Rewiring Your Life Using the MAGIC Formula for Happiness with Brian Dubow

30 minutes of exercise three times per week is more impactful than the leading antidepressants on the market. I know so many people are just looking for that quick fix. I know so many people in America are struggling. How do we fix this? This is it. Magic? Is it?

Welcome to the Happiness Squad Podcast. Your weekly dose of practical tips and inspiration to help you operate at your fullest potential, integrating the science of flourishing into how you live, work and lead. I'm your host, Ashish Kothari, the founder and CEO of Happiness Squad and author of the best selling book Hardwired for Happiness. I will be your personal guide on your journey to explore the many facets of happiness, well being and flourishing, from personal growth to building more positive environments at work. In each episode we will share powerful insight tips, tips and stories from our guests who are leading experts, company executives and flourishing solution providers that you can implement right away to make happiness your competitive edge. Whether you're looking to overcome life's challenges, to go from good to great, or to enhance your team's performance through flourishing, this podcast is the place for you to find more joy, health, love and meaning in everything you do. Join us every week as we rewire for happiness together. Want to turn your life from the mundane to the magical? In today's episode of the Happiness Squad podcast, we're joined by Brian Dubo, founder of Head of Happiness. Brian transformed his own life by choosing happiness and now helps others do the same. He's a certified Happiness trainer and a former consultant from PricewaterhouseCoopers. His company was born out of a desire to make a difference during the COVID 19 pandemic and has grown into a thriving community podcast blog and a vibrant coaching business. In this episode, we delve into transformative power of the magic framework that he created. MAGIC stands for mindfulness, activity, gratitude, inspiration and connection. Brian shares his own journey from corporate consulting to becoming a happiness advocate and discusses how small, intentional practices can dramatically improve your well being. In this episode, we'll explore the benefits of incorporating mindfulness physical activity into your daily routine, the power of gratitude and inspiration to elevate your mood, and the importance of building meaningful connections in an increasingly digital, lonely world. Friends, this episode is filled with so many practical tips that you will want to implement right away that you want to stay all the way till the end. I'm so excited to share the wisdom of Brian in this episode with you, so let's get to it. Hey Brian, it is so lovely to have you with us on the Happiness Squad, my friend.

It's so good to be here. Ashish, this is a long time in the making. I'm excited for this conversation.

You know, Brian, you and I had a chance to meet, you know, almost about probably a year ago, and we started talking. It was actually a complete happenstance because I'd reached out to Tal Ben Johar to say, hey, are there any graduates from your happiness studies academy that would be interested in joining Happiness Squad and helping us kind of take the offering that we've got to clients and around the same time. Right. Complete, I'd say. You know, I don't believe in happenstances, but talk about wonderful, inspired moment. You reached out to me and we started talking and since then we've been collaborating. So I've been meaning to have you over to share a little bit around the amazing human you are, the great work that you're doing, and also like the story of kind of where we're going with our listeners. So thank you. I'm glad we are talking today. So listen, you know, before you started and you and I started collaborating on Happiness Squad, you actually were the founder of a company called Head of Happiness. I can see the logo at the back the there. I'm curious about what motivated you to start that company and you know what Head of Happiness is all about.

