The Recipe for Happiness and Deeper Connections with Paul Cure

Welcome to the Happiness Squad Podcast. Your weekly dose of practical tips and inspiration to help you operate at your fullest potential, integrating the science of flourishing into how you live, work and lead. I'm your host, Ashish Kothari, the founder and CEO of Happiness Squad and author of the bestselling book Hardwired for Happiness. I will be your personal guide on your journey to explore the many facets of happiness, wisdom, well being and flourishing, from personal growth to building more positive environments at work. In each episode, we will share powerful insight, tips and stories from our guests who are leading experts, company executives and flourishing solution providers that you can implement right away to make happiness your competitive edge. Whether you're looking to overcome life's challenges, to go from good to great, or to enhance your team's performance through flourishing, this podcast is the place for you to find more joy, health, love and meaning in everything you do. Join us every week as we rewire for Happiness together. Welcome to the Happiness Squad Podcast. Today we have a special guest, Paul Cure, who has delved deeply into the world of food, exploring its joys and complexities. Paul is the co founder of Cure Organic Farm in Boulder, Colorado. He's a food writer whose work has appeared in many publications including City Lifestyle and Iconic Life. He's currently at work on his next book, Comfort Food, Exploring our relationship and craving for love and belonging to at the Table. Paul lives in Boulder, Colorado. In this episode, Paul shared his journey into the world of food and his passion for exploring different flavors and cuisines. We discussed a range of topics, including the importance of communal dining, the role of food in creating connections and fostering happiness. We also explored the concept of slow food and its emphasis on local, cultural and enjoyable eating experiences. Stay till the End, where we discuss several practical ways in which you can take tiny steps to change your relationship with food and make it a source of healing, connection and joy in our worlds. Come join me in welcoming Paul to the Happiness Squad podcast. Hi dear Paul, welcome to the Happiness Squad Podcast. We are so excited to have you with us, my friend.

Oh, it's a pleasure to be here. I'm very happy to be here at. Sheesh. I'm always grateful for spending time with you.

So listen, I mean, you are. I want to share what a special journey this is going to be and you've been on in the world of food, right? Food is always big source of nourishment. It can be a huge source of joy. It can also be a big source of suffering. And you're one who's really delved into this space so deeply. So share with me a little bit, Paul, around how your journey started into this world of food and really what sparked your passion to kind of explore and get into this space so deeply.

Yeah, you know, it's such a funny. It's such a funny question when you think about our relationship to food. It's, you know, as human beings, it's necessary that we eat or we're not going to last too long. And so, you know, it's something. Growing up the youngest of four in a Midwestern Catholic family, you know, ketchup sandwiches were indulgent, you know, and so. So my relationship to food, you know, really, really started to blossom with friends and friends, families. And so I had a really great, great childhood. And I had as good friends the delucas and the Ronquillos, and we played music together, RJ And Lawrence and I and I would go over to their house for band practice. And at the DeLuca house, they had, you know, three generations in the. Living in that house. And so one day they made homemade spaghetti carbonara. And I'd never smelled, tasted, or experienced anything like that. And so the story goes, you know, my mom called on Sunday. I went over on Friday afternoon, and my mom called the DeLuca household on Sunday evening and said, have you guys seen Paul? And I didn't. I didn't want to leave. You know, the smells, the aromas, the tastes. And the same thing was true for the Ronquillo. They were Filipino. And. And so, you know, being introduced to those smells and those tastes was really that first, you know, experience of what it could be. And growing up in Detroit with Eastern market and with such a huge Middle Eastern population, you know, kibbe meat, and suddenly, you know, all of these new flavors, especially as I was growing up, were huge, you know, in getting me a palette. And I think people's relationship to food really depends on expanding that palette and finding out what you like, you know. And so fast forward, you know, 15 years after, you know, that first experience of spaghetti carbonara, and I started an organic farm in Boulder, Colorado, and. And I'm in Turin, Italy, you know, eating mushroom risotto at Tira Madre with slow food. So let the journey, you know, stay curious and let that journey and that curiosity lead you into really great spaces.

