The Pursuit of Happiness: Prioritizing Mental Well-being in Business and Life with Sara Durcholz

I think one of the most important conversations that our industry is having right now is on the topic of mental health. And today we are going to shed some serious light on this topic with a dear friend of mine, Sarah, the founder of Joe and Company. See, Sarah has been through every stage of business, from starting a new business to growing and expanding all the way to three storefronts and then deciding, you know what? This is not for me. It's not making me happy. And she took her business and her life in a completely different direction. And if I'm being honest, one of the questions that I see coming across the Hub quite often is, how do I know if this isn't right for me? How do I know if maybe a storefront isn't what I want or maybe being online isn't making me happy? I just feel stressed out and overwhelmed trying to keep up with the Joneses. And I want to build a business that I love and that I can really work into my lifestyle and create freedom and flexibility and happiness, but not always be chasing what's next. We're going to talk about all of it today because every single one of us at some point has to step back and say, am I doing what really makes me happy at the end of the day? And Sarah is going to teach us all about how to do that. Guys, meet my friend Sarah, the founder of Jo & Co, an amazing boutique owner and insightful woman. Get ready. Let's talk about your business strategy and the juicy details of what actually works, from mainstream fashion to fashion on Main street and the entire ecosystem behind it. How do we scale your company and do it with the balance and the happiness that we all seek? Let's hear from those insiders, experts and strategists that actually make it happen. I'm your host, Ashley Alderson from the Boutique Hub, and I can't wait to chat.

Hey, guys.

Welcome back to the podcast. This week we are going to have, I'm just going to call us, like, real Girl Talk. Can we just have girl talk today, Sarah?

Absolutely.

I think that's going to be, like, the heart of this episode. It's going to be some strategy, some takeaways, business wise, but it's going to be more, like, impactful for those of you who just want a real, honest conversation about what it means to grow and make your business what you want it to be. So I'm so excited to really dig into all that. So, Sarah, thanks so much for being on the show with me today.

I'm so excited. This is actually on my vision board. It's been a long time. Maybe that's why I'm so nervous. I don't know.

We're living a vision board moment right now. Everyone listening. You are living a vision board moment right now. That's so cool. It is.

I know, I know. It's so neat.

For this, you are gonna. You're gonna shine in your vision board moment because you have one of the most unique stories to tell in this industry. And I feel so, so blessed to get to have watched your journey unfold over the last couple of years and just, like, really hear the nitty gritty of it. So I'm so pumped that you're going to be able to share it today.

I'm so excited.

Yeah.

All right, let's get into it.

Backstory. So to set up where we're at today and the decisions you've made today, I want to go all the way back to the beginning. Tell me how you got into the boutique business and how you started to scale your business right away.

Yeah, so I, you know, businesses in my blood. My dad has owned his own business. A lot of my female family members have owned their own business, which is where my company was named after. But I went to school for fashion merchandising and moved to New York City shortly after graduating college. And I worked in and out of the industry there for about five years. Everything from showroom assistant to executive assistant to production to merchandising. I mean, I really. I got all the experience I needed, and I just was not happy. I wasn't. And I started getting into it and saying, I need something different. You know, I need. I want to move home. Maybe not home, but close to home. And, you know, I was talking to my sister, and she's like, why don't you open your own boutique? Like, it's something you've always wanted to do. And this was back in 2012, you know, so E Commerce was just starting. People were still selling on ebay. You know, it's like brick and mortar. E Commerce was just coming up. So I did. I worked three jobs while in New York City. I saved up a huge chunk of money for myself, opened my first store in my hometown. At that time was called Something different. And that was 11 years ago. I opened my first store, which is just so crazy and has. It's been on a roller coaster ride ever since. I joke with people that I probably have made every single mistake you could make within this industry, which is a good thing now, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah. So it's all a learning experience. I don't regret any step. But, I mean, I've. I. It's been a roller coaster. I have gone from one store to two to three, back to two to one, two again. So I've really just. I don't know, I've hit every corner. I feel like you can. And the last. I mean, full year has been a huge transformation for me personally.

I love that we're going to unpack all of that transformation in just a minute. But go back to when you first started and you made the decision. I want two stores, and now I want three stores. Talk to me about how you unpack those decisions and what worked in that growth, and then maybe what didn't work in that growth. What were some of the mistakes you feel like you maybe did make along the way that you would have done differently now along, like the scaling part. And then we'll talk about scaling feeling down in just a minute.

