Boutique Chat #023 | Embracing Failure & Surviving | Kelsey Darby - The Lace Cactus

Get ready for episode number 23 of Boutique Chat with the reigning Global Boutique of the Year, Kelsey Darby and the Lace Cactus from Hico, Texas. Let's talk about your business strategy and the juicy details of what actually works, from mainstream fashion to fashion on Main street and the entire ecosystem behind it. How do we scale your company and do it with a balance and the happiness that we all seek? Let's hear from those insiders, experts, and strategists that actually make it happen. I'm your host, Ashley. Ashley Alderson from the Boutique Hub, and I can't wait to chat. Hey, guys, get ready for an emotional and fulfilling and inspiring episode this week. I can't wait to share this story with you because we're chatting with Kelsey Darby, the owner and founder of the Lace Cactus, which is currently the Global Boutique of the Year, named in the 2017 Boutique Awards, which are just relaunching for 201818 this week. So there's never been a better time to visit with Kelsey and to hear all about her story. From being a single mother at 19 and dreaming about starting her own business and exactly how she did it from home and selling almost everything she had to make this business work. Now, this isn't just a Cinderella story of starting from literally nothing and building something amazing, but it's also a story of what happens when you get to the top and things fall apart, which they definite can. We're talking about business issues, we're talking about marriage issues and family issues and what it's like to have it all, lose it all, and then figure out how to get it back again. Kelsey has been so honest and so transparent with her journey, not just on this podcast where she's honestly sharing more on this podcast than I even knew existed. She's told me this story, but she goes into so much more depth in this show than we're even aware of. I'm so proud of her authenticity and her ownership of what her journey has really looked like. And I think you're going to appreciate this open Raw interview with Kelsey as well. Now, this girl has accomplished so much in such a short period of time. I'm so proud of what she's done with this business and she's so humble on top of it. So I hope you listen to this episode and you keep a couple things in mind. I hope you know that everyone starts somewhere and that you should never, ever compare your journey to someone else's. Never compare your beginning to someone else's middle. And also remember that even though things can look so glossy and perfect. On social media, there's often more to this story. So, guys, enjoy this episode with Kelsey. She is such a class act, and I know you're gonna love it.

All right. Hey, guys, welcome back to the Boutique Chat podcast.

This week, I am so lucky to be joined by Kelsey Darby, our reigning global Boutique of the year winner for the lace cactus.

Hey, girl.

Welcome to the show. Hey, thanks for having me. So I can't wait.

We should have done this interview a long time ago. This has been a long time coming.

Yeah.

You guys, such an awesome story to share and so many, like, pivotal points along the way that I know everyone listening is going to be able to take something away from and say, wow, that really applies to me in my life. But I want to start really at the high point of where you are now, because we were just talking beforehand that even since I last saw you at the Boutique Summit, how your business has grown even more, and it's going so well. Right. Fourth move of your warehouse, your brick and mortar and online sales are blowing up. You spoke with the summit. All good things. Tell me about that.

Yeah, Everything right now is going really, really good. We are in our fourth warehouse move, which has been a lot. There's definitely. I know everybody's experienced growing pains, and it's been a little bit painful, but it's all been very well worth it. This new place has really allowed us to grow in a huge way, which we've never been able to. We actually have room now where we're not tripping over each other, which is a blessing. And everything is just going really good right now. And I should knock on wood for that because I've definitely seen it when it's not good. But for now, everything is just flowing, and I'm dedicating so much more time and energy and balancing. Better. It's like everything overall is just doing better. And like I said, I've seen that go. So I'm really enjoying it while it's here and dedicating all I can to hopefully keep this going and keep keep moving up.

Absolutely. Well, you definitely deserve it, that's for sure.

Because like you said, you've seen the.

Highs and the lows, which is some of these growing opportunities you mentioned due to space. Right. You can order more, but I'm curious to know what were some of the other things that you started doing that's really kind of changed in the last three months, Your business, really. To make it grow even more. Right.

For us. I think one, taking a little more time on the pictures. I do all of our photos. I model all the clothes. But as you all know, being a business owner, when it's busy, it's really hard because you're dirty from unboxing all the new stuff and you're trying to help do this and that and you're trying to do the paperwork and you're trying to get pictures and it's hard. But I think realizing that I can't do it all and I need to find what's the most valuable part of my job and what is everybody else's job if we don't have stuff to sell and we can't sell it without a picture. So I have learned to take more time and get a little more detail, you know, with the photos and try a little harder and not just rush through it and walk outside and take it. And also along with that, our image is getting out more Facebook ads. It's something I've always kind of had a love hate relationship with. I've actually, I had done, you know, lots of research on it, everything and just couldn't figure it out. I don't know if it was. I wasn't taking the time or what it was, but I branched out into that. The summit. I learned so much and that was one of the things. And I took some of what I learned there and paired it up with what I felt would work. Instead of just going with what, you know, whoever was speaking said works, I just went with what, you know, a few things of what they said tied in with what I believe would work. And it's, it's just worked and, and you know, dedicating more time to Instagram and the other platforms and not just Facebook and sending more emails and sending out, you know, text blasts and just being all over and not just in dedicating all our time into one area, but spreading it out and making sure that we're hitting all the stops. And that has helped us grow tremendously.