Wow. Now, that's such a. What a beautiful story. Right? That's very. How old were you when your mother called that you were missing for two days? Where is Paul?

We were. We were kids, you know, we were probably, I would say, nine to 10, you know. And we had this great little punk band called the Plague. Right. So you know, band practice and music. And that also goes into something that I really truly believe in regards to food, which is the setting. Right. How food is introduced to you and what is your experience about actually sitting down at a table. And I feel like, especially with that intergenerational experience that I had with the DeLuca family, you know, having their grandmother there talking about, you know, how she actually made it, the smell of the bacon, you know, all of these inputs were, were instrumental of getting an understanding of what is it that I love about it, you know, and so that, you know, and especially when I started the farm, it was about hosting those types of events and getting people on the land. And then my current experience of writing about food in restaurants, you know, is, is now guided by this AJ Liebling quote which is the only prerequisite about writing about food is a good appetite. And I have a huge appetite for, for all these different types of experiences. And so being a food writer now has really, you know, enabled me to, to live out my dream and my passion and writing this, this current book, Comfort Food which once again is that, you know, that exploration of what is it that we love about food and our relationship to food.

Yeah, look, there's so many things, you know, you mentioned which I think worth kind of noting and bringing back and I think we can get into so many of them. Right. I think one is, you know, you brought, you, you brought back and I grew up in India and you know, in India, one, you do have multi generations living. It's just a part of life. We didn't grow up that way. But even if you don't have multi generations, you do have this really close knit community. Right. Whether you're living in large complexes like my parents live in a complex with about thousand other households, their apartments, everybody knows everybody's business. And then there is, and it's amazing because you know, like my mom, like I am there and the phone starts ringing from 7 and it doesn't stop till 8 or 9 and they're always people bringing, if they cook something they're going to bring a little bit over or mom is sending things to people and there's like, you know, it's just this tight. And I think you mentioned this notion of this relationships, right. With these two families and also in the family multi generations which I think is so critical to flourishing. And I think it's something we have lost.

Yeah, it needs to be highlighted for sure. You know it's special. Yeah, you gotta keep the door open. And, you know, if it's not direct family, you know, then it was a next door neighbor. And food is the way that we share affection, you know, especially, you know, with neighbors. And, you know, if you think about housewarming parties, if you think about ways that we grieve, ways that we celebrate, it's always based around the concept of food, you know, and whether it's a favorite dish, you know, or whether it's something that we wanted to celebrate. Food is that. That communion, you know, of how we actually share an experience.

Yeah. And we share that experience together now with the City Club. Right. Which the, you know, the. Right. Really, I mean, it's a beautiful community. At the heart of it is food and unbelievable food. And, you know, we were there together yesterday and I was just. What an amazing, delicious meal. I want to come there more often. But, you know, the other thing you mentioned, Paul, which is so, you know, I'm not sure many people will know. They might have heard it, but I'm not sure people fully will know what is slow food. So can you talk a little bit about that?

Yeah. My experience and my, you know, the history of slow food is a. Is a comical one. You know, I love more of the comedic aspect of these histories. And so I went to school in Paris, and if people remember, in the 90s and the late 90s, there was a French farmer by the name of Jose Beauvais who notoriously took a tractor into a McDonald's, not literally as a guest, but as a protest. So, you know, that definitely made an impact in France, you know, and my experience was I, as a student went and heard him at the Cafe select in Paris. And slow food was really born out of that, that belief that food should be local, food should be understood, food should be cultural, and food should be enjoyed with others, rather than the predominating trend of fast food and how people were not even knowing what they were eating, where the beef came from, where the vegetables came from, where the potato for the French fries came from. And so, you know, that in my experience of it was really framing of how we can make a difference, you know. And so we have an interesting relationship in America with sensuality and food. Right. It's kind of like especially in the Midwest. Right. So, you know, we go like, you know, if it's not cheese, we're suspicious. Right. So that was a way, especially when Alice Waters and Cheap and east started. What Alice was really bringing was a sense of, you know, it could Be called terroir, or it could also be called just a sense of place. And so the food that was grown, you know, was particular to that land. Just as you were talking about for India. Right. There are certain crops, there are certain flavors that are, you know, a curry, right. That's only particular to that particular town. So that same sensibility was something that slow food wanted to do regionally all over the world. And so, you know, doing it in Boulder, Boulder, Colorado, and, you know, raising a farm and raising animals, you know, it was like, here you go. This is what a Boulder, Colorado carrot tastes like. You know, and sometimes you would plant a seed and you felt like you were putting a rock on top of it because the soil is so rocky here. So that same type of persistence and that same type of belief and really slow food is a way for people to have a philosophy to bind each other together, which I think is needed. You know, like I said, food is communion. And food is a way for us to lower our shoulders and enjoy each other's company and, you know, find happiness, you know.