Yeah, I mean, I was at that time, I was 25, 26, I think. And all I had in the forefront of my mind is I just wanted to be extremely financially successful. Like, that was it. There was no really why behind my business that I really dug deep into now. There's a huge why. And I have figured out, you know, why do what I do. But back then, it wasn't about that. It was, let's start a business, let's make a lot of money, let's open a lot of locations. It wasn't a lot of decisions made from my heart and my gut. It was more in my head. And so I. When I opened my first store, I had a. Like, a great first month. And I live in a very small town. And I was like, this is it. I've hit the gold mine. I can retire now, right? Let's open a second location. So after the first month, I decided to go ahead and open a second location and went an hour away to a bigger city. And I thought being a bigger city equaled way more income. And it didn't. And so then when that didn't reach what I thought, then I was like, well, maybe a third store will get me financially to where I want to be. So then I opened another location, and it really came back and blew up in my face. To say it delicately, at that time, I was pregnant with my first child. And I mean, I just. There are times where I just would cry. I mean, I just was so miserable and so unhappy. And the evening I made the decision to shut down at their location, I went into labor and it was just like my body was waiting for me to make that decision, to say, okay, we're good now. That's done. This is the right move. And every. I mean, since then, up until a couple years ago, it was just every decision I've made in terms of when it came to my business, in terms of that mistake, it just wasn't for the right reason. There was no. I wasn't listening to myself or what I wanted. I wasn't getting in tune with actually what I needed. For me, it was more or less chasing the money instead of saying, like, okay, but what do you want?

Yeah, yeah, before. Before you, like, learned that lesson, before you realized, okay, it's about the money right now. It's about the growth. It's about achieving a financial goal versus what do I want? What questions do you wish you would have stopped and asked yourself before the second store and before the third store, or what processes do you wish would have been in place that would have maybe slowed you down to say, okay, am I evaluating this in a way that makes the most sense for where I want to go?

I really wish I would have just taken time to be honest with myself. Because now where I'm at, which is, you know, operating pretty much online only and with a franchise location, it's been in my face. It's been there all the whole time. The whole time. I just didn't want to listen to it because that wasn't what was happening back when I started this. It was something new. And I didn't realize I could actually achieve success in the way that I wanted, not how everyone else was doing it. And so the only way I thought I could be successful was by opening a ton of brick and mortar locations. That's how I thought I was going to be successful. That's what I grew up around. That's in my day and age. You know, seeing E Commerce come to life, that was like the safe thing to do. That's what you did. That's what you should do. But all along, since day one, E. Commerce has been that huge bubble around me of that driving force of saying, okay, this is going to complement this, but I still want to grow my E Comm. I still want to do this. And I just did not take time to listen to myself and say, be honest with myself. I think because I was so busy saying I like having this dialogue that I want to be a multi millionaire and I don't care how I do it. I don't care if it makes me miserable. I wasn't even thinking that it was just more or less like, I'm gonna get there, because this is how you traditionally always did it.

Yeah. And it's probably really easy to see other people that you look up to in the industry and say, oh, I want to be like her. So this is the goal, and this is how I'm going to get there. And all of a sudden, we're chasing somebody else's dream but not chasing our own. Is that fair to say?

Absolutely. And there's so many different ways you can look at that. It could be how they operate their business. It could be their style. It could be how they brand themselves. You know, there's so many different ways of how you can look at it when it comes to your business. Not just a financial standpoint. You know, I. I talk to so many people, and I'm guilty of it, too, of, you know, looking up to people and saying, okay, like, they achieve success. So, you know what? We're going to be super bubbly and happy and very colorful, because if that's working for them, then it's going to work for us when all alone. That's not really who I am or what I want. That wasn't me.

Yeah. Yeah. That's so valuable. I hope everybody listening just pauses for a second because at the end of the day, that's it. Like, you cannot be your best interpretation of somebod else and find success. The only path to get there is to be brutally honest with yourself and who you want to be and how you want to operate and how you want to show up. And that's going to resonate with your customers far more. So, Sarah, talk to me about this. So you got to three stores to two. Talk to me about the process of closing the two stores to get yourself back down to one, like, tangibly, like, what were some of the steps you took? How did you market that to your audience? Like, what did that feel like? It looked like just to kind of paint a picture for somebody who maybe is in the stage of giving themselves permission to do the same.

