Be The Powerhouse: Overcome Your Fears and Go All In On Your Dreams

Hey, I'm so glad you're back. Welcome to the podcast. This week I am pumped because today we are answering a question that I feel like I get a lot. And I know every single one of you has probably had to answer this question in your own life at some point. And that is, how do I overcome my fears and go all in on my dream? Whether my dream is actually leaving my 9 to 5 and going in on my business or hiring or scaling to the next level of my business, or just overcoming whatever mental obstacle we're facing at the moment, today I'm pumped because my friend Lindsay Schwartz, who many of you know from Powerhouse Women or from Lindsay's own podcast, is coming in to talk about what she is also seeing with so many female entrepreneurs and the four most common fears that we all face. And then specifically for those of you who are wondering, when is it time? When is it time to take this next step and to do this big thing and to go all in on my dream, she's going to talk through how to decide when it's right for you. So my fellow Midwest is the best gal from Wisconsin. I am so pumped to have Lindsey on the show today. You guys are going to love her. She is as genuine as they come. Please help me welcome my friend, Lindsay Schwartz of Powerhouse Women. Let's talk about your business strategy and the juicy details of what actually works. From mainstream fashion to fashion on Main street and the entire ecosystem behind it. How do we scale your company and do it with the balance and the happiness that we all seek? Let's hear from those insiders, experts and strategists that actually make it happen. I'm your host, Ashley Alderson from the Boutique Hub and I can't wait to chat. Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast this week. I know if I've said this once, I've said it 500 times. And if you're from Texas, don't be offended. I'm gonna say it again, but it's Midwest is the best. And today to prove it, here on the podcast is Lindsay Schwartz. Lindsay, I'm so pumped you're here.

Woo hoo. I'm like fist pumping as you're saying that. Because it's just the truth. It just is.

You know, I just love like anytime I travel, especially in the boutique community, like I'm gonna get chastised for this because the majority of our audience is from Texas and I love you guys, but I you're so proud. Like, I love that about you. Like Texans, but like Midwest, like We gotta start rising up. We gotta start fist pumping, like, with some A's and some O's and you betchas and fish fries and you name it. So anytime I meet someone else from the Midwest, I'm always incredibly excited. And so when you and I made that connection, you were at the Boutique Summit this year. I was super pumped. So Wisconsinites collide today.

On the podcast, I always say it's like, it's science. It's just. It's an immediate best friend status. So I don't know if it's like that anywhere else. I think we're just too polite in the Midwest. We're like, oh, no, it's.

It's okay.

We'll let everyone else be the best. But the truth is, Midwest, Midwest girls rock. For sure. That's true.

What are other. Like when you travel or when people meet you and they're like, where are you from? Number one? Like, what are the things you think give it away in a hot second that you're from the Midwest? And what are the things like that people just, you know, notice about you that just stand out when you're from the Midwest? What's your opinion?

Oh, my gosh. Well, I do believe that when you collide with another Midwesterner, even if you've, like me, I've been gone from the Midwest, lived in Phoenix now for about 15 years. And the biggest compliment is when people are like, oh, I didn't even hear it in your accent. But the moment I get around someone who is from the Midwest, the long O's, or just those little dialects that give it away, that definitely comes out. What I would hope people would say is that I really do just love people so freaking much. And I think that's part of the Midwest culture. Like, I grew up watching my parents. We live. They live still. And we grew up in Green Bay, so right outside of Lambeau Field. And I had seen them on multiple occasions invite total strangers. There'd just be strangers at our house, having a beer and just, like, relaxing before the game. And I'm like, how do you know that person? And my dad's like, oh, he was, you know, just walking by and looked thirsty. And you do not do that. I remember moving to Phoenix and I opened the door for so many solicitors in the first six months of having my own house because I thought it was a neighbor coming to welcome me with a basket of goodies. It was not. So, you know, there's that. It's like the personable quality that I don't want to shy away from. But it was very different in Phoenix, that's for sure.