That's awesome. Your business has definitely become more multidimensional, I would say even from an outsider's perspective, I can see that change that's taking place.

Oh, that's awesome to hear.

Yeah.

So let's go back to the very beginning because we have a lot of story to share and a lot of actionable takeaways on how you went from point A to point B. But I'd love for people to know how you got started on this journey in the first place.

OK. Well, I was 19 years old when I started. Feels like a million years ago. And I was a stay at home mom. And actually there's a part of this story I've never told, but I was working at a fabric store and they set up this bow making class and I had learned how to make bows online. That's actually where this all began because I had Aubrey and I was making bows for her. And so I started making money by teaching people how to make bows at this fabric store. And I would sell my bows, you know, to people and friends. And that's kind of where it actually started. I know that I did all the crafts and stuff like that, but it all really started with me making my daughter hair pose. Because I had a business that was near us. She was using Facebook and she was selling bows. And I would see people comment. It was like the first time I'd ever seen that people were commenting and buying her bows, like right on Facebook. And I thought, I can do that. That's really cool. But you know, I didn't, I didn't have money like at all. And I really, really wanted this like since I was just to do something selling. And it was always my passion was clothes. But obviously when you are a 19 year old mom, you don't really have a lot of money. So I had to get creative. And I've always been really crafty. So I started just making anything I could. I would like rummage through my mom's barn or my grandma's garage or my garage, or really anything anybody would give me, I would take it. And so I could revamp it and make money because that money was going to go towards buying clothes. And eventually it got to. And so it all started in my garage making these crafts from stuff people would give me. And I eventually had enough money to start buying clothes. And I actually then got to start my real dream. My dream was not to be in my garage making crafts, but that's where it started. And you know, anything you got to do, just do it for your dream. So I did that and it was lots of hot nights and lots of spray paint. It was not always fun, but sometimes you got to do stuff you're not super crazy about to get to where.

You want to be.

And that is where I started. And I was doing all this, like out of my house, I was doing. I started a Facebook page for the Lace Cactus and I opened up a little booth and I would sell my stuff out of there. I didn't have any clothes at that time, but I would post these signs I would make and people just went crazy over them. It was in the first week. I got like a thousand likes, and I couldn't keep up with these orders. It was unreal how quick these orders were coming in. And I would invoice them through PayPal and it just blew up. And, you know, eventually I got to do the close part, which was, you know, the. The whole point of it. But, yeah, it all started at my house.

So how long were you doing that online with that first Facebook before you moved into your first storefront?

Okay, so I actually didn't. I was 19 then, so I didn't move into my first storefront until 2014. So by then, I'd already had my second child. I done all of this out of my living room, and I actually. My son slept with me every night, and when he was a baby, so I used his room as, like, my tiny little warehouse. And I had all my stuff in there, like, in his closet. I was so small. There would be, like, little packs of clothes, but as soon as I would get it, I would sell it, you know, and I was not doing business right then. It was more like, I'm just trying to make money to make it through this week, if that makes sense. Like, I didn't. There was no long term plan. I was kind of just like, just posting it so, you know, we could pay our bills at that time. But, yeah, eventually I was able to get my first storefront. I will. I will never forget that day. I walked in that door, and there was a For Rent sign on the door. And this woman. I had grown up going in there my entire life. And I'm a huge believer that everything happens for a reason. And nobody in a million years would ever think she would sell this building. She. It's her favorite. I mean, she owns a lot of buildings, but this one, she had her little fudge shop in, and she is so attached to that place. And when I saw that For Rent sign, it blew me away, because that was my dream building. And I walked through the door and the For Rent sign fell to the ground. And she didn't even ask me any questions because I've known her since I was a child. And she was like, this place is meant for you. And it has been. It was unreal. I will never forget that she cried. I mean, it was such a crazy moment that happened. I dreamed of that my entire life. I grew up downtown, walking up and down the streets. My grandmother had a business down there. And for that to happen was so surreal. It was really need.

That's so cool. And it's so in case someone's listening, they don't know, this is downtown Hico, Texas, and you stay in the same location, correct?

Yes. Yeah, we are still there, man. So talk about.

I remember. Let's go back to your Facebook page at the time, because I think I've told you this and have told this story. I remember when I first found you on Facebook and it was like, the lace, like, crack. Like, these women were so crazy to get your stuff. It was. I would, like, type my email address in there when you were launching new arrivals and be like, I'm just gonna see if I can one. Which was right, because, I mean, you.