You know, being where I'm at now and being able to look back, I'm able to sit here and say, everything worked out so beautifully in a way that it was meant to be. And any huge mistake I've made, it's because I forced it to happen. You know, it's like, this isn't really working, but I'm still just going to go after it. But looking back at how this all transpired, it was all lined up and so going from the third location, shutting that down, I took a pause. You know, I had my son and I was with the two locations, and my lease was coming up at my second location, which was in the bigger city, and the landlords and I were not getting along. And I remember messaging my friend Aaron. She's a part of this group and. And she was the next town over. And I've always loved that downtown. It's just this very small, quaint downtown. And I remember telling her, like, listen, I. I don't know what to do. Do you have any friends, like in downtown? You know, Evansville are here. And she messaged me back and she said, I just found out my neighbor is closing. I'm going to contact the landlord right now. And I was shocked because I. That is where I always wanted to be. And it was just simply me reaching out and being open with someone who's in this industry, someone who, like, people would perceive as a competitor. And she opened that door for me. And it was so easy. It was so easy. We moved that location that I wasn't making a lot of money and I was actually losing a ton of money into a new location. And that was early 2019. And so we went there and the first weekend we opened, I did double of what I normally did in sales that weekend in that location. And I remember just being in the back room crying. I was just crying because, I mean, here I am in a small town, I'm doing way more sales than I ever thought I would do in a big city, you know, which proved to my point of it doesn't matter where you're actually at. It matters into the heart of the community and who you're around. And, you know, that happened 2019, and every month we just kept growing and growing. And then I was pregnant at that time with my. My miracle baby, my rainbow baby, and I gave birth. Well, there's a little bit more. So then, yeah, I did. Sorry, I'm. I have mom brain backtracking. So during that year in 2019, I was also in the works of moving my second location into a new development for my hometown. And the landlord and I, we could not see eye to eye on the lease. And this was November 2019. And she emailed me and she said, you know what, Sarah, you don't have to do this. And I just paused and I was like, you know what? I don't. You're right. I don't have to do this right now. And it's okay. I'll. I'm just. I'll shut down the store. You know, I'm having my second baby and I was, it just hit me like, I don't have to have this. And so we shut down the store and I gave birth early February 2020. And then we all know what happened right after that. So I, I went down to one store location during 2020, which all a blessing in disguise. I could have gone into this really expensive development with another location and it would have put me out of business. It would have no question about it. So it was very refreshing to sit here and say, okay, I'm doing more with one store than I was doing with three and I am genuinely happy right now. And then the rat race started because the big C word happened and survival mode kicked in big time. And we were one of the very blessed companies who grew through Covid and it was a lot and I, I agree with a lot of people of having PTSD after it because I look back and I don't know how I did it, but I lost a lot of myself and my why through the whole process which leads into this whole past year and where we're at now. So I don't know. It's. It all worked out so beautifully in the way that was meant to be.

Are you headed to Atlanta for the apparel market? Well, if so, you are invited to Hubbapalooza. It's our showroom grand opening on Wednesday, June 7th starting at 8:30am and I want to invite you to come and celebrate with us. Our hub brand new showroom is on the ninth floor, suite E319 again on the ninth floor. You can experience all day an arm candy bar. Come in and design your own bracelet stack sponsored by my girl in la. Omg Blings, Taylor Shay Designs and Nettie Road Wholesale while supplies last. Those are going to go fast you guys. Plus from 11 to 12 we're going to have boutique hub summer school streaming live for you so you can take in the training that's going to be taking place all week. Plus from 12:30 to 2:00pm, Hubba Palooza, our showroom grand opening with a DJ and refreshments and networking with your boutique besties. At 2:00', clock, it's our education hour sponsored by management. One, you can come in and learn all about inventory planning. It's awesome you guys. Plus at 6pm it's the Atlanta Apparel kickoff party hosted by the Atlanta Apparel team in building three in the atrium floor.

2.

Sit and party with us you guys. I want to see you in Atlanta. Our team will be there and Waiting for you for hubba palooza. Wednesday, June 7. If you're headed to Atlanta, we'll see you there.

Oh, absolutely.

So you.

Let's talk about what happened next. You go through Covid, grew, expanded your online. Right, which was such a blessing, so many people during that time. But then you hit a wall and you were like, okay, now what? Is this how I want to continue? And this is where it gets so interesting, because really, you had two paths. Like, you could have said, I'll just close this down, or I'll continue to run it, but I'll focus it online. I'll just try to hire it out. But you took a totally different approach. So tell me about the approach that you took.

So do you want me to go back to when, like, it was the moment where I was like, I'm done.

Yeah, I want to hear that. I'm done. And then I want to hear, like, the franchise moment, because that's so.

