excited to share with you a resource to help you on your journey. One of our hosts, Ashish Guattari, launched a book Hardwired for Happiness and it is a 1Amazon Best Seller. When you get access to this book, you will discover nine secular practices that can change your life and are backed by scientific evidence from psychology and neuroscience. Learn how you can integrate Hardwired for Happiness practices in every part of your life to unlock your best self, regardless of how busy you are. Shift from knowing to doing to being with a range of journaling, meditation and group coaching exercises and so much more. Go to www.happinesssquad.combook to get access. Right now we also have bonuses on the page that you don't want to miss. Once again, www.happinessquad.com book and now back to the show.

This is maybe now I want to bring it to meditation. And we were blessed to have Manish with us a few weeks back. And I'm excited for folks, if you've not listened to that cast already, you need to. It was brilliant. I want to dive a little bit more into the practice of meditation because what you've done in this practice, Ashish, is you've not only gotten people to think about mindfulness, but then also how they sit, how they breathe, how they almost just let that session take, quote, unquote, take over. And I wanted to ask you just, you know, there are people who are picking up headspace and there are people picking up meditation like, you know, on the line. What is the importance of how they sit and position themselves when they conduct this practice? And because I'm not going to say one meditation is better than the other or different, I know Manish had a real strong point of view and I really respect and love it. Just even the basics of sitting when they practice meditation, why is it so important?

Yeah, look, I think, as I said, I think you can practice mindfulness without sitting down to meditate, right? You can be mindful outside. But I do think if you are just by breathing, just by focusing on breathing. But if you want to be, if you really want to truly make this into a core skill, you can't do it without also a formal sitting practice. Right? It, I mean, it's, it's. One alone is not enough. Okay. You Sit and meditate. Unless you're going to be all in like Manish. Right. And decide to spend two hours every day meditating. Because if you do that, you're fundamentally changing how you are for the rest of the day. If you're going to do five minute meditation, ten minute meditation, just. That is not enough. It is not enough. But if you just say I'm going to be mindful throughout the day, just that without the formal meditation is not enough. Because that formal 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, what you're doing in that time is training your mind consciously, right? To focus on attention. Yes.

Yes.

So there are two or three things that I think are really, really important. Look, I think there's a lot of different postures, things of that nature. I think the two or three things that I would highlight as the most important is, look, first of all, it doesn't like. Yes. It is not powerful if you sit with your legs crossed in a lotus position. Right. But if, you know, your legs hurt. My. I know my mom meditates and her legs hurt. My legs hurt too. It's okay, just sit on a chair. What's. It doesn't matter, Right. You have to be eased and relax.

Yes.

Because you know what, if your body is tight, if body is uncomfortable, where's your mind going to go?

Everywhere else.

It's going to go to make yourself well. It's going to go to your point. That's painting you, right? My back hurts. My legs are not. You know, you're going to be focused on kind of removing that discomfort. You won't have, have.

You'll have that. That's distraction.

That's not what you want, right? That's not what you want. Exactly. I think second, just from an energetic flow point of view, I do think this is important that your back is straight. Now you can have your back straight lying down too. But oftentimes people, if you haven't meditated a lot before, if you have, if you're lying down, the chances are you might fall asleep. So I think just keeping our back straight, it also results in energetic flow around, you know, in our body. So I think as long as your back is straight, I don't care actually where your legs are. If you sit down on a cushion or if you sit on a chair, it's fine. Leg straight, I think is an important one. I think the third thing that I would highlight is I'll talk a little bit about eyes. Yes, right. The power of eyes. Closing our eyes or gently dimming them and putting them a Little bit in front of you can be very powerful because implicitly, you're reducing the stimulus that's going in. Right? We sense the world using our five senses. So if you find a space that is quiet, so you've taken care of the auditory, you're hearing. And as long as you find a space that allows you kind of really, you know, either you close your eyes or you dim them, it'll allow you. It'll increase your ability, right, to be able to tune inwards. Okay. There's a lot of other pieces around keeping your shoulders relaxed, your mouth, jaw, etc. I'm like, for those who are just trying to start this, I think it's fine. Sit on a chair, put your feet down, keep your back erect, gently close your eyes. That itself is enough of a space that you're creating that allow you to tune inwards. And then I can focus on my breath as the simplest one, right? Focus on your breath and just focus on as simple. There's nothing that needs to be done. Just focus and notice breathing in. Notice what happens when you breathe in. You can feel your belly expand, you can feel your chest expand. And then, you know. Notice what happens when you breathe out. Right? Just be with that sensation. That's it. If you feel that your mind is wandered, bring it back to that sensation. Now, for those who might deal with ADHD or like anxiety, et cetera, sometimes, rather than this, a walking meditation might be more powerful because that act of walking and focusing on things, how your feet land, et cetera, can be quite powerful. So I think there are different ways in which, even depending on what condition you're in, I think this can be really, really powerful. But I think that's all it is. And it's those three things that I would highlight. Be relaxed, keep your feet. You can sit on a chair or you can sit on a cushion, back erect, eyes slightly closed, and a focus on something as simple as breath. Any object can be actually a focus. You can have breath, you can have an apple, you can have something you hold in your. You can even actually have a mantra in your thought. It is a thought, right? You're repeating. So in my book, I talk about this one powerful mantra I picked up from my guru, you know, Sadhguru, who I trained with. I did a Shambhavi Kriya with him, and he has this very powerful practice of I'm not my body, I'm not even my mind. You know, it's a mantra you're repeating as you're kind of focusing on your in breath and outbreath. Anything can be an object of focus. And that's it. It is nothing more complicated. And I would start with a minute and then I would slowly expand to 5 minutes and 10 minutes and 15 minutes and longer. As long as you can. And look for many, if you do it, you know, for the two hours, as Manish talked about, huge impacts. I've done the vipassana meditation, but we live in so much of a world of all or nothing. And I'm like, this is not all or nothing practice. Even a minute of being mindful can be beneficial to you. So don't, don't hold yourself back from it.