That is so awesome. I love that. It's like, my mom taught me once I got my driver's license, like, I should be careful waving at everybody in certain parts of the country because I just naturally wave. Like, you drive by, like, I'll wave, and then people are like, do you know that person? And I'm like, no, but why wouldn't you wave at them anyway? Like, I want them to have a good day, right? Hello.

Yes, I am with you. I still do it. And now I think I've done enough personal development where I don't get my feelings hurt if they don't wave back. I'm like, well, that's their loss because they. I am an amazing friend, so they could have. They could have been part of this world.

But nope.

So I definitely still do that. What else is there? I was just doing something the other day, and I was like, oh, wow, that was such a Midwest thing. Like, saying, sorry. So it's always, oh, sorry, you just bumped into me, but I just apologized to you. How does that work out?

I find myself at the grocery store doing that all the time. Oh, sorry. I was just looking. Oh, sorry. Yeah, that's a bad habit. I've got to break that habit.

I catch myself in it so many times, and, yeah, same. I'm on a mission to break it, and once in a while, it'll slip through.

Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm sure you can. From your vantage point, all the women that you meet on a daily basis and the women in your community, I'm sure you see all kinds of interesting habits or just, you know, pieces of culture come together and kind of collide. I love the conversation that we're about to have today because I feel like you and I come from very similar spaces where we're both leading communities of women. Lots of entrepreneurial spirits in our community. Mine just happens to be very specific to boutiques and to retailers, and you have the opportunity to serve women of all types in all different types of business. So this is going to be so much fun. Thank you again for coming on the podcast today. I'm curious. Let's start here. Today, just from your vantage point, what do you feel like some of the biggest challenges that you're seeing across your community right now of women in business, what are they facing? What are they dealing with, and how are we helping them overcome?

It's one of those things that I can think back to. What inspired me to start this conversation in this community in the first place, and this is still so true today, that I will meet incredibly talented women. Women who, when you meet them or when they share, like, this idea they have, or I've thought about creating this thing, those things that you hear and you're like, yeah, that needs to exist. How do we not? How's someone not already doing that? But then in the next breath, they'll share the reason why they don't feel ready, or they don't think they have what it takes, or they don't have a big enough audience. It's like on the other side of this big idea that is so apparent to everyone else around us that you're the one. You have the skills that are required in order to make that thing happen, or at least get it started. And that clearly you were inspired to start this, to have this idea in the first place. So there must be something in there for you. But it's so freaking easy to see the positives in someone else than it is to see in ourselves. And that was my experience, too. It was my experience for myself. And then as I started to meet more women who had big ideas or were at the beginning stages, they would share these fears, these doubts, these insecurities. And every single time, whether we'd be sitting for coffee or on a zoom call, it would be one of those conversations where I'd pause and I'd be like, hold on. Did no one tell you everything you're describing? I feel it all the time. Anyone you're looking up to right now feels that too. That's not your sign to stop. It's actually a sign you're getting dangerously close to your next breakthrough. And I think it's just so important. And this is why I love you. I love the way you lead is you lead this way, too, where you're equally aspirational and you're showing women what's possible, but you're very real about the parts that are still hard, because I've yet to. I don't know about you. I haven't gotten to the point where I never have fear or doubt or never second guess myself or not. A week goes by that I don't cry a few, Shed a few tears over something because I'm growing. And I think that the more conversations we have, the more honesty we share. It makes sure that those who are just in the beginning stages or about to go through, like, a big growth spurt, that's when it gets real uncomfortable. It makes sure that those people don't stop. Because the truth is, it's just as uncomfortable if you stop and you sit and wait in the discomfort as it is if you just lean in and you're like, well, screw it. I'm going to figure out my way through and grow in the process. Because that's ultimately, I think, what I've realized in 15 years of being an entrepreneur. It's not actually about the business I'm building. It's who I'm becoming in the process. And that's the woman that I'm really, really proud of.

Man, that's so good. That's so powerful. You're right. Because it's so easy to get lost in other people's opinions and the accomplishments and the. When I reach this stage, I'll finally be happy. And it's totally about the journey and pushing through the uncomfortable pieces to get where we need to go next. And you're right. That fear, man, I still feel it today as much as I felt it when I got started. I'm curious if you could categorize. Do you feel like there are fears that are most common in your community or in women entrepreneurs in general, and ways that we should address them? Yes.