Yeah, so that would have been. Actually, we were in LA experience, which was the. The other big, huge, pivotal moment. And while I was in LA with my one store location, the landlord and I agree, we're going head to head in terms of my lease. And during the LA experience, she said, I'm not renewing your lease. You have to be out in a month and a half. And this was a store that was doing 90% of my revenue, and I had nowhere to go. And so there's that thing, that spark inside me. I'm like, well, I've always wanted to do online, so here it is, right? But I panicked. I was panicking so much because I have this, you know, million dollar location and I'm about to lose it in a month, you know, and so I was grasping. I'm like, I'm gonna. I have to hang on to this no matter what we do. No matter what we do. Even though maybe this isn't what I want, like, that was in there, but I was refusing to actually listen to it. And shortly after, I think it was February when I was at Market, I just remember sitting in the hotel room by myself and I was just crying. And I'm like, I can't do this anymore. And there was something going on inside me, and I knew it wasn't anything else. Externally, I could feel it deep within me that something was going on. And I remember reaching out to you because you had said you had worked with Crystal. And I met her when at Summit. And without question, I said, I'm signing up. I don't care. Because there's something bigger going on here that I just don't know what it is. And I have to work on me. And I started working with her in April, I believe. And a lot transpired last summer. You know, my husband was looking at taking a different job that would completely move us. And this was probably end of June last year. And I remember walking and processing everything because it was happening so fast. And in, in my head I went, well, you know what? At least no one could be mad at me for shutting down my store and I can actually focus on online. And it made me stop because I've never really had that thought before. And I'm like, I was using this as an excuse, you know, like this was my way out. And I'm like, whoa, like there's something really going on here. And that was when I accepted, like, I just don't want the stores anymore. I don't. I wanted out. Like it was there. It just randomly purged itself out of me. And all along I was kind of looking for this way out without me having to make the decision. I wanted my hand forced in it. I was so unhappy. And, you know, that's when everything started really kicking in. It's okay, like, this is what I want. I was under a five year lease. I had no idea how I was going to do it. I remember telling Crystal, I'm like, it's fine. I'll suck it up for another four and a half years. You know, I can do this. And then we'll go online. And she's like, sarah, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You know, you are so unhappy. There has to be another way you can do this, that you can get out, that you can chase with what you want. And I was, I don't know if.

This happens to you.

I was on another walk. All my epiphanies come on walks for some reason. So I'm walking and I'm trudging up the hill and I'm like, what am I going to do? And I was like, well, you know, I have Olivia and she's with my store manager. She's been with me for years. And she's amazing, you know, but she really can't afford this. She just got out of college. Her and her like, fiance are just getting married. I'm like, but man, what if, what if she franchised it? You know, what if it was still Joe and Co, but she owned it? And I'm like, that would be really cool, you know, that'd be really cool for her, who's worked so hard, who's been by my side through everything, to be able to pass on something that I still love. Like, this is still my brain. This is still my baby. This is something I've spent so much time building, but the way I'm doing it, I don't love it. And she loves it. She thrives off of the merchandising and the customers, what she loves. And if I could pass on, I could support her and then she could support her family. I'm like, that's really cool. And I get to pursue what I want to do, you know? And it just hit me, and I started doing research and I put together a proposal for her, and she was like, she. I still never. This is ingrained in my brain. We got on a meeting. She had no idea this was coming. I was like, I just want to touch base with you. And you go over a few things and we're on a zoom call, and I just. I lay everything out on her and I tell her, you know, this is what's going on. We're probably going to have to move. I want you to buy the store as a franchise. And she just looked at me and started bawling. I mean, crying. And she's like, are you. Are you serious? And then, I mean, it was a tear fest, but I told her, I'm like, there's no one else. I would rather pass this on to no one. You deserve it more than anybody I know. And if I. I have 10 years of experience of doing this, I could open a store with my eyes closed. Like, I got you. I will mentor you through this. I want you to be successful. I will help you. I will give you that guiding, guiding hand that I didn't have when I started this. That man, I wish I would have had. And you know what? Like, you get to pay yourself really well for doing this. Like, really well. And there was no question. I mean, she's like, sign me up. Let's do this. And that was, I want to say, August. And we closed on it December 31st of 2022.

So update me. Like, since that's happened, like, it's going well. She's growing in this position. And then you. Like, this has given you the freedom and space to pursue what you really want to do. So tell me about your day to day and how you focus now on online while she's.

Yeah, it's.