You know, I want to linger a little bit longer on meditation before we move forward. And that is just around what you would call attitudes of mindfulness. Now, from my side, when I meditate, I have to gently bring my thoughts back. I have to remind myself, breathe in, breathe out. Why? Because my brain wants to be in the past, it wants to be in the future, everywhere else, except for in the present. And all those voices start kind of speaking all at once at you and throwing things out at you. So I think maybe the three that we've got are non judging, acceptance and adopting a beginner's mind. Could you, could we just dive into this briefly, Ashish, and maybe share with our listeners who meditate, you know, but they struggle from that and they wonder, what do I gotta do? You know, what do these mean? Why are they important to me?

Yeah, absolutely. And I'll talk about why these three, you know, So I discovered these through the work of John Kabad Zinn and he actually identified seven of them. But through all my work, working with others, teaching them meditation practices, doing this with my clients, these are the three that are what I call the biggest things we fall into all the time. So I wanted to kind of highlight that. So let's talk about it. Non judging. We already talked about it, right? We are always making sense. We are always judging ourselves. Is this a good practice? This is not a good practice. Oh look, your mind watered. You can't focus. That's the point of like non judgment, right? We just truly have to suspend that. That is not a good meditation. Not a bad meditation. If you are meditating, you're choosing to be mindful that that is, you know, that's it, right? So suspending judgment. The second one is acceptance. Right? Look, you know, there are days and you know, I, by the way, people can measure this. So there is a. There is, I use this product called Use Once. Every, you know, two, three days, it's like a headband that truly measures your brain activity.

Anil.

Right. So you can truly sense what. What brain pattern you're in. Right. And you sit and it has. It's beautiful. It's a great product. I highly recommend people who are digitally, you know, who like data. It's a great toy.

Go for it.

Put it on. Because it. Really. Go for it. Right. But I'll tell you what I notice. There are days when, you know, I'm at 85% calm. Okay, 85%. Amazing. Love those days. Goes back to the judging thing. You know, there are days when my brain is at 10%, 15%. There's just a lot of activity.

I just want to know what happens on those days.

Right, Exactly. Well, you know, I know. I'll tell you what happens. You know, it's this notion of the sky. If you look at the sky, the sky is always blue. Sometimes there are clouds, sometimes they're dark. Sometimes it's clear. Today is a clear day. There is not a cloud. I'm looking outside. I live in Boulder. We're luckily blessed with lots of sun.

That's just beautiful, Colorado. That's just beautiful, Colorado, man.

But today, there's not a single cloud in front of me. Right. So that's just the nature of our mind, too. Sometimes our mind is very active. There is a lot that is being processed in the unconscious mind, and sometimes there isn't. So just accepting the state that we find ourselves in. Because again, if you describe mindfulness as I am going to bring attention to my breath or to the object of my focus, and I'm going to notice when I have lots of thoughts, and I'm going to bring it back. I'm going to notice, and I'm going to bring it back. That is mindfulness. Who said mindfulness was about having no thoughts? That's just a story. That's just a story. I'm going to use the quality of having no thoughts in my mind as the judging of, am I a good meditator? Is this a good meditation? Right. So that's what it's about. Accepting. Accepting the present in the way just it is. This is where my mind is today. This is where I am. Right. That's the second. And the third is adopting a beginner's mind. And the power of that is you take every moment as a new moment. You know, it's tied into these other two. Right. You don't come in today, and, well, yesterday I was at 55% calm. So today it should be 60% calm.

Yes.