Yeah. So motivated me to start the company was honestly just following my curiosity. I didn't know I was starting a happiness company when I first followed the happiness route. So a little bit about my background as. Sheesh. Similar to you, I was in consulting at one of the big four accounting firms. You were obviously at McKinsey. And I learned a lot. It was a great experience. But a few years in, I just wasn't feeling a great sense of purpose or meaning. And I started wondering what else is out there? Like, there's a job for everyone. There's a way to find purpose in anything we do. I was looking for that. I was looking for that excitement. I was looking for something else. So that led me on this journey to start just having conversations with all types of people, reaching out for coffee, chats with entrepreneurs, executives, athletes, artists. Like everyone you can imagine being like, what's working for you? Like, is what makes your life meaningful, what makes you feel alive, what makes you happy. And one of the most inspiring chats to me, and you brought up Dr. Tal Ben Shahar, who is a doctor and professor out of Harvard. I grabbed coffee with him. It was so nice of him to be willing to grab coffee. I thought he'd give me about 15 minutes of his time. We chatted for over two hours, and by the end of it, I was like, whatever Kool Aid this guy's drinking, I want to drink that Kool Aid too. So he convinced me at that point to sign up for a program to become a certified happiness trainer and coach. So that was a one year deep dive into the science of happiness. Learning what actually makes us happy versus what we think makes us happy. But more importantly for me, it was a year of being extremely intentional with my happiness and coming to that awareness that happiness is a choice, and it's a direct choice based off of our actions. It's not an easy choice, but through things like exercising, meditating, journaling the things we know we all should do, I started to see dramatic impacts to my energy, even while still working in that consulting job. So it made me realize the consulting job was not the problem. It was my internal state. And so a year later, my happiness probably went from something like 3 or 4 out of 10 to an 8 out of 10. Still working the same hours, still working on the same clients. It was like, oh, wow, happiness is an inside job. And if this can work for me, why can't this work for other people? So at this point, I still had no intention of, like, starting a whole business, but I did start coaching on the side. It's like this. Like, I've learned something. I know I can help other people. Let me pick up a few coaching clients to just find some more meaning in my day to day. And one thing led to another, Ashish, where that inspired me to start a blog, that inspired me to start a podcast. And I just thought I was starting a lifestyle brand. I just thought I was, you know, I had knowledge to share that I thought could make people happier, make people feel a greater sense of purpose, something sense of meaning. And especially when Covid hit, that's when the blog really took off. Where, you know, everyone was. I looked around and everyone was stressed, depleted, anxious. I was like, you know what? I have tools that can really help people. And so I started posting about reframing your reality. And instead of seeing Covid as, like, the world is ending, see it as, this is your genius time. You know, like, like, take advantage of this additional time that you were given. And, like, how can you make an impact on the world? Because if we look back at other crises, like the 2008 financial crisis, amazing things came out of that, Uber came out of that, Airbnb came out of that. How can you, you know, seize this moment and, you know, everything just Spiraled from there. I switched my job to human capital strategy at PwC when Covid and I was like, I know there's a need for happiness in the workplace. I get to start leading workshops eventually for entire markets, 2,000 plus people. And at that point I said, okay, there's a business here that was my MVP or my proof of concepts. And I was like, if this can work at PwC, why can't this work anywhere? I'm going to figure out what this business is. And at that point I got my MBA and I built out what is now a coach, happiness coaching and corporate consulting business. And I also teach a class at.

UCLA and we're partnering at bringing rewire and happiness programs to so many different clients. I'm excited to see you next week.

That's exactly right. So most importantly, Ashish and I are collaborating to take our energies and our outlooks on the world to to really help the corporate world and the entrepreneurial world. Really everyone we can touch find that inside that happiness. That's as I said, is an inside job. I think it's so easy to get caught up in the blame game or blame the environment and be like, oh, when I get the promotion, I'll be happier. When I get the house, I'll be happier, whatever. Externally it's the inside job. And that's what Ashisha really and I are really collaborating.

Yeah. And you know Brian, in what you shared, I mean it is so powerful. I think I am kudos to you for number one being curious and following that curiosity thread which is so important. And I think the second one is the courage to recognize and leave something that is a stable job, to truly live a life of service, to help others share what you have. Because friends, a lot of people think yes, happiness is about punching out and doing less and like oh, you know, do you like. But the reality is, I think what you said, Ryan, with the Science of Happiness, I had the same experience my last five years at McKinsey. I got more done between 9am to 6pm than I used to get done between 6am to 9pm Right. Let me repeat that. I got more done between nine to six. So that's about nine hours than it used to take me between six to 9:15. And that's the level of productivity performance that is possible. Right. That's the level of time that you can free up either to do other things that you want to do or to get even more done and make more progress in whatever your goal is performance and health and well being. Don't have to be an either or story. If you want to climb up and you want to achieve great things, you have to do it at the sacrifice of well being. And if you want to focus on your well being and health, then you know, you need to take less stress job, you need to take more time off, et cetera. It's not true. In fact, if you look at the science of happiness and well being, well being, high level of well being leads to high levels of performance. And it's all about habits and practices that we build. It's the reason we created Rewire, which is at the heart of it, a habit formation program that over a period helps people build habits that help them be happier, be adaptable, be more resilient, be healthier, et cetera, et cetera. So we'll talk a bit about that towards the end of the podcast. But Brian, I wanted to actually get into. You've created a couple of frameworks yourself. One's called Magic, one's got Inspire. Talk to us a little bit around Magic and I would love on this podcast to get into the specifics of what that is and how through that you can really live your best life day to day.