Still have to pay.

But if I got to actually have something shipped to me, I was winning, right?

Right. Yeah. It was crazy. And sometimes I think back on that and I'm like, I'm not even sure if half the time they even wanted what they were buying. They just wanted something. It was like this weird lottery that they. He was crazy. And I mean, seriously, I would post. We would tell them, you know, eight o'. Clock. And I wish I could have seen how many women were just waiting by their phones at that time. Because I remember I would, like, post a top and I would hit refresh, and there would be, like, a hundred comments. It was the craziest thing, and sometimes I miss it. But then I remember all the invoicing and, you know, all of that. So I don't really. And it's hard to get that back now. We're more. That. That was really fun and really exciting, and I love that. And people don't ever, like, believe me when I tell them just how crazy it was. But I think now it's just, like, the consistency of it. We're more solid. Like, that was really fun and exciting, but, gosh, that whole deal, it just not having the website, it was hard. And I didn't even have a storefront at that when I first started doing that. But, yeah, that was a lot of fun back then, doing that. Do you think that part of.

I think about your story and, like.

Why or how did that happen?

Because I'm always trying to, like, reverse strategize, you know, this process.

But I think what you were doing.

That no one else was really doing at the time was just being you. You were just real and so open with your customers, and they were that.

Mm, absolutely. I think that. And I. And I sometimes I sit, I just think about it all. But I'm such an open person. I believe, you know, everybody's human and it's okay if you've got flaws, and it's okay that you don't do everything right. And I really embrace that. I am so far from perfect. I make mistakes daily. And so for me, just be human. It's ok. Like, you're going to do things that are wrong and you're going to do things. You're going to mess up and you're going to fail. And with my customers, they were like my friends. I didn't really have a lot of friends, and I've always been kind of reserved. I'm just. It's not that I'm like, picky. I just. I really care about who I surround myself with because I really feed off of, like, good vibes and stuff. And so with me, I kind of found like, a friendship and all of these women and I could go on there and talk about, you know, I was pregnant and tell them about, you know, like, this awesome doctor's appointment I had or, you know, we're getting to start, you know, decorating Ben's room before he was born, you know, and, you know, or in. Just tell them, like, hey, I'm really not feeling good today and I'm not going to get all these invoices done today. Or, you know, the. The shipments are going to be a day delayed. And they always understood. My customers were like my friends. And I think that has been. It was definitely not like a strategy. That's just how I am. Like, I will tell, you know, I will talk to anybody and tell them anything because if, you know, if somebody holds something you say against you, that's. That's on them. I mean, as long as you're just being yourself, it's okay. And so for me, I just always have put that into my business and just been myself. And, you know, if I'm down or if I'm failing, it's okay. Like, they will relate to that. Just tell them. And some people, you know, for a long time, like, nobody really put their stories out there. And I think that was something different, you know, that I did. And I was very open about how I started that, number one. And I think I don't like to, you know, think about. I just kind of roll with it. But I seriously, I hope at least that my story of how I started, like, from nothing, I really believe and at least from the messages I get a lot, that it inspired women that they don't have to have a lot of money or a college degree or anything to become what they want to be and to start a business. And you know, I've had a lot of people come forward and tell me like that your story really inspired me to go for it. And I was always scared to because I didn't have, you know, this big savings account or you know, a degree in marketing or anything like that. And I kind of proved to a lot of women like you, you can do it and it doesn't matter. Like, I was, you know, the stay at home mom at 19 and I was able to make it happen. And always putting that story out there, people just fed off that they loved it because they could relate. And, and I think that number one, that's, that's what really is drawn our customers and their loyalty to me because they, they have somebody to relate to. And so it's not just a computer screen.

You bet. You know, I remember when we first like talked about your story, even on the Boutique Hub, we did a blog post about you. And still to this day, that's one of the most viewed blog posts that we have. Really?

Wow, that's crazy. That's really cool though.

And the title is how a 19 year old stay at home mom built this huge boutique empire. Right?

Yeah. That's really cool. I didn't know that. That's awesome though.

So let's talk about what happened next because you had this, you know, Cinderella growth story happening and started to expand the business. You opened a second location, bought a jewelry company and things began to change. Change. Tell us what happened next. Okay.