Yeah. You know, and it's. Isn't it interesting to me? I love it. I love it, Paul. And I think it's, you know, if I think about. There's fast food restaurants, right? But then if we think about our own relationship right now and how we consume food, you know, people talk about fast food restaurants, and I'm like, the problem is not fast food restaurants. We are like faster food consumers. Like, what I mean by that is, look about all the people who are working. And I mean, you know, you look at lunchtime and people will break something up and they're working and they're just scarfing the food down. No idea what the food is, oftentimes because they worked all the way till for the first four hours without break. What they're putting on the plate is as much about somehow kind of giving themselves a reward or kind of overcoming that stress. So it's not necessarily the best. And then we are not actually. We're one, eating alone. So your notion of communion and community is missing. Second, we're not even with the food. We're literally just scarfing it. And the notion, because if you're just gonna scarf something down, you need very little. We overe. We consume way too much. If you're just doing it for preservation of the body, you wouldn't eat as much as you do. And so we've come so far in terms of how we live from really this notion of what you're describing where food can be such a big source of joy and nourishment and kind of really, truly a holistic, nurturing practice.

Yeah, it's ritual. We're lacking in ritual. And so our priorities are production. And it's something that is understandable for a good economy, for a good lifestyle, we need to be productive. And yet companies, whether they're large or whether they're small, I really do believe, and I'm optimist at heart, that those companies that put the priority on well being and food is well being, then those employees thrive and the companies thrive. And so with the rise of Ozempique and wegovy, and denying one's appetite is a metaphor for many things and something that I think we as a culture in America, and this is something that I'm exploring in the book, comfort and ease through food is really emulated in Scandinavian cultures. And if you look at the happiest cultures, Scandinavian cultures are right on the top. And so this concept of comfort being hoyga and, you know, such a plethora of sheepskins that you wonder where the sheep are getting their fur in Scandinavia. But that understanding of when you create a space and when you hold a space for ceremony and for ritual, for food, it doesn't, you know, the time period can be just a half hour. But if you say, you know what, we're putting away our phones, we're sitting down together at a table and we're going to share something together so that we can actually, you know, have a connection that's deeper. I wholeheartedly believe that those companies and those people will be happier. And that's something that, you know, that I think most companies are paying attention to rather than, you know, denying health insurance for, for WeGovy subscription or prescriptions. So, yeah, yeah, it's there whether we want it or not.

You know, it's there whether we want it or not. In fact, one of the things that as part of this rewire program we've created, which is all about building habits. One of the habits, right, that I'm like a big, big proponent for people to build because we've built the opposite habit is the habit of savoring, right? Really training ourselves in that moment to enjoy whatever it is that we are consuming, whether it is a cup of coffee and we are brewing it, truly letting the aromas, the flavors, the taste, really be with it. If we are eating, noticing what we are putting on a plate, noticing the colors, the textures, the smells, you know, really tuning into that taste of what we are putting in and if you truly do that, you know, one, we are practicing mindfulness, which always is, you know, we have to take every opportunity to train our brain because we've trained it the opposite way with smartphones. Every opportunity is an opportunity to look at the phone. But second, I think we feel so much more satiated, you know, when we are really enjoying the. What we are. Even if you take 10 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever it is. But if we are with, and I say do five minutes, you know, five minutes, just be. Enjoy your meal and just notice, I think we will eat less, we will enjoy the food more, and, you know, in the end we'll feel more nourished as a result of it, versus just sluggish.