I mean, it's a whirlwind, you know, I don't know what's going to happen with the franchise thing, you know, I never. I tell people if someone would come up to me today and say, I want this, I wouldn't say no right away. You know, Olivia and I have had those conversations of, how could this expand? What would that look like? You know, who would take it on? But for me, that's not where my passion lies anymore. You know, I. I wanted to get very granular with my customer and who I was trying to reach. And I think everyone can agree when you have a brick and mortar, that's very hard to do because you're. You're in your community, which influences that. You know, you have ages 16 from 75 coming into your store. Different price ranges, you know, different lines, different needs, everything. And I was finding a lot of that didn't bring me joy. I wanted to get very granular on who I wanted Joe and co to be to become. And it's been for the last, you know, I want to say since August, it's been not only changing who we are, you know, in terms of operating the company, but we have a new customer, we have a new brand, we have a new style. And so we're going through all these changes. And I'm simultaneously losing customers, who I've had for years, but also gaining new customers. And every day it's a change. Every day it's learning. Online is a totally different, Totally different, I mean, behemoth of taking on compared to the stores. And when I had the store, I never looked at online as this beast. It was more as, like a marketing channel. And now being on the other side and seeing how much hard work it takes, I have a whole new respect for people who operate online only because it's not easy, and it's a completely different strategy than having a brick and mortar. And, you know, I come in and honestly, every day, I mean, there are days that are still hard. I don't want to say that, but I will say I feel like I'm glowing from the inside out. You know, I come in and the clothes, clothes that come in, the buying, the styling, the creative, the branding, like, every part of it, I'm so in love with Versus before, I never felt I didn't feel that way. I lost who we were, and I needed to find that again for myself. And now, you know, it's opened up this whole different creative channel that I didn't even know I wanted. It's been staring me in the face. But I want to start, you know, designing my own line. I want to start creating my own clothes. You Know, I want to start really getting into that nitty gritty of becoming a brand and not just, you know, just another store. You know, I want to leave this legacy behind in. In a way not maybe for my family. I don't want to put that pressure on my daughter or son in a way that helps women so deeply to find that confidence and joy within themselves that I'm able to feel when I go and buy these pieces to share with the world.

Yeah. So what I'm hearing you say is I feel like you've made this transition to being more in love with the purpose than the profit.

Absolutely. I was actually. Go ahead.

Sorry.

It's just such a different way to approach, like, everything that you do. And I'm curious, like, what do you think boutique owners that are listening that maybe feel like something's going on inside of me, like you said, but I don't know how to figure out what that is or I don't know. What questions could boutique owners ask themselves to really get more in touch with what really makes me happy and what am I really chasing at the end of the day? How could they go on that self discovery like you did?

A higher Crystal. And if it's not, I. Sorry, Crystal, I really need, like, an affiliate code or something here. No, but.

Where is she at right now?

Where is she? But even, I mean, you don't have to do it alone. And it's hard. Like, this is not easy work. It is really hard work being honest with yourself. And I'm not even gonna say with yourself, with your spouse, with your friends, with your family. Like, this isn't even just about you at the end of the day, you know, you have other people you're thinking about, and it's one thing to internally want these things, and it's a whole nother thing to sit there and scream it from the rooftops and say, I am freaking miserable and I don't want this anymore and something's got to change. And then have everyone around you lift you up and support you in this whole new dream that you're trying to build out. It's scary. It really is. And it's not easy. And it's also saying, like, after 10 years of working on this, like, accepting that's not what you want. And there's one thing that Crystal said to me that still has stuck with me to the day. And a lot of this has revolved around, like, I spent 10 years doing this. I'm nowhere where I thought I was going to be, you know, financially, business Wise anything like, why isn't it working? And she stopped me. She said, have you ever thought the reason why it's not working? It's because you're not actually doing what you want to do. And maybe success is going to come after that. You need to find your joy, you need to find your passion, you need to find the love. And once you do that, that success is going to come. And I see that playing out now right in front of my eyes. I didn't believe it then, but that really stopped me. And saying, you can have this pity party and say, why, why, why? Why not me? Why isn't this happening? But only you can answer that for yourself. No one else can. Like, you can't look externally for that answer.

Yeah. Do you think part of it is also like, why isn't the success happening to me? It's also a question of, but what is successful to me? Like, it's changing what you're actually defining it to be. And how can people be okay with accepting the answer of what success really is to them? Because I keep saying this in like, our million dollar group, our bigger groups, our mastermind. Bigger isn't better. Bigger does not mean more joy. But better is better. And so how do you define what is better for you?