Yes, there for me that was, there was a huge turning point for me. And it did go from being like on top of the world. And I remember it was really crazy when I look back on it. And I felt so empty at that time. That's really sad because I had so much and I had this amazing online business. I had two storefronts, I had this jewelry company. I was living like every girl's dream, seriously. But I think for me, I don't know if it's that I took it for granted or what things happen. And I. Sometimes I put a lot of like guilt on myself. Like, did I. Was I ungrateful for what I had or did I take. I don't know. But I know that for me the numbers were just not good. They were so bad. And even though we were so big and all this was going on, it just kind of. It's like this waterfall effect. Like I. Things weren't going good. Oh, I should definitely buy a jewelry company that'll make it better and let the business that's already not Doing that. Great pay for for it. Horrible idea. Well, then that didn't do good. It was three and a half hours away, and I was not in the best place of my life. It was a really hard time for me. I had a lot going on in my personal life, and I think a lot of those things I was doing, like the, you know, buying the jewelry company and then not ever going down there. I just was not in anything that I had. My heart was nowhere. And doing that and then. And then, because that was failing, trying to open up this storefront. I just wanted to feel the success that everybody saw. But I was hurting myself. And I just kept adding on and adding on, and I felt nothing for it. I had no heart. I had no feeling for it. I honestly, I may have been kind of depressed. Honestly, I mean, seriously. And I would. I'm not one to, like, admit that, and it's something I should be able to own, but it was just a really hard time for me, and I was so blind to what was going on in my life and in my business. And I just kind of put on this smile and posted these cute pictures on Facebook. Like, everything was great and it wasn't at all. And it all kind of snowballed down. And for me, I ended up getting a divorce and then really got into a dark place. It was so hard. And I just kind of got buried further and further. And when I think back at that time, I can just, like, see myself in, like, sinking sand and just trying to, like, get my head above to breathe. And I just kept sinking further and further and there was no way out. And at that point, I really, truly did become depressed. And I never wanted to leave my house. I didn't even think about the numbers. I didn't even think about how much money I was spending on keeping all these places alive. And that I. Once I shifted the money around, I didn't even have money to pay for my bills. I mean, it just got worse and worse and worse until there was no money for anything, Nothing. And came down to this point, and there I am, like, laying in bed, trying to hide from the world, and I'm like, wow, they're turning my electricity off. This sucks. And I'm laying there doing nothing. And I could see how much it was hurting the people around me. I had let my employees go, my family, the people that, you know, depended on me in this big business that they all saw. And I kept saying so much from them. I never told them. And I still, like, I kept it so secret. What was going on. And I let them go. And I had to sell my. I had to sell Sookie. And I didn't get near, you know, what I wanted to out of that. And then I had to sell my second storefront. And when I went to show her that building, the electricity was off. We were walking around with flashlights, and I had to make something up about their working on electricity, but everybody else around me had electricity, so it was obviously a lie. I'm sure she wondered. But it was. It was depressing. Like, it was really sad. And I. You know, even up until that, I mean, I had my haiku storefront closed, like, all during Halloween, all during Christmas. Everyone's asking questions. Everybody's wondering what's going on, and I'm just hiding out. And so I started making all these moves. And that day, I mean, I remember that feeling when they turned off my electricity, and I was like, here. I just went from the top of the world, and I'm gonna have to borrow money to pay my light bill. Like, this is crazy. What have I done? And it just. It just woke me up. And I realized, like, I have nothing right now, and I've gotta. I've got to make so many changes. And I can't even explain, honestly, it's so much to even talk about. But I did all that. I started selling and I started doing all this stuff. And you messaged me that day and wanted me to speak at the 2017 summit. And this goes deep into my life, but my sister, and this may be a little too personal, and she's open with it now, and she has recovered, and it's been an amazing thing. She had attempted suicide right before that and was really injured, and she was living with me. She didn't have a home. She didn't have anything. My dad, he has struggled with drug addiction his entire life, and he was in jail. And honestly, it felt like, could anything seriously get worse? Like, what can happen? I know. I know that there's much worse things could happen, but honestly, I just felt like my world was on fire and I'm broke. I got my sister living with me. I'm dealing with my dad, and he's trying to ask me for help. It was so. It was so much. And honestly, at that time, my divorce, like, the end of that was not good. We are better now. My dad is better now for the first time and 40 years. My sister is better. She has a place. Everything, like, started leveling off, but I just got really sidetracked. I started to talk about the summit. And I just went into all that deep stuff. But like I said, there's like so much to go into this story. And this is not a sob story. This actually is a really great story. And it ends really awesome, by the way. But you did call me that day and, and I was like putting along and things were going good, but they weren't. They, they were far from great yet. And honestly, after everything was said and done, after I paid off all my debts, after I paid off all my bills and I paid all these, you know, different people back, I paid the bank, I paid this person, I paid off my PayPal loan that I had. It felt like I had so much money out, everything I sold it, went to it. So if you're listening to this, you're like, well, you sold the business and you sold that. You must have a ton of money. No, I did not have a ton of money. Actually had to go to the bank and say, hey, I know I owe this large sum of money. Can I give you this? And then in the end, can I. Can you give me $10,000 so I can start my business over? I wrote, sat down and typed up a four page letter to the board at the bank, brought it to them, spilled my story and what I was going to do and how I was going to make it work. And they gave it to me. And I have no idea why, but they did. And I took that money, paid off everybody I could, and I had like $5,000, 75 or 5,000, and I put it towards merchandise and I just started turning it around. And little by little, we were, you know, kind of just putting along. I opened the store back up. You called me that day and you wanted me to come and speak. And I was definitely not good yet. We didn't even have a website anymore. I didn't have a warehouse, I didn't even have any employees. Like, it was at the saddest point of the business and you wanted me to come and talk and I wanted to be like, ashley, hell no. Like, I cannot do this. And I actually started to. I went to type up that letter that day to say, hey, I'm sorry, I just can't. I wasn't going to get into it with you, want you to hear my sob story, but I just, just didn't want to. And you announced that I would be there to speak. I was like, oh my God, here we go. But I have this like animal instinct in me that I, I don't want people, I don't want to Let people down. And so I just started working and I got this momentum that I told myself, you're going to go and you're going to talk and you're going to have a good story to tell, and you're not going to have this big, sad story of your business and how it was failing. Like, you're going to have something good to talk about. And I made it my goal and it happened. And I just flipped as much stuff as I possibly could. I sold. I would stay down there at my store until my eyes were, like, about to fall out. I mean, I seriously worked so hard. I had eliminated all of my bills. I got rid of cable, which I still don't have, and I. I ended up. I sold everything. I cleaned up my closet, my kids closets. I sold basically anything I could. I mean, aside from, like an organization. I sold it all. And I just kept going. And everything I sold, I was able to turn into merchandise and sell it and make more money and just keep making more money. And that just helped the business grow. I kept myself from getting into that. I dedicated all to the business. I didn't buy things for myself. I just put it towards the business. And. And it worked. And here I am. Sorry, I just rambled and rambled on that, and there's probably a million things I didn't cover, but. Oh, man, no.