Oh my God. I'm not making progress, right? So that's what I mean by beginner's mind. It is just be, you know, every, every meditation, every moment, every day that you choose, that's a fresh moment, that's a fresh day. That's it. So I think those are the three I think that oftentimes people struggle with. They feel that this is a linear journey they should keep going on. They feel that I should have a clear mind as a meditator's mind. And if it's not a clear mind, then that's not good, you know, and that's constant fighting, you know, between, you know. In fact, one of the biggest takeaways that I had, it was so beautiful. You know, a lot of our suffering, right? If you look at Buddhist texts, they say, you know, it's suffering comes from ignorance of the fact that nothing is constant. Everything is changing. So every moment is a new moment. We forget that and we are craving and we are averse. We're chasing things we, quote, unquote, want to be like. So I want to be calm and thoughtless. And I hate it when I have thoughts, right? Think about it constantly. I want calmness. That's the story a lot of people have. And one of the things in Vipassana that I purchased, they said, you know what? If you are that way, then you're not. Then you're basically, you know, you're not getting the benefits. Because implicitly, even in meditating, you're trying to go for one state versus the other. So just fall into whatever is, whatever is. Accept what it is. Don't judge yourself. And every time you sit down to meditate, think about it as a new thing. It's the first time you're doing it.

I love that. I. And I'll tell you, there are days where I feel like I have a better meditation than another. Whether I had good sleep the night before or something, I'm not feeling well. But what I'll. What, what I do, 100% agree with you on all of it, is they are each their own session. I'm just grateful that I'm sitting down to do it. And one, one thing I found quite useful, and this is for the, for our listeners. I actually at times meditate with my wife. You know, she finds that it's easier for her to sit down and do it. Even if she doesn't do it for the full duration, she does it. And it's like it's almost having that, that Partner to do it with my sister. She actually at times does it on weekends with a meditation circle who are all over the world. Yes, Right.

It's very powerful. Right. The coherence that you get from all kind of sensing into the field can be very, very powerful. Anil. So that's what you're alluding to. So, yeah, I mean, if we want to actually, you know, and by the way, it's the same as physical activity. Right. If you do it with a partner, if you do it with somebody else, higher chances that you're going to show up. So this notion of a community and sangha as a way to strengthen our practice is a very, very powerful one. But, my friend, I'm just thinking, why don't we actually, you know, we can talk a lot. It's a little bit like, you know, I can talk about you and I can talk about chocolate.

Yes.

And I can try and describe what a chocolate is to you. But if you've never actually tasted chocolate, you know, there is no substitute to actually tasting chocolate.

I wholeheartedly agree.

So why. Right. So why don't we. Why don't I walk you through a guided meditation and maybe the listeners can follow along if they are in a safe space. Please don't close your eyes if you're driving.

No, it's true.

Or if you're like walking in the middle and you decide. Right. But like, if you are in a place or you can always come back to this episode, let me just walk you through a very short meditation that I personally love. It's made a big difference for me and I've shared this with C Suite executives, frontline workers, and it's, you know, the feedback has been amazing on the impact of it. So why don't we just experience it together?

I would love that. Let's do it.

Yeah, great. So for this one, as I mentioned, you can do it anyway. You can do it standing or sitting or lying down, but, you know, I would invite you just sit on your chair. If you're sitting somewhere, find a place. Just plant your feet and make sure your spine is straight. Your head, just keep it relaxed, if you will. You can even, you know, point it slightly upwards. Keep your eyes either close them or just gently dim them. And then just start with three breaths, just breathing in. Let the breath fill your chest, your belly, feel it expand and breathe out. Take another deep breath and as you exhale, just relax. Take a third deep breath. And as you exhale, just allow yourself to relax completely. Now we're just going to Shift to just breathing as you usually do. No need to change anything. Just breathe at your regular pace. Just notice your in breath, notice your out breath. No need to change anything, no need to manipulate, just follow it. Follow your breath. As you continue breathing at this pace, I just invite you to bring attention to your feet. Feel the ground, support them, feel held. You might even imagine little roots going from the bottom of your feet into the earth, nourishing you, holding you. This is the dimension of stability. Those days when you feel unsure of your step, when you feel unsure of yourself, know that this dimension is always available for you. Plant your feet and it is there. It is holding you. Keep breathing. As you shift your attention now to the top of your head, you can almost imagine a little string pulling your head up straight. Expand into your length. Stretch into your length. It's your dimension of dignity. It's a dimension that reminds you that you are enough just as you are. No need to do anything. You are good just as you are. You are worthy just as you are. You are loved just as you are. Those days when you feel like not enough, stretch into this dimension. Breathe into it, even three breaths so you can sense into your dimension and be in your own dignity. As you keep breathing, expand into your breath. Bring attention to your shoulders. This is your dimension of connection. As you connect, bring to mind all those in your life who are a part of you. Your family, your friends, your colleagues, people in your community. Those days when you feel lonely, alone. Breathe into this dimension and know that you're not alone. That know you are intricately weaved into the social fabric of the world. You are human. You are nature. You are the universe. And finally, as you keep breathing, bring your attention to your back. Lean backwards. We spend so much of our times leaning forward. And this is the dimension of wisdom. It's the dimension that holds all the lessons life has taught you through your successes, but through your trials, through your failures. Those moments you fell down and you picked yourself up. Know that all that wisdom is with you, here and now, and is accessible. When you feel unsure of where to go, you can always tune inwards into this dimension to seek answers. Breathe in, breathe out. And with the next four breaths, touch each of these dimensions again. Feet, stability, Length, dignity. Width. Connection. And depth. Wisdom. Take one more deep breath and start to slowly open your eyes and come back into the present and stay with that awareness. Stay with that feeling. Yeah. So that was five minutes.