Absolutely. Thank you for bringing that up, Ashish. So I kind of see happiness 2 faceted. There's that over a period of time, you know, looking at your past three months, has it been meaningful? Has it been purposeful? Do you feel good about it? That's my inspired framework, which is happiness over time. But there's also my magic framework which is our day to day emotional state. And in a perfect world, you want to feel more positive than negative emotions in a given day. And I say more positive than negative emotions as opposed to you want to feel great all day. Because as you all know, no one's happy all the time. I can be happy when I wake up, I can be crying in the shower and then I can be happy again on this podcast. So happiness is absolutely a roller coaster. But we can hedge ourselves. And that's where the science of happiness and habits come in. That can really help. Instead of our bad days being a 1 out of 10, they can be a 6 out of 10. And our good days instead of being 6 out of 10 can be a 10 out of 10. So that's where I believe the science of happiness comes in. And so magic is this framework that I developed for five things that I recommend everyone does every single day that can make every day better, that can help them be happier, really experience the magic of happiness. So what does Magic stand for mindfulness activity, gratitude, inspiration and connection. Mindfulness activity, gratitude, inspiration, connection. You could do all of these things in about 30 minutes if you want. And I promise you, I've seen this with tons of clients I've worked with. It makes a dramatic difference in your day. And it's all just about the intentionality to do these things. And I actually have a program called 66HAP which is about doing these things for 66 days. There's various studies on habits, but one study shows that it takes on average 66 days to form a habit. So if you do magic for 66 days, by the end of it, the things that are scientifically proven to make you happier will just be a part of your life, they will be a habit. And then you don't have to think about happiness. Then you will just be happiness which allows you to excel, as Ashish was saying, in every other dimension of your life.

Well, and I think what's beautiful is, I think that is a, you know, if you think about magic, the reason it also resonated, if you look at friends, your day to day lived experience, just for a moment, stop, step back and ask yourself that question. How would you describe your day to day experience of life? Would you describe it as magical? Would you describe it as mundane? Would you describe it as busy? What would you describe it as? Right. And the beauty of these five practices that Brian very creatively created. Magic. I love the word magic because it is magic can help you turn the mundane into magical. We live our life from minute to minute, hours to hours, days to days, weeks to week. Right? So we can stop chasing the vacation when we are going to feel happy and excited and rested. These practices can help you truly bring magic in, how you're experiencing your life every day. So you can have a magical life as you look all the way forward. Right? That's the beauty. Turning the mundane into magical. Really smelling the roses, enjoying the walk up the mountain, versus realizing, oh my God, I got to the top and I never actually saw all the scenery around me. And now it's time to go down. So let's take each one of them and break them down. Brian. So let's start with m Mindfulness and meditation. I think a lot of people already know about why mindfulness and meditation is good for us. What I am curious about in this conversation is as part of some of the programs that you're running, how are you helping people build habits around it? Because I don't think we can go into the science of meditation, but I think most people know it by now, but they don't practice as something gets in the way. So what are some two, three ways in which you've helped people build a habit of mindfulness?

Absolutely. So you're absolutely right. People know they should be meditating, but they say, I don't have time to meditate. And I like to say you don't have time not to meditate or not to be mindful. But how do we make this easy? Because the idea, when you've ever meditated, of sitting still for five minutes, let alone two minutes, is scary. You know, sitting with your thoughts or whatever. So I like to start with, what does five mindful minutes in your morning look like? You know, I know probably 90% of people listening to this podcast start their day by checking their phone. They probably use their phone as their alarm clock. And as soon as they, they turn off their alarm clock, they're then scrolling through their emails, they're scrolling through their texts, maybe even social media. The moment you check your phone, you're acknowledging the world's to do list for you as opposed to your own to do list for you. You're, you know, acknowledging someone else's priorities for your day as opposed to your own priorities for the day. So my number one recommendation for happiness and mindfulness is, can you first of all get an alarm clock so you don't use your phone to wake up every morning? They cost about 799 on Amazon and I promise it'll change your life. And second, take three to five mindful minutes of just being with your thoughts first thing in the morning. So much beauty comes through your subconscious when you sleep, and you may be amazed by what you think about first thing when you wake up, when you're not constantly distracting yourself. And that could be as simple as have a cup of coffee and drink the cup of coffee and taste what the coffee tastes like. It can be as simple as going for a walk with your dog. It can be as simple as 30 seconds of brushing your teeth. 30 seconds of brushing your teeth and feeling the bristles on the gums of your mouth. But do something mindfully every day, because a lot of us, unfortunately are just on autopilot from the moment we wake up. We are following the cues non consciously as opposed to being aware of what is going on. And the simplest practice for me is either start in the morning or in the middle of your workday. In the middle of the day, take a few breaths. That for me, regulating the nervous system. Taking three breaths is a game Changer. And if you're listening, let's just do it real quick. Let's take three breaths, one big breath in through the nose and out through the mouth and through the nose. Out through the mouth and through the nose and out through the mouth. So that was about 15 seconds. And if you actually did it, you will feel a difference.