I'm over here on an emotional roller coaster just listening to you. So it's pretty amazing to hear. I had no idea, Kelsey, that, I mean, some of the story, but, wow, I didn't know a lot of that. So that touches me in a whole new way. And a lot of people can relate to that having been. Do you think, like, when you started to turn it around and this is all before summit. Correct. Like, when you made that decision, do you think part of that success starts first with mindset and just deciding?

Yeah, absolutely. You know when you're. When you're sitting in your home and you have a failing business or you're failing at something and you just want to shut yourself off from the world, you're not going to get anywhere. You're not. And once you just embrace the fact that you are failing and now you. You've got to go, like, you got to make this work. And my mindset changed so much. Honestly, I don't even recognize that person I was then and how I felt. And I eliminated everything that made me unhappy. Everything. If. Even if it was somebody on Facebook and their post just rubbed me so wrong. Like, why get rid of them? Stop looking at their posts. They rub you wrong. Eliminate them. They don't know you, and you're just reading their stuff and it's bothering you, like, move on and, you know, or people that. That were, like, maybe nice to my face, but I knew they were, like, talking behind my back. Just let. Don't even talk to them. Just move on and just surround yourself with good people. But honestly, when I look back at that and I wonder why I am where I am now after all of that, my heart now is so grateful for what I have. Everything I have. I just. Sometimes I just look around and I am so happy that I have all of this. It is amazing that I have worked this hard. And I think about all that. And I mean, for the love of God, I broke into my daughter's piggy bank to pay for groceries. Like that sad. And then look. And it is amazing. And I honestly, I think being grateful and being grateful for the people that helped me and my employees and taking care of them and loving them and being like a family at this warehouse and grateful for the people in my life and just grateful for life, not just, like, coasting by and just disregarding, like, all these amazing things that I have. And with that, you know, you take pride in it and you work harder and you want to keep it in the littlest things. You're like, I need to look into that, like, every little thing. Thing. And you just are so aware of what you have and what you have to lose. And that's something that I never feared. I honestly remember my mom. She'd be like, kelsey, you really need to look at this. She's always kind of like the worrier. Her and my grandma, they work here, and they would tell me, like, kelsey, I think you need to check the numbers on this. And honestly, in my head, it was almost like I was so arrogant. And I would be like, no, I'm never going anywhere. This is great. Like, I'm on top of the world. What do you mean? Like, this business will go on forever. And then now I'm like, how could I be like that? How could I ever have felt that way? And it's hard to admit that. That I was that way, but I was. I never saw my business ever going anywhere but up. And it didn't. Now it is, which is great. But I'm a totally different person now. I'm so thankful for everything I have. There's not a single single day that I take for granted. There's not a single day that I just want to be at this warehouse, working. I love this and I love what I'm doing and the lives I'm changing. It's. It's unbelievable, man.

I was hearing someone the other day talking about the verse that we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, right? And the verse doesn't say you run through it. The verse says, walk through it. And that is as it is to. You have to endure that sometimes. The sweet is never a sweet without the sour. But look at all the gratitude and the goodness that it brings once you make it through that storm.