Right. And this is especially for kids, right? This is something that, as the father of two daughters, I also want to meet people where they are, you know, and so when you're raising kids and you have a family and you've got the dog, the cat, and, you know, your personal relationships, all of these things in full spectrum, food becomes really hard to make a priority of, but yet in education, and this is something that Ann Cooper with the, the renegade lunch lady, which she does so well, is just really taking the time, especially in schools, to educate them that food is not just energy. Food, you know, allows you to think better, it allows you to be more productive, it allows you to actually connect with yourself, connect with others. And that, you know, that educational model is just necessary. You know, it's so, so necessary. And yet, like I said, you have to meet people where, where they are, you know, for a csa, Community supported agriculture, you know, and ways for people to get involved with their local food systems. Right. You know, there's always that first week when a person who maybe hasn't ever done a CSA opens the box and they're like, there are three bunches of kale in here. What the hell do I do with three bunches of kale? And so you've got, you know, you've got to, you know, the happiness part of it is saying, don't worry, we've given you a parachute of some recipes of how to actually, you know, engage with your food here. Because like I said, a lot of people are, you know, used to a bar, as you were saying, right?

Or just put some pasta and put something from a jar and just eat it, put a lot of salt in it so I can actually enjoy whatever. Because salt has become a predominant flavor that we, that we go for. Right? And we move on. No, I'm absolutely. So talk a Little bit about the csa. You know, what are some ways in which individuals can really start to engage more with the local food systems, start to integrate a little bit of. You know, I love what you said. You know, rituals are powerful. And even in our busy lives, if it's a weekly ritual, like, what are some things that people can do to start to kind of shift and truly turn food from oftentimes a source of suffering or at best just kind of a necessity to something that can really be a big source of joy?

Yeah, it's something that you have to take slowly. Once again, you know, kind of leaning back into that slow food philosophy. You have to allow people. People are intimidated, right? I know that I was intimidated even starting a farm and saying, how do we do this? You know, and people have their own conceptions that it's going to be so expensive, that it's going to be way too many vegetables. And so I think the way that people can really take that first step in a different direction with their relationship to food is just to ask questions, right? To ask coworkers, what are you having for dinner? Would you like.

I have.

I've got this csa. Can you come over and help me cook this stuff up? Right. It can be a source of curiosity, and it can be a source of. Every great challenge is an opportunity for innovation, right? And so the CSA model, you know, is you pay one lump sum, or you can pay it in installments to a farmer, a local farmer, and they grow their food for you, right? And so you get your weekly amount of vegetables, you know, you get your weekly amount of local chicken and eggs and beef and locally roasted coffee. All of these ways to kind of connect you to where you are. And that, I know, for me, it really gave me such a deep sense of community and a deep sense of gratitude in regards to growing the food for. For those families, as well as those families saying, I've never tried chard. And it's almost like this confessional, right? So it's like, what do I do? You know, And. And the key thing is that you enjoy it. You try things out, and you try to make it so that it makes sense for you and your family. As you were saying around salt, right? And butter and, you know, as a Midwesterner, cheese, right. If I can't put cheese on something, I don't know what to do. So those palates. And like I said, you're really training a different part of your palate when you start to eat local food, because, you know, suddenly people will also say, I never knew that a carrot tasted like this. I always thought that carrots were dry and rocks. And I always thought that celery tasted like water and was used as a secondary dental sloth. Right? So, you know, when they taste local food that's been harvested that day, I think to your point around flavor, people.

Really get like that.