It's beautiful. Brian and friends, to all those who say we don't have time for meditation or being mindful, the beauty is if you look at the definition of mindfulness, right. John Kabad Zin coined it and I love it because it makes it accessible to anyone and everyone. He defined mindfulness as the awareness that arises when you pay attention on the present moment with intention, without judgment. Okay, so your body is already living moment to moment. It has no choice whether to be in the past or in the future or in the present. It's always in the present. It's the mind that 70 to 80% of the time is either in the past or in the future or thinking about anything other than the thing it is doing right now. And so yes, meditation as a formal practice can be unbelievably powerful. And I really wish and hope that you do it. Both Brian and I, you know, have done 10 day Vipassana meditations where you meditate for 10 days. But friends, you don't have to start by meditating. You can start by being mindful, which is as simply as what Brian said. And we always start rewire programs with mindful starts which is do whatever you're doing, just do it mindfully. Focus on unitasking that one thing and you can do it throughout the day and notice how your experience is changing and you'll start to retrain your brain. You'll start enjoying the food you eat. When you do it mindfully, it tastes better because you smell it, you're with it. A conversation with a loved one, you feel the connection because you're seeing in their eyes and you're seeing their smile and you're having a beautiful conversation. When you walk out in nature, you're noticing the birds singing. You're noticing, you know, I see a little rabbit out there right now which is just nibbling away. You start to notice, you start to smell, you start to be present. And just like that, when you enjoy it, you, you will want to do more of it. Versus the way today people talk about meditation is go sit in a room and meditate for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, our mind is going all over. People are saying I can't meditate because they recognize and they have this myth that mindfulness and meditation means don't think. And so try it and notice the beauty, the magic that mindfulness, through these little mindful moments, breathing, removing the phone from your room can create for you. Let's start with the second activity, right? That is activity. So talk a little bit about what you mean by activity. Brian.

Activity to me is moving your body. Just, you know, I think it's so easy to wake up, go sit down at your desk and, you know, go to the bathroom a few times, but all of a sudden it's 9pm you know, maybe you had a few minutes to make yourself some lunch, but realistically, you've taken 800 steps that day or around your house, around your apartment. For me, exercise is the number one key to my happiness, if I'm being honest with you. Days where I don't exercise, I don't feel like myself. Days where I do, I have this energy that makes me excited to be alive, you know, And I don't. I. I'm not everyone, you know, for someone else, mindfulness could be the biggest thing. For someone else, gratitude could be the biggest thing. But I know for me, I need to move my body to feel like myself. But that being said, moving your body can be as simple as going on a 10 to 15 minute walk. It does not have to be going for a run. It does not even have to be going to a gym. It can be go outside, see the sun, get in nature, walk around, come back inside. And whether you do this first thing in the morning, whether you do this during your lunch break, whether you do this at the end of the day, it will make a dramatic impact in your life. There's a study about exercise, that 30 minutes of exercise three times per week is more impactful than the leading antidepressants on the market. So I know so many people are just looking for that quick fix. I know so many people in America are struggling. We live in this world where we're in the loneliness epidemic. We live in this world where, you know, we're like, how do we, how do we fix this? And this is it. Magic, is it? But as simple as 10 to 15 minutes outside. And one other point I really want to hit on here is this is one of my core philosophies. Mood follows action, mood follows action. So so many of us wait till we're in a certain mood to take the action that is good for us. We wait till, you know, I feel energized to go exercise. We wait till we feel calm to then go meditate. We feel wait till we feel like socializing to then go be amongst humans when in reality the mood we want follows the action. So by exercising I then feel the energy. By meditating or being mindful I then feel calmer. So I can't emphasize enough. Like if you want to feel a certain way, short circuit your brain by taking that action that makes you feel that certain way. And for me, exercise is the one with the leads to the release of endorphins that really gets me into my body for the day. So for me it's become a huge morning habit.