And this is something I have spent so much time thinking about and boiling down, because what I get obsessed about is, okay, how can I give women tools? How can I apply tools for myself? Because I bump up against all of these things, too. But the more I started to have conversations with our community, with other entrepreneurs, you know what I realized? I realized it really kind of comes down to I drilled it down to four. I think there's even a couple of these that are, like, bigger for us than others. And what's funny. And I'm going to. I'll kind of unpack this. Because what I think we do is then I think we pretend that our challenge is we don't have enough time or we're overwhelmed or these other things that feel safer to say that that's what's in our way. But what we're not doing is we're not saying, you know what? I'm scared. I'm bumping up against myself. I feel like a total imposter. And that was my life. I had created this life where I was really afraid to push into that discomfort. But what I did instead is I filled my schedule with a lot of busy so that no one could ever challenge me on the fact that I wasn't really tapping into my full potential. So I think bringing that honesty and that self awareness first and Foremost not to say, I mean, all of us have busy schedules. You have children and a business and, you know, no one would look at either of our lives and say that we're lazy. But I had to find that honesty for myself of saying, is this really that I'm overwhelmed or. Yes, I'm probably not managing my schedule according to what my goals are, but what's really underneath that. And it was almost always one of these four things. Number one being, and this was the biggest for me was the fear of criticism and fear of what other people are going to think and what are they going to think if I succeed, what are they going to think if I fail? The whole gamut. So fear of that criticism or judgment or just the disappointing people. And that can be real because relationships are messy. And I always say when you're going kind of to a new level in business, there's inevitably things that can't come with. Sometimes it's a habit or a train of thought or a belief. Sometimes it is a relationship, and that is tough. I'm actually in it right now with a relationship that means a lot to me and I'm going through through it. So that one has always had a really, really strong hold. I have to be aware of where I'm making decisions based on trying to avoid the fear of disappointing someone else versus really managing that and doing what I know is right for myself, for this vision. That's the biggest one, the other one that I see all the time, and I'm seeing this a lot in my community. I wonder if you see it too. I kind of categorize it as like the fear of uncertainty. Now, how it shows up your specific flavor. Those of you listening might be, tell me if this is you, like perfection getting ready to get ready. You're always kind of in the planning for that next big thing versus doing it faster and less perfectly to just get it out there. So this fear of uncertainty or Right. Yes. And again, I'm like, I have a story for every one of these. I have definitely been through every single one. So the fear of uncertainty or feeling like you need to have this perfectly laid out plan before you can take step one that can really grip people, especially in the beginning stages. Then as we move on, I think there's this always present fear of being an imposter, right? That imposter syndrome. Because if you think about it, I'm sure you right now, I know I do have a vision for your brand that's bigger than the person you are today. So there's always a gap between who I am now and who I need to become in order to fulfill the next part of my vision. So it's normal to feel like an imposter. In fact, if you don't, I would push back and say that those of you listening, if you're not feeling at least a little bit like, can I really do this? I bet you haven't scratched the surface of what you're actually capable of. I don't think you've even reached that point. If you can look at what's in front of you and say, yep, I got this. What if the vision expanded a little bit to make you that just perfect in between? Amount of uncomfortable where it stretches you, you grow. But it also reminds you that, like, this is. This is the path, right? The journey itself is what we're here for. So that's the third one. And then here's something that I see with women who have had success in another area. I had a previous business, and this one almost took me out of the game when I had a vision for what I've built now with this community. And it's the fear of being a beginner where, especially if you came from a world where you've had success, you have recognition, maybe you're making great money, but you know, that's not your place anymore. But you have this other vision that doesn't have any certainty in what it's going to turn into, but you just know. It's like, I think back, I just knew I was being pulled in this other direction. And what I had to give up was all of the things on the surface that I thought I wanted, right? Those external things. And I had to go back to being a beginner. I had never started a podcast. I had never done an event. I knew how to do my previous business, and I liked how that felt. That felt comfortable to me. So that fear of being a beginner and not wanting to kind of like, humble ourselves back to square one, I think stops a lot of people in fully reaching the potential that they could have. So when I hear from my community, the things that get in people's way, almost always it comes back to one of those four things. Without fail, I can usually drill it down and bring it back to one of those four.