And that, I think, depends on every person. You know, there are people who love the game, who loves the chase of the money, and that's okay, you know, there's nothing wrong with that. But at the end of the day, why are we doing what we're doing if we're not happy? You know, like, life is so short. And there are people that I've met who, you know, they talk about, you know, okay, strategy, you know, do I open another store, Do I do this, do I do that? And part of me feels that panic, you know, that, okay, what's next? And there are times where I just want to. I want to stop them and say, are you happy? But are you happy? Like, are you happy living this? Or is there something else you're wanting? I want financial success. You know, that hasn't changed. I want to be able to support my family. I want to do things, but I also want to run this company in a way that brings me joy. I don't want to fall back into, you know, that whirlwind of, you know, turn and burn, you know, of just like, okay, what's next? Let's, let's keep it, let's keep it going. Let's make more money. What can I order? What about this? Instead of Sitting here and thinking, like, how can I help people feel a certain way? And for me now when I go into this, it's all about, it's not about, you know, the brand or the style. It's about that feeling inside that I want to give women of. When you put something on, like, I want you to walk into a room and I want you to own that room. Like, I want people's heads to turn and I want you to feel so empowered and so confident because of that one thing that you decided to invest in yourself to make you feel that way. It's not just another shirt, it's not just another pair of pants. Like, it is something for you that makes you feel a certain way. And whenever I was able to step back and make that connection because for so long I was like, what's her name? What's her style? What is she? You know, I had to get back and say, it's not about that, it's about a feeling, you know, and once I was able to make my core around that, that thing that I've been chasing for so long that I don't know why I didn't admit it to myself, everything else makes it easier.

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So good. How do you tangibly like when you, when you think about like I want them to have this feeling. What are some tangible ways your business marketing just in how you operate daily that you feel like you can deliver that for your brand. Like if someone's listening and they're like, ah, Sarah, how do I do that on a daily basis? I want it to be about a feeling too. How are you showing up differently now than you did before that allows the feeling?

I think being honest with myself first and foremost, you know, and owning that. When I look into my branding now, it's when you look at my pictures, they're kind of serious with a smize. But there's this confidence that I really try to get that evokes through that photo that I want women to feel. But thing is, women aren't one dimensional, right? Like, we are allowed to smile, we're allowed to have fun, we're allowed to be sexy. You know, we're all these things. So when I really look at this in that core feeling, in terms of feeling empowered, it may be different depending on the day. Like feeling empowered may be with your best friend and having a glass of wine and laughing. You know, it may be looking at that photo and like saying like, I know I look good without even saying the words. Like, you stand out without saying a word. So I really try and sit back and say, where is she wearing this? How is she wearing it and how does she want to feel? So for me, I was able to sit back and say, okay, right now I'm my ideal customer and I have work and date night and my friendships. So I'm either, you know, going from the office to my husband calling me saying, hey, let's go on a date night real quick. And you know what? I want to look good, I want to feel good. It's my husband. And so I really try and look in these outfits and saying, you know, is she going to a special occasion? Is it a wedding she has this summer? Is she going on date night with her husband? Is it vacation? I really try and look at in terms of that special event and keep that core Thought in terms, you know what I mean? Like, they're the three we do brunch, date night, work. Those are the pretty much the three things that we focus on when it comes to that outfit and what we're envisioning it for.

That's helpful. And then do you feel like you've showed up differently just in your Instagram stories and just, like, in your personal dialogue with your customer base?

Yeah, I do. It's been hard. You know, there's a lot of people I think, that would look at how I do probably represent my company in terms of I'm probably overly authentic. There may be people who are like, you know, I wouldn't have shared that, but for me, it's so real, you know, I. I mean, I will tell people, though, the big reason why I even started this company is because I've suffered from eating disorders ever since I was a teenager. And, you know, I found myself gravitating towards clothes to help me feel better. And I, like, slowly, fashion is what healed me. Fashion is what saves me because it helps me feel good about myself and my body. And I'm very open with that story to everyone else. And even though it's probably not the traditional way you do it, it's what works for me, and it's what I want my company to represent because I want women to feel, you're not alone. We've all, like. We've all been there. We know someone who's been there, and I don't want to be just close. I'm not like, if you just want to go somewhere and buy something and that is it, I mean, yes, come buy for me. I don't care. But we are so much more than that. And I had to own that fully before I could even step out of that, because I have to be confident in saying, this is who we are and this is what we represent. So, you know, showing up with my podcast on our social media, you know, showing up in terms of, like, I don't. I've had so many people reach out, and they're like, you are glowing. Like, there is just something about you. Like, there's this, like, happiness and joy and confidence that comes from finding you. I mean, I refound myself, you know, and that. That's a very powerful thing to say. Not only my business, but me as a person, as a wife, as a mother, and that is. Sorry, I'm going to get emotional. That is probably the most beautiful thing to say. I am more than my business, and I am so freaking happy in My life right now.