We hope you're enjoying this episode and would love your help in spreading awareness and furthering our mission to help a billion people Rewire for Happiness. Please consider leaving us a review and sharing this podcast with others in your personal and professional life who you feel could benefit from some of these very insights. It's a really simple way to extend and spread positivity. Also check out Rewire, our proprietary offering to move you from knowing to doing on the Happiness Squad website www.happinesssquad.com Rewire uses the science of habit formation and the power of community to help you build happier habits in five minutes or less daily. Now back to the episode. I love that Brian. And you know, for the listeners and Brian knows I'm actually quite vocal about this. You know, of the nine hardwired for Happiness practices, the well being is one of them. And in well being we talk about mental, physical, spiritual. Physical is one of my kind of growth edges, right? Because I can wake up and I can so easily just start reading or doing something else or I have a habit of calling my parents every morning and all of a sudden, you know, the time flies away and then you don't do it. Here's something that's worked for me over the last 6, 912 months, right? As I've been more intentional about it. Am I still successful seven days a week? I'm not, but I'm pretty successful three to four days a week. My Apple Fitness tells me you get your 60 minutes of exercise almost every day, but even three days I'm able to do that in the morning. And here's what's helped me a lot. It's made a big difference. Friends. The first one is just completely reprogramming. I earlier used to think if I'm not spending 45 minutes, but no point doing it, don't do it right? Like, oh, it's only 25 minutes left, that's okay, 10 minutes, 15 minutes is okay, just right. So that's number one, just reframing the quantity with whether it's worth doing it at all. And that's been a big one for me. The second has been the inertia, as Brian mentioned. There is so much inertia to action, right? I don't feel like it, so I don't do it. And what I've noticed, for me, practical friends. So try this for you. There is real depth in what Brian is saying. Like, so for me, stretching is something that I'm trying to do a lot more of. I'm 50. I've spent 20 years of my life just sitting, oftentimes six to eight hours, if not longer, in a plane. That's not how our bodies are meant to sit. And most of our other work, if you're a consultant, you know, you sit down, or even if you're a banker, you sit and do. Our bodies, they're not meant for sitting. Our hamstrings get shorter, they get tighter. So stretching is a big deal. So for me, I start with just touching my toes once, right? I'm like, just start. Start by just leaning, letting gravity do its work. Stretch your toes. And you know what happens once I do that immediately? Then I want to actually extend out and then do a down dog. Then once I'm there, then a plank follows. The moment the plank follows, I can lower myself and then do a cobra. And then all of a sudden, I'm flowing and I'm back to a down dog, and I'm moving forward and I'm going through the motions. But if I don't take that first step, I'll convince myself I don't have enough time, this can wait till tomorrow, et cetera. So that's something. This notion of mood follows action. And the action can be as simple as one step, right? Put your shoes on and take the first step out rather than worry about, oh, I'm not ready to go for a run, or I don't have the time. Really simple, simple ways to get started. Start that tomorrow. Every day move. Recent study by Mayo that talked about sitting is the new smoking. We sit so much, we move so little. Even if you just make meetings, we, you, you meet every day. I'm a big believer in let's take everyday things that we do and change them rather than do new things because our lives are so full. Take a meeting every day. Commit to taking one meeting every day. Just one. Just one. Take one meeting. And either go for a walk and have the meeting on phone, or if you can go for a walk, stand up, don't take the meeting sitting down, move. And just notice the magic of movement and activity in your life.

Right.

It's a really, really beautiful, powerful practice that Brian is sharing with us.

Yeah. And just to reemphasize what you're saying there, Ashish, the idea of habit stacking, like whether it's a meeting and you move during the meeting or Ashish, you said you call your parents every morning. That's another great time to it. While moving. We're not asking you to do more because we know most people listening to this are already state of time fit and already feel like you have no additional time layered into the things that you are already doing.

Exactly. So let's go to the third one which is the G. The gratitude.

Yeah, Gratitude changes your entire outlook on the world. It did for me. I like to say.

It did for me too. Yeah, it did for me too. It's like the practice that changed my brain. Yeah.

I like to say reframe your reality. It refrains our entire outlook on the world. And you know, I'm going to be honest with you. If you're listening to this right now and you have a roof over your head and you have, you know, you know you're going to have your next meal, you're one of the lucky ones. You're already, you know, in the upper enchant of the world because there's a lot of, a lot of struggle out in this world. Chances are about six out of seven things in your life are going really, really, really, really well. And there's probably one out of seven that isn't great. Something going on at work is a struggle, or there's this little intricacy of your relationship that's not going well, or you didn't get the exact bonus you wanted and it's pissing you off. If you fixate on that one thing that's not going well and have that negativity bias that's going to be your entire life. Your whole life will be in that shadow versus if you can focus on all the good. I like to say when you appreciate the good in your life, the good appreciates in value. When you appreciate the good in your life, the good appreciates in value. It becomes. Your life becomes more valuable. And going back to this example, if six things are going well and one thing is not going well, think about your life like a tennis match. If you won six games in a set and lost one game in a set, you would actually be thrilled because you just won the set. But the way our brains work is that we fixate on that one. That didn't go well. And that doesn't mean we shouldn't learn from that one game in retrospect and be able to say, okay, what could have been better? What is the growth there? But let's focus on the wins because life is really good. And at the end of the day, what you choose to focus on is your reality. And that is the life we have to live in because we're all just living through life and our attention creates that reality. How did it change your life, Ashish?