That's so good. That is so good. I hope everyone today just jotted them down. I feel like that's such a good point, and I'm curious how you encourage your community to live this, but it's such a good point of just Journaling on a daily basis, like when you have that stress, when you have that anxiety, like, why is this bothering me? And then just asking, is it one of these four? And then what can I do to overcome it? If it is one of these four, are there other ways you would suggest just kind of going through a process of analyzing that in our own lives on a daily basis?

Okay, so this is so good and I'm glad that you circled back to. But how do we. Okay, so if we become aware, then what do we frigginate do about it?

Okay.

Because I don't want to leave you just hanging with this awareness. Because I think what also can happen. I love personal development. And if I'm not careful, I even use that to procrastinate where I'm like, well, let me just sit here and analyze why I'm so afraid of stepping out there and having my negative aunt who doesn't like anything in the world. Why would she like my business? But I'm going to sit here and try to figure out, no, we don't want to do that. We want to have the self awareness to say, right, like how is this showing up in my life? But. But here's what I have also found. I think inside of whatever kind of your biggest, let's just call it your Achilles heel, that thing that just trips you up. And for me, like I said, the people pleasing, the fear of criticism that is kind of in different forms always one of my biggest roadblocks, hurdles to overcome. It doesn't mean that I just overcome it once and I never have to deal with it. It kind of changes outfits and comes back. I always say it's like the movie Bridesmaids where she puts on the sunglasses and she's trying to away with being in first class. And she's like, no, it's not me, it's Mrs. Iglesias. So it's like our fears do that too. So they just come back, but in kind of like a different, in a different outfit. And they're like, hi, I'm a new fear. And you're like, no, you're not. This is the same thing is to realize, I believe. And I had this awareness for myself. I had this huge aha. Coaching someone else. It's always so much easier to see it in someone else's life. That I think on the other side of the thing that we think is stopping us, that we think is getting in our way, is actually a clue to our biggest, one of our biggest strengths. So for me, I can tend to get way too concerned about the opinions of others. But on the other side of that is the fact that I really do care. This is why I'm great at building community. People can feel it. They know that I actually do care about them individually. I want to know what's going on in their lives and I want to help them. Now, what can happen. I always think of it like a pendulum, right? So I have to always just be aware. Am I in my strength? Am I really leading from that place of genuinely caring, having my heart wide open? Yes. I might get hurt, Someone might not like me or might not think my motivations are true. That's one of the risks that I take to just have my heart open and lead the way that I lead. But I have to be careful of when it swings to the other side of that same trait, which is I care where I can start to care too much and base my decisions on, well, what are other people going to think about this? So if you struggle with people pleasing tendencies, realize that you don't have to, because I think what I thought, I honestly believed that I had to get to the point of not caring. Now you tell someone who struggled with people pleasing to not care. That's like telling someone not to breathe air. And some people really don't. I remember like talking this through with my husband and he's like, I just, I really like, I love you so much. And I don't understand why you care like that this person doesn't like you. And it was in that moment that I was like, yeah, why do I. Why is it two people can have such a different relationship with it? So instead of trying to be less of myself, which is less of that strength, that I do care, what if I just start to become aware of when I'm on the healthy end of that spectrum versus the unhealthy side of that spectrum, Same trait, which is putting a little too much emphasis on trying to make other people happy. Okay, so for those of you that struggle with people pleasing, I want you to first acknowledge you don't have to be less of who you are. You don't have to be calloused or not care. You actually, the fact that you care, I bet, is your superpower. Just make sure that it's caring for the. It's caring in a way that furthers your vision. It doesn't start to make you second guess yourself. Same thing with fear of uncertainty, that perfectionistic tendency. I bet those of you who really wrestle with that, I bet you have really, really high Standards. You are the person who when you do something, you do it to the best and biggest of your ability. That is probably the thing that makes you successful. And so realizing there's a healthy trait in that. But then there's also a point where you have to say, like you said so perfectly done better than perfect. And what if I get this 70% of the way there and then launch it and perfect it as I go versus thinking that we're ever going to get to some 100%. Because I bet your 70% is like other people's 150. So for you, maybe it's 60%, maybe it's 70. Like when I get it 70% of the way there, I launch it no matter what. And yes, it's going to feel friggin uncomfortable because I like to be perfect. Actually, I launched my first book, this is like the epitome of learning Done is better than perfect. Had it professionally edited by several people launched it and the moment we hit bestseller status on Amazon, my publisher called and she said, lindsay, I'm sick to my stomach. Which was not what I thought she was going to say, but she said there's a typo on the COVID I remember because I had really, really adopted this. Done is better than perfect. I'm going to get it. I'm going to put out the best thing that I know how and trust that whatever happens is for me and it's for others. You better believe in that moment, I either had a choice to beat myself up because it wasn't perfect or laugh about it and know that this is going to be an amazing story to share on podcasts. And obviously we got it, we got it updated. But it was the perfect thing like test from the universe to say, did you really learn this lesson is done really better than perfect. And that imperfect book went on to create this entire community and global movement that people see now. What if I would have said, oh my gosh, that wasn't perfect, Let me pull back and not share this with the world. So whatever your fear is, I want you to look what within that is actually for you for your growth or and I think it's an and tied to something that's actually your biggest strength. And that helped me really move through instead of feeling like I can't be successful if I have this fear. No, no, no, it's how do I bring this fear along with me into this next season of growth? So I bet you have so many stories like that too. I know you're always growing yourself, but it man, it's a trip. It never ends.