Yeah. And they go, like, I don't have to add so much food to this dish because I now realize that food has flavor. Right? So, you know, people. And I know I'm, you know, right with you, everyone. So I was right there in that sense of skepticism of how best to. To engage with my local food supply and growing. That food was really like a. A proof of concept, right? That food tastes different when grown locally and harvested, you know, freshly. And so, you know, notoriously, there would be a. There was this one gentleman who loved fresh eggs, right? And the house was on the farm, and he would come knocking on the door at like, 6am and whether or not we even were up yet, most likely were, but in doing chores. But he'd be like, I want the fresh eggs, like the ones that have been harvested that day, you know, And I. You know, I love that. You know, I love that sense of ownership from. From people. Obviously, we gotta have our personal boundaries. But. But that devotion, that devotion to food. And as you were saying, how. How do people get started? I love going out to eat. I love local chefs. I love, you know, inventiveness. Ask the chefs. Right? The chefs. This is what they do day in and day out. You know, Chef Tyler here at City Club, he puts on Thanksgiving dinner every day. There's so many incredible people doing such important work. I'll share one story. Recently, I was at Taste of Vail, and they were celebrating their local chefs, and I was one of the food judges, which is always a great gig to get. And so there's 15 dishes that were, you know, blind tasting, that were just kind of one after another presented to us, and we took a bite. And you. You know, this is a great. This is a great gig. So it's local food. It's a local ranch that they're highlighting. And so each chef chose one cut of meat from Fitch Ranch in Colorado Springs, I believe. And then that chef had to create a dish. And so you get, like, the classic Italian dish. And everyone. There's about four of us that are judging, and we're like, oh, the Italians, you know, it's. It's always so good, right? And then there was one dish that came through, and the presentation was just gorgeous. It was this piece of steak that had been cured into a rose, and then caviar was poured into that rose. And then that steak rose was sitting on top of a waffle. And then below the waffle was a salsa verde. And you just took it almost as a bite. Well, you did take it out, but at least I did. And we all. We all were like, this is it, right? This is the best dish. The presentation, the flavor, the inventiveness. The waffle with steak, right? It was just perfect. And so the tasting is over, and I'm talking to a friend, and he says, so, which one was the best? And I said, oh, the steak with caviar and waffle. And he goes, oh, the kids made that? And I said, what do you mean the kids? And he goes, oh, yeah, teenagers made that. And so I said, yeah. And this was a blind tasting. We didn't know who made it, right? So I inquired, and he said, oh, yeah, there's this chef here, his name is Santosh and he's a local chef. And he, in his off hours, goes and trains the local teenagers to be sous chefs and trains them in cooking. And so I said, I gotta meet this guy. This guy is a saint. So I meet him and he says, yeah, how is our labor force going to be educated as to food? And this is a viable way of life if I don't go in and say, hey, I'm a local chef and I want to train you as a teenager how to make your own food. And this thing that was so. That was comical. He's like, and, you know, I'm Muslim, so I don't even eat beef. So I had to have the kids, you know, explain, you know, like, does this even taste good? This was, you know, because the kids and him came up with the recipe and the presentation. So it's stories like that, you know, that really, you know, check all of the boxes of number one, a person who is so talented and dedicated to the craft of food. And then kids, that allowed their. Their curiosity to bloom and they won, you know, So I was like, you know, this is not, you know, sponsored by Disney, you know, but it was one of those experiences where it was poetic. It was beautiful and delicious, which is the most important part.