Well, I've been for me, look, I mean, 20 years. You know, when you're a consultant and you're designed, your core part of the work is being able to quickly identify opportunities for your clients. You know, you find flaw in everything. You can find flaw in perfection. You can say, hey, this is too perfect, right? Like literally, like when you are trained that way you find things that are not working. And that doesn't just happen at work. You know, there's this fixed. People think I can be this way at work and I can be something else different. No, we live one lives, right? And the way we are, the way we train our brains, that's how we make sense of everything else. And that's a little bit of how my life was too. Brian. And once I actually started formally with the gratitude practice, right, which is one of the most, I always say it's the highest ROI practice, writing down about three things you're grateful for, even once a week can have such a profound impact in eight weeks or less in terms of how you're feeling, your whole perspective on how life appears, your life satisfaction, your anxiety, your depression, you'll sleep better. All these benefits that are so well researched across cultures, there is no surprise. In every wisdom tradition, gratitude shows up as a practice of giving thanks, right? It was saying grace. In Christianity, it is the concept of santosha. In Hinduism, it is the concept of really, you know, same sentosha shows up in different ways in Buddhism, stoicism. It shows up like in almost every wisdom tradition you search for gratitude and you will find is not happenstance, friends, it is not happenstance. And it fundamentally is helping you rewire the negativity bias in our brain that is really evolved to keep us safe, not happy. So try it. In fact, try it at work. What do we bond over at work? Most people oftentimes bond over what's not good. Complaining about a boss, complaining about a coworker, complaining about the amount of hours I have to work, complaining that we have to come into office, complaining that I'm not coming to office. We often think about what's not good and, you know, for leaders, my invitation is create a gratitude practice once a week with your team. Be thankful and notice and appreciate those who made a big difference. Be thankful and consciously think about the gain you made against the goals rather than the gap that still needs to be closed. And notice how it fundamentally changes the energy in your teams, how it increases the level of creativity, how much it increases the psychological safety, and fundamentally how it allows you to be and do a lot more. So I love the practice of gratitude. It's a core part of the work Brian and I do with individuals and with clients. And I'm hoping if you're listening to this today, you sit down and start formally adopting a gratitude practice once a week with your family, once a week with your at work, and start to unleash the magic from gratitude in your life.

I just want to hit on one thing you said that our brains keep us safe, not happy. I think that's such an important point and that's a big part of the reason we're in business at all. If our brains were there to keep us happy, we would not need to practice all these things. We would our brain, it would happen organically. Our brains evolved to keep us alive from hundreds of thousands of years ago when we were amongst dinosaurs and amongst, you know, all these elements that we weren't sure we would survive. So our brain is constantly looking for the danger or the threat and trying to mitigate threat. And that is why we have that negativity bias. We now live in a world where we don't have animals chasing us most of the time. We don't have, you know, the real threat now is our phones in our pockets. They vibrate and we feel like we're in a sense of fear, you know, our state of fear. So the reason we have all these practices, mindfulness activity, gratitude, inspiration, and connection, is to Ashish's point right there, that our brain keeps us safe, not happy. But we don't need it to keep us as safe as it used to. We instead want to rewire that for happiness.

Yeah. Thank you, my friend. So let's go to the fourth I. Inspiration. Talk to us a little bit about inspiration.

Yeah. So this is a big one for me, and Ashish has spent enough time with me at this point to know that I'm a pretty playful person. I definitely try to let out the Inner child within me. Because I think that as we grow up, we stop playing, we stop doing the things that inspire us, and we, especially with, you know, both of us having this consulting background at Sheesh. My brain was hardwired for utilization and productivity. And it was really hard when I left consulting to not think about, how is this hour going to be productive, like, and, like, in a tangible way. And I had a lot of anxiety just sitting on a couch, just sitting on a couch, doing nothing, because it was like, well, what am I accomplishing right now? And to me, inspiration is this idea of, how can you bring back that childlike sense of wonder, that childlike sense of awe, or do something that inspires you to take action? Because oftentimes, when not feeling inspired to take action, we're taking action because we have to. Because our jobs require us to do something, because our lives require us to do something. And in a meaningful, happy life, I believe that we should be doing things that we actually feel inspired to do. So to me, inspiration looks like doing one thing per day, and it could literally be three minutes. That inspires something, and you inspire this energy, this life force that you don't necessarily feel every day that gets you excited to be here, just excited to be on this earth, to feel alive. And this could be something as simple as doing a crossword puzzle. This could be something as simple as while you're drinking your coffee, play with play doh. And see what comes out of it. This can be journaling. This can be listening to a TED Talk, or it could be your favorite podcast, if you will, but something that gets you, your brain going towards the state of excitement. Because also, how excited we are about something in the future is correlated with our happiness. Like that. Like when our ideas get percolating. And I don't know who here has been a part of the creative brainstorms, but my brain rarely has more fun than when I am in a creative brainstorm and getting the juices flowing and ideating and feeling inspired. So what can you do? Who is the person you need to connect with over a conversation that will make you feel inspired every single day? And as adults, we've lost that, and it's not that hard. But it does take intentionality.