It never ends. Oh, my gosh, I love that story. Thank you for sharing. And those are so. Those are so powerful. And I think it's so refreshing to just say, you know, a lot of times we're at odds with our fears or we're constantly fighting our fears. But what if, like you said, you just looked at it as, oh, hello, like really our fear is here to protect us from something. Right. But our fear really is probably wrapped up in one of our greatest strengths. So that's a really good piece of perspective. I'm assuming you can take that idea and really make and build and grow from there to make that your source of confidence.

Right.

So how do you see women moving from that place of fear into making that their powerhouse?

Right.

And making that their place of confidence? How do they find that?

Ooh, gosh, if we could just bottle that up and sell it to people, we would be bajillionaires. I think kind of along with that realization that I had to come to for myself, seeing my own strength within the fear, or the thing that I thought was an inadequacy, starting to ask myself, well, maybe, maybe this is part of my story because it's meant to be a part of my impact. What is it that I think makes me inadequate? That it had to be a part of my story so that I could make the biggest impact. And I, you know, along with kind of like the fear of what other people were going to think, definitely the perfectionism I just, I wanted. I have such high standards for myself and my life and whatever I put out there that I know and I have that self awareness piece, I'm going to keep bringing it back because I think it's always about deepening the level of understanding you have about yourself. But it's realizing that had I put out the perfect book or built this business that just overnight was successful and never struggled, do you know how unrelatable I would be? So for you, can you look at your own story and see how what you think makes you inadequate actually makes you more relatable? It gives you the foundation to make a bigger impact. And it does not matter if you are coaching and mentoring women like we do or if you are selling products on the Internet, you are what make your business so special. And people connect with you, whether or not they can physically see you in your brand, like you're the front facing. They feel you, they feel your authenticity. And I think when we can stop being afraid of letting our inadequacies I'll use air quotes because I don't think that they actually are. But the things that we feel make us inadequate. If we can start to realize that those actually make us relatable. Like, when was the last time that you saw someone whose life was perfect? Their butt was perfect. They never wake up with crazy hair. I look like a troll doll. Cause I have short hair. So I wear my hair up and it just sticks straight up. I look like a troll doll when I wake up. You know, when was the last time you saw someone whose life was so perfect and you said, gosh, I just relate to them. I just feel seen by them. Probably not.