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. It has been worth every. I would do it all over again. I would in a heartbeat. I would go through every single day of it all over again. And I would. I just would. There is not a single day that I look back and, like, think and be like, I cry. I promise you it's not because I'm sad. I'm just so happy. I'm so grateful. And when I talk that I do cry sometimes I hear certain songs that I used to, like, listen on repeat during that time and I'll still cry because it was so hard. And, you know, just think about how far I've come. But, yeah, failure. You don't fear it. Because honestly, I. My business would not have lasted. I mean, it wouldn't have. It would have slowly dwindled down if I hadn't just hit rock bottom. And that's something I've tried. You know, I try to explain to people in my life, like, it's okay, and it's okay if you hit rock bottom because that's when you're gonna fight. You have nowhere else to go but up. And once you're down there and you see it all and everything goes into perspective and you just reevaluate your life and you realize, like, this is happening for a reason. I remember that, like, awakening one day, I'm like, God is doing this for a reason. Like this. This is my wake up call. Like, I'm living life wrong. I should be great. I should have been grateful. I should have been working harder and seeing what I had and fighting for it, and I wasn't. And it'll change you. But rock bottom and failure sometimes is the big. It is, for me, the biggest blessing that's ever happened.

So when you look at your life today, are there daily routines or things that you do on a daily basis that help you to stay in that place of gratitude or things that you do every day that help your business to be more successful that have really changed because of what You've gone through?

Yeah, absolutely. I think for me, just. I love every morning to, like, walk in my warehouse and just look around and see. It's crazy. Like, our warehouse grows daily. To walk in and it looks different every day. I mean, that's crazy. And just walk in and look at it and, like, think, like, I did this. And to take the time to not just work, but, like, to enjoy the people that I work with and to get closer with them. And for me, it's not so much a routine. It's just reminding myself, I think, every day. And I like to. Honestly, I like to go back and look at, like, maybe two years ago, the numbers, or I have a book. I'll never throw it away, but it's got the list of things that I had to pay off once I finally got that $10,000 from the bank. And sometimes I look at that because I remember that feeling I had when I wrote it out and how scared I was and how. How that. That fear that I was going to lose everything. And I remember writing that list and, like, crying like, how am I going to pay for all this? How am I going to do this? And I like to think back on that a lot. And I know that's like, you shouldn't live in the past, but sometimes you kind of should visit it because if you remember the bad times, it makes you really appreciate the good ones. And I think just constantly remembering that. I always look at my on this day post because I like to kind of look back and see, like, what I was posting during that time. And, you know, the stuff our business was posting. And just a reminder, like, it can go away. Like, what you have now, it can go. And you should be grateful and work really hard for it, because if you get in the wrong mindset or you get inconsistent, it can disappear. And that's another thing. Consistency. It's crazy. Like, if I'm gone for a few days, our sales just plummet because I'm not here and I'm not working. I don't go anywhere for a few days. But if I were to, because if I'm gone for, like, a day, you can see it. I would never disappear for a few days and not have everything planned out. Consistency, 110%. We do. We are so consistent. I do new arrivals every single day. Every single day. I take pictures. I have been trying to, like, bulk them. But consistency, 110% on how, you know, things have changed for us, just staying consistent, and that's. That's about it.

Would you Say, you know, the first step to getting you out of where you were, to where you are now was the mindset piece, right? The decision piece, gratitude piece of it. But tangibly, along with being consistent, what actions did you start to take? You started to dig into your numbers in a whole new way. I'm assuming you started to work with them way. Talk about some of those tangible actions that you took that started to make a difference for you.

So I've never been. I've always been really, really good at selling clothes. That's what I've always been good at. But what I've always not been good at is running the numbers on those clothes I'm selling and looking at the fine print of that and where's all this money going and how am I spending it? And why does my bank account keep dwindling down? And so. And that's really embarrassing almost to say, like, I had no idea what I was doing, honestly. And we look so big, but on the backside, I'm, like, just rolling through life, no clue what I'm doing, just selling clothes and hoping for the best. But when I. After that, after everything kind of hit, I sat down and I wrote out every single cost. I had everything. I'm talking, everything I could possibly come up with. And I figured out what it costs for me and my family, me and the kids to live each day. So it's crazy. Like, what are, you know, what it costs a day for us to live? I needed to know, like, how much do I need to make? Like, how much do I need to start making so we can actually get ahead? Because that's one thing that was. I realized was happening was you. You're making money, but if you're not matching it up with what it's costing you to basically survive in your business, survive, you're never, ever going to get ahead. You have to, like, hurdle over that. So I got the numbers on what it costs for my store to run every single day, and the second store and Sookie and my home. And that's when I realized, like, that's got to go. The jewelry business has got to go, and that money can go here, and then that'll eliminate that loan, and then that loan can go towards, you know, the storefront. And then I ran the numbers. Obviously, I was not going to get rid of that storefront downtown as far as, like, the business that was in it. I actually ended up selling that building, which was very hard. That I sold it back to the lady that. That had sold it to me. She didn't want anybody else to have it. And we cried and prayed together that night and she didn't want anybody to have it but me. And she bought it back because she knew how badly I needed. I told her everything. She bought it back and she promised me and we just cried and prayed and she told me that she would never sell it or give it to anybody and that it would be mine when I was ready to buy it again.