I love that, Brian. I think there are two or three things that you unpacked right? I think inspiration can be. I loved your notion of connect with your inner child. Friends. You don't need to teach a child to be present. You don't need to teach a child to be happy. You don't need to teach a child to really be engaged in what they're doing and to be curious. Our number of questions we ask when we are three or four to when we are seven or eight goes down 70 to 80%. We stop asking questions. The world beats it out of us. It also beats play. You know, remember as a child, what did you do? We love to play. In fact, we learn through playing. What do we do as we grow up? We stop playing and we stop learning. And when we learn, we learn in classroom settings, right. Rather than through play and through action. So this inspiration to go back and connect and bring more play and inspiration into your life. Brian, I have to tell you, I was. One of the most inspiring moments actually came two days ago. I actually stopped for a bit, which was. I was actually at a grocery store. Okay. Like, grocery stores are not inspiring. But you know what inspired me? I was sitting in the fruit aisle. I was standing there, and I don't know why this thought went in. I was thinking about, you know, what am I going to eat? The apples? Usually I have apples and bananas and melons. Those are the things I love. Now, you know, dear friends, you're like, okay, why do. I can't. But I was noticing, you know, and for a moment I looked, and they were like, over 30 different varieties of fruits. Just fruits. There are many of them that I've never tried, but there were 30 different varieties, right? Even the apples. There are eight different varieties of apples there, you know, And I looked at that and I said, you know what? I was in complete wonder and inspiration from the magic that unfolds all around us. Like, these are all. No, human created it. Nature is just creating these. All these different variations, right, of delicious fruit. We add sugar on the side. They all are sweet or they are sour. There's these unbelievable flavors. They are attractive to look at. They have amazing smells. And I was just, for a moment, step back. And I was just, you know, in awe of this magic that is all around us. And oftentimes when we go to the store, what do we do? We're just picking things up. I need this. I need this. I need this. So the next moment, you know, I don't know if that'll inspire you, but I actually stepped back and I started looking around, and I was like, oh, my God, how much is around us? And what is this magical force at play that is creating this huge variety of food that is good for us?

Ah, I love that. I love that. And I love that you just followed your curiosity, because it's very easy to get that thought come through your mind that's like, huh, there's lots of fruit. That's interesting. Okay, I'm gonna get my apple. Versus actually following that path and saying, there's lots of fruits here. I wonder where all these came from and what would they taste like and maybe even try a couple new ones. I mean, that shows me that you're willing to follow your curiosity, which is something we lose as an adult. And, like, what I like to tell coaching clients, like, pay attention to what you pay attention to because oftentimes that is such a driving force to figure out what interests you, what intrigues you, where. Where you want to, you know, find your play or find your meaning and infuse more play.

Dear friends, right? There's a researcher. You can look up his work. It's beautiful work. It's called. His name is Stuart Brown. He wrote a book called Play Play how it Shapes the Brain, Opens the imagination, and it's a beautiful, beautiful book. Bring more inspiration. Bring more inspiration through conversations, through play, from cultivating presence in your teams and in your life and see the magic unfold for you. Let's go to the last connections and talk a little bit, Brian, around how, why connections matter and how one can be more connected. It seems like we are more connected than ever in this digital world. Right. We want digital detoxes, and yet, you know, we are lonelier than ever. So I want. I would love to hear from you in the work that you're doing, how are you helping people break free from the matrix and really build deeper connections?