We hope you're enjoying this episode. If you'd like to start building habits and integrating the hardwired for happiness practices into your life, come check out Rewire our program on the Happiness Squad website. Rewired contains 35 minute micro practices that can help you truly build habits for a happier, healthier life filled with more love and meaning. The program uses the science of habit formation and the power of community to support you in moving from knowing to doing to being. Now, back to the episode. You know, it's this story that you're sharing, Paul. Just. I'm reflecting on it. And again, like such so many, so many thoughts are coming to me and so many inspirations, really. I think the first one for me is, I think, what you're rightly saying, I think if you look at our, you know, we talk about our teenagers, our younger population. I mean, everybody in the news talks about social media and how smartphones and social media are a big source of why this population is struggling. Right. The mental health of our teenagers and young adults is much worse than it's ever been. You know, we have an inverted happiness for curve for the first time, where it used to be that, you know, people like you and I in our 40s and 50s were the most unhappy and older people were happy and the younger people were happy. Not anymore. You know, younger populations are sparing much work. In fact, you know, we had somebody yesterday, actually, I was interviewing, who was researching Canadians, and they were looking at adult population, younger adult population in Canada. And almost 40% of them are actually struggling with something or the other, and they expect almost half the population by the time they are 40 to have some kind of a mental health issue. And a lot of it's around work and a lot of it is around smart, you know, social media. But I think what you are bringing up for me, you know, one inspiration it brings up is I think we also, for this generation, I think just because we've gotten busy and we have gotten fast and we're living fast lives, I don't think we. We haven't helped. I think there's a very broken relationship of younger kids. Less and less people cook. They're not multigenerational homes, like you mentioned, where you can really bask in the flavors. Right. I think we're. We have kind of both because of our own speed and like, kids don't cook that much anymore. And hence we eat out. And when we eat out, we're often eating out at kind of fast food, et cetera, et cetera. Right. So I think what you're highlighting is, I mean, such a beautiful way for parents and one, connect with kids. Second, cook something, create something that can be a source of joy and then sit around the table and eat it. You know, I don't, you know, I'm Just reflecting a bit on, you know, I don't know when was the last time I cooked with my wife and my son. And, you know, she's an amazing cook, and, you know, I'm working, and so she always ends up, you know, making something amazing. We eat it. We used to have these Sunday roast. She's English, so every Sunday, there used to be a roast. But I think I'm taking away a bit, Paul, from this conversation. One of the things that I'm gonna start doing is every at least Sunday, let's all cook together. You know, let's pick something. Let's make three dishes. We can all collaborate. Let's see if we can find things that are local, you know, in addition to that, and let's just sit around and actually have people a wonderful meal. So thank you for providing that inspiration for me. I think I want to. I'm going to start with that maybe every summer, make mistakes, you know.

You know, we make homemade pizza, and sometimes it's the most disgusting thing I've ever ate, but that's okay. But the whole point, right, is like I said, start where you are. You know, if it's making toast and the peanut butter and jelly together, that there's something that is so connecting through it. And it's like I said, food is a relationship. And so with every relationship, you've got to give time, you've got to give space, you've got to give commitment. And it can start so small, right? It can start small. So small with. With oatmeal, for crying out loud. So, you know, and all you have to do is add the oats to the water, which sometimes I have a really hard time, you know, finding the inspiration to do that. But, yeah, I. You know, I am the same way. There's a great book. Callie Kavanaugh, you know, has a great book, the Eden Method, Eating by Design. And I'd be remiss to not mention that in the beauty that Kali brings to the world. So, yeah, it's something that start small. You'll be amazed at where it can go to. You know, you don't have to make it to the Sunday roast this Sunday, you know?

Yeah, I love it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Start small. And most important, just slow down, right? Just slow down. I think it's the act of what you do together. You know, this notion of slow down, start small, and togetherness, I think that can create such a beautiful experience. Ask questions, be curious.

What do you, you know, what do you want to eat? It's my favorite question.

You Know, so, yeah, and. And I think Paul, the other, the other one that actually, you know, comes up for me and I'm going to tie this to the first part of what we were discussing, which is this notion. I think you were very lucky growing up where on one hand you were experiencing amazing Italian food. You of course had your home food and you had Filipino food, right? So flavors and different flavors. And I'll tell you, this is a personal story is, you know, explore different food from different cuisines, different regions, really, you might be surprised and start it early. You know, Ashwin, it was. We used to joke till about 11 or 12, right? I'm Indian. Lizzie's English. The national dish for England is chicken tikka masala. Ashwin didn't eat anything. No Indian, no Asian food. Like, he ate it as bland. And we eat Indian food five days a week at home, right? Lizzie cooks an amazing meal. We eat a lot of that. We used to have to make two dishes. And then all of a sudden, somewhere around 11 and 12, he discovers Indian food, right? And just because he tried it, it was actually out of necessity. Funnily enough, you know, where he discovered Indian food itself is a funny story. The last place you would expect good Indian food is Switzerland in Lucerne. Like that is. That is not a place. But we had an eat in and we were looking and everything was closed and we were like. So Lizzie and I, you know, just decided to Indian food. And he was hungry, so he said, I'm going to try it. And he had this chicken makhani which was spicy and oh my God, he fell in love with the food. So variety, you know, this notion of you don't know what you don't know. You have a story in your head, right, about what it's going to be like or taste like or what you like. But part of the curiosity is about the variety that we can expose ourselves to versus stick to our standard, whatever we eat.