Wow.

And it's all. But yeah, just you know, realizing like, I don't need cable, I've got Netflix, I pay $10, I don't need to spend over $100 on cable. And realizing like, maybe I don't need Sirius xm, I don't need that. I've got my phone that has plenty of music. It was like all these little things and like I don't need this closet full stuff. When I wear athletic clothes every day, maybe I should sell it and my kids clothes that don't fit them. But I've always kind of had that, that in me, like even when I was a kid and we didn't always have like a ton of money. But for me it wasn't even that. I just wanted to be like independent. I've always been super independent. I wanted to buy my own stuff. So even as a kid, like I would sell anything I could and I would sell it because I wanted my new wardrobe for school to be bomb and I was going to save every bit of money I could. And I've always been like that. I will sell it in a heartbeat because I know that even if I love it, one day when things are better, I can have it again. And so for me it was just cutting everything out and just making, you know, those changes with my household and the businesses and letting it go. And I started running those numbers very, very closely. Everything, I mean, I know every penny in and out of this place now and I cannot say that. So it was before at all, at all. So that, that really keeping all those numbers, making sure your money's going in the right place. I try. I live in a small house. We, I live way within my means because I know that one day I'll have, you know, a big nice home. But until then, I want to grow my business. Who cares if my house has three little bitty bedrooms? I love it. And that's, that's perfect for now because I'm trying to grow this business. And I think that's number one is realizing like it's not about image, it's about what you're growing and that the final income or the final outcome of it, like, you know, if I keep growing this one day I can have, you know, I can grow up to have my, this dream home or whatever. But it's working up to that. And when you're running a business like you have to plan that out. You can't just splurge and buy this brand new home with your income you're making for your business. That's your business. And I think learning that it is keeping the money within the business.

It's the Dave Ramsey mindset. Right? Like live like no one else so that you like no one else. Absolutely. And a lot the business of retail, there's a lot of art to it. But so many people that love the art, love the fashion, they forget the science. And really at the end of the day, where is the money made? It's the science part of it. It's the math, the numbers, the art of buying inventory. Talk to me about you built such a great business on Facebook. So you have new arrivals every day of the week on Facebook. You're back to your website now. What was it like your customers to go from comment selling in which you didn't have a platform, your manual invoicing, then moving them to the website and keeping them there. What's that been like?

So we've kind of had this. We've had to turn our customers like 10 different times, I swear, because first we were common only, you know, for an invoice and then we got the website. I was, I can't even, I didn't, I never wanted to get that website. I was so scared because I thought, you know, I've done this for years and we have the most loyal customers. But I knew it was time. I knew it was and I was terrified. I stocked that warehouse and I had so much on that website. We did amazing that first night I advertised. And that's the thing, if you're going to switch things up on your customers, you better make sure they know, like if it takes two weeks of advertising and which now I would, you know, send them an email blast and text them or whatever. Then I just had to like word of mouth, Facebook, whatever. I didn't have Instagram them and I don't think but you really, I mean you can't just make some crazy change and, and just jump to a website. So just letting them know because we went from a website, then we went, went back to commenting and invoicing and then we ended up getting another website. Then we had a switch from BigCommerce. Yeah, BigCommerce, over to Shopify, and then our website crashed. So then we were comments sold. And I mean, we've been all over the place. But, you know, your customer, like, our customers are so cool. I mean, that there's a lot of them, but they, overall, they're super cool and they kind of just go with the flow. They'll do whatever. They just want their clothes and they'll shop anywhere you send them. So for us, you know, as long as we're advertising, we're just getting the word out, they're gonna show up, they're gonna come shop. But that is one thing. Actually, it's kind of on the same subject of, like, training people. This is something that's been that I think about a lot because I always have a lot of. This is like way off topic, sort of. But I have a lot of people message me and they're like, hey, how do I get people on my website and all this stuff? It is not an overnight thing. I've just got to say that that's been on my mind. And it's so hard to explain. If people don't know where you are and who you are yet, they have no idea how to find you. So it's a growing process. It does not happen overnight. You are not going to start your business into tomorrow. See numbers like Philly Flair or myself or Cheeky. It doesn't. It doesn't happen. You. We have all put in so much time into this, and you have to. It's a. You have to build your. Your customer base. You have to, you know, start on social media. I mean, that's where people are going to find you. And then. Or, you know, Pinterest, whatever, and then get out there. That's how people are going to find you. They're not just gonna randomly, like, type in, you know, your boutique website and hunt you down. They gotta know who you are. And that's one thing that I just gotta get off my chest because I'm asked that a lot. It's not an overnight thing and it's not.