No. No, not at all. And, you know, it's funny, like, as I hear you say this, and I go back to us joking about being from the Midwest. This was like my whole. Like, a big part of my story for starting the Boutique Hub was I felt like, gosh, I'm from the Midwest. That's not relatable. Everybody else is from LA or New York or, you know, fashion is this and fashion is that, but what about the rest of us? And that was a real. It was a fear of mine. But then come to find out, like, I turned that around. And that has really been a big piece of the Boutique Hub is.

You know what?

No. Boutiques are the thing that connect everybody to fashion. No matter where you're from. Midwest or Texas. Hello, Texas or anybody else. And so now that is a huge strength of ours. So that's so true. That's absolutely lived out in my life as well.

And listen, again, I'm not here to tell anyone that I used to struggle with all of this and never feel it anymore. I keep finding myself limiting what I think I'm worthy of, what I think is available to me. Downplaying my own success and thinking, well, I could never connect with that person. Every day I have to catch myself having those thoughts and then come back to, but why? But really, who says? And usually it's just me. I'm the only one. I'm the one who's saying what's possible, what's not possible. And I just think that's so cool. I just love being. I love building business because it forces me to get to know myself and discover new things, to just make me like a more awesome human being, a more effective person. And I'm just really obsessed with that journey. The playground that I get to learn on just happens to be business. So I think when we can bring that almost that playful energy, that curious energy, Instead of being so hard on ourselves about the things that we have to overcome, that's where the sweet spot is. That's where you stop struggling against the thing that you struggle with. Right. You stop struggling against your own habits and beliefs, and instead you're like, oh, cool. I just learned that this is something that I still get to overcome. I wonder what's waiting for me on the other side of this. So it really helped me because I can be very hard on myself to start bringing more of that playful energy and treat it like a game. It actually is fun when I get to learn and overcome something. It's just not always super fun. Right in the middle. It's like a really tough workout when you're sweating and you hate your trainer, you hate it, but then when you're done, you feel amazing. Yes.

We talk a lot in the Boutique Hub about how business is a game. It's a great game of business. And if you're not winning, you're learning. If you're not winning, you're learning. Yeah. Always opportunity. I'm sure you get this question a lot, Lindsay, and this question is so related to all these fears. I'm sure they're all tied up in this question, but do you have a lot of people in your community that come to you and they're like, hey, I have this steady career. I have this nine to five, right. That's paying the bills. But now I want to start this business. I have this dream. And when is the tipping point? Like, when is the point that I leave my career and I go all into this business and then all these fears are coming up? Right? What's your answer to that? How do you help people through that journey from actually, like, quitting the job and going all in on business?

Ooh, I just got chills as you were describing that, because I can every time, so vividly remember being in that place for myself. And right now, in actuality, my husband is going through that transition. I was actually right before I hopped on here, we were talking about his exit date and our strategy. And what's crazy is we know we have the evidence from going all in on the vision that I started to know what happens on the other side of making that leap. And we still are, like, scared, and we feel all the feels, and we know that this discomfort now is. It's a sign that we're about to grow again, and we're about to throw ourselves out into the unknown of, well, what is this going to look like? So a couple of things, because I Do think it's different for everyone? Number one, I want to acknowledge that it depends on what your life looks like. So if you are single and the sole provider for yourself or your family, that's going to look different from someone. I had the blessing of having a two income household. We don't have children yet, so I had a little bit of a different scenario where we could afford to be a little bit more risky. So you just have to know for yourself there's no right or wrong way. And then I think back to self awareness. I think it's knowing how you show up as your best. Are you someone who's like burn the ships and I'm going to figure it out or if you left too early, is that going to actually create an unhealthy amount of pressure? Because there is something to be said when we start to take this thing that's our passion. It's our passion project. We love it. And now all of a sudden there's the added pressure of this has to pay for my livelihood. Sometimes it makes it less fun. It really does. And so I think it's a very individual decision. But some of the things to consider leading up to it are the very left brain. I'm like stereotypical, I don't know, Capricorn, firstborn, very calculating and making sure I have my spreadsheets and all the things. What does your life look like? Where could you cut back if you needed to if you really just are so restless. I don't know if you actually know this about me. My first job that I got straight out of college, leaving.