Yeah, it's a love affair. It's a relationship and the relationship is a love affair. And to your point, around your kids, Georgia, our eldest, she, you know, as a baby, we. We had this experience of slaughtering one of our own hogs. And Hugo from the kitchen and Kimball and all the great work that they do there. They. They helped out slaughtering. And then we cooked it, right? And we made a porchetta. And this was like, all right, this is living that I was not, you know, as a suburban kid, I was like, I am really out of my comfort zone here, so. But Georgia grow. We have this great picture of her, like, gnawing on this pork shop from Rhubarb, the family pig. And obviously, she now, you know, so that she's a vegetarian. And I always want to show her that picture of, you know, so you can't. You can't always win, you know, it's just what it is.

So I love it.

Yeah. And now she's a fashion designer and wants to go to Manhattan and be as far away from. From the organic life, which is beautiful, which is the full rainbow of life.

It is the journey. So, my friend, talk to me a little bit. Talk to me a little bit about your book that you're writing, Comfort Food, Exploring our relationships and craving for love and belonging at the table. First of all, I love the title.

Oh, thank you.

Talk to me a little bit about what you're covering. And I know you're, like, you know, two, three chapters into it.

Yeah.

We'll have to have you back to delve more into it, but give us a little bit of snippet of what you're putting into it.

Yeah, I'd love that. It's something that I feel is prescient for the moment, just given our conversation today. And there's an experience that we all have. You know, my kind of pristine, involuntary moment here through the book is when you go into a restaurant and you have this setting, right? It's the beautiful setting, you know, and it's warm. You look around the room, and everyone that you see is. You're like, man, these are my people. I want to. I want to be here. And that sense of belonging in the restaurant. And then you look at the menu and you go, I love all these foods. And so suddenly, all these things are happening to you mentally, but also physically and emotionally, which bring you comfort. Right. And so that sense of place is something that our relationship to food needs to have a sense of intimacy. And it's something, like I said, that we have a really hard time kind of giving space for and giving time towards. And so I'm exploring those spaces in restaurants that really give us this psychology beyond. Guess what? You know, someone else is doing the dishes tonight. The convenience factor, but there's also a comfort factor that we can bring into our own homes and into our own lives. And it's really just a. It's a dialogue with chefs. It's a dialogue with myself around what is it that I love about the comfort of food? It's something that, like I said previously, I really, truly believe that the introduction of the priority of food in your life will change your life. And so it's a relationship, right? So if you give priority to something in your life, you'll be amazed at how it evens out the other priorities in your life, right? So as you're saying for the Sunday dinner, right. You'll find yourself, if you put that Sunday dinner as a priority on Thursday, you might be like, in the grocery store and saying, I think I'm going to make roast carrots to add to Lizzie's roast beef. It's a joyful moment, right. And it really empowers people. And I feel that, especially for kids, if you say to your children, you get to make the dessert. And that agency that you can give to each other in the kitchen, and this is something that Callie does so well, that I love about her, if you give agency to that, you'll be amazed at what you can add to your life. And there's a sense of enchantment, which, as we've spoken to throughout this conversation, whether it be mental health or whether it be depression and people's searching for meaning, bring enchantment to those moments in your life when you're sitting and you're eating and you're sharing a moment with each other, and you'll be amazed at how you want to multiply those moments and how when those moments are really given direct attention to, it really kind of evens out the playing field for the rest of your day and the rest of your month and the rest of the. How you want to engage in the world. So I've been really enjoying writing this book and making the recipes of how to bring a greater sense of enchantment, a greater sense of love and belonging, which I think we all can use in abundant quantities. Right? And I salute you for this podcast of this is what you're trying to give invitation to for people. When you're driving, listen to this podcast. When you're cooking, listen to this. Because it gives them a sense of, once again, empowerment, which people feel intimidated in the kitchen. You know, they don't want to make something that's bad. They don't want to be embarrassed. They don't want to take the time. But we're all worth it, right? We're all worth that time to give to ourselves the love and appreciation which food provides to us. It's the nourishment. That's the direct way that we can, as a species, show affection to ourselves, most importantly, and to the. To the people in our home and to the world. So, yeah, so as you can see, I'm in the thick of it.