That was incredible.

How does that make you feel?

I mean, calm, just relaxed, Just. I mean, like I said, it's such an incredible feeling. You know, it's interesting when you. When you actually, even. Even talked about the feet, I actually felt the tingle on the underside of my feet when you were talking about kind of like, let. Let the roots just kind of give you that stability. And it just. Yeah, from. And then when I finish from top to bottom, I just feel calmer in my mind. So, yeah, from top, I just feel amazing. I hope the listeners feel the same way.

Yeah, yeah. Look, meditation and mindfulness more broadly has been a big gift in my life. And every time I make the space to tune into silence, to tune inwards, I am so grateful for it because the rest of the hours just, I'm more productive, I'm calmer, I make better decisions, I am more confident. And I really invite the listeners to set an intention to just practice being mindful again, meditate. That's fantastic. But even if we bring the mindful energy for the first minute to anything that you're doing, you will notice your experience of that moment change from the mundane to the magical. As I said before, every moment, every.

Moment, that next bite, that next walk, that next look at the sky.

Yeah.

Do you know, Ashish, there is a quote you have in the book on page 95, and I want to share it with the listeners. It's from Rumi. Look past your thoughts so you may drink the pure nectar of this moment. So simple, but just so powerful. I mean, what we just did in five minutes. But even if what you can do in that moment where you're taking that bite of that meal or you're giving someone you love a hug, just that moment of just being in that being present where your feet are beautiful.

Yeah. Well, thank you for letting me share that and participating in that with me and Il, hopefully some of the listeners had a chance to do it with us collectively. If not, I invite you to, you know, find a moment in your day to just give yourself that gift and you can come back to it anytime. You can play it and have others in your team do this together with you. But it is my wish that mindfulness, you know, goes from only 15% of people who practice meditation and mindfulness, that through this work, that that number shifts to maybe only 15% don't do it, but 85% of it, because a mindful world is a kinder world. It's a more confident world. It is a happier world. It's a healthier world. And I think we can truly, you know, start our journey into creating my world by taking our first Step on this path of mindfulness. Thank you, Ashish. Yeah. And this is something, by the way, I'm really excited because many schools are introducing this now already in, you know, elementary school, my son's school, they started with this when they were in second and third grade. I discovered meditation when I was 42. So, you know, I'm trying to make up for those lost time. But I think the earlier we start introduce our kids to these simple practices of meditation and mindfulness, I think we have an opportunity to fundamentally shape a very different generation that is not stressed, that is not anxious, that is not dealing with so many of the mental health challenges that we are right now.

My sister actually has my 12 year old nephew meditate, even just for a couple of minutes, especially when he feels anxious. And let's be honest, the pressure that kids feel at certain ages, whether because of sport, because of school, because of their friends, anything, I think this is just something that if it works for us, why wouldn't it work for kids? So I think it's powerful that Ashwin's school actually uses it. I think it's powerful. Brilliant.

Yeah.

Ashish, from my side, I just want to say thank you. I'm grateful for you as always. I, I felt what you just left us with. And this, this guided meditation, there's so much more in the book I encourage folks. I mean I literally treat this, it's on my nightstand. Right. If there's any time I need a guided meditation, he. There's several. Anytime I need another exercise I can do to just remind myself of where I am or, you know, what I want to be. Ashish, thank you.

Yeah, look, it's my pleasure. It's my pleasure, Anil. And it just really does please my heart. I mean I hear these stories every day and it really pleases my heart that this is helping people. I think, as you know, this is my mission in life is to touch a billion people and truly help them hardwire for happiness so we can actually create a healthier, happier world filled with people with more love and meaning. I think this is the only way out versus the world where there is so much fear and we are creating outcomes based on that fear. So no, thank you for. I love the conversation. It's always such a delight to connect with you and to our listeners. Look, you can check out our website. You can go there. There's tons of resources there for you that you can access. But thank you for listening and hopefully you find a moment today to be mindful every time you breathe, every time you breathe. Every breath is an opportunity to be mindful.

Take care.

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