E-Bikes Have Taken Over Los Angeles

In short order, you will see me and the rest of these e-biking maniacs take over downtown Los Angeles. This feels like cheating, man. We will flood the streets with our lithium steeds and break any number of laws. It's good that everyone's getting stoned before we go. Like the Hells Angels, if the Hells Angels were made in China. I've never seen so many different vehicles. This is not the sort of thing I would usually do.

Put the kickstand up. No, you're gonna be fine.

Hardly ever ride a normal bike, let alone an e-bike with a turbo boost button. I don't ride bikes very often, so I'm hoping to survive. And I'm full of the yearning for self-preservation that comes with middle age. Look at this one, man. Did you modify it, or this is how it comes? I just changed the handlebars and put pegs, but this is how it comes factory. Okay, that's sweet. How much does that cost? Um, $5,300. $5,300? Yeah. This is sweet, man. Joining an e-bike gang. Supposed to head off tour of LA on our e-bikes. These guys have much better e-bikes than, than, uh, they have motorcycles basically. I have a bicycle. Okay, how fast does it go max? They have 2 different versions. This one goes up to 80. So that cops don't fuck with you on this?

Uh, well, I mean, so far they haven't.

I find myself in this position because of this woman. There she is. Hello. Hi, how are you? I'm good. Her name is Kelly Chameleon. She's our e-bike gang leader and an Instagram and TikTok star. And tonight we're taking over LA to celebrate her birthday and my untimely demise. What are we doing tonight?

Well, tonight we're having a big group ride. It's my birthday.

Happy birthday.

Getting a lot of people together to ride bikes over the city.

Is this— where is this on the legality scale?

They're kind of starting to be treated a little bit more like a vehicle. There was a little bit of a Wild West era And now we're kind of moving away from that.

When we get to a park, you're gonna spin fire like you do it all.

I was in the circus. That is the way that I got into riding the electric unicycles, because, you know, clowns like unicycles.

Were you a clown?

I was— well, maybe not like a clown, but like, you know, a new clown. We're like less scary, more fun, you know?

Is this kind of like your main gig?

It's a passion of mine, and part of it for me is inspiring other women to not be afraid to like I like to go out into these kind of sometimes often male-dominated spaces and do these fun things because I think a lot of girls don't see, you know, this world and think that that's somewhere that they belong. But it's a lot of fun. And so I like to, you know, make content that shows people like the lifestyle you can have if you just kind of get outside and explore.

How do I scream for help?

I'll find some people to keep an eye out for you.

Okay.

All right.

Since this was a last-minute affair, I was borrowing a bike. This is my hog. was very much a bike when compared to these other people's supercharged machines of terror.

Do you want to try it?

Uh, I'm good right now. No brakes, don't need them. Just adrenaline and courage.

And you'll start to go.

There you go. See? I'm no coward. Well, I'm a slight coward, but still man enough to break some laws and put my soul on the line for you all.

Thank you everybody for coming out!

All right. Woo!

We're all here to have a good time. Everybody, make sure we're looking out for each other. Make sure that we are being safe.

And so after Kelly gave a rousing birthday speech— Happy birthday to you. It was time to ride. Ready to take over LA. Okay, we just go through there? I guess so. Oh, there we go. Oh shit, no! We made it. That was a little cray, man. And the ride capped off just as you would hope, with Kelly spinning fire Atop Elysian Park. You're the best kind of circus freak, Kelly. I found my people that night. This is how I commute to the office now. And the ride changed me on a deep, meaningful level. I need so much more from life now.