Can we just end the podcast right here?

You're turning to Crystal, you're making me cry. Damn it, Crystal, you're always doing this to us.

Oh, I just, I love that so much. Like, I, I hope everyone can just, like, feel this. I have goosebumps when I hear you say that. But, like, to see this journey you've been on, I'm so freaking proud of you. And this is, like, hearing you say this, this is what I want so bad every day. Like, I don't ever want anyone to wake up feeling like they're cheating into their business or like, I've got to do this thing, but it's. I want to do this thing. And this is allowing me to just like, live this full embodied version of, of who I am and who God made me to be on this earth. And so I love that you're such a role model for people. And, and I think through your story, Sarah, you're able to give people permission to own, like, okay, I'm happy, I'm unhappy. I need to make a change. I need to face these things. But look at, there's a bright space side. Like, I may need to face some fears, but look at the bright side and what's possible next. Yeah, what are some other ways you think boutique owners right now, like, you're in all the groups, you, you hear what everybody's kind of going through at any given moment. Like, what are some other practices? Self love, mindset practices, Honest questions boutique owners you think could ask themselves or how can they just get back to the core of who they want to be there?

I think there are two things that stick out to me, specifically. One, I've had this conversation with a few people and Josh, our friend Josh actually just talked about this toxic positivity in a way of, you know, you can sit here and try and put blinders on, say, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay. But that's where the real work needs to come into. Because, yes, you want it to be okay, but putting blinders on and not being fully transparent and honest with yourself about what may be going on in the bigger picture, it's not going to be okay if you don't do that. You know, it's. There's this happy medium saying, like, you don't want to be negative Nancy. Right. The world's not ending. You know, you're not happy. I, that's. I understand that, but you need to dig into the why why aren't you happy? You know, it's. Do you even want to be doing this? If not, that's okay. You know, that is totally okay. Or, like, even for me, I had to go on this journey of, is this what I want? Like, this has been my identity for 10 years, but is this what I want? And I had take days to sit down and say, okay, yes, I want this, but I don't like this. And I don't like this. And for me, I had to start with, I know what I don't want. Like, I had to sit down and say, I don't want this, I don't want that. I don't want this. And that's powerful, too. If you don't know what exactly what you want, start with what you don't want. I mean, you know that internally. You know what I mean? And I think also the discernment of knowing when something's not right for you and when you're feeling. What's the word I want to use? Privilege. You know, like, I think we've all had a day. We're like, I don't want to get on social media. I don't want to do this, I don't want to do that. Is it that you don't really want to do it, or are you just burnt out and you need to take a break for yourself right now? You know, there's that really hard. I don't know, that really hard, I don't know, gray area that sometimes we get stuck. Stuck in that. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it takes you to make that step forward and find that light for yourself.

Okay, so how do you. When you know what the light is that you want to be? I feel like the thing that really is the roadblock for most people is their fear of, here's where I am, here's where I want to be. But in the middle roadblock is, what are other people going to think of me? And the fear of judgment. How can people get past the fear of judgment or the fear of other people thinking, oh, she didn't make it, or she's going backwards, or whatever? How do you push past that fear to really lean into where you want to go and who you want to be?

As much as I would like to say, you know, screw everyone, it is a real thing to work through. I mean, imposter syndrome is a really hard thing to work through. It's something that I'm still working through myself. But at the end of the day, you have to look at it and say, is there? Does their opinion really matter? Like, for me, when I think about someone they look like, I mean, a lot of people honestly don't. It's hard for them to comprehend the decision I made. I. I sold a chunk of my business that at the time was doing 80% of our revenue and I took a financial cut. And I feel like people are like, but why? Why would you. I don't understand. You know, I feel. And that was even so for me, I had to really step aside and say, that's not my issue. You know, that's. That's something that, if they can't understand that, that's fine. But I'm so comfortable with what I chose to do. And at the day, their opinion of whether or not they understand or like me as a person, it doesn't really affect my day to day, you know, my husband, my family, what I'm choosing to do in terms of living my core life and how I'm choosing to live that that's what matters. And also the women I'm helping out there, I don't care if it's one person, you know, if it's one person I'm helping, that trumps every single thing that anybody else may think of me. And it's almost having to put earmuffs on or blinders on at times and just focus and say, this is what I'm doing. What do I have to lose? I mean, really, at the end of the day, you know, there's this like fight or flight mode. Right. And I really had to say, if this doesn't work out, if I take this risk, is my world going to burn? No. I will go find a different job. I am completely employable. Right. Like, I have so much experience. Will it suck? Will it hurt? Absolutely. Because I've spent the last so many years building something. But the world is not going to end. So if I'm going to go down, I'm going to do it like guns blazing and go after what I actually want. I don't want to look back and say, what if? No matter, like. And no one's opinion about that really matters.