Right. I'm sure you get that question all the time. What is the one thing that you did that made you successful? And there's never one, right?

No, it's not it. And that's why I get so many messages, then I will open them and I'm like, I honestly, I don't have time. I don't even have time. I can't even. It would take so long to Explain to you your question, and they just want one simple answer. And I'm like, it's so not simple. It's so. It's so complex, and I don't have enough time for this. And nothing's just one thing. It's business. You're an entrepreneur. Everything's. Everything's got, like, a thousand different parts of it that you've got to do and figure out.

Amen. We get those questions all the time at the Boutique hub, too. And I'm sure you see that even in our Facebook groups, like, what's the one thing? Or, you know, at the Boutique summit, I want a speaker to tell me what you know. When Kelsey's speaking, I want her to tell me the one thing.

Right?

We're never going to satisfy people because there's never going to be. It's finding. And this is like you and I talking about Facebook ads recently. We were talking about the ads that you're running and what's working. It's working for you because you've tested it, tried it, and made it work. Work for you. But that doesn't mean it's gonna work for someone else. Everyone has to dig in, get their hands dirty, and figure out what their one thing is going to be, because it's absolutely.

Absolutely. I mean, if we were all doing. If there was one thing, we were all doing it. We'd all be on the same page. We would all have the same numbers. We would all. There's not one thing. It's. And that. That's something that's so hard to get. And I'll even find myself, like, I'll find something new. And I'm like, how do you master Pinterest? Well, my gosh. Just, you know, and I even find myself. I have to stop myself. Like, kelsey, you're not going to figure this out from Google. Just do it and figure it out. And honestly, that's what it takes. And I'm so guilty. Like, I'll ask Google, and I'm. I get nowhere. And, you know, even asking people, sometimes I'll read it, I'm like, okay. But then I remember that, you know, my answers don't work for everybody either. And I can tell them, but everybody is so different. The way you use it, the way you do it, everybody's customers. There is no answer honestly on a lot of things. It's just giving it hell and trying your best and figuring it out. And if you got to try it a thousand different ways, that's what it takes.

Yes. All right, well, let's on this note of there not being any one thing, then let's ask some questions around the one thing, shall we? Yeah. So how about we do this quick tips. So if there's something you wish you would have known on these topics, what would. Okay, Sound good? We'll play a game.

Yeah.

So there's something you wish you would have known in terms of Instagram marketing, since I know you said what is your 50% of your customers are now coming from Instagram. Is that what you said?

Yeah, if we're consistent. I mean, now. No, because Facebook's killing it with those ads. Yeah. I mean, Instagram's really been good. I think when it comes to Instagram, one thing I wish I had known. Well, one, hire somebody to do it because I always put it on the back burner. Should have done that a long time ago. And not making it the same as Facebook. Kind of mixed up. I wish I had known that. And I kind of just would, like, cross post everything. Well, my gosh. People probably follow. If they're following Facebook, they're probably following Instagram. They're just seeing the same things. So kind of mixing it up, like making a little different and using our story. I wish I'd done that a long time ago.

Yeah.

So that's it for me.

All right. What's the thing that you wish you would have known in terms of buying?

Buying? Well, I think on that is if I have it in my gut, like, this is going to be a really good seller. Just like, go for it, buy lots. Because if I feel it, I get a feeling I see something, I'm like, that is going to sell out in minutes. I know it. And I've learned that when I get that feeling, I should buy, like, as much as I possibly can. And that's one. But then two is not being afraid. This is something like not being afraid to sell out and reorder it. It's okay. Like, I do not like stuff just sitting on my racks. I don't want to have to mark it down. I would rather reorder it a thousand times than have money sitting on my racks. I. I despise it. I don't want to be left with stuff I can't move. So I order small. And that's something probably a lot of big boutiques don't do. I don't order big at all all. I mean, it might be big to some 24 of some things, 48 of another. I might order 200. But it's. It's being okay. But just ordering something small, you don't have to feel big. Be big, you know, and so ordering small being okay with just, like, reordering. That's something I've made a mistake of before and now I don't. I'll reorder a thousand times.

It's good advice. And really, it's kind of funny because your advice is, like, opposite. The two pieces are, like, opposite of one another. Go big and go small is. I take away from that. You have to first know your customer and have tested to know, like, the virality of your products, right?

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I kind of did contradict myself on.

That a little bit.

But I'm telling you for me, and don't take that advice. If you get this gut feeling and you're, like, just starting out, don't go crazy and buy, like, 200. But for me, I know my customers. I know what they love, and sometimes there's just that item, and I feel it, and before it has to get recommended.