Absolutely. So you're right that we live in this world where you have all these connections on social media, whether it's LinkedIn, whether it's Facebook, whether it's Instagram. I had a conversation with a friend who has hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram about how she's lonely. So something's not equating between followers or connections and actually feeling connected. And we know, Ashish, that relationships are the number one predictor of happiness. There was a study at Harvard over 75 years, and, you know, of all the factors, it was the quality and not quantity, but quality of relationships that was the number one predictor of happiness. So the question is, how can you facilitate meaningful relationships, you know, where you don't have to wear a mask and they're not just friends with you because you went to a certain school, because you got that promotion, but they're actually just there for you and they see you and they hear you and it's easier than you think. It's as simple as reaching out to people, letting you. Letting them know you're thinking about them and listening. I think something that's really lost today is the art of listening. And Ashish. One exercise you and I have done together is asking a room of people to ask someone, ask someone else in the room, how are you? And just listen for two to three minutes. And oftentimes they'll do it with their co workers and learn way more in those two to three minutes than they've learned in working with them for two to three years. Because we tend to live on the surface level. And the average answer to how are you? Is good. You. And you haven't learned a single thing about the other person. So, you know, for me, it's how can you listen to people? And, you know, the habit I try to build within my within connections is, can you reach out to one person a day? Let them know you're thinking about them, let them know that something came up that made you want to reach out to them. Ideally, FaceTime is so good for the soul. You know, if you have five minutes in the middle of the day, FaceTime your friend, FaceTime, your parent, everyone wants it, and it feels uncomfortable to do it. It often feels uncomfortable to reach out. But you are not just supporting yourself, you are supporting that other person. And giving to others is giving to yourself as well. So it's this, like, virtuous cycle that we all want and we all lack in this digital world because we think everyone is connected because of social media. But in reality, when you look at social media, you're comparing your internal experience to everyone else's external experience. And that is not apples to apples. That is apples to chicken or something, you know. So not everyone is that connected. And you can take it in your own hands to change it for you and those you care about. So it's little things, you know, Start with one text a day.

Yeah. And listen in a shameless plug for us when you connect with a person. And if you're saying, what am I going to talk about? Or what can I share? Give them forward our podcast. If you're enjoying this podcast, you've enjoyed it over the last several weeks months. Forward them. Forward this to them. Share this episode with them. Help us spread the word, you know, help us. You'll help the person who you forward this to, especially if this resonated with you. I have a simple practice I've done for years, which is every day, if I know someone whose birthday it is that day. I call them, I don't text them, I don't email them. I only do that if I don't have their phone number. Right? So I'll email them if they don't have the phone number. But usually I call them and it's a simple act. But most people don't do it today. And just the surprise of hearing and getting wished. Think about your own day. You know, we really look forward to our birthdays. We're so happy for our birthday because it's our special day and for somebody to remember that, my friends, that connection will bring you so much joy. And it's such a simple way to live into this habit of connecting with somebody. So call people on their birthdays. Please send them the gift of our podcast. It's free. Or any of the posts on LinkedIn or Instagram that we post. Connections really are 60% of how good somebody's life is or how well they did in their health is based on the quality of connections. And truly, if we tune into that, you can unleash magic in your life. Brian, this has been an amazing conversation, my friend. Thank you for creating that simple word. I love magic, as many people know. And that's why when I first heard about that framework from you, I knew we wanted to bring that to our listeners, to inspire them and to inspire them to turn the mundane into magical moments so that life you feel, and I'm going to borrow from you because I've heard you say this too, so you can feel more alive every day of your life. Thank you.

And just to iterate that, to me, magic is the path from comfortably numb to alive. I think so many of us get to a point where we know we're not happy, but we're not really doing that much about it. We don't know what to do about it, you know, and you're. You're going through this numb existence. Magic is the steps that get you to feel alive. And like, every day is exciting to me. And that's what I've seen with people I've worked with as well.

Well, my friend, thank you. I am so excited that we are continuing our journey together that we're collaborating on Rewire with several corporate clients. So if you listen to this podcast and you want a little bit of magic of Brian and a little bit of magic of Happiness Squad to really turn your life or your team's life or your organization's life, you know, and move the organization to higher performance, to more connections, to more inspiring magical moments at work rather than just, you know, dreading through the days. Please email us. We'd be happy to help you, Brian. Thank you. This is a really inspiring conversation for me to record with you. And I'm grateful, dear friend, for our partnership and for all that we're building together.

I am so grateful, Ashish. That goes both ways. This is a fun journey and yes, we would love to help you, if you're listening or anyone you know, rewire your brain and experience the magic of life. Because it can be a blissful place. And well, that's why we're. That's why we're in business. We're here to help.

That wraps up another episode of the Happiness Squad podcast. We hope you found the insights actionable to enhance your journey towards happiness and fill your life with more joy, health, love and meaning. Please consider leaving us. Review and share the podcast with anyone in your professional or personal life who you feel will benefit from some of these very insights. It's a really simple way to extend support and spread positivity. Take care and remember, happiness is a choice that's available to you moment to moment in the here and now. Take care and see you next week.