Yeah, no, it's so beautiful. I can't wait to read it. We're going to hopefully have Kelly on our podcast, too, to talk a little bit about the Eaton Method. Her book.

Yeah, she's great.

You know, it's. For me, I think, Paul, this has been such an amazing conversation. And personally, for me, it's a reminder. And hopefully our listeners are taking this away, too. You know, I always say, somebody asked me the other day, really, they said, you know, hey, what's a good. What's a good time to meditate? We were talking about meditation because we were doing something on mindfulness. And, you know, I was going to answer like the classic, well, you know, it's this and this. And I said, you know what? We are breathing every moment that we are alive, from the time that we are born to the time that we die. There's one constant, you know, in addition to several others, but that's breath. We are breathing. We don't control how our heart beats, but we always control our heart breathe. You know, how we breathe, shallow, deep. And so every moment is a great to be mindful and to cultivate that presence of really being with. With this podcast, what I'm walking away with is we eat at least three times, unfortunately, five, six times a day. You know, if it's lacking every one of these moments. And, you know, one of the things I always hear is, oh, my God, life is so busy. I don't know where the days are going, the weeks are going, the months are going. And if we just take three times in a day when we are eating, eating more intentionally, you know, really engaging with our food, changing our relationship with food is not just something we scarf down to numb ourselves, but something that we really relish in. You know, it's an invitation to even be curious about. Where did it come from? Where is all of this deep sense of connection? We've gotten so away from the farms, the sources of food. We've gotten so away from the spaces that our ancestors and others, olders, enjoyed on the table. I think if we bring that. I think we can bring that magic back into our lives that today are feeling dull and busy and faster than ever. Thank you.

The heart, yeah, the heart is what will sustain you. Put your heart into what you make, and especially with your food, just put your heart into it to go easy on yourself. As we were saying around oatmeal, it can be a gateway drug into a whole nother world. So go easy on yourself. You deserve the time you deserve the nourishment. And don't worry, there are plenty of books to help you, guide you along the way.

Exactly. With that, my friend, it would be remiss if we had a conversation about food, but I didn't ask you one. What is your favorite food or meal? And if you have a recipe for it that you'd be willing to share with our listeners.

Absolutely. You know, I'll make it as simple as possible. And that is the best recipe that you'll always have is to get your dearest friends, your dearest family, invite one person that you want to get to know to a table and sit with them. And it doesn't even matter what you make, but just the conversation and asking them. You know, that recipe of bringing people together is the greatest source of happiness that I know for me that I've ever experienced. It's Christmas morning and Christmas dinner every day when I'm able to do that. And that's something that I really make a priority. And I hope that your listeners that you and Lizzy. And when you do that, that's the greatest recipe that I'm aware of. Right. Get the people together, let the food speak for itself and you'll be amazed at what you are inspired to do. And if there's one takeaway that I wish I could give to others is say yes to that. And I know for me personally it's been delicious.

Amazing. Well, thank you, my friend. What an amazing conversation.

Oh, thank you.

God bless you for all the beautiful work that you're doing in the world. I'm grateful to have you as a friend and all the best.

Yeah, absolutely. I look forward to our next meal, my friend.

Take care. Cheers. Paul. That wraps up another episode of the Happiness Squad podcast. We hope you found the insights actionable to enhance your journey towards happiness and fill your life with more joy, health, love and meaning. Please consider leaving us. Review and share the podcast with anyone in your professional or personal life who you feel will benefit from some of these very insights. It's a really simple way to extend support and spread positivity. Take care and remember, happiness is a choice that's available to you moment to moment in the here and now. Take care and see you next week.