So good. So good. Sarah, this has been incredibly honest and insightful in so many ways. Today I'm so just thankful for your generous heart and sharing your journey with us. And I know so many donors can relate and hear you on this and are battling with what does make me happy. It's not what I see on social media and it's what makes me happy. So you've probably already answered this last question a number of ways through what you've already shared. But I'm going to ask it to you anyway. And that is, you know, I know you're a wife and a mom and, and we've talked about purpose, but really like 30 years from now, honestly, when you do look back at this bull journey and you're talking to her grandkids about the life that you live, the businesses you've created, all this journey you've been on, what's the thing you want them to remember most about you?

I lived my life without regrets.

That.

I, I went after what I wanted for my dreams and whether or not works out. I mean, no one can predict the future. I have no idea what it's going to look like. I did the brave thing and I actually went after it. And not a lot of people do that. And to me, that's everything. And you know what? I'm sitting here surrounded by my beautiful family, hopefully lots of grandkids on the beach somewhere with a glass of wine in my hand, just loving life and saying, you know, I did it, I did it and here I am. And I am so grateful and thankful that been able to live this life and look how beautiful it is.

Sarah, you are awesome. Thanks again for your time today. Thank you for your friendship and I can't wait to see where this journey continues to take you.

I'm so excited. Thank you so much.

Hey guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode. We hope that you loved it. Don't forget to hit subscribe and leave a rating and review down below for a chance to be one of our featured listeners each and every week. For more information on our spirit of community over competition and how to access complete show notes and bonus downloads from our guests, head on over to the boutiquehub.com and join the community. We'll see you next week.

I can't understand that. That's fine. But I'm so comfortable with what I chose to do and at the day, their, their opinion of whether or not they understand or like me as a person, it doesn't really affect my day to day, you know, my husband, my family, what I'm choosing to do in terms of living my core life and how I'm choosing to live that that's what matters. And also the women I'm helping out there. I don't care if it's one person, you know, if it's one person I'm helping, that trumps every single thing that anybody else may think of Me. And it's almost having to put earmuffs on or blinders on at times and just focus and say, this is what I'm doing. What do I have to lose? I mean, really, at the end of the day, you know, there's this, like, fight or flight mode. Right. And I really had to say, if this doesn't work out, if I take this risk, is my world gonna burn?

No.

I will go find a different job. I am completely employable. Right. Like, I have so much experience. Will it suck? Will it hurt? Absolutely. Because I've spent the last so many years building something. But the world is not going to end. So if I'm going to go down, I'm going to do it like guns blazing and go after what I actually want. I don't want to look back and say, what if? No matter, like. And no one's opinion about that really matters.

So good. So good. Sarah, this has been incredibly honest and insightful in so many ways. Today, I'm so just thankful for your generous heart and sharing your journey with us. And I know so many donors can relate and hear you on this and are battling with what does make me happy. It's not what I see on social media and it's what makes me happy. So you probably already answered this last question a number of ways through what you've already shared, but I'm going to ask it to you anyway. And that is, you know, I know you're a wife and a mom and we've talked about purpose, but really, like 30 years from now, honestly, when you do look back at this full journey and you're talking to your grandkids about the life that you live, the businesses you've created, all this journey you've been on, what's the thing you want them to remember most about you?

I lived my life without regrets that I. I went after what I wanted for my dreams and whether or not works out, I mean, no one can predict the future. I have no idea what it's going to look like. I did the brave thing and I actually went after it. And not a lot of people do that. And to me, that's everything. And you know what? I'm sitting here surrounded by my beautiful family, hopefully lots of grandkids on the beach somewhere with a glass of wine in my hand, just loving life and saying, you know, I did it, I did it, and here I am. And I am so grateful and thankful that I've been able to live this life and look how beautiful it is.

Sarah, you are awesome. Thanks again for your time today. Thank you for your friendship and I can't wait to see where this journey so excited.

Thank you so much.

Hey guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode. We hope that you loved it. Don't forget to hit subscribe and leave a rating and review down below for a chance to be one of our featured listeners each and every week. For more information on our spirit of community over competition and how to access complete show notes and bonus download downloads from our guests, head on over to the boutiquehub.com and join the community. We'll see you next week.